You Say You Want a Revolution

The following was originally posted on December 11, 2013 on Kristina's blog.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a coach and speaker in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.  

You can follow her @clearlykristina and like her Personal Growth Gab (PGG) page on Facebook to get more thought-provoking, inspirational and motivational tidbits like this!

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In memory of Grace Lee Boggs June 27, 1915 - October 5, 2015

One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others .~ Nelson Mandela

Revolution is the evolution of humans into a higher humanity . ~ Grace Lee Boggs
                 

Those of you who know me or have been reading PGG for a while are aware that my passion and mission in life has always been to contribute to world peace, mostly through my work best expressed in my mantra that personal transformation is the key to social transformation.

So it should come as no surprise that I profoundly relate to and revere the lives of these two nonagenarians, Nelson Mandela who died last week at age 95, and the 98-year-old activist and author Grace Lee Boggs.  They literally embody this philosophy in every cell of their beings; they have demonstrated it externally with their activism and sacrifice for racial equality and social justice, and internally by the wisdom they have gained and generously share from nearly a century of experience, observation, and, most importantly, reflection.
  

Both started out as 'radicals', and were branded as terrorists with the requisite FBI/CIA files (Mandela was even on the US terrorism watch list until 2008!) because they initially saw the only way to overthrow the entrenched power structure was by employing the more literal and sometimes violent tactics of revolution through organized movements and a spirit of rebellion. But through trial and error, incarceration, and maturity, they eventually evolved; they gave themselves permission to change their minds, learn and grow in light of new information, experimentation and once again, reflection - ultimately coming to the conclusion that in order to change the world, they would have to change themselves.

They came to understand that indeed humanity is made up of humans and that humans were going to have to deal with other humans in order to get anything done. So we'd better be the best we can be as individuals and try to get along and get past our differences and disagreements, because the reality is that we must co-exist harmoniously - whether in a racially divided African country, a rundown bankrupt American city, or in your very own household.

We are living in extraordinary times, and it is no accident that you are who you are at this moment in history.

What does your humanity mean to you?  As our world continues to go through turbulent changes and upheavals, it will be up to us individually and collectively to do our part to 'tear down' where necessary and rebuild a more enlightened society that reflects our evolved humanity.  But we have to start with ourselves and do what we can in our immediate environments to demonstrate our own revolution - which, by the way, does not happen overnight or with a magic pill, silver bullet, or special app.

Only through keen observation, deep reflection, and inner and outer sweating effort and energy over a long period of time directed towards improving ourselves and serving others that true transformation can take place. Then, if we're lucky, by the time we reach our 90's we can look back and see how our journey has positively and productively unfolded in both a personal and political way, and be proud of what we accomplished and the legacy we will leave behind.

Wondering how it will all go down if you take up the cause? Give me a buzz and I will incite a riot in your heart to make the most of what you got, so at the end of the day you know it's gonna be alright!

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I am so grateful to have learned about and met Grace Lee Boggs just two years ago. 
She passed away yesterday at the age of 100. 

 Everyone should experience her wisdom and humanity so be sure 

check out the documentary or watch the many videos 

of her that can be found online. She is a national treasure who will be greatly missed, but whose legacy will live on in all the lives she touched.

Paradigm Shift NYC Presents “No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power” with Gloria Feldt, Feminist Icon

TWM is proud to be a Co-Sponsor of this Women's History Month event and honored that our founder, Kristina Leonardi will be one of the panelists.  Hope to see you on March 19th! 

Click here for more information and place to register.

Why I'm Feeling Lighter (And, Apparently, Looking Younger)

It seems to me that one of the hardest things to do is to be fully, confidently, unapologetically authentic in every area of your life. I have grappled with the question of who I am and how I express that to others my entire life. I spent most of that time holding back: not letting myself be too loud, too confident, too emotional, too honest, too whatever. I also didn't spend my time or money or energy in ways that inspired and fueled me; it didn't occur to me until a couple of years ago that how you spend your time and your money is how you spend your life.

Since then - and especially in the last few months - I have started to let that go. And, boy, do I feel lighter!

Instead of constantly wondering what the other person is thinking or how they'll react, I just speak my truth. And since I make a conscious effort to spend my time, money, and energy on what I feel is an expression of my authenticity instead of on what makes me feel "meh" or drained, I'm happier, calmer, and more centered. Whether it's a dance break, a manicure, or prioritizing a doctor's appointment, I fill my life as much as I can with what's true to me.

Just a couple of weeks ago, a friend I hadn't seen in a couple of months asked me what I was doing that had me looking so young and vibrant. I was so surprised, I didn't know what to say. "Um... I'm happier???"

Since experiencing this change in myself and in some of the women I know, I've become passionate with helping others reconnect with their authenticity and show up as all of who they are. I talk to so many women whose lives are compartmentalized, or who get blocked by fear and memories from the past when they try to express themselves.

I teamed up with a few friends who are also passionate about authentic expression to put together an all-day workshop/dance party. It's this Saturday in Brooklyn and I'm so excited, I could burst! It's going to be an inspiring, empowering, magical event. If you know you're ready to rediscover and celebrate your authenticity, join me!

About The Violence Against Women In India

Since I first learned of the 2012 case of the brutal Delhi gang rape, which gained international attention, I was disturbed to learn of the rise in reports of similar crimes perpetrated towards Indians and foreigners. It was the attack on a Danish tourist near a popular shopping area in India's capital city last month that really made my blood run cold. Through my own research, I learned of other horrific cases of rape in India that are almost too overwhelming to comprehend. Some of them include a case of a Polish woman raped with her young daughter present in a taxi cab by the driver; a couple ambushed by a group of men while bicycling in Central India; and a nightmarish account of a woman who was raped by order her village council as punishment for who she chose to love. I have read and been told by Indian family members and friends that the increase in reports of rape are a result of more people coming forward to the authorities and the media; fear of reprisals from the perpetrators and being ostracized by their communities continue to be serious deterrents to justice.

As the daughter of first generation Americans who came from India, I have had mixed feelings about the country. As a child, all I knew about India from my two visits there were that I had many Indian relatives, the climate was very hot and rainy, vegetation was lush, and I was a mosquito magnet.  It was only during my last two visits to India as an adult that I learned to appreciate its many cultures, languages, customs, climates and landscapes. Like America, India is more diverse and complex than most people can comprehend, including myself.  Now, however, I am wondering if I will return to my parents' birth country any time soon.

It's not just fear that something horrible will happen to me or someone I know; it's the corruption and misogynistic attitudes that make progress in the prevention of these attacks and the aftermaths faced by victims slower than it should be. There are many wonderful, outspoken Indian women and men in the country facing this issue head-on, and now with more people reporting these attacks, the need for true reform in all levels of society is more vital than ever. As an outsider with some insider knowledge, I see how influential the Indian movie and TV industries could be in transforming some of the sexist, backward attitudes that have contributed to the extreme violence towards women in the country. Strategies like public service announcements that reach out to men and women of all ages would be great, as well as more positive stories of rape victims becoming survivors could make enormous positive impacts.

There are so many other things that need to happen, such as dealing with how families raise their sons and daughters; encouraging all people to report cases of abuse to the authorities; and revising academic, governmental, and medical institutions' policies on how to help survivors and their families. Unfortunately, I have heard too many stories of people who are further victimized by their communities after going public, and for me, that is unacceptable.

True, systematic change will not happen overnight, but I hope to see some significant reforms in my lifetime. After all, India transformed from a British colony into a democracy with a flourishing economy in a matter of decades. I know (as do so many others) that changes in India's cultural, social, and legal policies regarding all forms of abuse must happen, so the nation's progress into a brighter future will become a reality.

Starting the New Year with a New Dream

What is your dream for the world in 2014 and your part in it? Wisdom from the incredible 98 year old activist, author, philosopher and national treasure Grace Lee Boggs.

We are shaking the world with a new dream from Sacred Resonance on Vimeo.

Notable Women of TWM.. are YOU one of them?

 

Have a TWM story to share?  Be a guest blogger and tell us all about it!

Contact us for more info :)

 

Women's History Month 2013   At the beginning of March we sent this blast celebrating International Women's Day. There have been hundreds of women with stories of how TWM has impacted and empowered them over the years - whether they were inspired, motivated or educated by an event they attended, a person they met, or the exposure and skills they were able to develop as a volunteer or intern with us. So before the month is over we thought we'd share with you 12 notable ladies (+1 for good luck!) who got their start, shared a unique milestone, or have been connected to TWM over the 12 years we've been around. Please be sure to check out their links and support them in all the relevant ways! :) Regina Calcaterra - A panelist at our 2004 Politics Schmolitics event who shared her very personal story for the first time that night, and went on to run for State Senator and just published her memoir Sandra Endo - Was an anchor for NY1 News at the time she moderated our Politics Schmolitics event and is now a correspondent with CNN Galia Gichon - One of TWM's first official members, spoke at our inaugural ESP Conference at the start of her business and is now a nationally recognized personal finance expert Kirsten Gillibrand - Was a fan and friend of TWM as a lawyer, and was planning on speaking to our group as a Congresswoman in Spring of 2008 before she was catapulted into the national spotlight replacing Hillary Clinton as New York's Senator Sarah Jones - Gave her first private 'talk back' to our group after performing her highly acclaimed one-woman show Bridge & Tunnel Daisy Khan - A panelist for our 2002 My Life as a Muslim Woman event while she was still working in corporate America, she has gone on to become a recognized and sought-after voice for the Muslim community on the national stage Kekla Magoon - Came to us as a volunteer right out of college and contributed greatly to TWM in numerous ways before becoming an award-winning YA author on the rise Lindsey Pollak - A friend and early member of TWM has become a nationally recognized Gen Y Workplace expert and LinkedIn Spokesperson Bridgette Raes - Gave one of her first presentations as a personal style expert at our 2004 Be Your Best Self event and went on to publish a book and make several TV appearances Terrie Williams - This well-known author, mentor, and businesswoman moderated 2006's My Life as a Black Woman event and has always been a supporter of TWM's work Adaora Udoji - A friend of TWM, this award-winning journalist moderated 2008's My Life as a Female Soldier in Iraq event Alisa Vitti - One of her earliest speaking engagements was a TWM ESP Conference in 2006; she just came out with a book and made her national debut on Dr.Oz Randi Zuckerberg - Was a volunteer with TWM in 2005, helping to organize our Spotlight on Sri Lanka event and One Hot Havana Night fundraiser and then went on to work with her brother when Facebook took the world by storm... And here are just some of the other fabulous women we've met in person along the way who are proud owners of a CHICKS ROCK! button, TWM key chain or INSPIRER Newsletter: Hillary Clinton, Gloria Steinem, Jane Fonda, Sally Field, Madeline Albright, Pat Mitchell, Geena Davis, Brooke Shields, Helen Gurley Brown, Kathy Griffin, Soledad O'Brien, Martha Beck, Eve Ensler, Arianna Huffington, Elizabeth Gilbert, Candace Bushnell, Erica Jong, Marie Wilson, Maria Shriver, Donna Karan, Elizabeth Lesser, Rosario Dawson, Marlee Matlin, Sherri Shepherd, Barbara Walters, Phylicia Rashad, Ivanka Trump, Rachel Ray Who did we forget? Do YOU have an experience, success story or ah-ha moment to share because of your connection with TWM? Email us or post it on Facebook so we can send another blast with more stories! The Women's Mosaic® (TWM) is proud to be a part of the women's empowerment movement for over a decade. Since January 2001 we have offered more than 100 unique opportunities for women of every background to connect to themselves, each other and the world around them. Please show your support for TWM by becoming a member or renewing at the $50 level today! Use the button above for the special $50 TWM Women's History Month Membership. You can always become a member or donate any amount by visiting our website. (Scroll down for a great opportunity to take a discounted luxury Caribbean vacation when you support TWM at the $250 level or higher!) TWM Top 10 Fun Facts & Highlights Upcoming Mosaic and Non-Mosaic Events Click here for all Past Events Become a Member Donate Thank you to all our past, present and future members and donors for your support

At Your Service

The following was originally posted on January 18, 2011 on Kristina's blog.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life coach, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.  Click here for her special caoching rates through the end of January.

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“Life’s most urgent question is: What are you doing for others?” Martin Luther King, Jr.

One of the most common desires I hear from clients when embarking on a new career or making a transition is that they want to be doing something with meaning, something that helps people.

My approach is to ask them, “What is the thing that makes you, you? What you are passionate about; when do you lose track of time?” I inquire as to what their fantasy job would be, and very rarely does that answer have to do with becoming a social worker or joining the Peace Corps.

You don’t have to become the next Mother Teresa, Gandhi or MLK to make a difference and live your life in service to others. Perhaps that may be your path, but as Dr. King also said, “Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.” Running for public office or volunteering on a regular basis can certainly fill that role, but service can be expressed in a myriad of forms that aren’t always so obvious or grandiose. Just being yourself and doing your best at YOU allows us to benefit from whatever unique gifts and talents you possess.

When one’s work is done with love and integrity, every job is one of service. MLK day is also about celebrating diversity, which can refer to many things including occupation. We all have jobs that make the world go round. Whether it’s the super taking care of your building, the bus driver making sure you get to your destination safely, the guy who makes your coffee and bagel every morning, the janitor that cleans the public restrooms you use, the designer of the clothes you are wearing, the comedian that made you laugh last night, the singer whose song you enjoyed on your Ipod, writer whose novel you devoured over the weekend – no occupation is too insignificant, as long as it is done to the best of one’s ability, you can see how any of those people have served you on some level.

And regardless of your job, there is also the service you can provide by smiling at someone when you’re walking down the street, or showing a kindness to a stranger, and notice how for moment you made someone happy or uplifted them in some way.

The thing that I enjoy most and lose track of time doing is talking to folks about their life’s work and helping them make their everyday existence as meaningful and peaceful as possible. I would love the opportunity to help you connect the dots of your life, create more work/life balance and recognize the value in whatever you do, so just give me a buzz as I am always here, at your service.

CHICK OF THE WEEK: Kate Bialo

Can you imagine sleeping on the floor – eating off boxes – storing your belongings in plastic bags? Sadly, there are many families right here in Westchester who cannot afford a bed to sleep on or a table to share a family meal.

Kate Bialo, resident of Larchmont, NY, is an attorney by training, a past President of the Junior League of Westchester on the Sound (JLWOS) and a long-time community volunteer. Through her volunteer work, she was aware of the great number of families in need in Westchester and was dismayed at all the furniture being put at the curb, so in 2007, she founded Furniture Sharehouse, Westchester's Furniture Bank, to put the two together. With seed money from JLWOS and grant money from the County, in 2007, she and a group of volunteers established a warehouse at the Westchester County Airport to collect gently-used furniture and redistribute it to needy families referred by social service agencies. Since 2007, they have distributed over 28,000 items of free furniture to more than 5,800 people who didn't have a bed to sleep on or a table to share a meal.

You know we at CHICKS ROCK! can't get enough of awesome women making a difference, so we want you to help Kate out:

Furniture Sharehouse has the opportunity to win $25,000 to support its operations. Kate has been selected as one of ten L’Oreal Paris 2012 Women of Worth, an honor which includes $10,000 for Furniture Sharehouse, and the Honoree who receives the most on-line votes between now and November 21st will receive an additional $25,000 for her organization.

So PLEASE HELP! You can VOTE DAILY (one daily vote per unique e-mail address) at this link: http://www.womenofworth.com/honorees/honoreesdetail.aspx?id=Kate_Bialo&yr=2012&

PLEASE HELP BY VOTING AND BY SPREADING THE WORD TO FAMILY, FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES. Thank you!

A Woman's Table*

The following was originally posted on September 20, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.

Last week I went to the Brooklyn Museum to see The Dinner Party, created by Judy Chicago (and hundreds of volunteers), a landmark piece of feminist art from the late 1970's. Surprisingly, I had never heard of this piece, which is now on permanent exhibition as the centerpiece of the museum's Elizabeth Sackler Center for Feminist Art.

The Dinner Party is a large triangular table with dinner place settings for 39 women (real and mythical) who over the course of history have impacted feminism, women's rights, and/or the perception of women in the world. Each featured woman represents a cadre of women who made related contributions, and 999 additional names are scrawled on floor tiles in the center. Some represented include The Fertile Goddess, Hatshepsut, Sappho, Elizabeth I, Sojourner Truth, Virginia Woolf and Georgia O'Keefe.

Each place setting contains a unique plate and table runner styled to represent the individual woman's contribution, plus an identical fork, knife and goblet to represent the unity among them. The ceramic plates feature stylized butterfly/flower/vulva forms, and the intricately stitched table runners and ceramic work alike spotlight centuries of “unsigned” women’s art—the quilts, clothing, dishes and more that women have sewn, painted and created over time.

As with any piece of (woman-centered) art of this scale and attention, The Dinner Party was controversially received. Developed between 1974-1979, and debuted in San Francisco, it then existed without a permanent home for over two decades. Is this so surprising, given that women’s work and art has traditionally been pushed to the margins? Let alone a piece of women’s art designed to highlight that very history…

Personally, I found the piece impressive, intriguing and inspiring, but most of all--it begs a conversation. After all, what else is a dinner party for?

Community Easter

I'm still traveling this week, and spent Easter weekend visiting a friend of mine, one of the numerous cool, quirky, fabulous people in my life who happen to be spread around the country and so I only get to see them once in a rare while.

This particular friend and I go way back, back to the days when carefree weekends filled with silly games were par for the course, and both of us miss being surrounded by a community of close friends who we might see and hang out with at length on a daily basis, the way you do when you're young, in high school and college. We lament the fact that out here in the adult world we don't really know our neighbors, rarely interact with them except for the occasional pleasantries. Living in proximity to others no longer implies a shared sense of identity.

To celebrate Easter, my friend decided we should try to bring people together. Her initial idea was to leave treat-filled plastic Easter eggs around the building, for neighbors to find and enjoy. But we figured, in this day and age of terror and skepticism, who is going to eat "unknown" candy? It'd be better, we reasoned, to give a little message, or invite people to DO something. Thus, the Puzzle Project was born.

We placed puzzle pieces inside Easter eggs and left them on doorsteps around the building, inviting residents to come to the common area and help complete the puzzle. We put the edge pieces together to get things started, and let other people take it from there. We left a little sign-in book, in case anyone wanted to share comments or thoughts about the experience. By the end of the day we had received several notes and the puzzle began to come together! People seemed intrigued, and happy to participate in an unusual group activity.

We hope the Puzzle Project might inspire our neighbors to meet new friends, but mostly we hope it made other people feel as good as it made us feel!

Death of a Neighbor

Just the other day, I overheard people on my street talking about my neighbor passing away. After some speculation, I learned that she died while walking to the door of her apartment to go outside. Thankfully, the property management checked up on my neighbor regularly due to her limited mobility and bad health, so when she did not answer her phone, the manager went to her apartment, and then immediately called for an ambulance. She was already dead when they arrived. I had no idea what had happened until that afternoon, on the street in front of my apartment, from people I had never really spoken to before.

I checked on my neighbor periodically, especially since I knew she had no family to speak of. She had a friend who shared a taxi with her when they went grocery shopping, but was mostly a recluse. I often heard her shouting on the phone to someone associated with her health insurance provider, or to one of the many doctors she visited and complained about after the fact. When I spoke to my neighbor, it was usually in front of her door in the common hallway we shared, and she would talk incessantly about her many medical conditions. She was always going in and out of hospitals every other week, at least. It was the way she spoke and represented herself, which made me believe that her medical conditions were not as serious as she said they were. I proved to be wrong, of course.

My neighbor’s death and the glimpses of her life I witnessed before it ended remind me that while I continue to enjoy good health and mobility, I must continue to make each day count. Sleepwalking through life is not an option, which was what my neighbor did near the end of her life; of course her medical and psychological states contributed to her limitations. My goals are to make meaningful connections with others and stay open to a variety of experiences throughout my life, for however long that might be.

Truth Behind A Resignation

My mother’s former church made the local news this month. The former choir director, who happens to be a gay man, resigned after working there for decades because a new priest made homophobic remarks to him in private. As someone with some firsthand knowledge of the situation, I can read uninformed, bigoted comments posted to the articles about this story and easily shake off my annoyance, because I know they have no idea what they are talking about.

The former choir director also taught at the Catholic high school I attended. I never took any of his classes, but I was told by some of my classmates that he was very tough and unyielding with his students. I also attended church reluctantly every Sunday, where I saw him lead the choir with confidence. He was one of the main attractions to the church, so much so that I believe most people who came to church were looking forward more to the music than to what any of the priests had to say. This is just my assumption, of course; I always felt like an outsider to the Catholic community I was surrounded by, and found the music performed at the church to be less than inspiring. There was skill and talent behind it, but I was never moved.

What angers me about my former church is how disrespectful they became. The former choir director was a fixture at the church, and the Franciscan priests appeared to be as respectful of him as he was to them. Since the church’s transfer out of the Franciscan order into another Archdiocese this summer, things changed considerably. The new priest’s openly homophobic, aggressive demeanor put off more than just the former choir director; my mother transferred to another church because of it. Attendance is already dwindling, so this could mean the end of the church. If that is how it has to be, then so be it. I believe that if this church continues on this path, the constant alienation will lead to its downfall.

Victimizing Victims With Blame

Like most people, I find myself getting angry when I hear about people who are physically assaulted at their workplaces, schools, and other places that are familiar to them. I was disgusted when I read the report about the former heard of the International Monetary Fund who is accused of attempting to rape a maid who went to his room to clean it, and then boarded a plane back to his native France the same day; thankfully the authorities stopped him from leaving. I know he is innocent until proven guilty, but when I heard that the maid is a Guinean immigrant and a devout Muslim who wears a traditional headscarf, I became even more concerned. Why? Because in addition to her being in a service-related position where there is little safety for the workers, she must also wrestle feelings of violation and guilt. I don’t want to generalize, but I know that in my parents’ culture, it is still widely believed that women are to blame for any sexual violence they endure.

I found out a few years ago that a former family friend of my Mother’s was raped in a hospital parking lot several decades ago; she worked at that hospital as a nurse. She won a considerable settlement from her employers, but never went to therapy. When I knew her, she was very judgmental and constantly angry. Even with the money, I now know that it did not buy her peace of mind, even though she and her family had the best of everything. Her desire to pretend that the past did not happen for the sake of her traditional beliefs and to fit into her cultural community became everything to her.

While I am respectful of all cultures and religions, I will never understand when a woman or man is forcibly attacked by others and blamed for it. It is a further victimization of the victim, and that is unacceptable. Patience, compassion, and love should always be used by anyone with a family member or friend who goes through this ordeal.

Honoring Radiance

On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day it always seems that my task here becomes a little bit bigger. I want to say something significant to honor the legacy not just of one exceptional man, but of an entire movement, an entire generation of people who struggled and died so I could enjoy the freedoms I take for granted today. All in 350 words or fewer....Yikes.

I feel a connection to this legacy, in part because I've studied the history and am truly grateful for the change wrought by the civil rights era. In part because I see the change that still needs to happen. And maybe in part because I think I'm supposed to, being a black American and all. Still, I find myself floundering for the right words to respond to something so momentous.

This morning, in reference to the Rev. Dr. King, someone quoted me a line from a poem by Elizabeth Alexander: "We all crave radiance in this austere world." I wonder sometimes how austere the world can become: We live in a time of war, and one in which violence can occur seemingly at random against a Congresswoman and an innocent, unsuspecting crowd, including children. Because of those things, I now live in a world in which an oddly-dressed stranger walking into a private meeting immediately conjured in my mind images of a random, psychotic shootout. Bit by bit compassion falls by the wayside, in service of fear.

In the midst of it all, I cling to the sense of triumph and sacrifice that this day is supposed to symbolize. For Dr. King, the first response--even in the face of terror--was never fear, it was courage. His dedication to what was right never faded in the face of all that went wrong. Most amazingly of all, he never had to stand alone.

Thanks, Dr. King, for your too-brief flash of radiance. Let us not imagine that your torch has burned out, but rather that it exploded and burst forth flinging bits of flame. Let us imagine capturing those tiny fires on torches of our own and walking forward through the night until the dawn washes over us all.

Searching for a New Home

For several years now (probably close to a decade), I've been wanting to leave New York and live somewhere else for a while. At first, it was completely out of my control because I was still living at home, but since then, I haven't taken the opportunity to move out of the state.

In this past year, I've had my heart set on moving to Paris. I haven't fully considered the logistics of such a move, but I've certainly been thinking about much more seriously than some people might expect. Somebody once told me that a great way to get yourself to go somewhere is to tell everyone you know and meet that your plan is to go there and, at the very least, I've been doing that. I suppose that's the first step, then.

Of course, even I realize that Paris is a bit of a stretch and that, for the time being anyway, I could simply pack my bags and head to another state or another region of the U.S. With that in mind, I've been taking mental notes in my travels. I've visited a lot of states and cities in the last couple of years that I had never been to before and in each new place I ask myself "could I live here?" So far, the only place I could potentially see myself in is Seattle, which makes me curious about traveling to other places in the Pacific Northwest. I have a couple of friends who absolutely love the region, so there must be something to it.

So this year, I'm hoping to visit major cities throughout the U.S. that I might be able to call home for at least a couple of years. Having felt how Paris grabbed me immediately, I'm hoping I can find a place in the states that pulls me in just as much. In the meantime, I'll keep preparing myself for my big move to Paris, even if I don't know when that day will come.

Friday Forum: Getting Engaged

This week's elections had the entire country's attention and it seemed everywhere you went and every channel you turned to had some mention of it. It's always great to see citizens so engaged, and it got us thinking about our own civic engagement.

What are some things you do to stay active and engaged? Whether it's voting every year, keeping others informed, or playing a role in your community board, what do you do to stay involved?

A Delayed Homecoming

This coming weekend is Homecoming at my college and a good friend of mine has been trying her hardest to get a bunch of us to go. I'm still not completely sure I can make it, but I'm trying to sort through my schedule. I don't want to go so much for the event itself, but because I'd like to see everyone again. 

Deciding whether or not to attend Homecoming as an alum might seem like a normal thing to most, but I realized something a few weeks ago that makes all of this funny to me: in my four years as an undergrad, I never once went to Homecoming. 

I was active in college, first in the residence hall organizations and later in my sorority, so I helped make floats, costumes, etc. But as far as actually being part of the parades and other festivities, or even going as a spectator, it just never happened.

In retrospect, I don't even know how I managed to never attend Homecoming. Did I get in trouble for not going? Did I have legitimate reasons for sitting it out? I can't remember. 

But maybe this year, after all this time, I'll actually gather up some school spirit and have fun at Homecoming. It's never too late to celebrate, right?

Have you ever gone back to school for Homecoming? Did you participate as an undergrad, or rebel by missing it each year?

Welcome Diversity To The Neighborhood

Earlier this month, a new Indian restaurant opened just minutes from where I live. There never was anything like it in our neighborhood before, and its arrival is a pleasant surprise to me. Having an Indian restaurant nearby means more than just the food of course; it means more diversity and choices in our area, and that is a very good thing. The owner of the establishment told us that an Indian grocery store will be opening next door, which lifted my spirits. I don’t always have to drive more than a half hour to other parts of New Jersey or take the bus into New York City to get a good mango lassi or buy amla oil. Soon, both will be available in my neighborhood, and it is both reassuring and convenient on so many levels.

Sure, we have President Obama and the Civil Rights’ Movement is decades old, but I never forget that there are elements of racism and ignorance all around me. Once, my family was the only one of color on our side of town; there was another Indian family who lived on the other side. Now, there are numerous Indian families living on every block. I also see more orthodox Muslims moving into the area, and they go about their lives wearing their traditional dress without being bothered by anyone. Large communities of Hasidic Jews, Hispanics, and African Americans all live in a nearby town, and it makes me feel good being around everyone in the local park. I know that perfection doesn’t exist, and there are simmering resentments felt by people that I don’t know about, but I believe that those generations who went before us and wanted what we have now would be glad to know how far we have come.

So while most people think of the Indian restaurant as another place to eat, I see it as a good omen. Is it a stretch to think so? Maybe, but I think the future looks brighter with its arrival in the neighborhood.

A Women's Table

Last week I went to the Brooklyn Museum to see The Dinner Party, created by Judy Chicago (and hundreds of volunteers), a landmark piece of feminist art from the late 1970's. Surprisingly, I had never heard of this piece, which is now on permanent exhibition as the centerpiece of the museum's Elizabeth Sackler Center for Feminist Art.

The Dinner Party is a large triangular table with dinner place settings for 39 women (real and mythical) who over the course of history have impacted feminism, women's rights, and/or the perception of women in the world. Each featured woman represents a cadre of women who made related contributions, and 999 additional names are scrawled on floor tiles in the center. Some represented include The Fertile Goddess, Hatshepsut, Sappho, Elizabeth I, Sojourner Truth, Virginia Woolf and Georgia O'Keefe.

Each place setting contains a unique plate and table runner styled to represent the individual woman's contribution, plus an identical fork, knife and goblet to represent the unity among them. The ceramic plates feature stylized butterfly/flower/vulva forms, and the intricately stitched table runners and ceramic work alike spotlight centuries of “unsigned” women’s art—the quilts, clothing, dishes and more that women have sewn, painted and created over time.

As with any piece of (woman-centered) art of this scale and attention, The Dinner Party was controversially received. Developed between 1974-1979, and debuted in San Francisco, it then existed without a permanent home for over two decades. Is this so surprising, given that women’s work and art has traditionally been pushed to the margins? Let alone a piece of women’s art designed to highlight that very history…

Personally, I found the piece impressive, intriguing and inspiring, but most of all--it begs a conversation. After all, what else is a dinner party for?

Breaking Boundaries 2.0

I’ve been active on various social networks for many years now. My favorite network has been Twitter, which started as a place where I interacted mostly with other bloggers and feminists. We talked theory, live-tweeted conferences, and debated politics. As more and more people I knew in real life started joining Twitter, I interacted with them on a more personal level. I engaged with my Twitter followers differently, from political types I know only online, to feminists I’ve met because of my online presence, and friends I hardly ever interact with online.

In the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that these lines are starting to blur. People I know in real life have stumbled onto the profiles of some online acquaintances and they’re becoming buddies. I can’t say I’m completely surprised, because that’s how social networking works, after all – you tap into a network of like-minded individuals and make connections with them.

When I first realized this was happening, I have to admit I got a bit freaked out. I share things with online friends that the people I know in real life don’t really understand about me. It’s not that I expect the world to suddenly collapse because these boundaries are being crossed, but it does make me more aware of how I’ve structured these boundaries in the first place. Just this past weekend, I spoke on a panel about social media and when we were asked about having multiple online identities, I confessed that this is something I struggle with myself. We all came to the conclusion that this is an ongoing challenge without any clear answer.

But I have to say that, more than anything else, seeing these groups of people interact is proving to me what I’ve always expected and told people: social networking is a great way to build relationships. And, in some ways, seeing these groups interact lets go of some of the pressure to keep the worlds apart. At the very least, it means I know really cool people who find each other cool as well.