End of Year Support for CHICKS ROCK!

Season’s Greetings!

Since January 2001, The Women's Mosaic(R) has offered over 100 successful opportunities for women to connect to themselves, each other and the world around them. You can read about our work in detail through the PDF online editions of our past INSPIRER Newsletters: One, Two, Three  and check out some Top Ten Fun Facts and Highlights here.

This year has been one of transition, as we have been providing the education, inspiration and motivation for our community mostly online through our blog CHICKS ROCK!, our Facebook page, and Twitter, which now has over 4000 followers! We also ran three of our popular Visioning Workshops and added more content to our YouTube page, including after the Sikh temple bombing earlier this year.

We are not quite sure what 2013 will look like in terms of live events, and continue to explore other ways to do our work in this ever-changing landscape. We will keep you abreast of any changes in direction and new programming; in the meantime we hope that we can count on your support and remind you to make your 2012 tax-deductible contribution before December 31st.

Simply use the DONATE button on our website,  below on the right sidebar of this page.

Looking back over the past decade, it has been most rewarding to see how numerous individuals who have been involved with our organization have benefited from their experience with us. We are extremely proud of our many members, volunteers, panelists and interns who have gone on to make major decisions and successful life changes as a result of the platform we provide, knowing that TWM has been a significant stop and foundation for them on their journey – thank YOU for helping to make that all possible!

We very much appreciate your support and send all the best wishes for a Peaceful, Prosperous and Healthy New Year!

P.S. If you are a past member, or would like to change your status to Member and take advantage of a variety of discounts as part of our group simply go to our MEMBERSHIP Page and use the buttons there or on the sidebar of this page. Recent discounts include Broadway shows, gym memberships and jewelry discounts. Contact us for more details….

P.P.S. If you donate $250 or more you can get a significantly discounted all-inclusive luxury Caribbean vacation courtesy of Elite Island Resorts. Contact us for more details :)

Happiest of Holidays and a Bright New Year

 TWM and CHICKS ROCK! wish you and your family a Joyous Holiday and a Peaceful, Propserous New Year!  We hope you get everything you want and more :)

Shake Your Groove Thing

The following was originally posted on November 28, 2012 on Kristina's blog.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.
Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life coach, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth

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Do you have the discipline to be a free spirit? ~ Gabrielle Roth

 In the movie Silver Linings Playbook, the main characters Pat and Tiffany are in training for a big dance competition that turns out to be much more than a fancy booty shaking contest.  A unique romantic dramedy, it’s a film that shows there is a fine line between sanity and insanity, acceptable versus unacceptable behavior, and the beauty of living life to the beat of your own drum.

In the movie The Sessions, Mark O’Brien is confined to an iron lung 20 hours a day, existing on a gurney unable to move from the neck down, and yet he writes poetry, is a professional journalist and decides to hire a sex surrogate so he can experience the most human of experiences. We go along on his journey (based on a true story!) and find him to be one of the most alive, loving and liberated individuals to have ever lived despite such extreme physical limitations.

And as seen in the movie Lincoln, our 16th president is clearly not your Average Joe.  He was always thinking out of the box, used his quirky sense of humor to diffuse or illuminate situations, and took numerous risks throughout the most heart-wrenching circumstances our country has endured.  He stretched the Constitution to its limit, working within an established framework while implementing his own interpretation and/or bending the rules based on his hard-earned wisdom, keen observations and superior judgement as unprecedented needs arose and critical decisions had to be made in order for progress to occur.

In the conscious movement class I take, we are told to  ‘dance it your way’ and have breaks of  ‘free dance’  where we boogie as we see fit; it’s not chaotic because there is an organized structure and unity contained within the flow as we come back together intermittently as a group throughout the hour.  It’s a super-small class because for many people, when given the opportunity to move and think for themselves, even for just a few moments, is a daunting and uncomfortable feeling; it’s an empowering exercise that requires more effort and less inhibition, and many simply don’t know what to do if they are not following the instructor. And that, my friends, is indicative of a larger problem with implications reaching much farther than a gym studio.

Spielberg’s Lincoln asks, “Do you think we choose to be born? Or are we fitted to the times we’re born into?”  As citizens of the 21st century, we are certainly living in extraordinary times that will require us to become the fullest and most unique beings we are meant to be.  We each have something that needs to be expressed, something that no other person on this planet, no one who has come before or will come after can express. Right now we need new ways of looking at old problems and to change old ways in order deal with new problems, so it’s more important than ever for you to do your own thang, because there is no other way to generate inspiration and birth innovation.

In any era it’s easy to get stuck in past habits and sucked into the zeitgeist of the day.  Resist the urge to follow the herd, fight to honor yourself, think and speak your own thoughts and begin to know and create yourself anew every moment of every day instead of getting swept up by social media, news, commercials, and even your peer groups, work and ethnic cultures or family and friends who are all, consciously or not, forces that can easily grab hold of your mind, body, spirit and/or bank account.  Don’t let your physical characteristics, family roots or societal dictates squash all the rhythms inside you that might be quite different from what those outside influences might have you believe, say or do.

Not sure exactly what your groove thing is? Give me a buzz and I’ll get you started with some basic choreography and point you in the right direction, because ultimately You Should Be Dancing your own steps throughout life, hopefully with a fun disco floor beneath your feet along the way!

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic, check out my posts:  Lucky Charms, A Fool’s Errand and New Rules.

Forgive But Never Forget

Since childhood, I have heard how important it is to forgive and forget, but like most people I do have a problem with following through with it. I am an easy going person, which often gives the impression that I can be taken advantage of, but I am also very observant and have a long memory, and will defend myself when someone tries to cross the line with me. I can forgive those transgressions, even if the other person is unapologetic. I do this by not holding a grudge and just having better manners overall. The forgetting part is something I do not think is necessary or right. Why should I forget the situation if it has taught me a valuable lesson? Forgetting makes it possible for the transgressed to be wronged many more times in the future.

I think this particularly true in abusive relationships; forgiving abusive behavior has to be reciprocated by the permanent end of that behavior through whatever means necessary. I have family and friends who have told me they forgave a significant other or family member for their mental and/or physical abuse, but it almost always re-occurs, and often worse than it was before. As a child and teenager I was often the target of bullies, both in my own family and at school, and have never forgotten what I went through. I believe that is the reason why I am not subject to that behavior as an adult, which I am grateful for. I convey this message to those who are still being victimized; my advice is usually not taken, but I feel good knowing that I have shared my feelings about these particular situations.

What your thoughts on forgiveness? Do you think forgetting the situation is key to the process of letting go?

Passing the Turkey*

This is one of my favorite past blog entries, originally posted November 24, 2008.  I've gotten much better at cooking Thanksgiving since then, and it has officially become my holiday...however this year I'm not the one cooking. So I'm going to reminisce via the internet:

My parents are coming in for Thanksgiving again this year. Thanksgiving has become my holiday, ever since I cooked my first turkey for my parents and brother in my tiny NYC studio apartment eight years ago. Ever since, I've remained the host of our T-Day meal. Even when we've been at my parents', it's still my show. I cook, carve, bake, and serve. And I love doing it.

I have fond memories of the big extended family Thanksgiving, cooked by mom and aunts and grandma, while the other adults watched football, and we kids scrambled around in the backyard until called. We set a cheerful table and the food appeared – a warm, delicious smorgasbord of dishes not to be seen again for a year.

The original magic of Thanksgiving is somewhat gone for me, now that I know how the stuffing gets into the bird, so to speak. But in its place, I've come to cherish the ability to create something pleasing for people I love. I've done it enough to feel comfortable, even confident, and to put most of my performance-anxiety aside. I no longer worry about ruining the bird (wouldn’t be the end of the world) or keeping people waiting to eat (it can ever be perfectly timed). I have finally hit my stride.

Each year, I find myself begging less and less wisdom from my mother’s experience. My mom doesn’t enjoy cooking, so she was happy to hand this off to me. Neither of us looked back. But I notice something larger going on. The rolling of generations. Soon enough, it’s likely I'll be "mom," and she'll become "grandma," and though those titles seem far away, we have already taken the first steps down an inevitable road.

I contemplate this while chopping and basting: the passage of time, and the changes we must go through. It’s a good feeling – nostalgia for what was, and anticipation of what might be ahead. A torch is being passed, from one generation to the next. Though, I guess in our case, you could say we're passing the turkey.

When My World Stopped

On Election Day last week, I went through one of the scariest moments of my life, which almost prevented me from voting that day. When most people were wondering if President Obama would be re-elected or not, my siblings and I were dealing with my Mom’s sudden medical emergency on her way to California to visit my sister and brother-in-law, which caused her plane to be diverted to Denver, Colorado so she could receive immediate medical attention. I almost fainted when an airline attendant called me from my Mom’s cell phone to tell me what was happening. I heard the paramedics in the background talking to my Mom and to each other as they prepared to take her off the plane as I kept asking if I could talk to her. Finally, the flight attendant told me she unconscious, which is when I almost dropped the phone. It was then that my world stopped; all I cared about was my Mom.

While I was calling the hospital and the airline to trace my Mom’s luggage as she requested, I heard news on the radio and TV about people standing on long lines around the region to vote, which was just background noise to me at the time. I only made it to the polls five minutes before they closed, and that was only when I knew she would be released from the hospital and checked in to a nice hotel arranged and paid for by the airline that night. If the situation wasn’t resolved that day, I would not have cared if I missed the chance to cast my ballot. I think anyone in a similar situation with a loved one would feel the same.

Thankfully, my story had a happy ending, but I know I am no better than those with in similar situations with unfortunate conclusions. I am grateful that Mom is OK, and hope to avoid anything like it again, if possible.

Can you multi-task when uncertain and scary personal situations strike?

CHICK OF THE WEEK: Kate Bialo

Can you imagine sleeping on the floor – eating off boxes – storing your belongings in plastic bags? Sadly, there are many families right here in Westchester who cannot afford a bed to sleep on or a table to share a family meal.

Kate Bialo, resident of Larchmont, NY, is an attorney by training, a past President of the Junior League of Westchester on the Sound (JLWOS) and a long-time community volunteer. Through her volunteer work, she was aware of the great number of families in need in Westchester and was dismayed at all the furniture being put at the curb, so in 2007, she founded Furniture Sharehouse, Westchester's Furniture Bank, to put the two together. With seed money from JLWOS and grant money from the County, in 2007, she and a group of volunteers established a warehouse at the Westchester County Airport to collect gently-used furniture and redistribute it to needy families referred by social service agencies. Since 2007, they have distributed over 28,000 items of free furniture to more than 5,800 people who didn't have a bed to sleep on or a table to share a meal.

You know we at CHICKS ROCK! can't get enough of awesome women making a difference, so we want you to help Kate out:

Furniture Sharehouse has the opportunity to win $25,000 to support its operations. Kate has been selected as one of ten L’Oreal Paris 2012 Women of Worth, an honor which includes $10,000 for Furniture Sharehouse, and the Honoree who receives the most on-line votes between now and November 21st will receive an additional $25,000 for her organization.

So PLEASE HELP! You can VOTE DAILY (one daily vote per unique e-mail address) at this link: http://www.womenofworth.com/honorees/honoreesdetail.aspx?id=Kate_Bialo&yr=2012&

PLEASE HELP BY VOTING AND BY SPREADING THE WORD TO FAMILY, FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES. Thank you!

My Life as a Female Soldier in Iraq

In honor of Veteran's Day, we thought we'd share this TWM Spring 2008 eNewsletter article where we reviewed our special TWM Signature Panel Series event marking the 5th anniversary of the war in Iraq featuring women who had recently served in our armed forces both there and in Afghanistan. You can read about the event itself in more detail as it was featured in Women's eNews, on Divine Caroline and TWM's Inspirer Newsletter.

MY LIFE AS A FEMALE SOLDIER IN IRAQ

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

Our panelists left to right: First Lieutenant Jennifer Karakat (Army), Sergeant Chrissy DeCaprio (Marines), Sergeant Carolyn Schapper (Army); Specialist Petty Officer Emily Stroia (Navy), Staff Sergeant Luz Gonzalez (Army) and our moderator Adaora Udoji, co-host of The Takeaway on WNYC/PRI

On Tuesday, March 11th TWM brought together a diverse panel of women who have served in the armed forces for an intimate look at the military culture from a female perspective, exploring the issues that these women have had to deal with abroad, and how they have been able to integrate and re-adjust back to their life at home.   Thanks to all who participated in this conversation!

 Below you can read some of the responses from those who attended and link to published articles about it as well. 

My Life as a Female Soldier in Iraq is by far one of the best programs I've ever attended. Not only was I able to develop a greater appreciation for these women as strong, competent role models, but the personal tone was much more refreshing than the usual political one. Even when questions were posed that might at first seem political were really still about the women's personal experiences and the thoughts they have about the lives of their fellow soldiers. - Sally M.

This event was excellent. I thought that it would be anti-American and a lot of griping - but instead I took away a feeling of admiration and respect for these women. The format gave both speakers and audience a chance to participate. It was very enlightening - Great job!  -  Carol Anne P.

 The opportunity to hear women of such varied backgrounds was really eye-opening.  - Linda K.

I just wanted to send out a small note expressing how touched I was last night. I found myself reflecting on my grandmother throughout the whole evening - she served in the military in the 1940's during World War II, where she met and married my grandfather, who was in the military as well. Last night, I looked at the women who serve today, and the struggles they encounter and barriers they conquer. It made me so proud of what my grandmother had accomplished. I look back on what a strong a women she must have been to serve when it was extremely uncommon for women to enlist; I also realized how far women have come in society, and how much further we still have to go. - Lisette M.

I am honored to be my mother's child, who served as a Lieutenant in the Indian Army as a nurse.  Seeing her struggles and what she went through to become the success she is today has influenced me to be the woman I strive to be, or at least half of what my mother is.  That said, having the opportunity to sit on a panel and speak openly and honestly about my own experiences in the military has made me realize that sharing our stories allows us to speak of our shining moments.  SSG Luz Gonzalez and I spoke of who and what we would be if it were not for the military and I felt such a connection with her (and the other women, who I could not be more in awe of).  I knew I was meant to meet her and relate to her and vice versa.  - Jenny K.

While most of the mainstream media continue to focus on scandals and corruption, it was a welcome relief to see and hear from some of the women who have lived un-glamorous and dangerous lives in service to this country. Regardless of how any of us feel about the War in Iraq, it is important to have events like "My Life as a Female Soldier in Iraq" to remember and honor that small, but significant minority of women who continue to change attitudes about gender in the U.S. military.  - Pauline K.

 

TO READ MORE ABOUT THIS EVENT:

CLICK HERE FOR THE WOMENSENEWS ARTICLE 

CLICK HERE FOR THE DIVINECAROLINE ARTICLE 

TWM's INSPIRER NEWSLETTER PAGE 1 & 6

              

Iron Jawed Angels

In addition to Sally's helpful post, check out the HBO flick "Iron Jawed Angels" that TWM held a screening of in 2004.  It's a powerful depiction of what the end of the women's sufferage movement experienced to give us this precious right that we hope all of you are exercising today!

Click here for a synopsis on Wikipedia, too.

Election Day 2012

I don't know about you, but Election Day sort of snuck up on me! But you all know how important it is for me, so I'm sharing my absolute favorite voter resource to help you get the vote out today: 866OurVote.org helps you find your polling location, report problems, look up voter ID laws in your state, and more!

Oh Sandy

As everyone knows, New York has just been through a terrible storm that has brought the city to a stand-still. It didn't affect any of us the same way but it has certainly affected all of us. My Brooklyn neighborhood was practically untouched, as was the upper Manhattan neighborhood I holed up in just hours before the storm, but I know a lot of people who weren't as lucky. Power outages, flooded homes, trees knocked down everywhere; these are the things my friends and family have been reporting back when I check in on them. So even if you're one of the lucky ones, chances are that you're close to somebody who wasn't nearly as lucky.

It's incredible how the city changes during an emergency. There are the people complaining about inconveniences like the MTA shutting down; you have stores closing everywhere for days; and of course people are scrambling to get home or to figure out who they like enough to spend 48+ hours with. Everything is eerily calm and quiet. Once it's all over, you're happy to see your favorite bagel shop is open again, while the wine store across the street promises they'll be up and running by mid-afternoon. But then you find out that churches are calling people's homes to check in on all of them... and they aren't hearing from everyone.

As emergencies and disasters often do, this storm reminds us that we need to stick together in order to get through terrible circumstances. If there's any silver lining at all, it's learning that people will empathize and help whenever and however they can.

FRIDAY FORUM: Spooky Sights

Halloween is coming up next Wednesday. Some people go all out celebrating, and some couldn't care less when it's October 31st. What is your life like on this unique holiday? Do you dress up in a costume? Do you decorate?

Careful Correspondence

I was recently involved in a confusing situation at work, which involved an email I sent to provide guidance being misunderstood and causing the recipient to take offense. While that was not my intention, I can see why the tone of my correspondence was misconstrued. My company stood behind me, while at the same time suggesting I be more aware of my tone in my emails. I agree that this is something that I must do (as do most of us), especially since most of our interpersonal interactions happen via email, text, and social media. I decided to analyze my actions further so I do not make the same mistakes in the future.

First, I think understanding where the other person/party is coming from before getting into specific details is important. I only had one conversation with my now former client and his wife, and noticed the latter was much more talkative. I also discovered that they had different goals in mind than those provided by their company. This particular point should have made me contact my supervisor directly to alert her of this discrepancy immediately. While I did report the issue, I did not emphasize its seriousness to my company. While I am glad not to have brought it up during my conversation with the couple, I should have paused to clear up the confusion immediately with my company before moving forward.

I also wish I contacted my supervisor about an email she sent me to forward to the client about a sensitive matter. Because I went ahead and sent the email without realizing how it may be interpreted, I put myself in an awkward situation. I believe I should not have been given the task, because it was an issue to be settled between my company's and my client’s companies’ managerial and human resources departments. I will remember this in the future should a similar situation arise.

I am glad the situation is over, but others always arise to present new challenges. How do you handle the challenges of maintaining careful correspondence?

FRIDAY FORUM: Reading Material

All of us at CHICKS ROCK! enjoy reading--books, magazines, blogs, news--you name it, we devour it. We each have favorite things to read, and we have widely different preferences for what genres or type of reading material we enjoy. How about you? What do you like to read?

CHICK OF THE WEEK: Candy Crowley

Where Jim Lehrer failed, Candy Crowley succeeded. Regardless of your feelings about the U.S. presidential election, the first two televised debates and their respective moderators, can we all agree that Ms. Crowley did a far better job standing up to the candidates when needed? They made it very difficult at times to move from topic to topic and question to question, but she really did stand her ground with both of them. Some have called her pushy (somehow, I do not think a male counterpart would be described in the same way) but she did her job, and did it well.

Do you agree?

The Ups And Downs of Public Speaking

Watching the second presidential debate last night made me think about my own public speaking skills. Like many others, I have trouble expressing myself effectively in front of a crowd. I notice that President Obama, Mitt Romney and many other politicians running for public office do not answer the main thesis of certain questions when put on the spot during debates; this annoys me, but I think I may have been guilty of something similar in the past. I certainly hope I have improved my ability to get to the point and not drone on like some people do. The art of public speaking really is all about being concise and focused when giving a speech or answering questions.

My ups and downs with public speaking started when I was in elementary school. Each time I had to give a speech on a topic, my resolve to do well would crumble when the class bully would make faces and mutter snide comments to make me feel uncomfortable. When my ineffectual teachers would ask me questions in front of my classmates about the points made during my speech, I would give clumsy answers and prove that I wanted to be anywhere but in front of them. I retreated further into my shell, not wanting to raise my hand to answer a question in class when I knew the answer or have anyone take notice of me at all.

I began to break the cycle in college when I took a public speaking course that forced me to face my fears. My professor encouraged us to use our strengths to make us more comfortable with oral communication in our personal and professional lives. I think this class made it easier to speak to a group of overseas-bound ESL teachers about my experience in Indonesia, and later for my sister’s wedding. I am my own worst critic, but I think I did reasonably well in those two situations.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the art of public speaking!

FRIDAY FORUM: Autumn Weather

By mid-October our school and work lives are typically back in full swing after summer vacation and time away. The return of those rhythms, plus the oncoming change of weather definitely symbolize fall. How's the autumn weather in your neck of the woods?

FRIDAY FORUM: Street Treats

I don't know what it's like where you live, but in New York the fall is a prime time for street fairs. Stroll down one of these decked-out avenues and you'll find artists with wares on display, businesses offering discounts, live music playing, and vendors selling tasty, fatty snacks like hot dogs, popcorn, elephant ears, and cotton candy. Have you been to a street fair or carnival lately? What is your favorite street food?

Link Love for 10/4/2012

It's time for another great round-up of great links! Let's jump right into the mix, shall we?

Alexia Vernon shares to how she moves past fear and involuntary physical expressions that can get in the way of communicating effectively with others when it counts.  

Girl w/Pen discusses Half the Sky, the two-part PBS documentary inspired by the non-fiction book   written by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, which focuses on gender-based violence in a pragmatic, "everywoman" way.

In Good Company shares how her sense of agency led to her achievements as the creator and owner of various businesses.  

One Writeous Chick explores the nuances of writer's block in her life, particularly how she makes herself write when her voice is the problem.

Savvy Ladies' tips to sticking to a healthy diet within a budget are invaluable, especially for those at risk for serious health problems.

What have you all been reading and writing online in the last few weeks? Be sure to leave links in the comments.

Renovations And Revelations

Since last month, I have been working with a contractor who is finishing renovations on an apartment in New York City that my family owns. It was something I did not expect to take the lead on, but I have enjoyed the process overall. There was some stress when it came to deadlines on choosing a bathroom vanity and light fixtures for the bathroom and kitchen by certain dates, but I have enjoyed imagining what the completed apartment will look like when everything is done. Before the renovations began, the apartment had a leaky faucet, dark walls that made the space feel smaller than it is, and an uncomfortably small kitchen. Now the plumbing has been completely re-done, the walls are a sunny yellow color, and the kitchen is part of an open floor plan that flows into the living room. It is a great space now, and I am glad to have contributed to making it that way.

While I am planning to live there, it will not be forever; every choice I made is in mind to increase the value of the apartment if it has to be sold in the near future, which is likely. I followed a budget, which was the hardest thing to do when prices of certain items were higher than I wanted them to be. Thankfully, the contractor I worked with guided me in the right direction by providing various options and price points on things like kitchen countertops, appliances, and refurbishing the bathtub instead of replacing it. I am grateful that he did his job so well AND educated me about what to pay attention to during the renovations.

The refrigerator has yet to be delivered, and there a few final details that need to be completed, but I can safely say the bulk of the work is done. I look forward to enjoying the apartment while I still have it, and will look forward to renovations’ projects that come my way in the future.

Do renovations’ projects put you off, or do you welcome the challenges they bring?