You Say You Want a Revolution

The following was originally posted on December 11, 2013 on Kristina's blog.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a coach and speaker in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.  

You can follow her @clearlykristina and like her Personal Growth Gab (PGG) page on Facebook to get more thought-provoking, inspirational and motivational tidbits like this!

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In memory of Grace Lee Boggs June 27, 1915 - October 5, 2015

One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others .~ Nelson Mandela

Revolution is the evolution of humans into a higher humanity . ~ Grace Lee Boggs
                 

Those of you who know me or have been reading PGG for a while are aware that my passion and mission in life has always been to contribute to world peace, mostly through my work best expressed in my mantra that personal transformation is the key to social transformation.

So it should come as no surprise that I profoundly relate to and revere the lives of these two nonagenarians, Nelson Mandela who died last week at age 95, and the 98-year-old activist and author Grace Lee Boggs.  They literally embody this philosophy in every cell of their beings; they have demonstrated it externally with their activism and sacrifice for racial equality and social justice, and internally by the wisdom they have gained and generously share from nearly a century of experience, observation, and, most importantly, reflection.
  

Both started out as 'radicals', and were branded as terrorists with the requisite FBI/CIA files (Mandela was even on the US terrorism watch list until 2008!) because they initially saw the only way to overthrow the entrenched power structure was by employing the more literal and sometimes violent tactics of revolution through organized movements and a spirit of rebellion. But through trial and error, incarceration, and maturity, they eventually evolved; they gave themselves permission to change their minds, learn and grow in light of new information, experimentation and once again, reflection - ultimately coming to the conclusion that in order to change the world, they would have to change themselves.

They came to understand that indeed humanity is made up of humans and that humans were going to have to deal with other humans in order to get anything done. So we'd better be the best we can be as individuals and try to get along and get past our differences and disagreements, because the reality is that we must co-exist harmoniously - whether in a racially divided African country, a rundown bankrupt American city, or in your very own household.

We are living in extraordinary times, and it is no accident that you are who you are at this moment in history.

What does your humanity mean to you?  As our world continues to go through turbulent changes and upheavals, it will be up to us individually and collectively to do our part to 'tear down' where necessary and rebuild a more enlightened society that reflects our evolved humanity.  But we have to start with ourselves and do what we can in our immediate environments to demonstrate our own revolution - which, by the way, does not happen overnight or with a magic pill, silver bullet, or special app.

Only through keen observation, deep reflection, and inner and outer sweating effort and energy over a long period of time directed towards improving ourselves and serving others that true transformation can take place. Then, if we're lucky, by the time we reach our 90's we can look back and see how our journey has positively and productively unfolded in both a personal and political way, and be proud of what we accomplished and the legacy we will leave behind.

Wondering how it will all go down if you take up the cause? Give me a buzz and I will incite a riot in your heart to make the most of what you got, so at the end of the day you know it's gonna be alright!

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I am so grateful to have learned about and met Grace Lee Boggs just two years ago. 
She passed away yesterday at the age of 100. 

 Everyone should experience her wisdom and humanity so be sure 

check out the documentary or watch the many videos 

of her that can be found online. She is a national treasure who will be greatly missed, but whose legacy will live on in all the lives she touched.

PGG: The Book! A great read from TWM's Founder Kristina Leonardi

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to announce that Kristina Leonardi,  founder of The Women’s Mosaic just published her first book!  Be sure to check out: PersonalGrowth Gab (PGG), Volume One: Thought-provoking, inspirational and entertainingessays to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journeycalled Life  on Amazon!

Kristina is a career/life/executive coach and motivational speaker in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.   You can follow her @clearlykristina and like her Personal Growth Gab (PGG) page on Facebook to learn more or click on her name on the tags from this blog to read several of her posts!

CLICK HERE FOR OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT EXCERPTED BELOW

If you are on my mailing list you've being finding a PGG in your inbox every week for a while now, and have stuck with me this far as I've discovered my voice and put my thoughts and observations out there in a creative way. My intention has always been to provide a unique perspective about life and bring some reflection, hope and meaning to your day. Thank you for reading them! 

I've sent out more than 131 original essays over the past five years (oh yes, there were more but they were re-runs!) and because I've received such positive feedback about how they help motivate, inspire and make you think, I thought why not put them together in a beautiful book for you to access at any time?

It took a while to get it all together but I'm proud to announce it's finally here!  I'll be promoting this baby in multiple ways these next couple weeks (well, forever), but for now I just wanted to let you know you can get a copy of Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One: Thought-provoking, inspirational, entertaining essays to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journey called Life in your hot little hands today!

I sincerely hope you enjoy the book - please let me know what you think by sending me an email, posting on Facebook, tweeting about it, and/or writing an Amazon Review.

Kristina

P.S.  If you're a fan, I would love if you could let your friends know about the book using the social media icons on the top of this email or from the Amazon page.  Thank you thank you!
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NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON!

If you are seeking how to get centered in who you are and what you want, read this book!

Brimming with insight, compassion, and humor, this collection of essays offers encouragement to anyone seeking to grow in harmony with their true nature, and to discover a genuine path toward positive change in the world, starting with themselves.

A great way to go to bed on a positive note and wake up with a refreshing message. Definitely one I’m keeping on my night stand!

Each essay is punchy and profound.

Personal Growth Gab (PGG), Volume One: Thought-provoking, inspirational and entertaining essays to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journey called Life is a compilation of nearly five years of essays that both stimulate and address the questions of who we are, where we are going and how we can get there in today’s rapidly changing, fast-paced world.

Kristina began PGG as a weekly email and blog in January 2010, but an avid, faithful and growing group of readers led her to compile these 131 nuggets of wisdom and advice into a beautifully designed and practically organized book. (You can visit the home page of this website for sample essays and click here to get the emails delivered directly to your inbox!)

Drawing from personal and professional experiences, current events and pop culture—with a healthy dose of music and movie references and often a clever or humorous twist—Kristina uses her unique, down-to-earth style to delve into universal themes and offer fresh perspectives on what it means to be human in the 21st century.

Relatable to any gender, age or background, Personal Growth Gab is a book to pick up when you need a little clarity, motivation or deeper connection to yourself on this journey called Life.

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Paradigm Shift NYC Presents “No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power” with Gloria Feldt, Feminist Icon

TWM is proud to be a Co-Sponsor of this Women's History Month event and honored that our founder, Kristina Leonardi will be one of the panelists.  Hope to see you on March 19th! 

Click here for more information and place to register.

At Your Service

The following was originally posted on January 18, 2011 on Kristina's blog.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a coach and speaker in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.  

You can follow her @clearlykristina and like her Personal Growth Gab (PGG) page on Facebook to get more thought-provoking, inspirational and motivational tidbits like this!

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“Life’s most urgent question is: What are you doing for others?”  Martin Luther King, Jr.

One of the most common desires I hear from clients when embarking on a new career or making a transition is that they want to be doing something with meaning, something that helps people.
My approach is to ask them,  “What is the thing that makes you, you? What you are passionate about; when do you lose track of time?” I inquire as to what their fantasy job would be, and very rarely does that answer have to do with becoming a social worker or joining the Peace Corps.

You don’t have to become the next Mother Teresa, Gandhi or MLK to make a difference and live your life in service to others. Perhaps that may be your path, but as Dr. King also said, “Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.” Running for public office or volunteering on a regular basis can certainly fill that role, but service can be expressed in a myriad of forms that aren’t always so obvious or grandiose. Just being yourself and doing your best at YOU allows us to benefit from whatever unique gifts and talents you possess.

When one’s work is done with love and integrity, every job is one of service. MLK day is also about celebrating diversity, which can refer to many things including occupation.  We all have jobs that make the world go round. Whether it’s the super taking care of your building, the bus driver making sure you get to your destination safely, the guy who makes your coffee and bagel every morning, the janitor that cleans the public restrooms you use, the designer of the clothes you are wearing, the comedian that made you laugh last night, the singer whose song you enjoyed on your Ipod, writer whose novel you devoured over the weekend – no occupation is too insignificant, as long as it is done to the best of one’s ability, you can see how any of those people have served you on some level.

And regardless of your job, there is also the service you can provide by smiling at someone when you’re walking down the street, or showing a kindness to a stranger, and notice how for moment you made someone happy or uplifted them in some way.

The thing that I enjoy most and lose track of time doing is talking to folks about their life’s work and helping them make their everyday existence as meaningful and peaceful as possible. I would love the opportunity to help you connect the dots of your life, create more work/life balance and recognize the value in whatever you do,  so just give me a buzz as I am always here, at your service!

The Wisdom of Childhood

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome Patricia as a guest blogger this week. 

Patricia Philippe is a Haitian-American writer, creative writing workshop facilitator and marketing consultant living in the Bronx. Currently she blogs about the journey of re-inventing herself after years as a caregiver and is working on a number of writing and teaching related projects.

When I reflect on my life, I notice that the common threads of curiosity, exploration, and courage have always been present. There’s a Polaroid from my childhood that I look at when I begin to wonder if I am being authentic. At about eight years old, my twin sister and I stand in front of a building with a pale yellow tiled façade. We pose shyly in our matching orange plaid coats. My head is tilted to the side, eyes lifted up to the sky, a classic Patricia is in the deep thought pose that my friends recognize even today. I imagine my eight-year-old self thinking there are issues in the world to solve, stories to make up, and new things to explore. Wondering what to do about the things my eyes witness but don’t understand how to fix.

After college, I signed up for the Peace Corps. Images of starving children beckoned me. Thoughts of teaching English enticed me. But I didn’t go. I was afraid. There was healing that needed to take place before I could be present in an inspiring way for anyone else.

Fast forward 20 years and you’ll meet me, a woman who feels like she’s walked a thousand miles in the desert with 100-degree sun scorching her naked flesh. She experimented. She learned. She thrived. After completing personal development programs about transformation, living authentically, healing from the past and choosing self-care, I consider that perhaps I have always known who I am.

My name is Patricia Philippe. I am a writer. A healer. A teacher. In September, I will volunteer with VoiceFlame in Malawi, Africa to lead writing groups for orphaned girls and village women. Writing my story has allowed me to channel the wisdom of that little girl who contemplated how to make silk thread from broken glass.

I found my voice through writing. The project in Malawi supports others in the discovery of their own strong, unique voices. Click here to learn more or to make a donation to sponsor me; I greatly appreciate your support.

For The Love Of Her Brother

For the past several weeks, my Mom's older brother has been very ill, and after a lot of debate, she finally decided to fly to Kerala, India to see him today. The reason for the back and forth is because she undergoes injections once a week to treat her many allergies, which include dust and other airborne allergens. My Uncle has the same type of condition, and never had injections or any other similar treatment; this most likely contributed to his current condition. Mom told me that when she visited him last fall, both of them coughed so much that they sometimes did so in unison; one of their hired drivers even commented on this during a day trip he accompanied them on. Now, my Uncle is in the hospital, and my Mom is risking some of the progress she has made with her health so far to visit him in India, especially during the monsoon season. I know that she must go see him now, in spite of the obstacles.

Mom has always told me that her older brother helped and guided her when their own parents were unable to do so. He has a wonderful combination of compassion and intelligence, which my Mom and so many other people admire and respect him for. When they were younger, my Mom and her older brother were lucky enough to live together when they had to move to their uncle's house. Living in that environment was very difficult, but they relied on each other for support, love and friendship, especially during their darkest days. Mom remembers him walking hand in hand with her to church when she was three and a half years old, playing hide and seek in a rubber tree forest when she was six, and standing up to their father when she wanted to become a nurse (rather than a nun or a wife) at the age of seventeen. My Uncle is more than just her older brother; he is her hero, advocate, and dearest friend. I really admire their relationship, because it is special and beautiful.

My Uncle has always had a talent for writing, which is where I think I got my interest from. There is definitely something to be said about hereditary influences, especially since I don't know him as well as I would like to. The few times I have been lucky enough to visit him were great, because he is one of a handful of relatives from my parents' generation who speaks English very well. When I met him as an adult, I noticed how his eyes would light up every time he talked about my Mom, or was in her presence. They have had some ups and downs of course, but the love and respect they have for one another is stronger and more deep-rooted. Thousands of miles have kept them physically apart for long periods of time, but their relationship remains in tact. So while I am a little concerned about my Mom going to India because of her health issues, I know that there is no way she can stay away from her brother during his present crisis. He is a lovely human being with a great intellect, who also happens to be one of my Mom's greatest influences. For that, and so many other things, I am forever grateful.

Starting the New Year with a New Dream

What is your dream for the world in 2014 and your part in it? Wisdom from the incredible 98 year old activist, author, philosopher and national treasure Grace Lee Boggs.

We are shaking the world with a new dream from Sacred Resonance on Vimeo.

Check out Personal Growth Gab on Facebook!

 Looking for a little inspiration and motivation in 2014 and beyond?

Personal Growth Gab (PGG) is a weekly dose of thought-provoking, inspirational and entertaining helpful tidbits to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journey called life hosted by TWM founder, career/life coach and speaker Kristina Leonardi and can now be found on Facebook!

 

Since launching Personal Growth Gab (PGG) in January 2010, Kristina has formed an avid and faithful following ("they're the only emails I read" "they really help me" "they help me start my week" "I save them until I get home and can read them with a cup of tea" "you're such a good writer!" ) of over 1500 who look forward to a 'weekly dose of thought-provoking, inspirational and unique entertaining helpful tidbits to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journey called life.

The Facebook page is brand new but all past PGG posts can be found on the home page at www.kristinaleonardi.com

Kristina Leonardi is a career/life coach who has a proven record of getting "stuck" clients empowered to make changes aligned with their true passions and talents in a short time. She provides a practical framework for each individual to make the most of their personal and professional lives, allowing them to recognize, connect to, and fulfill their role in the world at large and live a life with clarity, balance and direction.  Click here for more information and contact her today for a session.

For more information and get added to her mailing list visit www.kristinaleonardi.com

For a recent eNewsletter click here.
Follow her on Twitter www.twitter.com/clearlykristina
 

Feeling the Legacy of Nelson Mandela

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life coach, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.

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One of the most significant trips and greatest adventures of my life was when as a result of a TWM Visioning Workshop,  I travelled to South Africa by myself as a delegate from The Women's Mosaic to attend the UN Conference on Racism in Durban, August 2001

 

I first went to Cape Town where I took the public ferry (with Chris Tucker who also happened to be on it - random) out to Robben Island where I was deeply moved learning about Mandela's time there as a prisoner, and understood even more profoundly what an amazing human being he is.  

 

 

But the true testament I believe to his legacy was that just about wherever I went, (which was still very early in the new South Africa) and whoever I interacted with - no matter what their race - was incredibly warm, open and I felt carried within them the spark of light that Mandela so wisely and compassionately lit in his nation's people to work towards reconciliation, tolerance and ultimately, unity. 

 

It is a very special country because of the presence and work of two of humanity's greatest leaders, first a young Mohandas K. Gandhi, and then a wise and evolved Nelson Mandela.

 

All Roads: Same Place

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life coach, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.

The following was originally posted on September 25, 2013 on Kristina's blog.

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September is always an exciting time of year for me as world leaders convene on the island of Manhattan for the United Nations General Assembly and the Clinton Global Initiative.

Many of you know my degree is in International Relations. Early on I was a passionate student of languages and cultures, got bit by the travel bug at age 12 after a trip to Spain, Portugal and Morocco with my grandmother; by senior year in high school I was studying Spanish, French and Italian (foregoing chemistry and physics..), Mandarin Chinese freshman year in college, organized international student orientations, studied abroad my third year…you get the picture.

My dream was to one day work for the UN, as my intention and mission in life was to contribute to world peace (I simply didn’t understand why people and countries couldn’t get along just because of race, religion or anything else), so that was a seemingly logical goal. Who grows up wanting to be a career/life coach? Like so many professions today, that didn’t even exist when I was a kid! Ah, but the Universe has a funny way of working things out.

Once I discovered that being employed by the UN did not ultimately fit my skill set or desired environment, I set out to create my own international experiences - teaching middle and high school Spanish, working and traveling with an upscale educational tour operator, teaching Tourism Destinations & Cultures for NYU, and founding my own mini-version of the UN called The Women’s Mosaic, bringing together women from different cultures and backgrounds to learn from and be inspired by one another.

As a result of that creation, I got hooked into the UN, met several times and received praise from Kofi Annan, have attended many of their conferences (I still get verklempt when I am in the auditorium wearing an earpiece…), and before any of this, without consciously trying, ended up living in the very neighborhood where the UN’s headquarters is situated – so for my entire adult life I have been surrounded by diplomats and their missions, sharing my coffee shop, gym and grocery store with them 24/7.

Fast forward to more recently, as my interest and passion for personal growth, empowerment and healing along with my ability to relate to just about anyone, combined with x-ray vision, supersonic hearing, and broad knowledge base of industries, careers and other resources have combined to make me into this very interesting and profoundly effective person I will call a career/life coach for lack of a better title….and I have been helping people professionally in this capacity for over six years.

Last week I had a big ah-ha moment after a Skype session with a new client in Hungary who had attended one of my talks while here on holiday. Although that was only my second international call, I realized just how diverse and, yes, global my clientele is! I have worked with well over a hundred people from all backgrounds – whether foreign nationals here visiting or working temporarily, or folks that were not born here but came as children or adults to live. They hail from Macedonia, Italy, Puerto Rico, Mexico, New Zealand, Dominican Republic, China, Taiwan, Nigeria, Canada, Australia, El Salvador, Russia, Japan, Philippines, and Israel as well as embody the many diverse ethnicities and religions found here; African-American, Haitian, Indian, Persian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Quaker, and so much more; many of my clients have accents, as English is their second or third language! So DUH, here I am using my degree in ‘International Relations’ yet once again, simply in another form. Pretty cool, huh?

I share all of this not just to illustrate how the thread of my interests and passions have run through everything I do, but also for this: My work with individuals only confirms my theories, thoughts and ideals about countries and humanity as a whole. The more I learn and observe intimately the intricacies of all these seemingly different folks’ journeys and backgrounds, the more I see the hard evidence of how we are all wired as humans with the same desires, dreams, hopes and challenges – no matter what corner of the globe you are from we have far more in common than you can imagine.

Think you’re so special? You are. You have a uniqueness that you bring to this planet. But you are also made of the same stuff as that guy or gal is sitting next to you on the subway, or across the ocean. And because of things like technology and climate change, we are more interconnected than ever. So this week take a moment to expand your horizons - who can you learn about, chat with or help in some way that is out of your normal sphere of influence? How can you Imagine your world for the better? What can you do to think globally but act locally?

Not sure what is the micro in your life that will affect the macro? Give me a buzz and we’ll translate the language of your soul to see how it will weave into the tapestry of history and become that much needed piece of the peace puzzle we are all a part of, no matter who you are or where you come from.

FINAL WEEK: Be sure to take advantage of my special Back to School September discount offer!

My Vegan Challenge

For almost two weeks now, I have been existing on a vegan diet. Why? Well, I have a variety of reasons for making the change, all of which stem from my wanting to avoid prescription drugs with side effects that can be worse than the actual ailments. After doing extensive research for several months, I decided to take the plunge by trying out the vegan lifestyle for at least one month. So far, I am not missing animal products of any kind.

My vegan challenge includes omitting all oil as well, which has been a big hurdle for me. When eating salads at home or in restaurants, I always chose oil and vinegar as my regular dressing; now I make my oil free options at home, and avoid eating meals out. I still go to cafés armed with my laptop, but now I make sure to eat before I go so I am not tempted to buy pastries or savory items to accompany my herbal tea drinks, which I order iced during these scorching hot summer days.

Making sure not to munch on anything three hours before bedtime has also been difficult; I love snacking whenever I can, so I make sure to stay hydrated and eat filling, nutritious food throughout the day to avoid succumbing to my cravings at night. My reliance on a variety of vegetables, fruits, beans, nuts, rice, oats, and other healthy starches make me feel lighter, even though my main goal isn't weight loss. All I want is overall good health, and I think I am on the right track.

Depending on how things go during the month, I may decide to stay a vegan. To make it work, I have to plan ahead and maintain discipline. I tend to be disorganized and lazy, so the long term challenge will be to change these bad habits to make veganism work for me. It is definitely not going to be easy, but I will continue to try to make it work.

Good luck to all of you out there who are trying to make positive lifestyle changes!

Creative Flow

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome back Giovanna as a guest blogger:

Giovanna lives in New York City. Through her work experiences and
most recently through her studies, she has developed a passion for the
dynamic of work, the psychology behind it.


A creative mind is a happy mind. Researchers have found that, among other things, creativity increases job satisfaction, creates more positive emotions, and augments the overall wellbeing of a person. Henceforth, it should come as no surprise that people who are creative are happier than those who aren’t.

To attest to it, think about the times when you’ve been your most crafty: that time you whipped up pancakes from scratch or when you came up with that cool hack to save time in the morning before work. Chances are, you look back at those moments with fondness because creativity often comes from a positive place: love, impulse, curiosity.

Our history is full of artists, philosophers and mad geniuses whose ideas were so groundbreaking that they seem novel even today. However, lately it seems the world has lost that creative edge.

We live in a time where anything mainstream looks and sounds the same: the people next to you as you cross the street are wearing the same style, the song on the radio sounds exactly like the one you just heard, etc. It’s as if there are no new ideas anymore. And the shocking part is, most of us are O.K. with that. Many of us have become complacent with living our lives without creativity.

Researchers have even coined a term for it: creative bias; people want to be creative, yet reject creative ideas when they have them.

Sound familiar? It should, because we have all been guilty of this at one time or another. How many times have you thought about trying a new activity, for instance, yet brushed it off as implausible? How often have you wanted to try a new hairstyle but decided against it because you thought it would look ridiculous? We put so much restraint on our own thoughts, that we disregard any possibility of originality. It's as if we're afraid of the stigma that comes from thinking outside the box.

However, as much as we may try to suppress it, creativity needs to be expressed. Creativity is as much a part of being human as breathing; the challenge is learning to apply creativity to our everyday lives.

Creativity is said to come from the right hemisphere: the same side of the brain associated with images, emotions, color, music, expression, and intuition. That’s why musicians, artists and writers are often described as creative. Even so, you do not have to be the next Frida Kahlo or have a page on Etsy to be considered creative. Creativity is not just about making collages and writing sonnets, it’s about creating ideas! PsychologyToday defines creativity as the ability to generate new ideas, new connections between ideas and new ways to solve problems. In order to do this, you have to open your mind to a new way of thinking.

So next time you have a kooky idea - embrace it! Allow yourself to take a different cognitive approach to a given situation. Take inspiration from your environment, the people around you. Let go of mental hurdles you place on yourself and let the prospect of creativity sharpen your skills and abilities. Let it boost your resilience and satisfaction with life. Quiet the negative thoughts and let your creative mind flow!

TWM's Founder in Inspire Virtual Mag!

Check out TWM's Founder, Kristina Leonardi, who has several articles featured in this month's issue of the new international Inspire Magazine!

Based in South Africa, Inspire Virtual Mag looks at the modern woman, the woman who wants to find the balance between work, play and being. Content ranging from informative business and life style articles through to beauty, fashion, dcor and tech features is what makes Inspire Virtual Mag a unique and true something for everybody publication.
       

Download the magazine and read Kristina's articles on pages 16-17; 24-25; 118-119, 148-149            

www.inspiresa.co.za/                        

Remembering Uncle

It started off as a normal day this Monday, April 29. I was working on my computer when I started getting messages from my best friend, telling me that her father was not doing well. He had serious medical issues for years, and had just come back from the hospital several weeks earlier after suffering a heart attack and other complications. I thought at first the outcome of this visit would be the same as the last time; he would be released under my best friend’s supervision and return to his home in Delhi. But the messages became more troubling, and then finally, I got word that he was no more. I remember staring at my phone for at least a minute, in shock at first, and then remembering.

Dev Uncle was my best friend’s father and family friend. I just called him “Uncle” (never Dev) as I did other men in my family and friend circles in the Indian community from the older generations. Of all the other people in my life, I felt that he was more of an uncle to me than most of my blood-related uncles. I met him almost 16 years ago when I first started becoming friends with his daughter. From the beginning, I was struck by how kind and gentle he was with me. He genuinely liked me as his daughter’s friend, and then like an honorary niece or other younger family member. When I went to visit my best friend, I always looked forward to seeing Uncle, even if it was for just a few minutes, because I had no positive father figure to speak of up until that point. Being in his presence was like a comforting balm on my soul at a time when I desperately needed it.

To tell the truth, I knew just the basic facts of Uncle’s life. I knew he was an engineer with a successful career in New Jersey, and was able to travel to many countries during his lifetime. I also knew the sad fact that he suddenly became a widower as a younger man, with two small children left to his charge. Like all of us, he struggled with what life threw at him, and persevered as best as he could. What I do know and will always remember about Uncle is how he used to pronounce my name in his gentle voice, and how much he loved long walks, visits from his friends, and more than anything, his children.

I will always miss Uncle, but I am glad he is no longer suffering from the many ailments that plagued him in life. He is at peace, and that makes me smile.

I Wanna Dance!

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome Sonia as a guest blogger:

Sonia is an economist from Barcelona. She discovered flamenco and decided to make it her profession at the age of 24, completely changing her life. She's convinced you can do anything you want if you fight for it and never lose your passion!


When I sat down to write this, an avalanche of questions and doubts came to me... Who am I to be writing? What do I have to say?

Well: I’m 31, with a degree in Economics; at 24, I fell in love with dancing; at 26, I quit a great job to become a professional flamenco dancer. And after seven years of struggle, I AM HAPPY and want to share with you my journey.

Leaving work was perhaps the easiest part. At 24, I was dancing at the same level as a 6-year-old and my body prevented me from moving as fast as my mind was going. Needless to say, though I didn’t lack desire or dedication, I felt powerless. Accepting my physical limitations and learning to handle destructive feelings of impotence and frustration, are perhaps two of the battles won I'm most proud of because they provided me with the tools to face other challenges. In my case, these challenges included the death of my mother two years ago and, of course, leaving a career my family and friends were proud of to be an artist. (I won’t tell you what my father said when I announced: “Papa, yo quiero bailar” -- “Dad, I wanna dance!”)

After quitting, I had more to overcome. I was good and people believed I had danced for several years but I kept hiding the truth because I saw my age as a handicap and something to be ashamed of. We’ve been sold the idea that the age when you started doing something defines how well you do it and how authorized you are to teach it to others. The younger, the better. I was not even allowed to participate in many contests for “new talent” because I’m too old, despite my limited years of training.

But isn’t it just as valid to have started something in later in life and achieve success?

I realized that my age was something to be proud of. When you start a new life at a later age, it means you’re sailing alone. But as your arms move your boat forward, those arms get stronger, providing better support for the weight of the challenges, disappointments, failures, as well as opportunities and success that will come to you.

I hope my story will encourage you. If you are someone who’s a little unhappy and needs a final push to start changing it, know that you can! In these troubled times when everything is changing, maybe we should take advantage of this global confusion and embrace change. Believe in yourself and surround yourself with people who understand and support you.

The next step for me is going to New York. I don’t know what will come of it, but neither did I that first day I put on flamenco shoes thinking that it was just a leisure activity for after work... and it changed my life!

Makers: Women Who Make America

Be sure to check out this fantastic PBS program and video series about the inspiring women who have made our country what it is!
www.makers.com

Shake Your Groove Thing

The following was originally posted on November 28, 2012 on Kristina's blog.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.
Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life coach, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth

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Do you have the discipline to be a free spirit? ~ Gabrielle Roth

 In the movie Silver Linings Playbook, the main characters Pat and Tiffany are in training for a big dance competition that turns out to be much more than a fancy booty shaking contest.  A unique romantic dramedy, it’s a film that shows there is a fine line between sanity and insanity, acceptable versus unacceptable behavior, and the beauty of living life to the beat of your own drum.

In the movie The Sessions, Mark O’Brien is confined to an iron lung 20 hours a day, existing on a gurney unable to move from the neck down, and yet he writes poetry, is a professional journalist and decides to hire a sex surrogate so he can experience the most human of experiences. We go along on his journey (based on a true story!) and find him to be one of the most alive, loving and liberated individuals to have ever lived despite such extreme physical limitations.

And as seen in the movie Lincoln, our 16th president is clearly not your Average Joe.  He was always thinking out of the box, used his quirky sense of humor to diffuse or illuminate situations, and took numerous risks throughout the most heart-wrenching circumstances our country has endured.  He stretched the Constitution to its limit, working within an established framework while implementing his own interpretation and/or bending the rules based on his hard-earned wisdom, keen observations and superior judgement as unprecedented needs arose and critical decisions had to be made in order for progress to occur.

In the conscious movement class I take, we are told to  ‘dance it your way’ and have breaks of  ‘free dance’  where we boogie as we see fit; it’s not chaotic because there is an organized structure and unity contained within the flow as we come back together intermittently as a group throughout the hour.  It’s a super-small class because for many people, when given the opportunity to move and think for themselves, even for just a few moments, is a daunting and uncomfortable feeling; it’s an empowering exercise that requires more effort and less inhibition, and many simply don’t know what to do if they are not following the instructor. And that, my friends, is indicative of a larger problem with implications reaching much farther than a gym studio.

Spielberg’s Lincoln asks, “Do you think we choose to be born? Or are we fitted to the times we’re born into?”  As citizens of the 21st century, we are certainly living in extraordinary times that will require us to become the fullest and most unique beings we are meant to be.  We each have something that needs to be expressed, something that no other person on this planet, no one who has come before or will come after can express. Right now we need new ways of looking at old problems and to change old ways in order deal with new problems, so it’s more important than ever for you to do your own thang, because there is no other way to generate inspiration and birth innovation.

In any era it’s easy to get stuck in past habits and sucked into the zeitgeist of the day.  Resist the urge to follow the herd, fight to honor yourself, think and speak your own thoughts and begin to know and create yourself anew every moment of every day instead of getting swept up by social media, news, commercials, and even your peer groups, work and ethnic cultures or family and friends who are all, consciously or not, forces that can easily grab hold of your mind, body, spirit and/or bank account.  Don’t let your physical characteristics, family roots or societal dictates squash all the rhythms inside you that might be quite different from what those outside influences might have you believe, say or do.

Not sure exactly what your groove thing is? Give me a buzz and I’ll get you started with some basic choreography and point you in the right direction, because ultimately You Should Be Dancing your own steps throughout life, hopefully with a fun disco floor beneath your feet along the way!

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic, check out my posts:  Lucky Charms, A Fool’s Errand and New Rules.

Iron Jawed Angels

In addition to Sally's helpful post, check out the HBO flick "Iron Jawed Angels" that TWM held a screening of in 2004.  It's a powerful depiction of what the end of the women's sufferage movement experienced to give us this precious right that we hope all of you are exercising today!

Click here for a synopsis on Wikipedia, too.

Dreaming In Reality*

This piece was originally posted on July 21, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

I am like many others who often think that many of my problems will disappear once I achieve some level of personal or financial stability. I was thinking the other day about owning my own house, and how everything else will fall into place once that happens; I shook myself out of that reverie once I realized how fanciful my thoughts wered. It is always good to dream, and it is my opinion that those who claim that they don‘t are either lying or have given up on life. At the same time, we should not live primarily to dream. Life is messy, and the things we dream about may not always come to be, but sometimes this is for the best.

I once knew someone who told everyone that she wanted her future husband to be tall, dark, and handsome. She couldn't imagine anything different from the image she had in her mind, so when she first met the man she would eventually marry, she did not think of him as “husband material.” Eventually her fantasy of the perfect man changed as she learned more about his good qualities, and everyone who knows her can see she is with the right person; maturity and reality became her guides as she shed her unrealistic dreams of perfection.

Not all dreams should be significantly altered or given up completely; being successful at a career you love is entirely possible, even if there are obstacles on this ascending path. I just think that we as human beings should learn to adapt to the ever changing flow of life. Sometimes what we dream of changes completely or becomes a reality in ways we never would have imagined. I also think that as we work toward making our lives better we should enjoy moments in the present. I don‘t mean to be ominous, but none of us really know how long we have in this life! Finding happiness in the present is important as we move forward to an uncertain future.

Do you agree with my thoughts on dreams and reality?

Six Seconds

The following was originally posted on September 27, 2011 on Kristina's blog. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life coacch, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.
 
I recently attended the screening of a very cool documentary called Connected.  An ambitious undertaking, filmmaker Tiffany Shlain has presented some interesting ideas and factoids in a unique visual way about the history of who we are and the connections we have to each other from the past, present and where we might be headed in the future.

One of the best tidbits I learned was that if you hug someone for six seconds or more, a dose of the feel-good hormone oxytocin is released.

Many of you who have worked with me individually, in a group or have talked to me after one of my workshops or seminars know that I’m a big hugger.  In addition to hugging my clients and audience members, I tend to hug strangers after a meaningful conversation, and even in more professional situations, say after a meeting, which may or may not be kosher, but I can’t help it; I often randomly hug friends, family members and co-workers because I somehow sense they need one, and I will occasionally request one myself (especially from a super-good hugger, like my bro!)

Why? I actually never thought about it.  It’s just always been a natural extension of who I am, the work I do and my love of people in general.  If I had to intellectualize it, perhaps it’s about sealing an interaction in a “Yes, I see and hear you, you see and hear me, and we can show mutual love, respect and care for each other as human beings in the most tangible way.”

And let’s face it, who couldn’t use a hug now and then?  We should be able to give and receive hugs freely, but for those of you who need to justify your request, there’s a scientific explanation, because hey, who wouldn’t want to get a little shot of some naturally feel-good feelings?!  So forget about the economy and the internet, because the true currency of connection is the HUG, and the good news is that it’s available worldwide and abundant in infinite amounts.

Feeling a little stressed or simply need a boost to brighten your day?  Instead of reaching for that Twix bar or beer, have no fear, don’t you pout just say hello and hug it out!