Dealing With External Pressures

In one of my first posts, I spoke candidly about the pressures women endure to marry from their families, especially those from traditional cultures. I feel the need to bring up the subject again, because I was the target of some bias during my recent trip to India.

First of all, I am really proud of the way I handled myself. There were a few relatives I met who treated me differently during my visit, and I knew it had to do with my unmarried status and having been born and raised in the United States (yes, there is anti-American sentiment shared by some members of my extended family) but I did not feel or act guilty. Why should I? It is who I am, and I make no apologies for being single or being an American with Indian roots. The former may change in the future; none of us knows what fate has in store for us. But being an American? I am proud to be one, without being obnoxious about it, and always will be.

Secondly, I have noticed that blame has been thrown at my parents, particularly my Mom. This is one aspect of the situation that really bothers me. I have my own views about life which are separate from my parents' views. They want me to marry, and I would like to get married one day too, but I am determined to find a person who is right for me, and vice versa. I am not going to fret about something I do not have at present; what is the point? My life is my own, and my parents have little to do with my present and future choices. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops when I was visiting certain people in India, but I restrained myself. I knew it would be a waste of my time.

I did enjoy my trip overall, but like an elephant (my favorite animal), I won’t forget the bad as well as the good experiences.

How do you effectively handle external pressures? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!