Oh Sandy

As everyone knows, New York has just been through a terrible storm that has brought the city to a stand-still. It didn't affect any of us the same way but it has certainly affected all of us. My Brooklyn neighborhood was practically untouched, as was the upper Manhattan neighborhood I holed up in just hours before the storm, but I know a lot of people who weren't as lucky. Power outages, flooded homes, trees knocked down everywhere; these are the things my friends and family have been reporting back when I check in on them. So even if you're one of the lucky ones, chances are that you're close to somebody who wasn't nearly as lucky.

It's incredible how the city changes during an emergency. There are the people complaining about inconveniences like the MTA shutting down; you have stores closing everywhere for days; and of course people are scrambling to get home or to figure out who they like enough to spend 48+ hours with. Everything is eerily calm and quiet. Once it's all over, you're happy to see your favorite bagel shop is open again, while the wine store across the street promises they'll be up and running by mid-afternoon. But then you find out that churches are calling people's homes to check in on all of them... and they aren't hearing from everyone.

As emergencies and disasters often do, this storm reminds us that we need to stick together in order to get through terrible circumstances. If there's any silver lining at all, it's learning that people will empathize and help whenever and however they can.

FRIDAY FORUM: Spooky Sights

Halloween is coming up next Wednesday. Some people go all out celebrating, and some couldn't care less when it's October 31st. What is your life like on this unique holiday? Do you dress up in a costume? Do you decorate?

Careful Correspondence

I was recently involved in a confusing situation at work, which involved an email I sent to provide guidance being misunderstood and causing the recipient to take offense. While that was not my intention, I can see why the tone of my correspondence was misconstrued. My company stood behind me, while at the same time suggesting I be more aware of my tone in my emails. I agree that this is something that I must do (as do most of us), especially since most of our interpersonal interactions happen via email, text, and social media. I decided to analyze my actions further so I do not make the same mistakes in the future.

First, I think understanding where the other person/party is coming from before getting into specific details is important. I only had one conversation with my now former client and his wife, and noticed the latter was much more talkative. I also discovered that they had different goals in mind than those provided by their company. This particular point should have made me contact my supervisor directly to alert her of this discrepancy immediately. While I did report the issue, I did not emphasize its seriousness to my company. While I am glad not to have brought it up during my conversation with the couple, I should have paused to clear up the confusion immediately with my company before moving forward.

I also wish I contacted my supervisor about an email she sent me to forward to the client about a sensitive matter. Because I went ahead and sent the email without realizing how it may be interpreted, I put myself in an awkward situation. I believe I should not have been given the task, because it was an issue to be settled between my company's and my client’s companies’ managerial and human resources departments. I will remember this in the future should a similar situation arise.

I am glad the situation is over, but others always arise to present new challenges. How do you handle the challenges of maintaining careful correspondence?

FRIDAY FORUM: Reading Material

All of us at CHICKS ROCK! enjoy reading--books, magazines, blogs, news--you name it, we devour it. We each have favorite things to read, and we have widely different preferences for what genres or type of reading material we enjoy. How about you? What do you like to read?

CHICK OF THE WEEK: Candy Crowley

Where Jim Lehrer failed, Candy Crowley succeeded. Regardless of your feelings about the U.S. presidential election, the first two televised debates and their respective moderators, can we all agree that Ms. Crowley did a far better job standing up to the candidates when needed? They made it very difficult at times to move from topic to topic and question to question, but she really did stand her ground with both of them. Some have called her pushy (somehow, I do not think a male counterpart would be described in the same way) but she did her job, and did it well.

Do you agree?

The Ups And Downs of Public Speaking

Watching the second presidential debate last night made me think about my own public speaking skills. Like many others, I have trouble expressing myself effectively in front of a crowd. I notice that President Obama, Mitt Romney and many other politicians running for public office do not answer the main thesis of certain questions when put on the spot during debates; this annoys me, but I think I may have been guilty of something similar in the past. I certainly hope I have improved my ability to get to the point and not drone on like some people do. The art of public speaking really is all about being concise and focused when giving a speech or answering questions.

My ups and downs with public speaking started when I was in elementary school. Each time I had to give a speech on a topic, my resolve to do well would crumble when the class bully would make faces and mutter snide comments to make me feel uncomfortable. When my ineffectual teachers would ask me questions in front of my classmates about the points made during my speech, I would give clumsy answers and prove that I wanted to be anywhere but in front of them. I retreated further into my shell, not wanting to raise my hand to answer a question in class when I knew the answer or have anyone take notice of me at all.

I began to break the cycle in college when I took a public speaking course that forced me to face my fears. My professor encouraged us to use our strengths to make us more comfortable with oral communication in our personal and professional lives. I think this class made it easier to speak to a group of overseas-bound ESL teachers about my experience in Indonesia, and later for my sister’s wedding. I am my own worst critic, but I think I did reasonably well in those two situations.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the art of public speaking!

FRIDAY FORUM: Autumn Weather

By mid-October our school and work lives are typically back in full swing after summer vacation and time away. The return of those rhythms, plus the oncoming change of weather definitely symbolize fall. How's the autumn weather in your neck of the woods?

FRIDAY FORUM: Street Treats

I don't know what it's like where you live, but in New York the fall is a prime time for street fairs. Stroll down one of these decked-out avenues and you'll find artists with wares on display, businesses offering discounts, live music playing, and vendors selling tasty, fatty snacks like hot dogs, popcorn, elephant ears, and cotton candy. Have you been to a street fair or carnival lately? What is your favorite street food?

Link Love for 10/4/2012

It's time for another great round-up of great links! Let's jump right into the mix, shall we?

Alexia Vernon shares to how she moves past fear and involuntary physical expressions that can get in the way of communicating effectively with others when it counts.  

Girl w/Pen discusses Half the Sky, the two-part PBS documentary inspired by the non-fiction book   written by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, which focuses on gender-based violence in a pragmatic, "everywoman" way.

In Good Company shares how her sense of agency led to her achievements as the creator and owner of various businesses.  

One Writeous Chick explores the nuances of writer's block in her life, particularly how she makes herself write when her voice is the problem.

Savvy Ladies' tips to sticking to a healthy diet within a budget are invaluable, especially for those at risk for serious health problems.

What have you all been reading and writing online in the last few weeks? Be sure to leave links in the comments.

Renovations And Revelations

Since last month, I have been working with a contractor who is finishing renovations on an apartment in New York City that my family owns. It was something I did not expect to take the lead on, but I have enjoyed the process overall. There was some stress when it came to deadlines on choosing a bathroom vanity and light fixtures for the bathroom and kitchen by certain dates, but I have enjoyed imagining what the completed apartment will look like when everything is done. Before the renovations began, the apartment had a leaky faucet, dark walls that made the space feel smaller than it is, and an uncomfortably small kitchen. Now the plumbing has been completely re-done, the walls are a sunny yellow color, and the kitchen is part of an open floor plan that flows into the living room. It is a great space now, and I am glad to have contributed to making it that way.

While I am planning to live there, it will not be forever; every choice I made is in mind to increase the value of the apartment if it has to be sold in the near future, which is likely. I followed a budget, which was the hardest thing to do when prices of certain items were higher than I wanted them to be. Thankfully, the contractor I worked with guided me in the right direction by providing various options and price points on things like kitchen countertops, appliances, and refurbishing the bathtub instead of replacing it. I am grateful that he did his job so well AND educated me about what to pay attention to during the renovations.

The refrigerator has yet to be delivered, and there a few final details that need to be completed, but I can safely say the bulk of the work is done. I look forward to enjoying the apartment while I still have it, and will look forward to renovations’ projects that come my way in the future.

Do renovations’ projects put you off, or do you welcome the challenges they bring?

Another Year, Another Apartment

I write this sick, exhausted, and having spent the weekend having a terrible moving experience. My new place is lovely but the gas isn't on, the tub doesn't drain or have hot water, the internet isn't set up yet, and I only just now got a real set of keys.

How's your October going so far?
  
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FRIDAY FORUM: Dreams and Visions

TWM's semi-annual Visioning Workshop takes place tomorrow. In honor of these self-reflective festivities, our question of the day follows the Visioning spirit: Is there a dream you hold in your heart that you have never pursued?

UPDATE: What's Next For You?

NOW THIS SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 30th - RSVP HERE

You've read about our Visioning Workshops many times on CHICKS ROCK! all these years, but now we've got a video to give you an inside look!

TWM's Visioning Workshops are a great way to spend some quality time with yourself to reflect on who you are and what you want in life right now. You can read about Kekla, Pauline and Sally's and other guest bloggers Visioning Workshop experiences here.

The next workshop is coming up on Saturday, September 29th Sunday, September 30th from 11:30am-5:30pm  CLICK HERE for the invite and a place to RSVP.  Hope to see you then!

See You Next Wednesday!

Pauline is beseiged with work and and not feeling well, so she hopes you take this opportunity to catch up on some of her old posts.
  
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Art in the Open

I've posted about this before, but I'm a total sucker for public art. Especially cheerful art that makes my day seem a little bit brighter.

In my adventures around the Miami area, I've been finding pieces that intrigue me. Here are a few of them:

I love the flamingo! She is so delightfully decked out. Apparently flamingos were one of the creatures featured in Miami area (Like how NYC had the apples for a while and I think it was Chicago that had cows?). Roosters are also popular around here.


This artist has colorful pieces up all over Miami. I like the style, although the locals seem to sort of be "over" his style. Very bright and cheerful, though, as far as I'm concerned.

I think part of what attracts me to art in public is simply the fact that it's free, for all to enjoy. So many times there seems to be a price attached to the enjoyment of art, whether it be expensive tickets to theater and opera, museum admission fees, hardcover book prices,  the ever-increasing cost of movie tickets, or certainly the extravagant prices of many fine art pieces.

Don't get me wrong--as an artist who makes a living off of people buying what I create, I am by no means suggesting that art should be totally free, or that artists shouldn't be paid. But few people can afford to buy every book they read--that's why we have libraries. Few people can purchase fine art pieces, that's why we have museums, and not everyone can even afford the ticket price, which is why they often have flexible fees and/or free admission days.

Absolutely, I think artists should not have to starve, nor to give away their ideas and their creations, but I also believe in sharing the wealth of creativity freely.  Seems like a contradiction, no?

What do you think? Can the idea of free art and the idea of artists actually making a living exist and, not only survive, but thrive in the same economy?

FRIDAY FORUM: Premiere Week

Most of the major television networks are airing their fall premieres this week and next. Which of your old favorites are back this year? Any new shows you're excited about this season?

Check In With Us Before The Year Ends

Can you believe that 2012 is almost over? Why not share some of the goals you hope to meet by the end of the year with us by writing about it! It will help give you some perspective and you can get support and feedback from others who are working towards their own accomplishments. So think about it and submit a guest post when you're done! We would love to hear from you.

Not sure what you'd like to do next? Let TWM's Visioning Workshop help clarify those goals for you! You might be surprised as to what turns up... The next workshop is Saturday, September 29th - Get more info and RSVP by clicking here.

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Memories Of A Muslim Country

The violence which first erupted last week in response to a contentious anti-Muslim film brings up memories of Indonesia for me. I never saw chaos on the streets of Jakarta or elsewhere in the country, nor did I experience any anti-Western sentiment from those I worked with and lived near to, but I do remember how deeply devout some of my Muslim Indonesian friends and acquaintances were and still are, and how they never made me feel out of place because I was not a Muslim. At shopping malls and all other public places, there are rooms for washing before and after prayers, usually near the restrooms, and rooms for prayer. The daily call for prayer never made me feel uncomfortable; instead I always felt peaceful. I lived in a Muslim country and was not treated like an infidel; I made friends with Muslims and Christians alike, and both groups easily mixed with each other.

When I first heard about the riot outside of the U.S. Embassy in Jakarta, Indonesia, I must admit that it made my blood run cold for a moment; when I heard there was no violence or bloodshed (to date, I have not heard of any) I felt better. I visited this location several times, and always found it a calm place each time I was there, even when I was stressed out about my visa or some other matter. I knew of some anti-Western sentiment, but it never touched me directly. Of course, being of Indian descent may have helped me considerably, because in countries like Indonesia, being white equals being Western most of the time. It is only when I open my mouth to speak that my American accent reveals who I really am, which sometimes confused the Indonesian people I met and even my family members from India. Unlike the latter, the former never tried to make me feel uneasy about my unusual accent and Western identity.

I hate stereotypes of all kinds, and I am just happy to have the experiences of living outside of them, in this country and abroad. I would like to hear more moderate and measured voices between the extremist ones from the West and the East. Is that too much to ask for? Perhaps for now, it is.

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He's There, The Phantom of the Opera

More than a decade ago, I saw one of my first Broadway shows, The Phantom of the Opera. It was the first show I obsessed over: I bought the highlights soundtrack, tried to learn every voice part in "Masquerade," and imagined myself someday belting out "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" (even though I wasn't a soprano and didn't have an opera voice).

Because I love Broadway, people often ask me what show to watch and I always include Phantom in my list of recommendations. But I realized sometime this year that what was once burned in my brain was now an incredibly distant memory. I still knew the story and listened to the songs, but I could no longer visualize any parts of the show.

So when my cousin got in touch with me about seeing something during Broadway Week, Phantom was the first show that came to mind. We finally went last week and I was blown away at how much I loved it! If it was even remotely possible, I loved it even more now than I ever remembered loving it before. The music, the drama, the emotion, the chandelier... Everything about it is perfect. I didn't cry nearly as much as I thought I would, but I also found myself holding my breath at times, which I certainly did not expect.

I am constantly amazed at the power of theater and music to move people the way it does. Some shows are great but others are mind-blowing, and I'm so happy to have had the experience again. Now that I'm taking voice lessons again, maybe in a few months I'll be able to master "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again."

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The Flux Capacitor

Strange as it sounds, I've been thinking about the movie "Back to the Future" lately. It was referenced in an episode of television I watched, and since then it's been on my mind. Particularly the magical time machine and its Flux Capacitor that sends Marty McFly back to the 1950s.

I think I was attracted to the phrase "flux capacitor" because my life has been in a considerable amount of flux lately. I've been traveling for almost six months, and writing, and dealing with unexpected events, and living life in a relatively unplanned way. It's been wonderful and challenging, and absolutely full of joy and uncertainty. A "flux capacitor" sounds like the sort of thing that could take such experiences and emotions and thoughts that often feel out of control and make them make sense, give them purpose.

Moments ago, I went to Merriam-Webster online dictionary and asked it to define "flux." I already know what the word means--change, transition, flow from one state to another--but as a writer, sometimes I like to see the technical definition. I usually learn something.

This is what it told me:

"Flux (n.): A flow of fluid from the body, as in (a) diarrhea, (b) dysentery."

That was it. No other definitions. Just a long, blank white page after that.

I cracked up laughing. What? Was it possible that I had been using this term wrong for years? Had I just created a blog post centered around the metaphor of my life as diarrhea?

Well, no, it turned out to be a glitch on the website. When I hit reload, it filled in the rest of the definitions, including the one I was looking for, which read simply: "change, fluctuation."

My sense of amusement continues. I've always considered it a strength that I can laugh at myself. And I realize that saying or doing something stupid from time to time doesn't make me any less smart. It was a nice reality check, too, because when I said my life was in flux, I definitely did not mean my life is watery crap. Not by a long shot.

So now I'm thinking that maybe the Flux Capacitor isn't all it's cracked up to be. Marty McFly goes to the past to try to change things, but when he gets there, he realizes it was a bit of a mistake and all he wants is to get back to the future.

I am luckier than Marty, I suppose, because I've never wanted to change the past. I'm happy with where I am and how I got here. But I do think there's value in looking back. All of this flux is leading somewhere...and hopefully that somewhere is a brighter, more coherent future.

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