You Say You Want a Revolution

The following was originally posted on December 11, 2013 on Kristina's blog.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a coach and speaker in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.  

You can follow her @clearlykristina and like her Personal Growth Gab (PGG) page on Facebook to get more thought-provoking, inspirational and motivational tidbits like this!

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In memory of Grace Lee Boggs June 27, 1915 - October 5, 2015

One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others .~ Nelson Mandela

Revolution is the evolution of humans into a higher humanity . ~ Grace Lee Boggs
                 

Those of you who know me or have been reading PGG for a while are aware that my passion and mission in life has always been to contribute to world peace, mostly through my work best expressed in my mantra that personal transformation is the key to social transformation.

So it should come as no surprise that I profoundly relate to and revere the lives of these two nonagenarians, Nelson Mandela who died last week at age 95, and the 98-year-old activist and author Grace Lee Boggs.  They literally embody this philosophy in every cell of their beings; they have demonstrated it externally with their activism and sacrifice for racial equality and social justice, and internally by the wisdom they have gained and generously share from nearly a century of experience, observation, and, most importantly, reflection.
  

Both started out as 'radicals', and were branded as terrorists with the requisite FBI/CIA files (Mandela was even on the US terrorism watch list until 2008!) because they initially saw the only way to overthrow the entrenched power structure was by employing the more literal and sometimes violent tactics of revolution through organized movements and a spirit of rebellion. But through trial and error, incarceration, and maturity, they eventually evolved; they gave themselves permission to change their minds, learn and grow in light of new information, experimentation and once again, reflection - ultimately coming to the conclusion that in order to change the world, they would have to change themselves.

They came to understand that indeed humanity is made up of humans and that humans were going to have to deal with other humans in order to get anything done. So we'd better be the best we can be as individuals and try to get along and get past our differences and disagreements, because the reality is that we must co-exist harmoniously - whether in a racially divided African country, a rundown bankrupt American city, or in your very own household.

We are living in extraordinary times, and it is no accident that you are who you are at this moment in history.

What does your humanity mean to you?  As our world continues to go through turbulent changes and upheavals, it will be up to us individually and collectively to do our part to 'tear down' where necessary and rebuild a more enlightened society that reflects our evolved humanity.  But we have to start with ourselves and do what we can in our immediate environments to demonstrate our own revolution - which, by the way, does not happen overnight or with a magic pill, silver bullet, or special app.

Only through keen observation, deep reflection, and inner and outer sweating effort and energy over a long period of time directed towards improving ourselves and serving others that true transformation can take place. Then, if we're lucky, by the time we reach our 90's we can look back and see how our journey has positively and productively unfolded in both a personal and political way, and be proud of what we accomplished and the legacy we will leave behind.

Wondering how it will all go down if you take up the cause? Give me a buzz and I will incite a riot in your heart to make the most of what you got, so at the end of the day you know it's gonna be alright!

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I am so grateful to have learned about and met Grace Lee Boggs just two years ago. 
She passed away yesterday at the age of 100. 

 Everyone should experience her wisdom and humanity so be sure 

check out the documentary or watch the many videos 

of her that can be found online. She is a national treasure who will be greatly missed, but whose legacy will live on in all the lives she touched.

PGG: The Book! A great read from TWM's Founder Kristina Leonardi

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to announce that Kristina Leonardi,  founder of The Women’s Mosaic just published her first book!  Be sure to check out: PersonalGrowth Gab (PGG), Volume One: Thought-provoking, inspirational and entertainingessays to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journeycalled Life  on Amazon!

Kristina is a career/life/executive coach and motivational speaker in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.   You can follow her @clearlykristina and like her Personal Growth Gab (PGG) page on Facebook to learn more or click on her name on the tags from this blog to read several of her posts!

CLICK HERE FOR OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT EXCERPTED BELOW

If you are on my mailing list you've being finding a PGG in your inbox every week for a while now, and have stuck with me this far as I've discovered my voice and put my thoughts and observations out there in a creative way. My intention has always been to provide a unique perspective about life and bring some reflection, hope and meaning to your day. Thank you for reading them! 

I've sent out more than 131 original essays over the past five years (oh yes, there were more but they were re-runs!) and because I've received such positive feedback about how they help motivate, inspire and make you think, I thought why not put them together in a beautiful book for you to access at any time?

It took a while to get it all together but I'm proud to announce it's finally here!  I'll be promoting this baby in multiple ways these next couple weeks (well, forever), but for now I just wanted to let you know you can get a copy of Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One: Thought-provoking, inspirational, entertaining essays to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journey called Life in your hot little hands today!

I sincerely hope you enjoy the book - please let me know what you think by sending me an email, posting on Facebook, tweeting about it, and/or writing an Amazon Review.

Kristina

P.S.  If you're a fan, I would love if you could let your friends know about the book using the social media icons on the top of this email or from the Amazon page.  Thank you thank you!
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NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON!

If you are seeking how to get centered in who you are and what you want, read this book!

Brimming with insight, compassion, and humor, this collection of essays offers encouragement to anyone seeking to grow in harmony with their true nature, and to discover a genuine path toward positive change in the world, starting with themselves.

A great way to go to bed on a positive note and wake up with a refreshing message. Definitely one I’m keeping on my night stand!

Each essay is punchy and profound.

Personal Growth Gab (PGG), Volume One: Thought-provoking, inspirational and entertaining essays to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journey called Life is a compilation of nearly five years of essays that both stimulate and address the questions of who we are, where we are going and how we can get there in today’s rapidly changing, fast-paced world.

Kristina began PGG as a weekly email and blog in January 2010, but an avid, faithful and growing group of readers led her to compile these 131 nuggets of wisdom and advice into a beautifully designed and practically organized book. (You can visit the home page of this website for sample essays and click here to get the emails delivered directly to your inbox!)

Drawing from personal and professional experiences, current events and pop culture—with a healthy dose of music and movie references and often a clever or humorous twist—Kristina uses her unique, down-to-earth style to delve into universal themes and offer fresh perspectives on what it means to be human in the 21st century.

Relatable to any gender, age or background, Personal Growth Gab is a book to pick up when you need a little clarity, motivation or deeper connection to yourself on this journey called Life.

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Paradigm Shift NYC Presents “No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power” with Gloria Feldt, Feminist Icon

TWM is proud to be a Co-Sponsor of this Women's History Month event and honored that our founder, Kristina Leonardi will be one of the panelists.  Hope to see you on March 19th! 

Click here for more information and place to register.

The Wisdom of Childhood

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome Patricia as a guest blogger this week. 

Patricia Philippe is a Haitian-American writer, creative writing workshop facilitator and marketing consultant living in the Bronx. Currently she blogs about the journey of re-inventing herself after years as a caregiver and is working on a number of writing and teaching related projects.

When I reflect on my life, I notice that the common threads of curiosity, exploration, and courage have always been present. There’s a Polaroid from my childhood that I look at when I begin to wonder if I am being authentic. At about eight years old, my twin sister and I stand in front of a building with a pale yellow tiled façade. We pose shyly in our matching orange plaid coats. My head is tilted to the side, eyes lifted up to the sky, a classic Patricia is in the deep thought pose that my friends recognize even today. I imagine my eight-year-old self thinking there are issues in the world to solve, stories to make up, and new things to explore. Wondering what to do about the things my eyes witness but don’t understand how to fix.

After college, I signed up for the Peace Corps. Images of starving children beckoned me. Thoughts of teaching English enticed me. But I didn’t go. I was afraid. There was healing that needed to take place before I could be present in an inspiring way for anyone else.

Fast forward 20 years and you’ll meet me, a woman who feels like she’s walked a thousand miles in the desert with 100-degree sun scorching her naked flesh. She experimented. She learned. She thrived. After completing personal development programs about transformation, living authentically, healing from the past and choosing self-care, I consider that perhaps I have always known who I am.

My name is Patricia Philippe. I am a writer. A healer. A teacher. In September, I will volunteer with VoiceFlame in Malawi, Africa to lead writing groups for orphaned girls and village women. Writing my story has allowed me to channel the wisdom of that little girl who contemplated how to make silk thread from broken glass.

I found my voice through writing. The project in Malawi supports others in the discovery of their own strong, unique voices. Click here to learn more or to make a donation to sponsor me; I greatly appreciate your support.

Why I'm Feeling Lighter (And, Apparently, Looking Younger)

It seems to me that one of the hardest things to do is to be fully, confidently, unapologetically authentic in every area of your life. I have grappled with the question of who I am and how I express that to others my entire life. I spent most of that time holding back: not letting myself be too loud, too confident, too emotional, too honest, too whatever. I also didn't spend my time or money or energy in ways that inspired and fueled me; it didn't occur to me until a couple of years ago that how you spend your time and your money is how you spend your life.

Since then - and especially in the last few months - I have started to let that go. And, boy, do I feel lighter!

Instead of constantly wondering what the other person is thinking or how they'll react, I just speak my truth. And since I make a conscious effort to spend my time, money, and energy on what I feel is an expression of my authenticity instead of on what makes me feel "meh" or drained, I'm happier, calmer, and more centered. Whether it's a dance break, a manicure, or prioritizing a doctor's appointment, I fill my life as much as I can with what's true to me.

Just a couple of weeks ago, a friend I hadn't seen in a couple of months asked me what I was doing that had me looking so young and vibrant. I was so surprised, I didn't know what to say. "Um... I'm happier???"

Since experiencing this change in myself and in some of the women I know, I've become passionate with helping others reconnect with their authenticity and show up as all of who they are. I talk to so many women whose lives are compartmentalized, or who get blocked by fear and memories from the past when they try to express themselves.

I teamed up with a few friends who are also passionate about authentic expression to put together an all-day workshop/dance party. It's this Saturday in Brooklyn and I'm so excited, I could burst! It's going to be an inspiring, empowering, magical event. If you know you're ready to rediscover and celebrate your authenticity, join me!

Vision Quest

TWM's Visioning Workshop

When the Universe speaks, I listen. Not in a burning-bush-on-a-mountain kind of way, but through some combination of random Facebook postings, TV shows/commercials, signs both literal and figurative and people, known and unknown.  Always repetitive.

In fact, most of the time I try to think as little as possible, and instead pay very close attention to the world within and around me to get the answers/direction I need. I find that the best information we have often exists in this 3D experiential form more so than in the grey matter between our ears, and that there is much wisdom in receiving and perceiving what comes our way. (Plus it's more fun and takes less effort to operate like this!)

Anyway, after the stock market crashed, 'it' hinted to me in several ways that I should start some sort of group thing; when a third person, point blank raised his hand in my breakout session at an NYU symposium for laid-off financial professionals and asked "Can you put a group together?" I could no longer ignore the request. So exactly 5 years ago this month, Thursdays at Three was born and has been going strong without a break ever since - first weekly afternoons during the height of the recession, and then eventually bi-monthly with an evening session for folks who had found employment but asked to continue with coaching and support, and for others who wanted to make a career change or simply manage their work and life better.
 
It's been quite the journey - and one of the most rewarding and important things I've done to grow both personally and professionally. It has made me a far better coach and facilitator, so thank you to all have participated, especially those four brave souls who ventured out and trusted me that first day! (Click here for info about the next session)

As many of you know, my path has been a long and varied one. In January 2001 I founded a nonprofit organization called The Women's Mosaic (TWM) after a lot of soul searching and the result of a random workshop I picked from a Learning Annex catalog out of sheer desperation four months earlier. Among other things, that workshop was exactly what I needed to confirm and crystallize an idea that was floating around in my subconscious - 13 years,100 events, a coaching and speaking career later, the rest is history!

Of course when I told people how I started TWM, they all wanted to do the workshop, so we began offering it twice a year with amazing and profound results, attracting many repeat attendees with incredible stories throughout. The last one was in September 2012 and had been on indefinite hiatus since. But, the past month, after various signs, in combo with not one, not two, but then a third person within a few weeks asked me when we were doing another I knew it was time - which means that many of you out there need this experience and it's no coincidence that you are reading this right now!

I've already gone on too long in this PGG, so I will just let the video, invite and blog posts speak for themselves as well as these participant descriptions:

"TWM's Visioning Workshop is a great way to spark personal growth by getting in tune with your inner-most desires. By putting aside what you think you want for yourself, and, instead, going with your gut, it is amazing what you fill find! The Visioning Workshop came for me at a time when I was trying to decide where to go with my life, and I am so glad I did it. Throughout the workshop, I was forced to believe in what I was doing and trust myself completely, and since then I have been able to look back on my collage for more guidance, for which I am very grateful. I highly recommend the Visioning Workshop for anyone trying to answer the simplest or most complex questions for themselves." Sally M. 

"When I was doing my collage I was thinking about my future and about my job search...and it actually happened. I got a job in a fashion industry where everybody smiles and are very happy with their lives - as it was on my collage!!!! ...I cannot really believe that it actually worked for me so well and cannot wait to see what happens next!!! Thank you so much for this wonderful experience!" Joanna G. 

"I think of the collage I created at the Visioning Workshop as a map of my unconscious mind. At the time of the workshop, I was in a transitional phase and in need of guidance. The collage helped me to gain a sense of calm and clarity. I especially enjoyed taking a break from the intellectual, thinking side of my brain and opening up the side that is more intuitive. The visual representations of my thoughts and ideas gave me a sense of peace that I could move forward with confidence. I look forward to doing another collage soon. Suzanne G. 

"Great!  The workshop helped me to clarify what success looks like to me." Sheraun B

 Are you one of those folks who are supposed to be there on Saturday, April 26th?  You don't need some shamanic ceremony or 80's movie to help you decide.  Just listen to your Self, pay attention to the signs and heed the call to make some big changes in your life - this is simply a way to fast-track the process!

P.S. Yes, there are only women in the video, but men are most welcome to attend as well. You need some visioning, too!  :)

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The following was originally posted on April 8, 2014 on Kristina's blog. 

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a coach and speaker in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.  

You can follow her @clearlykristina and like her Personal Growth Gab (PGG) page on Facebook to get more thought-provoking, inspirational and motivational tidbits like this!

Starting the New Year with a New Dream

What is your dream for the world in 2014 and your part in it? Wisdom from the incredible 98 year old activist, author, philosopher and national treasure Grace Lee Boggs.

We are shaking the world with a new dream from Sacred Resonance on Vimeo.

Shake Your Groove Thing

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life coach, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth. The following was originally posted on November 28, 2012 on Kristina's blog.

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Do you have the discipline to be a free spirit? ~ Gabrielle Roth
 

In the movie Silver Linings Playbook, the main characters Pat and Tiffany are in training for a big dance competition that turns out to be much more than a fancy booty shaking contest.  A unique romantic dramedy, it's a film that shows there is a fine line between sanity and insanity, acceptable versus unacceptable behavior, and the beauty of living life to the beat of your own drum.

 

In the movie The Sessions, Mark O'Brien is confined to an iron lung 20 hours a day, existing on a gurney unable to move from the neck down, and yet he writes poetry, is a professional journalist and decides to hire a sex surrogate so he can experience the most human of experiences. We go along on his journey (based on a true story!) and find him to be one of the most alive, loving and liberated individuals to have ever lived despite such extreme physical limitations.

 

And as seen in the movie Lincoln, our 16th president is clearly not your Average Joe.  He was always thinking out of the box, used his quirky sense of humor to diffuse or illuminate situations, and took numerous risks throughout the most heart-wrenching circumstances our country has endured.  He stretched the Constitution to its limit, working within an established framework while implementing his own interpretation and/or bending the rules based on his hard-earned wisdom, keen observations and superior judgment as unprecedented needs arose and critical decisions had to be made in order for progress to occur.

 

In the conscious movement class I take, we are told to  'dance it your way' and have breaks of  'free dance'  where we boogie as we see fit; it's not chaotic because there is an organized structure and unity contained within the flow as we come back together intermittently as a group throughout the hour.  It's a super-small class because for many people, when given the opportunity to move and think for themselves, even for just a few moments, is a daunting and uncomfortable feeling; it's an empowering exercise that requires more effort and less inhibition, and many simply don't know what to do if they are not following the instructor. And that, my friends, is indicative of a larger problem with implications reaching much farther than a gym studio.

 

Spielberg's Lincoln asks, "Do you think we choose to be born? Or are we fitted to the times we're born into?"  As citizens of the 21st century, we are certainly living in extraordinary times that will require us to become the fullest and most unique beings we are meant to be.  We each have something that needs to be expressed, something that no other person on this planet, no one who has come before or will come after can express. Right now we need new ways of looking at old problems and to change old ways in order deal with new problems, so it's more important than ever for you to do your own thang, because there is no other way to generate inspiration and birth innovation.

 

In any era it's easy to get stuck in past habits and sucked into the zeitgeist of the day.  Resist the urge to follow the herd, fight to honor yourself, think and speak your own thoughts and begin to know and create yourself anew every moment of every day instead of getting swept up by social media, news, commercials, and even your peer groups, work and ethnic cultures or family and friends who are all, consciously or not, forces that can easily grab hold of your mind, body, spirit and/or bank account.  Don't let your physical characteristics, family roots or societal dictates squash all the rhythms inside you that might be quite different from what those outside influences might have you believe, say or do.

 

Not sure exactly what your groove thing is? Give me a buzz and I'll get you started with some basic choreography and point you in the right direction, because ultimately You Should Be Dancing your own steps throughout life, hopefully with a fun disco floor beneath your feet along the way!

Creative Flow

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome back Giovanna as a guest blogger:

Giovanna lives in New York City. Through her work experiences and
most recently through her studies, she has developed a passion for the
dynamic of work, the psychology behind it.


A creative mind is a happy mind. Researchers have found that, among other things, creativity increases job satisfaction, creates more positive emotions, and augments the overall wellbeing of a person. Henceforth, it should come as no surprise that people who are creative are happier than those who aren’t.

To attest to it, think about the times when you’ve been your most crafty: that time you whipped up pancakes from scratch or when you came up with that cool hack to save time in the morning before work. Chances are, you look back at those moments with fondness because creativity often comes from a positive place: love, impulse, curiosity.

Our history is full of artists, philosophers and mad geniuses whose ideas were so groundbreaking that they seem novel even today. However, lately it seems the world has lost that creative edge.

We live in a time where anything mainstream looks and sounds the same: the people next to you as you cross the street are wearing the same style, the song on the radio sounds exactly like the one you just heard, etc. It’s as if there are no new ideas anymore. And the shocking part is, most of us are O.K. with that. Many of us have become complacent with living our lives without creativity.

Researchers have even coined a term for it: creative bias; people want to be creative, yet reject creative ideas when they have them.

Sound familiar? It should, because we have all been guilty of this at one time or another. How many times have you thought about trying a new activity, for instance, yet brushed it off as implausible? How often have you wanted to try a new hairstyle but decided against it because you thought it would look ridiculous? We put so much restraint on our own thoughts, that we disregard any possibility of originality. It's as if we're afraid of the stigma that comes from thinking outside the box.

However, as much as we may try to suppress it, creativity needs to be expressed. Creativity is as much a part of being human as breathing; the challenge is learning to apply creativity to our everyday lives.

Creativity is said to come from the right hemisphere: the same side of the brain associated with images, emotions, color, music, expression, and intuition. That’s why musicians, artists and writers are often described as creative. Even so, you do not have to be the next Frida Kahlo or have a page on Etsy to be considered creative. Creativity is not just about making collages and writing sonnets, it’s about creating ideas! PsychologyToday defines creativity as the ability to generate new ideas, new connections between ideas and new ways to solve problems. In order to do this, you have to open your mind to a new way of thinking.

So next time you have a kooky idea - embrace it! Allow yourself to take a different cognitive approach to a given situation. Take inspiration from your environment, the people around you. Let go of mental hurdles you place on yourself and let the prospect of creativity sharpen your skills and abilities. Let it boost your resilience and satisfaction with life. Quiet the negative thoughts and let your creative mind flow!

TWM's Founder in Inspire Virtual Mag!

Check out TWM's Founder, Kristina Leonardi, who has several articles featured in this month's issue of the new international Inspire Magazine!

Based in South Africa, Inspire Virtual Mag looks at the modern woman, the woman who wants to find the balance between work, play and being. Content ranging from informative business and life style articles through to beauty, fashion, dcor and tech features is what makes Inspire Virtual Mag a unique and true something for everybody publication.
       

Download the magazine and read Kristina's articles on pages 16-17; 24-25; 118-119, 148-149            

www.inspiresa.co.za/                        

Check In With Us Before The Year Ends

Can you believe that 2012 is almost over? Why not share some of the goals you hope to meet by the end of the year with us by writing about it! It will help give you some perspective and you can get support and feedback from others who are working towards their own accomplishments. So think about it and submit a guest post when you're done! We would love to hear from you.

Not sure what you'd like to do next? Let TWM's Visioning Workshop help clarify those goals for you! You might be surprised as to what turns up... The next workshop is Saturday, September 29th - Get more info and RSVP by clicking here.

CHICKS ROCK! wants your feedback. Click here to take a survey now and let us know what you think!

What's Next for You?

You've read about our Visioning Workshops many times on CHICKS ROCK! all these years, but now we've got a video to give you an inside look!

TWM's Visioning Workshops are a great way to spend some quality time with yourself to reflect on who you are and what you want in life right now. You can read about Kekla, Pauline and Sally's and other guest bloggers Visioning Workshop experiences here.

The next workshop is coming up on Saturday, September 29th from 11:30am-5:30pm -
CLICK HERE for the invite and a place to RSVP.  Hope to see you then!

Politics Schmolitics 2012*

This piece was originally posted on December 14, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

Like many other Americans, I want to be more enthusiastic about the upcoming 2012 U.S. presidential election. I cannot muster enough enthusiasm at this time, because
This piece was originally posted on December 14, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

I am not happy with those who are currently taking the lead. Politics has always frustrated me, but I think I feel it now more than ever because of how our economy continues to suffer, and will apparently continue to do so for a few more years, at least. Major reforms, from global to local private and public entities to prevent similar economic downfalls, have yet to be implemented in most cases. Apparently the recession is over, but I have heard and can feel for myself that we as a country are still struggling, and may never be the same again. How do I get myself excited for the national race if both candidates leave a less than stellar impression on me?

I think one way to start is to look beyond the two candidates from the two main political parties to recognize and research those lesser known or completely unknown people who are running for public office. I would like to think that one day, we as a nation would elect someone as president who is not a Democrat or a Republican in our lifetimes. I wish it could be easier to learn more about lesser known candidates, so we can know as much as we can about those running for office from their records, apart from meeting them in person. All of my other suggestions have to do with taking initiative, and for it not to be overwhelming to do so.

I hope The Women’s Mosaic will host another Politics Schmolitics event to mark the 2012 races. It would be a great way to engage those interested in learning more and to possibly be more active in public life themselves. I also love the name "Politics Schmolitics," and would love to be a part of a new TWM event with that same name again.

What are your thoughts on politics?

Surviving Narcissistic Personality Disorder

We all know at least one narcissist, whether we are aware of it or not. I am educating myself about narcissistic personality disorder, also known as NPD, because a member of my family has it. I always knew there was something seriously wrong in my interactions with this person, but I did not understand what it was. Now that I know, I feel liberated; knowledge really is power.

A narcissist is someone who lacks empathy for other people; the individual knows the difference between right and wrong, but the ego always prevails. This particular family member of mine is (and always was) self-serving to a fault. I cannot imagine ever having a meaningful relationship with him in the future, because we never had one to begin with. This person has repeatedly said he does not care if my other family members and I ever speak to him again, because he believes he is right and the rest of us are wrong. Now that I recognize this as one of the symptoms of NPD, his behavior is at last de-mystified for me. I always knew that trying to reason with this individual was a waste of time, but now understanding that most narcissists like him never seek treatment because they don’t recognize the problem releases me from any residual guilt I had about our non-existent relationship.

I would suggest to anyone curious about NPD and certain people in their lives (a boss, friend, family member, spouse, or significant other) to use the Internet as your initial guide. Mayo Clinic’s website sums up the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder best, in my opinion. If you want to go further, then I recommend The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family, by Eleanor D. Payson, M.S.W. Of the many books I have come across about NPD, I find that this one explains the disorder with the most clarity.

Do you know or think you know anyone with NPD?

Lucky Charms

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.

A rabbit's foot, four-leaf clover or that certain pair of underwear - we all have things in our life that we consider good luck charms. Objects that we hold near and dear to serve the purpose of bringing us a little special magic in whatever scenario we need it.

But what about your inner charms, the things that make you YOU, those little quirks, sayings and even physical characteristics that come together in a combination uniquely yours? That is where your true luck lies, and by using them and trusting where they take you, doors that were previously closed can start to miraculously open.

We spend more time and energy than we realize trying to fit in and conform to certain standards of acceptance. Whether it be in our work, family, relationships, appearance or lifestyle, most people bury to varying degrees the very substance that will make them the most appreciated and successful. So if things aren't going your way right now, why not 'let your freak flag fly' and see what happens?

Project Unbreakable

We recently celebrated International Women's Day, which in my mind brings forth lots of positive thoughts, about equality and progress, change and growth, and the increasingly celebrated presence of women's voices in the world. Today I am reminded that regardless of how far we've come, there are still miles left to travel.

I stumbled upon an indiegogo campaign for photographer Grace Brown's project Unbreakable, which sheds light on and gives voice to some of the silence associated with sexual assault. The project started when she began photographing survivors of sexual assault holding up signs bearing quotes from their attackers. Some chose to hold the signs in front of their faces, others chose to hold it across their chest, but regardless, it is chilling to watch them display the words of their attackers--words these women will likely never forget. The video about the project (WATCH IT HERE) is visually powerful, sometimes shocking, and very moving.

This is, of course, not exclusively a women's issue--many men experience sexual assault and are survivors too, and in fact there is an even greater silence around those crimes. part of what intrigues me about this project is the specific focus on words of the attackers. It lends a new layer of humanity to discussions of what it means to be a "victim" or a "survivor" and what you really have to carry and what it takes to heal. It makes me simultaneously upset and inspired--proud, too, of people who can take words of shame and turn them into a banner for survival.

Thinking and talking about these issues saddens me deeply, but I am far more saddened by the knowledge that there are hundreds, if not thousands, if not millions of survivors out there who are still afraid to speak. I feel inspired by project Unbreakable, and by the millions of survivors who ARE speaking out and finding healing on the process.

Will you watch the video? What do you think about this project?

My TWM Experience*

The following was originally posted on January 26, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Holiday series.


I first learned about The Women’s Mosaic back in 2007. My sister and I attended a conference where we heard Kristina Leonardi speak about her journey to the creation of the non-profit organization, which I remember being impressed by. I talked to Kristina afterwards to ask more questions about TWM and her experiences. After a year in Indonesia, I was wondering about my own journey; I still am of course. I find myself enriched by the opportunities and experiences I have had through TWM.

Before teaching abroad in Indonesia, I was convinced that I would never be much of a public speaker. I challenged myself when I went abroad to teach, because having command of a classroom is no easy feat. I learned to speak with conviction to help my students understand their lessons, which I treasure to this day. When I returned to the U.S. and got involved with The Women’s Mosaic, I continued to use my voice in different ways. I attended a few college career fairs as a TWM representative and talked to those interested in internships for college credit. I think I did a good job promoting the organization and its many cultural and educational benefits. I enjoyed talking about something I believed in, and I think it showed; it still shows today.

There have been various TWM events and programs I have enjoyed being a part of, but being a CHICKS ROCK! Blogger has definitely been the most significant. Every week, Kekla, Sally, and I share our thoughts and experiences, as do our guest bloggers and Kristina herself on occasion. I enjoy connecting with TWM and non-TWM members on the blog most of all.

It has been quite a decade for The Women’s Mosaic! I look forward to what the future will bring to the organization.

Life Lessons at a Media Conference*

The following was originally posted on March 29, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Holiday series.


This past weekend was a great one for media-making and activist women as it was the WAM! It Yourself mini-conference in select cities around the world. Here in New York, it was a fun-filled weekend with a happy hour Friday night, a conference Saturday, and a brunch on Sunday. For the second year in a row, I spoke on a panel for the Saturday conference and it was great to be back in a space with women (and a few men) committed to learning from each other and helping each other out.

The panels were about writing, media, and activism, but there were a few lessons that came out of the day and that still echo in my mind days later.

The first lesson came up a few times on the social media and activism panel I was on, and was repeated by several others (who weren't even at that workshop): use your authentic voice. Whether it's in the way you use social media or in your writing, being yourself and being authentic makes it easier to stand up for your feelings and beliefs when they're challenged, as they inevitably will be, and puts your real truth out there. It's harder to back up what you don't believe in, so why bother?

Another lesson is in the power of social media. As Deanna Zandt said in her closing keynote "technology will not solve our problems, we will solve our problems but we can use technology to do that." People are using social media every day to spark movements, stand up for their rights and the rights of others, and make people's lives just a bit better.

And the last lesson is that we can all be leaders and change-makers. In many ways, a lot of us are doing it already, we just don't give ourselves the credit.

Okay, so the lessons are not new, but it doesn't make them any less meaningful.

What lessons have you learned or been reminded of recently?

Politics Schmolitics 2012

Like many other Americans, I want to be more enthusiastic about the upcoming 2012 U.S. presidential election. I cannot muster enough enthusiasm at this time, because I am not happy with those who are currently taking the lead. Politics has always frustrated me, but I think I feel it now more than ever because of how our economy continues to suffer, and will apparently continue to do so for a few more years, at least. Major reforms, from global to local private and public entities to prevent similar economic downfalls, have yet to be implemented in most cases. Apparently the recession is over, but I have heard and can feel for myself that we as a country are still struggling, and may never be the same again. How do I get myself excited for the national race if both candidates leave a less than stellar impression on me?

I think one way to start is to look beyond the two candidates from the two main political parties to recognize and research those lesser known or completely unknown people who are running for public office. I would like to think that one day, we as a nation would elect someone as president who is not a Democrat or a Republican in our lifetimes. I wish it could be easier to learn more about lesser known candidates, so we can know as much as we can about those running for office from their records, apart from meeting them in person. All of my other suggestions have to do with taking initiative, and for it not to be overwhelming to do so.

I hope The Women’s Mosaic will host another Politics Schmolitics event to mark the 2012 races. It would be a great way to engage those interested in learning more and to possibly be more active in public life themselves. I also love the name "Politics Schmolitics," and would love to be a part of a new TWM event with that same name again.

What are your thoughts on politics?

Lessons Learned While Blogging

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes back Diana as a guest blogger who let us interview her last week about her newfound passion for blogging. Here's the second part of her interview:

Diana enjoys transforming ordinary recipes into guilt-free, healthful meals that bring pleasure to the palate. She shares her latest ideas, inspirations, reviews, interviews, and plenty of food for thought on her food blog, Between the Tines.

What have you learned while blogging?

So many things have come to the surface for me, personally, as a result of writing this blog. Because of all the research I have to do before writing, I’ve become very aware of not only the wonderful aspects of food, but the issues and problems in and around food as well. For example:

1) I became painfully aware that childhood obesity is an overwhelming issue in this country and that it leads to life-long health problems.
2) The hunger crisis here and throughout the world today is out of control and is simply unacceptable.
3) The rampant spread of food-borne illness is distressing. I’m also a Certified Food Safety Manager. The training was very intense with emphasis on how food gets contaminated and that we really can prevent most of it.
4) That government and corporate America work hand-in-hand and are immersed in the food industry and driven by profit, not what’s healthiest for people. From genetically modified foods to hormone-treated cattle, have we considered the long-term effects of this and why are we allowing this to happen?
5) On the lighter side, I’ve realized that I need to go to culinary school at some point. I’m working on giving myself permission to do that right now.

What is one thing that has surprised you about blogging?

People actually follow me and subscribe!

I like to write from somewhat of a humorous, sarcastic perspective and I try bringing attention to things that need to be said but that aren’t being said without being particularly defamatory. I believe this humorous, sarcastic approach contributes to the fact that people enjoy reading my posts. I’ve had some great feedback. When I hear someone tell me that they look forward to my next blog, or that it has given them a laugh or two means a lot to me.

I’ve recently been invited to be a contributor to two additional food blogs, so I know I’m doing something right!

One is The Feed and the other is Bromography, both of which I’m very excited about.

What do you hope readers take away from what you write about?

I hope readers learn about eating well and eating healthy. I hope readers learn about some of the pressing issues in and around food and the food industry. I hope my blog makes people laugh while providing a little insight.