The following was originally posted on July 18, 2011. It is being reposted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective:
I'm in Vermont, writing from the road. I'm sure I've posted about this before, but I love traveling by car. I love to drive, love to ride, anything that gets me on the road is good in my book. It's one of my small, weird dreams to finally own a car someday. You really don't need one in New York, so it'll be a long time coming, but when I go out of the city and get to drive, it makes me genuinely hunger for the ability to do it more often.
It's expensive and silly to own a car while I'm living in the city. So, is the idea of owning a car a good enough reason to move my whole life to a place where a personal vehicle is more necessary and practical? Intellectually, I suppose not, but every time I get behind the wheel, I think to myself, YES! IT IS. But there's a little thought in the back of my mind: what if I get sick of it? What if easy access to a car bursts the bubble of my vehicular fantasies? Why do I want this so badly?
As a teen in the Midwest, I wanted a car because driving represented independence, self-sufficiency and freedom from the whims and clutches of my parents. Now, I have all those things in spades. Do I really need a car? No. "But I want one," says the petulant teenager within.
I joke about this desire so often that over time, I've realized it's a genuine dream that I hold. I want a car, despite its impracticality in my current life. How do I deal with something like this? I certainly don't allow myself to indulge every expensive desire I ever have. In fact, I've given up a variety of economically-satisfying and practical trajectories in favor of other, bigger dreams. Should I go after the small ones, too?
How much does the size of your dreams matter when you decide which ones you're going to pursue?