You Say You Want a Revolution

The following was originally posted on December 11, 2013 on Kristina's blog.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a coach and speaker in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.  

You can follow her @clearlykristina and like her Personal Growth Gab (PGG) page on Facebook to get more thought-provoking, inspirational and motivational tidbits like this!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In memory of Grace Lee Boggs June 27, 1915 - October 5, 2015

One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others .~ Nelson Mandela

Revolution is the evolution of humans into a higher humanity . ~ Grace Lee Boggs
                 

Those of you who know me or have been reading PGG for a while are aware that my passion and mission in life has always been to contribute to world peace, mostly through my work best expressed in my mantra that personal transformation is the key to social transformation.

So it should come as no surprise that I profoundly relate to and revere the lives of these two nonagenarians, Nelson Mandela who died last week at age 95, and the 98-year-old activist and author Grace Lee Boggs.  They literally embody this philosophy in every cell of their beings; they have demonstrated it externally with their activism and sacrifice for racial equality and social justice, and internally by the wisdom they have gained and generously share from nearly a century of experience, observation, and, most importantly, reflection.
  

Both started out as 'radicals', and were branded as terrorists with the requisite FBI/CIA files (Mandela was even on the US terrorism watch list until 2008!) because they initially saw the only way to overthrow the entrenched power structure was by employing the more literal and sometimes violent tactics of revolution through organized movements and a spirit of rebellion. But through trial and error, incarceration, and maturity, they eventually evolved; they gave themselves permission to change their minds, learn and grow in light of new information, experimentation and once again, reflection - ultimately coming to the conclusion that in order to change the world, they would have to change themselves.

They came to understand that indeed humanity is made up of humans and that humans were going to have to deal with other humans in order to get anything done. So we'd better be the best we can be as individuals and try to get along and get past our differences and disagreements, because the reality is that we must co-exist harmoniously - whether in a racially divided African country, a rundown bankrupt American city, or in your very own household.

We are living in extraordinary times, and it is no accident that you are who you are at this moment in history.

What does your humanity mean to you?  As our world continues to go through turbulent changes and upheavals, it will be up to us individually and collectively to do our part to 'tear down' where necessary and rebuild a more enlightened society that reflects our evolved humanity.  But we have to start with ourselves and do what we can in our immediate environments to demonstrate our own revolution - which, by the way, does not happen overnight or with a magic pill, silver bullet, or special app.

Only through keen observation, deep reflection, and inner and outer sweating effort and energy over a long period of time directed towards improving ourselves and serving others that true transformation can take place. Then, if we're lucky, by the time we reach our 90's we can look back and see how our journey has positively and productively unfolded in both a personal and political way, and be proud of what we accomplished and the legacy we will leave behind.

Wondering how it will all go down if you take up the cause? Give me a buzz and I will incite a riot in your heart to make the most of what you got, so at the end of the day you know it's gonna be alright!

***************************************

I am so grateful to have learned about and met Grace Lee Boggs just two years ago. 
She passed away yesterday at the age of 100. 

 Everyone should experience her wisdom and humanity so be sure 

check out the documentary or watch the many videos 

of her that can be found online. She is a national treasure who will be greatly missed, but whose legacy will live on in all the lives she touched.

Happy Birthday Gloria!

Happy Birthday to Gloria Steinem who we have been honored to meet several times over the years (and is a proud owner of a CHICKS ROCK! button and TWM key chain). But the first time is always the most thrilling...which was Omega's 2004 Women & Power Conference where TWM was an exhibitor, and where we also met the amazing Jane Fonda and Sally Field among others. It was a big moment for us all around! Your can read Gloria's keynote from that event here: http://www.feminist.com/resources/artspeech/genwom/leaps.html

Rubbing Elbows

I recently returned from the NAACP Image Awards out in Los Angeles, where my second novel, CAMO GIRL was nominated for Outstanding Literary Work for Youth/Teens. It's pretty exciting to be nominated for anything, but especially when I get to go to an award show peppered with celebrities where I can see them up close and personal.

I'm not too big a follower of celebrity gossip. I usually hear the major stories, and I do okay in pop culture conversations, but I'm by no means an expert. I rarely read movie star magazines, I don't always know who is dating whom, and who is starring in her own new reality show, or whose marriage is on the rocks. I'm a casual observer at best.

But, put me in a room packed with television, film and recording stars, and suddenly I'm asking myself how close is too close to pass by Samuel L. Jackson in the crowd without looking like I'm doing it on purpose to try and catch some skin? (Don't worry, I didn't get nearly close enough. Nor would I actually randomly touch a celebrity. Really. Not unless the crowd was jostling just so....)

Ahem. The point of this is that, while I was momentarily starstruck by being in the same room with folks like Viola Davis, L.L. Cool J, Sidney Poitier, Harry Belafonte and Sandra Oh, it's also a surprisingly humanizing thing to see people in person and realize they're not truly larger than life, they simply look like it on t.v.

I've never aspired to the kind of fame that movie stars draw. My definition of success is almost entirely internal--when I feel successful it has more to do with what I've accomplished than how many people are looking when I accomplish it. So I wouldn't expect to fit in in a room of screen actors, but I did fit there, because I realized that I have more in common with them on a human level than it would appear at first glance. We are all just making art, and hoping people like it. We all occasionally wobble in our high heels, or read a wrong word off the teleprompter. We all have to squint at our ticket stub in the dim lighting to find our way to our seat. We all bring a friend or partner along with us, because it's awkward to go it alone in such a weird social setting.

It's less intimidating to be among the stars once they start to seem like people. It's easier to walk up to them and say "I enjoy your work" when I think about how nice it is when other people say that to me. The little glow of their stardom doesn't fade with this realization, but it makes the world seem wider open, as if all the seemingly unattainable things might be closer at hand than we realize.

Listening Big

I'm not a big radio listener these days, and when I do tune in I typically listen to music. So, I was surprised but excited when I was invited in for a cool interview on NPR last week. I've done radio interviews before, but I must confess that each time the experience takes me a little outside of my comfort zone. I'm used to talking about my books, but I'm used to talking directly to young readers--not into a fancy microphone!

I went on the Michael Eric Dyson Show to talk about my new novel Camo Girl (I managed to mention The Rock and the River a few times, too). The interview was recorded and incorporated into the episode that aired on April 1 in select markets nationwide (woot!). I listened to it when the podcast went up online, and I was pleased to hear that I sounded normal, maybe even intelligent. I had been really nervous going into the interview, so I'm really glad that it turned out well.

To be honest, downloading my own interview was one of the first times I've listened to a podcast. I hear people talking about them, and I've heard of many podcasts that sound intriguing to me, either by subject or concept or host. Yet, it's a form of media that I'm not sure how to access in an ongoing way. I have the technology, but I don't always remember to use it. I'm looking for ways to remind myself to try new things and stretch the boundaries of my experience, to move beyond books and conversations, to other media and ways of connecting. It feels like a wave of the furture, in some ways. I'd better get on board!

Are you a radio listener? What shows/stations do you enjoy? Follow any podcasts?

If you're interested in my Dyson Show interview, you can download the podcast or listen online. (If you don't want to listen to the whole hour, my part starts at 23:00.) Let me know what you think!

Women of Substance

When I was little, my mom would sometimes say about the large black women we encountered, "Now there's a woman of substance." I think this may be a West African turn of phrase that she picked up in Cameroon, but I'm not really sure. Maybe it's just her thing. At any rate, I always liked the sound of it. Much better than "fat" or "heavyset" or "big-boned," as people used to say, and also better, I would argue, than current p.c. terms like "plus-sized" or even "full-figured."

I like this phrase because it speaks of something more than physicality, some kind of soul force that is somehow more visible in large women. A presence, a power that is inescapable. You know the kind of woman I'm talking about--the ones who bear children and run households and move mountains and can silence a room full of men with a look, but more often than not have yet to be fully appreciated in the world, despite their brilliance and grace.

I'm proud to say I recently witnessed two "women of substance" breaking through, and saw each honored for her wisdom, power and voice. I attended Yale University graduation last weekend, where the school bestowed honorary doctorates on Ellen Johnson Sirleaf and Aretha Franklin. Sing it, sistahs!

Aretha Franklin, of course, is the gospel-singing goddess known as the "Queen of Soul." She received an honorary Doctor of Music. Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, President of the Republic of Liberia, is the first woman elected to lead an African nation. She received an honorary Doctor of Laws. Of course, Yale didn't discover these divas--they've both been making their mark for years. But it is gratifying to see them being honored in new forms, in new venues, in front of new audiences, so that we may continue to be inspired by their gifts.

As women go, this pair definitely has a lot of substance!

Sorry, Oscar. Still Grouching...

I've been reflecting on my previous post, about Kathryn Bigelow as the first Academy Award-winning female director. I keep trying to figure out why this particular “first” felt so distressing to me. This is what I landed on:

I've always thought of Academy Awards for women and Academy Awards for men in the same breath. On the acting side, women are always nominated, and women always win because we have our own categories. I take this in stride, but now I’m forced to wonder: does having separate categories imply that you can't compare what women do with what men do? Is there an inherent inequality there?

Women steal the focus on the red carpet, but are asked to discuss what we're wearing. Men fade into the background, brought forth to talk about their actual work. Vera Farmiga gets asked what it was like working with George Clooney on Up in the Air, while George gets asked what drew him to the character he played. If male and female actors were judged together, would women ever be nominated, or would we simply get to be someone's date? Would a woman have won best actor by now, or would we still be waiting? Would the lack of recognition in other categories have been called to wider attention, and rectified, sooner?

Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised that women are still experiencing major "firsts." I admit that I come and go from the land of feminism. I want equality, and I'm willing to argue over it and I believe I'm willing to fight for it, too, but most of the time I feel like the world is working well enough for me.

In my most cynical moments this week, I wondered if we weren't better off in the days of overt, rampant sexism, a la Mad Men, because at least then we knew what we were up against. At least then sexism didn't sneak up on you like a mosquito--just when you think you imagined the buzzing, there comes the welt. I don't really believe that women were better off before, but I hate that blind-sided feeling when I stumble on problems I should’ve been aware of all along, I just didn't see them.

Oscar's Dirty Little Secret

Until last night, watching The Academy Awards, I had no idea that no woman had ever won an Oscar for Best Director. What in the world????

I'm a movie lover, and though I'm not always knowledgeable about what goes on behind the camera, I know a little about the industry. Even I can name a range of female directors who might, at some point in their careers, have been eligible for such an honor: Penny Marshall, Jane Campion, Nancy Meyers, Kathie Bates, Nora Ephron, Sofia Coppola, Mira Nair....the list goes on.

Yet, I learned from the NYTimes last night that in Oscar's 82-year history, only four women have ever even been nominated in the director category: Lina Wertmuller (1975-Seven Beauties), Jane Campion (1993-The Piano), Sofia Coppola (2003-Lost In Translation) and Kathryn Bigelow, who shattered yet another glass ceiling by taking home the award last night for The Hurt Locker.

To be honest, I'm slightly appalled by this. I'm glad Kathryn Bigelow won, of course, but why did she have to be the first? And going beyond gender, why did Lee Daniels (Precious) have to be the first African-American director EVER NOMINATED??? Why, in our supposedly post-race, post-gender America do we still have to overcome so many large and small obstacles?



It makes me wonder....if diversity and equality aren't reflected and respected within our pop culture, organically, then have we really embraced these values as fully as we claim?

My Hollywood Moment

On Friday evening, I attended the NAACP Image Awards show which was televised live from the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles. (My book was nominated for "Outstanding Literary Work for Youth/Teens.") This was a full on black tie, celebrity studded, red carpet phenomenon... the kind you imagine attending as a kid, standing in front of your bathroom mirror with a hairbrush as your microphone: "I'd like to thank the Academy..."

The real deal, as it turns out, is simultaneously as thrilling as you imagine it will be, and yet somehow also fails to live up to your most glamorous expectations. The behind-the-scenes vibe of Hollywood, it seems, is just as awkward and dysfunctional as the behind-the-scenes vibe everywhere else.

My brother and I arrived in limousine style, stood in line with the other nominees, and walked the red carpet immediately behind the likes of Sherri Shepherd (The View), Gabrielle Union (Flash Forward), and the teenage cast members of Glee and Lincoln Heights. We waited forever for our turn, as they ushered the more famous individuals past us for priority red carpet access. Why we waited it out was unclear, because none of the photographers were terribly interested in capturing us, but I refused to slip around behind the curtain and scurry to my seat. I was determined to have my red carpet moment, even if nothing came of it but the experience.

Once inside, we discovered that, while the glitz and glam of Hollywood is definitely a true fact, there is also a human side to everything. It's refreshing to watch someone like Morgan Freeman studying his ticket stub up and down trying to locate his seat, or Chris Rock smiling as he embraces an old friend in the aisle. These are consummate performers with a job to do, yet they are also just people.

I'll be happy to post more about my L.A. adventures, if folks want to hear about it, but for now I'll leave you with one small nugget. I was so nervous in preparing for this event ("What am I going to wear?" "What is it going to be like?" "This is so far out of my league..."), but in the end, I didn't feel as out of place as I expected. I accepted my role as author, nominee, and person--and found my place among the stars.

Finding the Fantasy

Well, this is the week of the NAACP Image Awards. I'm beginning to try to imagine myself walking the red carpet. In the past, I've daydreamed about this type of event in an abstract well-it-will-never-really-happen-but-it's-nice-to-dream kind of way. I imagined a dramatic, expensive dress, make-up to the hilt, needle-thin stiletto heels that I could somehow glide perfectly in, a gorgeous date to shepherd me through the crowds of my adoring fans....

Yeah, right.

The reality is shaping up to be quite a bit less than the fantasy, but I must admit it is still exciting! So far, I have a dramatic, inexpensive dress, no idea what I will do as far as make-up, marker-thick sparkly heels which I can walk in without falling, and a gorgeous date to shepherd me down the red carpet--my little brother!

What I've realized through all of this is that fulfilling the complete red carpet fantasy isn't what's important here. I'm a regular person, not a starlet or debutante. I don't even want to be those things, so why should I bend over backwards to try to look or act like it? It's fun to dress up and feel glamorous for an evening--I'm actually looking forward to that. But I'd rather not fit in by being myself than by trying to look like celebrities do, and missing the mark.

I'm excited about the possibility of rubbing elbows with the Hollywood types, of course. But I'm more thrilled that my work is being recognized. That's part of an entirely different fantasy--one I love and am much more comfortable living into.

Rubbing Elbows

I don't know what it is about celebrities. Honestly, I don't. Why is it such a big deal to meet them? It totally is, though!!

Last week, I had the opportunity to sign a copy of my novel for Ms. Phylicia Rashad, a.k.a. Clare Huxtable on The Cosby Show and star of many a Broadway show. This is an actress who I've watched and loved basically my entire life, and here I found myself in her company. Not just in the same room, but face to face with her!!!

I. Totally. Freaked. Out.

At least in my head -- I think I came across okay in real time, but WOW. I freaked out. And why? In any given social setting, I probably have five or six different conversations about myself, my work. Easy. I know the ropes. I know me. I know how to talk about my stuff.

Ack! Why then do I trip over myself and get all tongue-tied when the chance comes to talk to a celebrity? I look pretty calm in the picture, but all I could do was second-guess every thought, word and motion, as if so much hung in the balance. When really, nothing was riding on the moment at all.

So, again I must wonder: what is it about celebrities? Is it real? Do we overthink it? Or is it just a small world thing -- like it's hard to believe someone can be in our TV one moment and shaking our hand the next? I mean, at the end of the day, they're just people, like the rest of us. Aren't they?

In the case of someone like Ms. Rashad, I'm tempted to think it's real. She's earned our admiration through her life's work -- something we all aspire to in our own ways. She was as graceful, eloquent, thoughtful and present in person as she is in her performances. She took the time to talk to me. Not everyone in her position would have.

What celebrities have you met? Did you manage to play it cool?