Back to Life, Back to Reality

Labor Day has always been one of my favorite holidays. I was going to write a bit about why, but it turns out I've already posted about it several times before: for instance, in 2009 and 2011.

All I have to add is this: when Labor Day passes, that signals the end of summer. Not just for me, but for the country as a whole, it seems. Regardless of the weather, come September it means putting away carefree summer attitudes and getting down to business. Back to life, back to reality, as the song goes.

We've had a great summer here at CHICKS ROCK! We hope you've enjoyed our Summer Retrospective, which included reruns of some of our favorite past posts. It's been fun for us to take a little look back at the past few years of our individual lives, and the life of this blog.

If you want to check out more past posts, you can always dip into our blog archives; if you're new to the blog it's a great way to get to know all of us better. If you've been reading us for a while, it's a nice trip down memory lane!

This fall, we'll be posting new content on Mondays through Fridays. And we want to hear from YOU! We love comments, guest posts, and all kinds of input that help us make this blog a conversation.

THANKS FOR READING!!!

How Did You Spend Your Summer?

Even though summer officially ends Friday, September 21, most of us see Labor Day weekend as the beginning of the end of the season, especially those who are headed back to school. So as we start to say goodbye to the long hot days, we would love for you to share some of your summer experiences. Did you travel, and if so where to? Do you have some good staycation stories to share instead? Was this summer better or worse than last year's?

If you are interested in sharing your memories and thoughts, please check out our guidelines and submit a post. We look forward to your contributions!

Looking Back At High School*

This piece was originally posted on February 15, 2012. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

I just received notification from the high school I graduated from regarding an alumni publication, requesting information and photos of me to include in it. I usually ignore most mail I get from the school, but I actually thought of calling the phone number provided and telling them to remove any mention of me. Why? Because my high school experience was not a good one, and it did not help that my parents paid good money for me to attend the institution. My elementary and middle school experiences were far worse than those I had in high school, but I did expect more from the latter, especially since my tuition increased every year while the quality of my education decreased. Most of my teachers were mediocre at best, with the exception of one who made me look forward to college.

The harsh treatment of the school administration towards my class during our senior year was what made me decide to never have anything to do with the school after graduation. The principal at the time decided to punish us for the bad behavior of the previous senior class, which led to deep resentments; it was as if a black cloud loomed over us until we graduated. I even remember that many people did not go to prom that year, and I was one of them.

Because my academic experiences before my undergraduate education were sorely lacking, I appreciate good teachers and school administrators even more, whether they are found in public and private schools. I started loving education when I went to college, because I met more educators who knew how to teach, and took classes that were both difficult and interesting at the same time. I really felt like a butterfly that had been a caterpillar for far too long before then.

I may just ignore the notification from my former high school in protest of the bad education I received from them. Perhaps that is best.

Free and Equal in Dignity and Rights*

The following was originally posted on January 24, 2012. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective:

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton appeared before the United Nations in Geneva, Switzerland, this past December to speak in celebration of Human Rights Day. Human Rights Day honors the moment in 1948 when, after several years of debate and deliberation, the UN voted to ratify a Universal Declaration of Human Rights, affirming that all human beings on earth are "born free and equal in dignity and rights," and that governments cannot remove or assign those rights, but instead have a responsibility to protect them for ALL citizens under their care.

Incredibly powerful stuff. In many ways, this declaration came decades ahead of its time--many of the countries that voted in favor of it had yet to recognize the full citizenship of all their people. We still had segregation in the southern U.S., repressive colonialism existed throughout much of Africa, and women still fought for gender equality all over the globe. But the declaration passed, I imagine because of the inherent truth of it, in spite of the fact that the world leaders of the day could not have comprehended the vast significance their affirmation would take on in the decades to come.

Secretary Clinton spent her time at the podium last month articulating the vastly important message that leaders are supposed to lead, often in big bold strokes that their people may not be ready for. She focuses on how, for all the progress that we've made worldwide in the past century securing human rights for women, indigenous people, racial and ethnic minorities, religious groups, and people with disabilities, there is another group that has yet to be fully recognized as deserving of human rights--gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Her speech is mind-blowing. It is clear, direct, simple yet challenging...and honest. It gets to the heart of the questions that people on all sides of the sexuality issue ask, and the beliefs they hold dear, and begins to grapple with them--the way we all are going to need to speak within public discourse if additional progress is ever to be made.

I happen to adore Hillary, but even if you don't, you should watch this speech from beginning to end, and listen. It's thirty minutes long, but well worth it. She transcends politics here, in a way that we need many more of our politicians to do. And she's right. Changes are coming, and I, for one, want to "be on the right side of history."



What did you think of this speech?

Live the Life You Like*

The following was originally posted on June 23, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome Routh as a first-time guest blogger this week as part of TWM's World of Wellness.

Routh Chadwick, LMSW, is a personal coach and counselor specializing in helping people discover and live their life purpose while finding more pleasure in their daily lives. She has a private practice in New York City.

As the saying goes, I entered the mental health profession partly to heal myself. After suffering from depression and anxiety for years, I set out to discover a better way to live. Over time, I made changes in my thinking and habits that enabled me to reach a place of well-being. The changes weren’t easy, but I stopped trying to live my life according to the mainstream views of success and started listening to myself. I also noticed a tendency in all of us to focus on the pain in our lives rather than beauty and abundance. I saw this in the acceptance of lousy working conditions, crazy stress levels, and a constant striving for some future happiness. The cultural antidote to the pain tends to be some kind of numbing agent: too much television, too much alcohol, chronic use of antidepressants, etc.

My search for healthier solutions took me to the Zen practice of mindfulness – paying attention to your experience and being present in the moment. The pagan embrace of the pleasures that life on earth offers also helped, going against the suffering, self-denial, and guilt our culture prescribes.

Many come to me feeling lost or dissatisfied, so if you feel this way, you’re not alone. My process begins with an exploration to help you discover what it is you really want in life. We look at your life as a whole and make gradual adjustments. While long-term success means discomfort at times, the result is a richer, more fulfilling life.

One of the suggestions I give is to take note of all the ways you’re rushing through your life. Then see if once in a while, you can catch yourself and slow down for a moment. Even if you’re under the gun at work, there’s no reason you can’t allow yourself five minutes to get fresh air and enjoy some sunshine. Small actions open up a space in your life for new awareness and new habits.

I offer one-on-one sessions to assist you in making changes that will lead to a more meaningful life. If you mention TWM, you’re entitled to 15% off any services I offer.

Dreaming In Reality*

This piece was originally posted on July 21, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

I am like many others who often think that many of my problems will disappear once I achieve some level of personal or financial stability. I was thinking the other day about owning my own house, and how everything else will fall into place once that happens; I shook myself out of that reverie once I realized how fanciful my thoughts wered. It is always good to dream, and it is my opinion that those who claim that they don‘t are either lying or have given up on life. At the same time, we should not live primarily to dream. Life is messy, and the things we dream about may not always come to be, but sometimes this is for the best.

I once knew someone who told everyone that she wanted her future husband to be tall, dark, and handsome. She couldn't imagine anything different from the image she had in her mind, so when she first met the man she would eventually marry, she did not think of him as “husband material.” Eventually her fantasy of the perfect man changed as she learned more about his good qualities, and everyone who knows her can see she is with the right person; maturity and reality became her guides as she shed her unrealistic dreams of perfection.

Not all dreams should be significantly altered or given up completely; being successful at a career you love is entirely possible, even if there are obstacles on this ascending path. I just think that we as human beings should learn to adapt to the ever changing flow of life. Sometimes what we dream of changes completely or becomes a reality in ways we never would have imagined. I also think that as we work toward making our lives better we should enjoy moments in the present. I don‘t mean to be ominous, but none of us really know how long we have in this life! Finding happiness in the present is important as we move forward to an uncertain future.

Do you agree with my thoughts on dreams and reality?

Wanderlust*

This piece was originally posted on April 26, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective:

I’ve been craving new travel adventures lately. It hasn’t even been that long since I went anywhere. I take small vacations when I can and I travel a bit for work these days, making visits to schools, libraries, bookstores, and writing conferences around the country. Whether it’s for business or pleasure, I look forward to packing my bags and hitting the road. There’s always fun to be had away from home.

I took a cross country road trip with a friend a few years ago, from New York to California in six days. It was fantastic, and not just because I love driving and riding in cars. We experienced so much! This week I busted out my “I Survived Highway 50” t-shirt, which boasts about my successful traversing of the so-called “loneliest road in America.” I wore it and thought about how it felt to gun the engine on a literally empty highway, watching miles of open desert churn past the windows. Awesome.

I find there’s something special about simply moving forward, no matter the destination, even if there isn’t one. Time stands still when the road is wide open in front of you, or as the plane hurtles forward at its cruising altitude, or the train chugs along at just the right rhythm. And when you get where you’re going, wherever that may be, there’s something magical about wandering the streets of a strange city, seeing the sights and tasting local treats along the way.

I once read a book about a guy who wanders all the time, from place to place, seeing what he sees, working when he has to and then living off the cash for as long as he can. In a fantasy life, that sounds amazing. In reality, I have no wish to live like that; the half of me that’s not suffused with wanderlust is quite a content little homebody. How to reconcile the two? Give me a good long journey every now and then, and I’ll be a happy camper.

When Determination Meets Serendipity*

The following was originally posted on April 28, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective:

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome Karen as a first-time guest blogger this week.

Originally from the UK, Karen lives and works in NYC. She makes her living as an accountant but is also a collage artist.


What do you call those times when the entire universe seems to falls into place? When you feel there’s nowhere else you'd rather be and no one else you'd rather be with? Right here, right now. Atlas didn't shrug, he snuggled.

So here I am: intrepid solo traveller, nursing a broken ankle, drinking red wine in a seedy pub in Berlin in the early hours of a cold October morning. Since that horrible day three months earlier, when I hit the wet floor of the locker room at my gym and just knew it wasn't good, I’ve been working towards this moment.

My family and friends told me I'd be crazy to travel – my leg was encased in a big black boot, reliant on Percocet to get through the night – but my trip was booked and paid for. I resolved that nothing would stop me from going!

I surrendered a little of my independence by booking a wheelchair. At JFK airport I was cossetted and cared for. I swept through security like visiting royalty.

I was traveling to see a band, the Tiger Lillies, three middle-aged British guys I consider good friends. They’re spending a month in Berlin performing their "Freakshow" which has several circus acts. So there we were on my first evening in this amazing city: me, the band, three friends from London, and members of the cast. There are two little people (she's a dancer, he performs with Ringling Bros.), a snake lady who can contort herself into positions I never dreamed of, and a man who juggles hats and knives.

Surrounded by these amazing creative people, what did I feel? Freedom. Peace. Happiness! I don't care about my ankle or "Das Boot," as it came to be known. I wish I could bottle this moment and take it home. I know it's impossible to feel this way all the time, but it's good to remember that I helped to create that moment myself. Determination and a little serendipity came together at that moment, and it’s up to me to make it happen again.

Raves for TWM's First Book Club*

This piece was originally posted on June 24, 2009. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

On June 17, several women gathered together to discuss Indu Sundaresan’s The Twentieth Wife for the first ever TWM Sizzling Summer Book Club meeting. I was fortunate to be one of them, and I am not just saying this because I am affiliated with TWM. I was pleasantly surprised at the instant rapport my fellow book clubbers and I forged as we discussed women’s roles during the height of the Mughal Empire in the Indian subcontinent as we snacked on Italian sweets at Veniero's in New York City’s Lower East Side.

The historical novel is built around a real woman named Mehrunnissa (which means “Sun of Women”), her Persian family, and their lasting impact on the Mughal emperors Akbar and Jahangir. From the title of the book and from history, we all knew the main character would eventually become Nur Jahan, the wife of Jahangir. That fact didn’t take away from the enjoyment we all had from reading about Mehrunnissa’s journey, which Sundaresan created so vividly on the page. We discussed how women exerted their power and influence in the Mughal court, while still having to remain in the shadows as men publicly dominated the world. The discussion took an interesting turn when we discussed how women’s subjugation of one another in history is also alive and well today, which is an unfortunate and sobering reality we all have to deal with.

Even though I love books, I have never been a part of a book club before. I am glad I chose TWM’s as my first. While we definitely bonded over the book, I believe that the friendliness, openness and intelligence of my fellow book club members made it worthwhile. It is refreshing to meet people who love reading and self-discovery through the process. I also feel that my love for reading has been renewed because of the positive group interaction I experienced. I hope the other participants feel the same.

July’s theme is Women and Travel, so I am really looking forward to reading TWM’s book selection. Yes, I am a bibliophile, and proud of it!

The Power of Words, The Promise of Peace*

The following was originally posted on October 15, 2009. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week:

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.


When I was in high school my dream was to work for the United Nations – I excelled at foreign languages and loved learning about other cultures. I studied International Relations and worked extensively with the international student population of my university. I met people from around the globe and was fascinated by the ways we choose to speak, clothe and govern ourselves, the music we develop and myriad of ways we prepare food, how varied the physical geography we inhabit... But under the diversity, it was clear to me that we enjoy the same basic wants, needs and wishes for ourselves and those we love.

I knew I wanted to do work that took advantage of my passion for and understanding of this concept. The UN, in theory, seemed to be the place for me, but the reality was quite different, and so I ended up forming The Women’s Mosaic instead. However, I do live near the UN’s missions and delegates, have been invited to numerous events over the years, and am thrilled to be part of it in my own way.

Every September during the General Assembly, my neighborhood goes into lock-down and this year was no different, except for one extraordinary event. In a speech given by President Obama, the United States, for the first time in decades, actually expressed its commitment to the institution at its core: its ideals and what it represents. The vision of the UN is what we must aspire to and it cannot succeed without everyone's participation, especially a country as powerful as the U.S. I could not have been more proud that day and felt a sigh of relief that things were finally back on the right track.

They were "only words," but they caused a cosmic shift in the perception of who we are and what the UN is capable of. Words are powerful. They are the bridge between thought and action. They are a vital part of any great movement and are often transforming in and of themselves. For these and many more of his words, there is no doubt in my mind that President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. Words manifest change, internally and externally. And both kinds have value, as they are inexorably intertwined.

Politics Schmolitics 2012*

This piece was originally posted on December 14, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

Like many other Americans, I want to be more enthusiastic about the upcoming 2012 U.S. presidential election. I cannot muster enough enthusiasm at this time, because
This piece was originally posted on December 14, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

I am not happy with those who are currently taking the lead. Politics has always frustrated me, but I think I feel it now more than ever because of how our economy continues to suffer, and will apparently continue to do so for a few more years, at least. Major reforms, from global to local private and public entities to prevent similar economic downfalls, have yet to be implemented in most cases. Apparently the recession is over, but I have heard and can feel for myself that we as a country are still struggling, and may never be the same again. How do I get myself excited for the national race if both candidates leave a less than stellar impression on me?

I think one way to start is to look beyond the two candidates from the two main political parties to recognize and research those lesser known or completely unknown people who are running for public office. I would like to think that one day, we as a nation would elect someone as president who is not a Democrat or a Republican in our lifetimes. I wish it could be easier to learn more about lesser known candidates, so we can know as much as we can about those running for office from their records, apart from meeting them in person. All of my other suggestions have to do with taking initiative, and for it not to be overwhelming to do so.

I hope The Women’s Mosaic will host another Politics Schmolitics event to mark the 2012 races. It would be a great way to engage those interested in learning more and to possibly be more active in public life themselves. I also love the name "Politics Schmolitics," and would love to be a part of a new TWM event with that same name again.

What are your thoughts on politics?

Mall Taman Anggrek: My Indonesian Comfort Zone*

This piece was originally posted on October 1, 2008. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

Mall culture takes on a life of its own in most Southeast Asian cities, like Jakarta. You cannot get away from them; they are everywhere. Mall Taman Anggrek is currently the largest mall in Jakarta. The obnoxiously large building houses more than 500 stores on seven floors. Taman Anggrek is translated to mean “orchid garden” in English, which evokes images of serene beauty and calm. I never understood the name, until I found out there used to be a real orchid garden in that location.

Early in the morning during the week is the best time to enjoy the mall’s interiors. It is a marvel of space, light and marble...a truly impressive sight. Even though I dislike malls in general, I cannot deny that the architects who designed Mall Taman Anggrek are true artists.

It is also a less stressful place to shop, especially for women. We can walk around the mall without being harassed, unlike the congested street fairs that dominate many city neighborhoods. I couldn’t avoid Taman Anggrek, or any mall for that matter. It is where I had to go to find Western sizes of shoes and clothes, and anything else that is familiar from home. I am almost ashamed to admit that these malls are also havens for foreigners like me. I don’t have to worry about getting ripped off like I do in other local establishments. Taman Anggrek is my Third World reminder of home…sort of.

Are malls like Taman Anggrek the best that Jakarta has to offer? Well, yes…and no. The few city museums and monuments I visited are intellectually superior to anything that can be found at the mall. Still, the air conditioning, window shopping, and gourmet fast food trumps culture and history for many locals and foreigners in Indonesia’s polluted and over-populated capital city. When expats like me need to escape from the heat, noise and smells of the Jakarta streets, retreating to the mall is the easiest thing to do.

What is your idea of comfort when you're far away from home?

Dancing with "Dancing with the Stars"*

The following was originally posted on October 10,2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.


After years of resisting, this season I've finally broken down and started watching ABC's Dancing with the Stars. Friends who know that I'm a former ballroom dancer constantly tell me I've been missing out. ("You'd love this show. You have to watch.") Instead, I studiously avoided it. I couldn't make it through a single episode, because I quickly realized that there's nothing more annoying and painful than watching people do something I enjoy doing when I can't do it myself.

Beginning in college up through my first years living in NYC, I participated in ballroom dancing clubs and classes. I cut out this activity because, after my career transition, it was no longer in my budget. Ballroom dancing lessons are surprisingly expensive! But I haven't stopped thinking about how much I enjoyed a good tango or rumba back in the day. Seeing Dancing with the Stars simply made me sad about it.

I'm not sure what caused me to give the show a second chance this fall. I'm even less sure why I'm not still hating it. I can't quite say I enjoy watching, but something new is going on for me. Perhaps some inner strand of optimism has risen to the surface. Because I've discovered that rather than being something to pine over, the show can be a way to savor something. The memory of my dancing days, plus the hope that I can begin again sometime soon. Better than memory or hope, even, is the potential that the show itself will inspire me to seek new ways of satisfying my desire to dance. Maybe I can locate an inexpensive ballroom class or even find a place to cha-cha my little heart out for free. Because, after having loved and missed something so much for so long, maybe it's time to open the door to opportunities again.

Is there a hobby or activity you've given up that you'd like to bring back into your life?

My Busy Summer

Summer is almost over, and there is still so much for me to do before the season ends. Moving tops my list of things to do by the end of next month, and as everyone knows, it is never fun to move. I do not look forward to deciding what I must keep and what has to go; I can do it, but as a natural procrastinator, I do not relish the task.

Making time for more fun is very important to me, and that includes travel. I do not have the time to go off to exotic locales, but I am hoping to take a few day and weekend trips to places I have never been to. One of my dream locales to visit is Quebec; I feel embarrassed that I have not been there, especially since I have always wanted to and it really isn't that far away. I hope to remedy this situation by Labor Day weekend, if possible.

I also want to reconnect with friends I have not seen in quite some time. I am usually on the phone or emailing them instead of being in their physical presence. I am guilty of breaking plans because work or other distractions that get in the way, and so I want to be sure to break this habit for the summer and beyond. I really am a social person, so I must resist letting technology and the demands of work get the better of me.

For the first time since I started blogging with CHICKS ROCK! in 2008, I am taking the month of August off to accomplish these and many more tasks. I will be back in September, but in the meantime please check out some of my previous blog posts from months and years past. This is part of the ongoing CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, which my fellow CHICKS and I are participating in.

Enjoy the rest of the summer!

The Art of Observation*

The following was originally posted on April 30, 2012. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective:

I've been observing and enjoying a lot of public art lately. It might be because I'm traveling and so my eyes are open to noticing the world around me in different ways than usual. But even when I was last home, I found myself increasingly viewing the world in terms of visual art. I've been trying to take more pictures, and I always have my camera (or cell phone camera, at least) on hand and it makes all the difference when I am consciously aware of each new corner of the world as a potential photographic subject.

In every city I visit, I'm finding there is a notable presence of public art: dynamic sculptures, wall murals (some commissioned, some graffiti) activist-inspired installations, and much much more.

These discoveries have led me to think a lot about the presence and role of art in the world in general, and in public spaces in particular. I think about how essential it is, how delightfully overwhelming it can be to be startled, moved, inspired, made to giggle or to react in some visceral way to a piece of art encountered unexpectedly.

There's great power in art, which of course I knew already, being an artist myself, but the sort of art I pursue is more deliberate somehow. Readers don't tend to "accidentally" read a novel, not in the way you can so easily stumble into a piece of visual art, or overhear a song. I suppose you could compare the act of turning a corner and meeting a delicious sculpture to the act of browsing a bookstore and discovering a gem of a read you might never have gone in search of but just finds its way into your hand at the opportune moment.

At any rate, these recent glimpses of art continue to surprise and delight me. I continue to take their pictures and fold them into the photographic record of the life I am currently living. Which, I suppose is another layer of art unto itself.

Do you tend to notice art in the world around you?

The Truth in What You Hear*

The following was originally posted on January 19, 2012. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.


CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Amanda as a guest blogger this week:

Amanda Grant lives in Hoboken, NJ and enjoys spending time with her two year-old son Isaac and dancing. She left her successful 24-year career and founded USAdopt in New York to help potential parents navigate and accelerate the U.S. adoption process.

Have you ever considered adopting a child from the U.S. but thought: “if I adopt in the U.S., the birthmother can take back her baby” or “it’s too expensive” or “I won’t adopt from foster care because those kids are beyond healing”? If you’ve had these thoughts or similar ones, I encourage you to hear me out and reconsider the possibilities.

Four years ago, I was in the same place. I knew I wanted to become a parent by adoption, even though I wasn’t married, but didn’t know where to begin. All I knew was what I “heard” which wasn’t encouraging. So I researched and today I can tell you that most of what we “hear” about domestic adoption is incorrect or incomplete. I’m the proud mother of a beautiful, healthy boy born in New Jersey who I adopted at birth.

I had a positive experience adopting my son but not everybody does because the misinformation makes it challenging for even the smartest to filter out the facts. I became so passionate about helping people navigate the complex process that I left my 24-year career in asset management to start USAdopt.

USAdopt is a domestic adoption consultancy (not an agency or facilitator) that guides people through the process and prepares them for every step. When people know the facts, it often changes their perspective on and opens doors they didn’t know existed. For example, did you know:

Domestic adoptions cannot be revoked once finalized in court; they’re permanent.

Birthmothers cannot come back and take your adopted child. Even in an open adoption, the amount of contact information you provide is in your control.

There’s an adoption for every budget. There are tax credits, subsidies, grants, loans and fundraising alternatives to finance an adoption.

It’s usually less expensive to adopt from the U.S. than another country, and there’s a greater likelihood of receiving accurate medical history.

There were over 22,000 newborns available for adoption in the U.S. in 2010.

Many foster children, given a safe and loving home, will grow to be responsible, productive, self-sufficient adults.

Being single or part of the LGBT community does not reduce your ability to adopt a domestic child.

These are just a few of the facts that aren’t commonly known, and there are many more. We offer a free consultation so to find out how USAdopt can help you achieve your dreams of building a family, please contact me at agrant@usadopt.com.

Gay Marriage Is Right*

This piece was originally posted on June 22, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

The ongoing debate about gay marriage, particularly in New York and New Jersey, has flared up annoyance and some anger in me. Every time I think we as a society are moving closer towards acceptance of all law abiding people, regardless of sexual orientation, I am reminded by certain people that we still have a very long way to go. I have heard it said many times that the pursuit of equal rights for gay and lesbian citizens is our latest civil rights movement. People may dispute this vehemently, but I believe it is true.

I think the opposition to gay marriage shared by a number of religious groups is one of the main reasons why I am no longer religious. Born and raised a Roman Catholic and having attended Catholic schools in New Jersey, I felt genuinely repressed and ill at ease with religion as a whole. I always believed in a Higher Power, but I find the bigotry towards gays and lesbians to be contradictory to Christian values of acceptance and love. I have a distinct aversion for people who consider themselves closer to God based simply on which religious group they belong to, especially when they speak words ranging from ignorance to pure hatred towards those they see as outsiders.

As a straight woman who believes that there are many people out there who should not be married due to their destructive personalities, I am also supportive of anyone who wants to enter into the matrimonial state for all the right reasons. Love, friendship, respect, loyalty, and more can be shared by any two people who want to grow old together, and that is a beautiful thing. Regardless of the outcome of the pending vote in New York for or against gay marriage, I will always see any union between two loving people the same way, regardless of sexual orientation. Regulating love is never a good thing.

A Little Help From Non-Friends*

The following was originally posted on July 7, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome Elaine as a first-time guest blogger this week as part of TWM's World of Wellness.





Elaine Hamnett worked for years as a public relations executive before seeking a more fulfilling and meaningful path as a coach. She’s now dedicated to empowering people to get the life of their dreams.

I discovered coaching by watching television -- something I do perhaps more than I should, but who knew it could change your life?

Several years ago, coaching guru Rhonda Britten launched the show “Starting Over” on a major network and five days a week viewers were privy to the inner lives, thoughts, troubles and ultimate growth of six women dedicated to being better. I was addicted instantly and set the DVR (or was it video?) every day. In fact, it was so inspiring to see these women work through their personal blocks, doubts and self-sabotage to get what they really wanted in life that I decided I wanted to be a coach myself. So I got certified and today I am happily helping others be their best.

Coaches believe in the process so strongly that most of us have our own coaches! I have to admit that my relationship with my coach is one of the most rewarding and productive relationships I have. Unlike therapy, coaching doesn’t typically dwell in the past or concentrate on healing wounds. Instead, it is really about forward motion. It allows me to spend 45 minutes a week thinking about what I want and how to get there. That sounds a little odd, but how often do you really think about that and then put a plan in action to achieve your dreams?

And while I can turn to friends when I need advice and comfort, it’s not always ideal. They may be coming from a place of total love, but they might have their own agenda or thoughts on what I should or shouldn’t do, unlike my coach who has nothing at stake when I make a decision. My time there is all about what I want for myself.

If this sounds like what you’re looking for, feel free to check out my website for more information, I’d be happy to speak with you.

Post 911 America, Warts And All*

This piece was originally posted on July 6, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

The United States of America has always had its critics. After the second Iraq War began in 2002, global criticism of the country grew considerably. It was a tricky time; if an American criticized the war, that person was considered unpatriotic. I even heard some people in the media saying that anyone critical against the military efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan should leave the country for good. I was critical of the second Iraq War, but as a sister of a U.S. army officer, I am completely on the side of the troops who were and still are deployed overseas. I found the attacks on people who openly criticized the war to be similar to witch hunts, only there would be no literal burnings at the stake.

Even though I am not a Muslim or an Arab, I was told by a family member that our last name implies that we could be one or both. He also claimed that we were facing bias because of it in the workplace. I personally never felt this, and refused to succumb to pressure to change my last name in the new Post-9/11 America. After all, Sikhs were being attacked because of their turbans, and they are not Arabs or connected to the Muslim religion. These attacks really had to do with xenophobia, which is an unreasonable fear or hatred of foreigners and anything foreign. When I heard about the murder of a Sikh man mistaken for an Arab on September 15, 2001, I remembered reading that the murderer was ignorant and xenophobic to begin with. After 9/11, he decided to unleash his hatred as a form of vigilante justice on those who did not look right to him.

As I celebrate the America’s birthday this week, I am reminded of our continuing struggles for freedom and against bigotry. I am proud that as an American, I can openly support and criticize my country without fear of imprisonment. Difficult times, such as those faced after 9/11, remind me that we should NEVER take our freedoms for granted.

Don't Worry, Be Happy*

The following was originally posted on June 9, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.




CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.


Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.

As the saying goes, there are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes and change. Change comes in all shapes and sizes, some more scary than others. Climate change, career change, graduations, marriages and relationships changes, TV changes, sex changes, change of residences, and regime change to name a few - and June seems chock full of them!

Most folks have a hard time with change. We'd rather stay comfy and/or miserable rather than letting go of our crutches and seeing what else life might have in store us. We cannot control things but we can control how we respond to them: we can resist and go kicking and screaming or we can accept that change happens, and just go with the flow.

Going with the flow means listening to yourself, and giving yourself what you need at any particular moment. The best way to navigate change is to trust in yourself and be your own best counsel, so it's important to have that 'muscle' in place as you go over the white water rapids of feelings that come with this thing called life.

Change is not always fun, but it's almost always for the better, because change forces growth and growth is good. And once the change happens, we can't be like a goldfish who lived in a fishbowl his whole life but then when put into the ocean still swims around in a little circle as if he were still in a bowl!

David Bowie tells us time can change you but you can't trace time. So this summer, if you feel you are ready to be hatched, then fly, be free! Not quite like Mork's egg, but more like Steve Miller's Eagle or with the help of Bob Marley's Three Little Birds and the wonder of that other Stevie who sings, Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing.