Free and Equal in Dignity and Rights*

The following was originally posted on January 24, 2012. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective:

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton appeared before the United Nations in Geneva, Switzerland, this past December to speak in celebration of Human Rights Day. Human Rights Day honors the moment in 1948 when, after several years of debate and deliberation, the UN voted to ratify a Universal Declaration of Human Rights, affirming that all human beings on earth are "born free and equal in dignity and rights," and that governments cannot remove or assign those rights, but instead have a responsibility to protect them for ALL citizens under their care.

Incredibly powerful stuff. In many ways, this declaration came decades ahead of its time--many of the countries that voted in favor of it had yet to recognize the full citizenship of all their people. We still had segregation in the southern U.S., repressive colonialism existed throughout much of Africa, and women still fought for gender equality all over the globe. But the declaration passed, I imagine because of the inherent truth of it, in spite of the fact that the world leaders of the day could not have comprehended the vast significance their affirmation would take on in the decades to come.

Secretary Clinton spent her time at the podium last month articulating the vastly important message that leaders are supposed to lead, often in big bold strokes that their people may not be ready for. She focuses on how, for all the progress that we've made worldwide in the past century securing human rights for women, indigenous people, racial and ethnic minorities, religious groups, and people with disabilities, there is another group that has yet to be fully recognized as deserving of human rights--gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Her speech is mind-blowing. It is clear, direct, simple yet challenging...and honest. It gets to the heart of the questions that people on all sides of the sexuality issue ask, and the beliefs they hold dear, and begins to grapple with them--the way we all are going to need to speak within public discourse if additional progress is ever to be made.

I happen to adore Hillary, but even if you don't, you should watch this speech from beginning to end, and listen. It's thirty minutes long, but well worth it. She transcends politics here, in a way that we need many more of our politicians to do. And she's right. Changes are coming, and I, for one, want to "be on the right side of history."



What did you think of this speech?

Free and Equal in Dignity and Rights

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton appeared before the United Nations in Geneva, Switzerland, this past December to speak in celebration of Human Rights Day. Human Rights Day honors the moment in 1948 when, after several years of debate and deliberation, the UN voted to ratify a Universal Declaration of Human Rights, affirming that all human beings on earth are "born free and equal in dignity and rights," and that governments cannot remove or assign those rights, but instead have a responsibility to protect them for ALL citizens under their care.

Incredibly powerful stuff. In many ways, this declaration came decades ahead of its time--many of the countries that voted in favor of it had yet to recognize the full citizenship of all their people. We still had segregation in the southern U.S., repressive colonialism existed throughout much of Africa, and women still fought for gender equality all over the globe. But the declaration passed, I imagine because of the inherent truth of it, in spite of the fact that the world leaders of the day could not have comprehended the vast significance their affirmation would take on in the decades to come.

Secretary Clinton spent her time at the podium last month articulating the vastly important message that leaders are supposed to lead, often in big bold strokes that their people may not be ready for. She focuses on how, for all the progress that we've made worldwide in the past century securing human rights for women, indigenous people, racial and ethnic minorities, religious groups, and people with disabilities, there is another group that has yet to be fully recognized as deserving of human rights--gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Her speech is mind-blowing. It is clear, direct, simple yet challenging...and honest. It gets to the heart of the questions that people on all sides of the sexuality issue ask, and the beliefs they hold dear, and begins to grapple with them--the way we all are going to need to speak within public discourse if additional progress is ever to be made.

I happen to adore Hillary, but even if you don't, you should watch this speech from beginning to end, and listen. It's thirty minutes long, but well worth it. She transcends politics here, in a way that we need many more of our politicians to do. And she's right. Changes are coming, and I, for one, want to "be on the right side of history."



What did you think of this speech?

Take Back Halloween

I'm a fan of Halloween. I don't enjoy being scared or spooked, but I like eating candy, and I particularly like dressing up in a costume and getting together with friends. Halloween reminds me of childhood, so for me there remains an innocent joy about it that is really delightful. It's an opportunity to be quirky and creative, silly and dramatic, and generally let your freak flag fly.

But it seems that the costume trend--for young women especially--has tipped away from quirky/creative and more toward short flimsy skirts and "slutty" versions of every imaginable profession and traditional Halloween character. Walking down the sidewalk this weekend, you will find slutty nurses, slutty pirates, slutty witches, and any manner of costumes not outright labeled "slutty" but designed to flash skin and tease the eye.

I'm not exactly sure when Halloween became the holiday to be "slutty," but apparently it's unavoidable. Two years ago, I dressed as the board game "Twister." I wrapped a (homemade) Twister mat around me like a toga, and turned the dial into a mortarboard-like cap and went out. I thought it was a cute, innocent and child-like costume, but when I got to the party, the first thing every guy I talked to (and these were my friends) said to me was some version of "Whoa, I hope no one calls out Right Hand Yellow" or "That costume wins Most-Likely-To Get-You-Touched."

I have to admit, I was creeped out and traumatized by their reactions, because it had NEVER occurred to me that my costume was in any way sexually inviting, or might be interpreted that way. Am I naive? Maybe. But it was definitely an eye opener to the fact that these young guys have been trained to look at women as sexual objects--especially on Halloween, when all of our underbelly tendencies are allowed to rise to the surface.

I suspect there's deeper significance to the pervasive desire among young women to flaunt their sexuality as part of a costume. Something joyful and freeing about putting yourself physically out there, like saying it's me, but not me, and then not having to own it in the morning. The excitement that surrounds it can't be denied, but if dressing up in costumes is the only way women feel like they can be so baldly sexual, there's something wrong with that too.

This year I discovered an organization called Take Back Halloween, which tries to counter the trend toward overt sex-kitten attire by cataloging costume ideas based on dynamic women from world history on their website. They call it A Costume Guide for Women with Imagination. Their press release says: "We’re trying to reclaim some space for a different vision of the holiday, where women can use Halloween to explore history and celebrate their heritage.”

Sounds awesome to me. Ladies, let's mix it up a bit tonight.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

We've Got You Covered

This post is a bit different from what you might normally find on CHICKS ROCK!, but when we were asked to join "We've Got You Covered," the birth control blog carnival co-hosted by National Women's Law Center and Planned Parenthood, we couldn't say no.

You see, the Department of Health and Human Services will soon be deciding what types of "preventive services" will be made available through the new health insurance plans without a co-pay. That alone is pretty exciting -- but how much better would it be if birth control were one of the preventive services?

Birth control is an integral part of a lot of women's lives. It gives us the power to decide when to start a family, how many children we want to have (if any), and when we want to stop with the family we have. This power never stops being important, whether you're single or married with five children, yet the cost that comes along with this power really adds up. Even those of us who choose other methods of birth control, such as fertility awareness, respect the decision of those who choose other forms. And most of us can agree that the reason better access to birth control isn't a priority in health agendas is because of the stigma that still surrounds birth control and women's sexual health. Well, that needs to change, and this would be a great way to start.

So what can you do to make it easier for women to stay proactive in their sexual health? For them to not have high costs deter them from their right to decide when and how to start a family? You can take action today.

There's a petition you can sign to ask HHS to get rid of co-pays for birth control. Share this post with your friends and urge them to get involved as well, by signing the petition and spreading the word.

Give A Gift, Be An Ally

Time is flying quickly. Thanksgiving has passed and the end-of-year holidays will be here before we know it. Even though I'm personally trying not to "deal" with the holidays just yet, I'm reminded that this is a time of year when a lot of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people choose to come out to their family or friends for the first time. I want to use my few paragraphs here today to celebrate that fact, but also to offer a bit of advice and a few resources to those who may unexpectedly find themselves in the position of being an ally this holiday season.

Make no mistake: to be an ally and supporter to an "out" person is a valuable gift--one that no monetary purchase can ever hope to equal. I believe that the simple words "I love you" and "I support you" can go a long way toward making someone feel at ease to be themselves around you. Don't underestimate how important such a simple and FREE offering can be.

The news lately has been peppered with stories of young people who've fallen so far from a feeling of acceptance that they've resorted to taking their own lives because of bullying or fear related to being gay, bi or trans. Each and every one of these stories breaks my heart. I want to do my part to stop these tragedies from occurring, because I believe every person, regardless of his/her sexuality, is special and beautiful and has meaning in the world.

I've considered myself an ally for many years now, and I've struggled with sexuality in my own ways, and in the midst of that I've learned a few simple tricks allies can employ that might help people feel comfortable to "come out" to you:

• Consider using gender-neutral language as much as possible when talking about romantic relationships (i.e. substitute "partner" for "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," even when you know the sex/gender of the person you're referring to)
• Along the same lines, ask broadly-definable questions (i.e., "Are you seeing anyone?" as opposed to "Met any nice guys lately?" or "Do you have a girlfriend?"
• When appropriate, make reference to your support of issues like same-sex marriage, ordination of gay clergy, anti-bullying, or your beliefs on equality, sexuality or human rights. Alternately, be open-minded and willing to engage different opinions even when expressing opposition to or questions about such issues.
• Honesty is important: if you can speak about your own struggles, and express your own questions and doubts, other people will respond in kind.

Also, here are some organizations and quick-link resources for people who are or wish to become allies:

• Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD)'s ally page helps us understand "How to be an Ally and a Friend."
• Human Rights Campaign (HRC) introduces ways to remain politically active on issues affecting LGBTQ communities.
• Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) offers support, resorces and activism opportunities for families and allies.
• Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) provides information and resources to create safe schools and to fight bullying.

Do you know of other resources for allies? Have you had any experience being an ally, or drawing on the support of allies? What has been helpful for you?

Controversial Cleavage

The clothing company Lane Bryant recently reported that a new ad featuring a plus-size model has been censored from prime time network television because the models were "too sexy" and showing too much skin. Meanwhile, the same networks aired a Victoria's Secret ad in prime time. A case of size discrimination? Here is a link to a Jezebel article that better outlines the controversy, but I thought I'd post the video here, too.

This is the Lane Bryant ad, which ABC and FOX have reportedly refused to run during Dancing with the Stars and American Idol, respectively:

Now, I'm the first to agree that the plus-size model (she's size 16) is sexier than any size 0. (Full round hips vs. protruding hip bones? Generous cleavage vs. exposed ribs? No contest.) We've all known for a while now that, although it's great to be slender in a healthy way, women's bodies are meant to curve and carry a bit of fat in certain places. (Let's face it, there's a reason why we need lingerie in the first place....)

What I actually find fascinating about this is how any television network can argue with a straight face that they believe bigger women to be sexier. These are the same network execs who have spent the last few decades spoonfeeding us images of increasingly thin women, calling them sexy, and turning the regular girls among us upside-down with self-doubt, because it's just not real to be that thin.

The networks have denied the accusations of discrimination, and may ultimately even run the ad. Still, it would be naive to think that the TV studios are coming around to a healthier way of looking at women. No, I believe that they are using "sexy" as an excuse to keep these images out of the public eye as long as possible. Because once these sexy, full-figured ladies make the limelight, the lies the networks spent half a century building will begin to break down. The public might just start to demand "sexy" women in all their TV fare. For networks built on such a... slim... foundation, that would mean starting over from scratch. And they don't want to.

Blurring the Lines

I traveled to Cape Cod recently, and spent some time in the community of Provincetown, way out on the very tip of the Cape. P'town happens to be an area rich with shopping, beaches and a thriving nightlife -- and it also happens to be one of the most extremely rainbow-flagged locations I have ever seen. I can't recall ever experiencing such a warm and open community of people, within which any couple, or family, can find a space of comfort, even among strangers.

The vibe throughout this town is wonderful. People are relaxed and most likely on vacation, wandering through the streets hand in hand. Men and men, women and women, men and women, parents and children, friends -- the full gamut of people in all their quirkiness and beauty. One thing I observed in my wanderings was that it was impossible to tell on the surface who belonged with whom. A far cry from the traditional formula of Mom, Dad, 2.3 kids and a dog. I loved that. It really brought home for me the fact that our country, our world, is changing in important ways that have been a long time coming.

Even living in a place as diverse as NYC, I feel as though there is a compartmentalization of people of different races, sexualities, lifestyles. These divides run deep, and are hard to bridge at times. We coexist, but are still working to live in true harmony with one another. In P'town, I witnessed something fundamentally different. A blending of diverse spheres of existence into one thriving center of culture and sharing.

On the streets there, you simply could not look at the faces of people passing and make assumptions. That experience showed me how many assumptions I make about people I know, and about the strangers I pass in my everyday life -- assumptions that maybe I should learn to think past. I consider myself to be an open-minded person, but maybe I need to work hard to be more so.

Perhaps we all need to be challenged in these ways more often. The lines that define "a family" have blurred in lovely ways. I, for one, hope they keep on blurring.