Carte Blanche

  

The following was originally posted on December 5, 2014 on Kristina's blog.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a coach and speaker in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.  

You can follow her @clearlykristina and like her Personal Growth Gab (PGG) page on Facebook to get more thought-provoking, inspirational and motivational tidbits like this!

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When traveling by myself in Cape Town, South Africa in 2001, just seven years after the end of apartheid, I had a major aha moment while having tea in the lobby of the historic, old-world luxury Mount Nelson Hotel.

Feeling somewhat awkward in my solo budget travel state, I was in the midst of sipping Earl Grey when something clicked within me on the most profound of levels. It occurred to me that due to the mere fact my skin was white - with the bonus of having blonde hair at the time - I was essentially given free rein to go wherever I desired and do whatever I wanted, and no one would ever question me, look at me strangely, or think I didn't belong. 

 

Yes, I was in one of the most segregated countries on the planet, but it really struck me that this applied in a broader context - no matter where I go, simply because of the color of my skin, along with being tall and dressing reasonably well, in addition to being educated and American, I enjoy a certain level of trust, respect (well, this was just before 9/11) and service, and almost always inadvertently avoid outright discrimination and bodily harm, even as a woman (which itself is topic for another discussion, since that is only a very recent phenomena and may apply to less places, but I digress...).

 

Suddenly the phrase "carte blanche," which literally translates as "white card," came into my head and I immediately made the connection to the District Six Museum's display of various ID cards for citizens under that classified system:  White, Coloured, Black, and Indian.  In the United States, and in a global sense, it is an invisible card I carry that gives me entree, ease and yes, a certain unearned privilege, to live a life free of so many stresses, layers of misperceptions, institutionalized prejudice, fear, bias and/or hatred the majority of those of darker shades must endure, and are too often endangered by.

 

I realize in telling you this story I may sound naive, but you have to know this came at a time to someone who from childhood in theory, and more than ten years prior to that moment in practice, was not only quite aware of, but particularly passionate about, the issue of racial inequality and had many interpersonal experiences, observations and relationships informing a significant understanding of the complexities all that entails - earlier that year I had even started a non-profit organization to dispel stereotypes and bigotry in order to bring women together to "Recognize Our Unity" and "Celebrate Our Diversity". 

But being in a place where racism had so recently been explicitly acknowledged and addressed in such a direct manner brought this concept home to me in a way that up until that point in my life, because I am White, had only been subtly perceptible, and even then, only because I was sensitive to the issue.


A couple of years later while waiting in the cold for an MTA bus on First Avenue in the East Village I got to experience this overtness in reverse. Two Black women chose to ditch the delayed public transportation, and I watched in disbelief as two, three, five, six open taxis passed by as they tried to hail them; disgusted, I asked if they needed help, and of course the next cab stopped for me but when the driver realized the Black women, not me, were getting in, he drove away.  Finally I asked where they were going; I was so appalled I decided I would just get in and share it with them. Of course the irony was that they were only going to 78th between First and Second, probably one of the whitest blocks in the city...It was perhaps the closest I will come to know what it must feel like to deal with race on a daily basis, simply trying to accomplish the most mundane of tasks.


Fast forward to February 2012. After my talk at the NY Science, Industry and Business Library a young Black man came up to thank me for what I had shared, how it made him think differently about his life, and pointed out to me what he had written down so he could make positive change going forward. He then said he had recently been released from federal prison, would I be willing to work with people like him?  Well, this began a journey in which I learned more specifically about the consequences of race and the criminal justice system, the roots of mass incarceration and the many barriers to re-entry. It has since widened and deepened my understanding of the unhealed wounds, scars and repercussions of our country's history of slavery.


What we are dealing with in the aftermath of injustice after injustice against people of color are symptoms of a very sick system that is made up of people, and people are crying out for transformation and healing. It is not a Black problem; it is not a White problem. It is a human problem. No matter what card-carrying member of our race you proclaim (or are deemed) to be, we're all in this man-made mess together - and we will only solve it one story, one interaction, one aha moment at a time.  

  

The Wisdom of Childhood

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome Patricia as a guest blogger this week. 

Patricia Philippe is a Haitian-American writer, creative writing workshop facilitator and marketing consultant living in the Bronx. Currently she blogs about the journey of re-inventing herself after years as a caregiver and is working on a number of writing and teaching related projects.

When I reflect on my life, I notice that the common threads of curiosity, exploration, and courage have always been present. There’s a Polaroid from my childhood that I look at when I begin to wonder if I am being authentic. At about eight years old, my twin sister and I stand in front of a building with a pale yellow tiled façade. We pose shyly in our matching orange plaid coats. My head is tilted to the side, eyes lifted up to the sky, a classic Patricia is in the deep thought pose that my friends recognize even today. I imagine my eight-year-old self thinking there are issues in the world to solve, stories to make up, and new things to explore. Wondering what to do about the things my eyes witness but don’t understand how to fix.

After college, I signed up for the Peace Corps. Images of starving children beckoned me. Thoughts of teaching English enticed me. But I didn’t go. I was afraid. There was healing that needed to take place before I could be present in an inspiring way for anyone else.

Fast forward 20 years and you’ll meet me, a woman who feels like she’s walked a thousand miles in the desert with 100-degree sun scorching her naked flesh. She experimented. She learned. She thrived. After completing personal development programs about transformation, living authentically, healing from the past and choosing self-care, I consider that perhaps I have always known who I am.

My name is Patricia Philippe. I am a writer. A healer. A teacher. In September, I will volunteer with VoiceFlame in Malawi, Africa to lead writing groups for orphaned girls and village women. Writing my story has allowed me to channel the wisdom of that little girl who contemplated how to make silk thread from broken glass.

I found my voice through writing. The project in Malawi supports others in the discovery of their own strong, unique voices. Click here to learn more or to make a donation to sponsor me; I greatly appreciate your support.

Dancing Towards Your Dreams

Growing up, I was the super quiet kid in the corner, reading a book or writing a story. The only time I made a sound was when I sang. F​​rom elementary school through high school, I was in musicals, chorus, and even ended up with a solo my senior year of high school. That solo was the absolute thrill and highlight of my singing life​​ (and, sadly, there's no documentation of it whatsoever).

It was also the second to last time I sang in public for 10 years.

What happened? Well, fear and panic and “I’m not going to be a singer so I can’t major in that” and “I’m probably not even that good of a singer so why bother?” The longer I stayed on my self-imposed singing hiatus, the bigger the fear grew, and the harder it was to get back to it. I missed it SO MUCH. I felt incomplete without it. But I couldn’t get over my fear. Looking back, I’m actually incredibly sad – like, crying-as-I-remember-and-write-this sad.

A couple of years ago, fate and my intuition took over and I quieted my fears long enough to sign up for The Singing Experience. It was wonderful; I had a blast and I remembered that the joy of singing on a stage far outshined the voices in my head telling me I’m not good enough. After that, I signed up for voice lessons with various wonderful teachers and coaches, and I performed three more times.

This year, I knew I needed to do what I didn't really think possible as a little girl but wanted more than anything: to sing on stage in front of people I love for a whole show. Me, a microphone, an awesome band, and maybe some tears. (The tears weren’t in the little girl’s vision, but wiser me realizes they’re likely.)

I have three days left to raise the $7,380 I need to make this show happen and make that dream come true. I know I’m asking for a miracle here because I have more than $5,000 to go and just three days to get there, but I’m committed to seeing this through.

If you can make any donation at all, big or small, I’d be beyond grateful. And if you could share it with friends, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, co-workers, that person who flirts with you sometimes, whoever, I’d be beyond grateful.

May you keep dancing towards your own dreams – it’s really never too late.

Why I'm Feeling Lighter (And, Apparently, Looking Younger)

It seems to me that one of the hardest things to do is to be fully, confidently, unapologetically authentic in every area of your life. I have grappled with the question of who I am and how I express that to others my entire life. I spent most of that time holding back: not letting myself be too loud, too confident, too emotional, too honest, too whatever. I also didn't spend my time or money or energy in ways that inspired and fueled me; it didn't occur to me until a couple of years ago that how you spend your time and your money is how you spend your life.

Since then - and especially in the last few months - I have started to let that go. And, boy, do I feel lighter!

Instead of constantly wondering what the other person is thinking or how they'll react, I just speak my truth. And since I make a conscious effort to spend my time, money, and energy on what I feel is an expression of my authenticity instead of on what makes me feel "meh" or drained, I'm happier, calmer, and more centered. Whether it's a dance break, a manicure, or prioritizing a doctor's appointment, I fill my life as much as I can with what's true to me.

Just a couple of weeks ago, a friend I hadn't seen in a couple of months asked me what I was doing that had me looking so young and vibrant. I was so surprised, I didn't know what to say. "Um... I'm happier???"

Since experiencing this change in myself and in some of the women I know, I've become passionate with helping others reconnect with their authenticity and show up as all of who they are. I talk to so many women whose lives are compartmentalized, or who get blocked by fear and memories from the past when they try to express themselves.

I teamed up with a few friends who are also passionate about authentic expression to put together an all-day workshop/dance party. It's this Saturday in Brooklyn and I'm so excited, I could burst! It's going to be an inspiring, empowering, magical event. If you know you're ready to rediscover and celebrate your authenticity, join me!

For The Love Of Her Brother

For the past several weeks, my Mom's older brother has been very ill, and after a lot of debate, she finally decided to fly to Kerala, India to see him today. The reason for the back and forth is because she undergoes injections once a week to treat her many allergies, which include dust and other airborne allergens. My Uncle has the same type of condition, and never had injections or any other similar treatment; this most likely contributed to his current condition. Mom told me that when she visited him last fall, both of them coughed so much that they sometimes did so in unison; one of their hired drivers even commented on this during a day trip he accompanied them on. Now, my Uncle is in the hospital, and my Mom is risking some of the progress she has made with her health so far to visit him in India, especially during the monsoon season. I know that she must go see him now, in spite of the obstacles.

Mom has always told me that her older brother helped and guided her when their own parents were unable to do so. He has a wonderful combination of compassion and intelligence, which my Mom and so many other people admire and respect him for. When they were younger, my Mom and her older brother were lucky enough to live together when they had to move to their uncle's house. Living in that environment was very difficult, but they relied on each other for support, love and friendship, especially during their darkest days. Mom remembers him walking hand in hand with her to church when she was three and a half years old, playing hide and seek in a rubber tree forest when she was six, and standing up to their father when she wanted to become a nurse (rather than a nun or a wife) at the age of seventeen. My Uncle is more than just her older brother; he is her hero, advocate, and dearest friend. I really admire their relationship, because it is special and beautiful.

My Uncle has always had a talent for writing, which is where I think I got my interest from. There is definitely something to be said about hereditary influences, especially since I don't know him as well as I would like to. The few times I have been lucky enough to visit him were great, because he is one of a handful of relatives from my parents' generation who speaks English very well. When I met him as an adult, I noticed how his eyes would light up every time he talked about my Mom, or was in her presence. They have had some ups and downs of course, but the love and respect they have for one another is stronger and more deep-rooted. Thousands of miles have kept them physically apart for long periods of time, but their relationship remains in tact. So while I am a little concerned about my Mom going to India because of her health issues, I know that there is no way she can stay away from her brother during his present crisis. He is a lovely human being with a great intellect, who also happens to be one of my Mom's greatest influences. For that, and so many other things, I am forever grateful.

Vision Quest

TWM's Visioning Workshop

When the Universe speaks, I listen. Not in a burning-bush-on-a-mountain kind of way, but through some combination of random Facebook postings, TV shows/commercials, signs both literal and figurative and people, known and unknown.  Always repetitive.

In fact, most of the time I try to think as little as possible, and instead pay very close attention to the world within and around me to get the answers/direction I need. I find that the best information we have often exists in this 3D experiential form more so than in the grey matter between our ears, and that there is much wisdom in receiving and perceiving what comes our way. (Plus it's more fun and takes less effort to operate like this!)

Anyway, after the stock market crashed, 'it' hinted to me in several ways that I should start some sort of group thing; when a third person, point blank raised his hand in my breakout session at an NYU symposium for laid-off financial professionals and asked "Can you put a group together?" I could no longer ignore the request. So exactly 5 years ago this month, Thursdays at Three was born and has been going strong without a break ever since - first weekly afternoons during the height of the recession, and then eventually bi-monthly with an evening session for folks who had found employment but asked to continue with coaching and support, and for others who wanted to make a career change or simply manage their work and life better.
 
It's been quite the journey - and one of the most rewarding and important things I've done to grow both personally and professionally. It has made me a far better coach and facilitator, so thank you to all have participated, especially those four brave souls who ventured out and trusted me that first day! (Click here for info about the next session)

As many of you know, my path has been a long and varied one. In January 2001 I founded a nonprofit organization called The Women's Mosaic (TWM) after a lot of soul searching and the result of a random workshop I picked from a Learning Annex catalog out of sheer desperation four months earlier. Among other things, that workshop was exactly what I needed to confirm and crystallize an idea that was floating around in my subconscious - 13 years,100 events, a coaching and speaking career later, the rest is history!

Of course when I told people how I started TWM, they all wanted to do the workshop, so we began offering it twice a year with amazing and profound results, attracting many repeat attendees with incredible stories throughout. The last one was in September 2012 and had been on indefinite hiatus since. But, the past month, after various signs, in combo with not one, not two, but then a third person within a few weeks asked me when we were doing another I knew it was time - which means that many of you out there need this experience and it's no coincidence that you are reading this right now!

I've already gone on too long in this PGG, so I will just let the video, invite and blog posts speak for themselves as well as these participant descriptions:

"TWM's Visioning Workshop is a great way to spark personal growth by getting in tune with your inner-most desires. By putting aside what you think you want for yourself, and, instead, going with your gut, it is amazing what you fill find! The Visioning Workshop came for me at a time when I was trying to decide where to go with my life, and I am so glad I did it. Throughout the workshop, I was forced to believe in what I was doing and trust myself completely, and since then I have been able to look back on my collage for more guidance, for which I am very grateful. I highly recommend the Visioning Workshop for anyone trying to answer the simplest or most complex questions for themselves." Sally M. 

"When I was doing my collage I was thinking about my future and about my job search...and it actually happened. I got a job in a fashion industry where everybody smiles and are very happy with their lives - as it was on my collage!!!! ...I cannot really believe that it actually worked for me so well and cannot wait to see what happens next!!! Thank you so much for this wonderful experience!" Joanna G. 

"I think of the collage I created at the Visioning Workshop as a map of my unconscious mind. At the time of the workshop, I was in a transitional phase and in need of guidance. The collage helped me to gain a sense of calm and clarity. I especially enjoyed taking a break from the intellectual, thinking side of my brain and opening up the side that is more intuitive. The visual representations of my thoughts and ideas gave me a sense of peace that I could move forward with confidence. I look forward to doing another collage soon. Suzanne G. 

"Great!  The workshop helped me to clarify what success looks like to me." Sheraun B

 Are you one of those folks who are supposed to be there on Saturday, April 26th?  You don't need some shamanic ceremony or 80's movie to help you decide.  Just listen to your Self, pay attention to the signs and heed the call to make some big changes in your life - this is simply a way to fast-track the process!

P.S. Yes, there are only women in the video, but men are most welcome to attend as well. You need some visioning, too!  :)

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The following was originally posted on April 8, 2014 on Kristina's blog. 

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a coach and speaker in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.  

You can follow her @clearlykristina and like her Personal Growth Gab (PGG) page on Facebook to get more thought-provoking, inspirational and motivational tidbits like this!

When Familiarity Breeds Contempt

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 
― Maya Angelou

Recently, I have been wondering about a certain pitfall of human nature that occurs within families, friendships, marriages, and other close relationships; it is when people (who should know better) turn against those close to them when they did nothing to deserve it. Since last month, someone very close to me has been a target of this type of unfair treatment, even after repeatedly telling and showing the "offended" party that she was not against them and wanted to keep the peace. I would have ignored it if it happened once or even twice, but she was barraged with accusations, which increased my annoyance with the situation. It all had to do with a much anticipated visit from a relative from overseas, how the news was shared with certain people and not others, and where he wanted to stay when he was here. This caused some unfortunate, long-standing family tensions to come forth. While I know he had a good visit, I also know he definitely would have enjoyed his time here much more without all of the unnecessary drama.

I have learned to deal with this treatment when the target is me; the last time it happened was late last year, when I overheard a conversation in which I was mentioned in dismissive and cruel terms. I was shocked at first, because I had just seen and had a pleasant time with this person, who I have known and loved for almost my whole life. After thinking about it for a little while, I realized that no matter how much I have and will always love and care for this person, she has always had an underlying feeling of contempt towards me, maybe because I remind her of a past she wants to forget. I may never really know why. Soon after the incident, I moved on, because I knew it had nothing to do with me; it had to with her feelings and perceptions. Our relationship may never be the same again, but at least I can say I have forgiven her; I will never forget it, because I learned some invaluable lessons from the experience.

I have observed that these conflicts often originate from the accusers' personal insecurities and skewed perceptions. Secure people don't have to attack those who did nothing to them. Fear of losing control, fear of the past or unknown, and/or maybe even envy or jealousy, can create major havoc in relationships. When I see people creating these negative dramas for themselves and others, I want to shake them and say, "Stop it! Life is too short for this nonsense!" But for those who act in these ways, trying to reason with them while they are in an unreasonable state will not work. The best thing to do is to take a step back, and refuse to engage in argumentative behavior that will not solve anything. When confronted, the best thing to do is to stand your ground, tell the truth, be diplomatic, and then walk away from the confrontation if nothing is working. Hopefully the accusers will calm down, stop hurling accusations, and maybe even apologize for their behavior. Maybe.

I may annoy and even anger some people I know with this post, but I think it is a subject worth talking about, and I wrote the truth. I know I can't be the only one who has experienced this kind of treatment, both directly and indirectly. The moral to this post is that even when you mean well and treat others with respect and kindness, there will always be someone who will take offense to those who don't offend for a variety of "reasons." Staying true to who you are is the best defense.

If you have any thoughts, please share them!

(Wo)Man Up

The following was originally posted on March 8, 2011 on Kristina's blog.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week. Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a coach and speaker in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.  

You can follow her @clearlykristina and like her Personal Growth Gab (PGG) page on Facebook to get more thought-provoking, inspirational and motivational tidbits like this!
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We're about to celebrate  International Women’s Day so in honor of this occasion I’d like to give a special shout-out to all the men out there and encourage you to celebrate all the ways in which women make your lives better (i.e.check out my post from last week), acknowledge what you can learn from us, and inspire you to get in touch with your feminine side with unabashed pride.

 Dan Abrams just came out with a book called Man Down, a tome that provides extensive research proving how women are pretty much better at everything than men. Whether you believed that or not already, the key here is to remember that we are not in a Battle of the Sexes, but more that everyone, regardless of which gender you are identified or associate with, needs to demonstrate the best characteristics of both worlds.

But the reality is that most men have a problem expressing emotion, long considered a girly trait. The amazing irony is that as I am literally in the midst of writing this post (which has been planned for more than a day) I flip the channel to see the end of Charlie Rose interviewing David Brooks about his new book The Social Animal. Charlie, who is clearly an exception to this rule, admits how important it is for people to have the “power to express yourself and have emotional intelligence.” David comments how he, and most men, struggle with this and how he admires Bruce Springsteen as someone who is a ‘manly working class guy who can be emotional in a respectable way.’  (Thanks fellas for validating my post right as I type it!)

Most men will never know What It Feels Like For a Girl, so since this year the day also falls on Mardi Gras, what better excuse is there than to ‘dress’ in drag metaphorically and try your woman-like alter ego on for size.  I don’t mean like a full-on Tootsie or Mrs. Doubtfire, but more like the guys in I Love You, Man or The Boss in all his glory; allow yourself to be just a little more sensitive, intuitive, creative, and expressive of what it is you’re feeling. 

Whether your birth announcement was pink or blue, we all need to balance our Mickey with our Minnie, so give me a buzz and I’ll give you an opportunity and show you the way to make the most of all of who you are, without having to shave your legs, put on a fake moustache or become like SNL’s Pat

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic check out my posts: You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby?, Girl Power, I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar, Are You Gonna Go My Way?,Rage Against the Machine    

About The Violence Against Women In India

Since I first learned of the 2012 case of the brutal Delhi gang rape, which gained international attention, I was disturbed to learn of the rise in reports of similar crimes perpetrated towards Indians and foreigners. It was the attack on a Danish tourist near a popular shopping area in India's capital city last month that really made my blood run cold. Through my own research, I learned of other horrific cases of rape in India that are almost too overwhelming to comprehend. Some of them include a case of a Polish woman raped with her young daughter present in a taxi cab by the driver; a couple ambushed by a group of men while bicycling in Central India; and a nightmarish account of a woman who was raped by order her village council as punishment for who she chose to love. I have read and been told by Indian family members and friends that the increase in reports of rape are a result of more people coming forward to the authorities and the media; fear of reprisals from the perpetrators and being ostracized by their communities continue to be serious deterrents to justice.

As the daughter of first generation Americans who came from India, I have had mixed feelings about the country. As a child, all I knew about India from my two visits there were that I had many Indian relatives, the climate was very hot and rainy, vegetation was lush, and I was a mosquito magnet.  It was only during my last two visits to India as an adult that I learned to appreciate its many cultures, languages, customs, climates and landscapes. Like America, India is more diverse and complex than most people can comprehend, including myself.  Now, however, I am wondering if I will return to my parents' birth country any time soon.

It's not just fear that something horrible will happen to me or someone I know; it's the corruption and misogynistic attitudes that make progress in the prevention of these attacks and the aftermaths faced by victims slower than it should be. There are many wonderful, outspoken Indian women and men in the country facing this issue head-on, and now with more people reporting these attacks, the need for true reform in all levels of society is more vital than ever. As an outsider with some insider knowledge, I see how influential the Indian movie and TV industries could be in transforming some of the sexist, backward attitudes that have contributed to the extreme violence towards women in the country. Strategies like public service announcements that reach out to men and women of all ages would be great, as well as more positive stories of rape victims becoming survivors could make enormous positive impacts.

There are so many other things that need to happen, such as dealing with how families raise their sons and daughters; encouraging all people to report cases of abuse to the authorities; and revising academic, governmental, and medical institutions' policies on how to help survivors and their families. Unfortunately, I have heard too many stories of people who are further victimized by their communities after going public, and for me, that is unacceptable.

True, systematic change will not happen overnight, but I hope to see some significant reforms in my lifetime. After all, India transformed from a British colony into a democracy with a flourishing economy in a matter of decades. I know (as do so many others) that changes in India's cultural, social, and legal policies regarding all forms of abuse must happen, so the nation's progress into a brighter future will become a reality.

Dealing With The Extreme Cold

While dealing with another bout of frigid weather this month, I am even more determined not to let it affect my mood. I became a little paranoid a week before Christmas, when I fell on a patch of ice and sprained my arm. While I am relieved that the injury was only minor, I still feel anxious whenever I go outside to deal with the icy walking and driving conditions. Like so many of you, the heavy winds, shorter days, and less sunlight makes me wish I could hibernate all winter long. Since that is not practical or healthy, I have found other ways to prevent the cold from making me physically and emotionally immobile.

1. I make sure to get outside during the day, even if it is for a few minutes at a time. If I don't make it outside when the sun is shining, I feel lethargic. When the sunshine is obscured by clouds or fog throughout the day, then the next step is essential for me to combat sluggishness.

2. Everyone knows exercise is key for overall health. I try to run up and down stairs or do jumping jacks if I don't have a chance to do a proper work out, and it can be for 5-10 minutes several times a day. I find that it is helpful when I am working in front of my laptop for long periods of time. No fancy exercise equipment required!

3. Doing something new at least once a week is very important to me too. It doesn't have to be expensive, time consuming, or anything too elaborate; as long as I gain a new experience, it's completely worth it. I recently attended a free cooking competition between two top chefs, which I had never done before. I have also visited previously unseen parks, window-shopped at new stores, and seen unique movies and musical performances I find online that seem interesting. I just like how new stimuli keeps me interested in the outside world, even when the weather can be a big obstacle.

What do you do to combat the winter cold?

Ahead of the Curve

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome back Giovanna as a guest blogger:

Giovanna lives in New York City. Through her work experiences and
most recently through her studies, she has developed a passion for the
dynamic of work, the psychology behind it.

The best professional advice I ever received is to always keep learning. Make it your business to stay on top of current trends and anticipate those to come. I previously wrote an article for my blog with tips to stay ahead of the curve in your career, but with time, I realized this is not just something that can be applied to work but also to life.

Everyone should strive for personal development. Here are some ways to stay at the forefront:

1. Know yourself
The words ‘Know Thyself’ first appeared at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi in ancient Greece. The phrase is often interpreted to mean that in order to understand the world, we must first understand ourselves. The idea seems simple enough: who knows me better than me, right? However, the harsh reality is that people struggle with self-awareness every day.

Research shows that many lack understanding of their own behaviors, feelings, and thoughts. As a result, they fall into a pattern of poor decision-making, creating a negative reflection of self. Researchers urge us to be mindful of our behaviors and thoughts. Becoming aware of who you are, how you present yourself to others, and where you stand in relation to your environment can do wonders for your overall wellbeing.

2. Move with the times
Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but the world is changing. Society is different now than it was even one year ago. There have been great strides in the arts, sciences, and technology. Some of our previous beliefs are now outdated and new attitudes have taken their place.

Do not cling to old-fashioned views that can infringe on your personal growth. We often become stuck on who we think we are and close ourselves off to new perspectives. Allow new lessons and experiences to evolve the way you think about things.

3. Challenge yourself
There may come a time when your regular day-to-day will become mundane. The things that used to drive you will no longer challenge you. It is then up to you to create new challenges.

Pay attention to resources around you. You will likely find a plethora of exciting things just waiting to be explored. Procure new goals for yourself, learn new skills, try new things, talk to interesting people, attend trainings, meetings, fairs, cultural events, etc. Keep yourself abreast of what’s going on in the world. Never for one second quit learning.

New Year's Resolution & Intentions

To say that 2013 was an eventful year would be a gross understatement. I'm betting on 2014 being wonderful and magical! Instead of coming up with a resolution, or even a series of resolutions as I've done in the past, I made a list of several goals and intentions for the year. A lot of it, I've realized, has to do with putting myself first, being authentic, and loving myself fully.

Even in the first few days of the new year, I've already been challenged. Merely 24 hours into 2014, I was in bed with an ear infection. I whined a little, but I took it as an opportunity to take care of myself. I eased up on work, looked up home remedies, ate well, and spent most of the day at home.

Then, when my sister told me about the beauty cleanse she's doing, we started talking about detoxing, immunity shots, healthy drinks, etc. I had already been thinking about ways to be healthier, which seems much more feasible now that I won't be as nomadic. I don't usually concern myself with being healthier but both of my sisters are all about it, plus I'm in California, so it's been very present these last few weeks. I've had - and enjoyed - homemade almond milk, cooked - and mostly enjoyed - a vegetarian Christmas, tried - and enjoyed - raw food bars, and shopped exclusively at Whole Foods. My sisters aren't just into eating well, I also exfoliated with raw honey and turbinado sugar and used a natural clay mask, and let me tell you, it felt lovely. (The exfoliant tasted good, too!)

Okay, so all of this was happening and has been the topic of many conversations, and I decided today that my resolution/intention for the new year boils down to self-love and self-care. Put into language that holds me accountable every day, I will perform at least one act of self-love every day. This might seem like a tiny thing, but it's big for me.

I imagine that some [and then many, and then hopefully most] days will have more than one act of self-love, but I'll start with one.

This was originally posted at F Is for Fun.

Starting the New Year with a New Dream

What is your dream for the world in 2014 and your part in it? Wisdom from the incredible 98 year old activist, author, philosopher and national treasure Grace Lee Boggs.

We are shaking the world with a new dream from Sacred Resonance on Vimeo.

Check out Personal Growth Gab on Facebook!

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Personal Growth Gab (PGG) is a weekly dose of thought-provoking, inspirational and entertaining helpful tidbits to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journey called life hosted by TWM founder, career/life coach and speaker Kristina Leonardi and can now be found on Facebook!

 

Since launching Personal Growth Gab (PGG) in January 2010, Kristina has formed an avid and faithful following ("they're the only emails I read" "they really help me" "they help me start my week" "I save them until I get home and can read them with a cup of tea" "you're such a good writer!" ) of over 1500 who look forward to a 'weekly dose of thought-provoking, inspirational and unique entertaining helpful tidbits to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journey called life.

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Kristina Leonardi is a career/life coach who has a proven record of getting "stuck" clients empowered to make changes aligned with their true passions and talents in a short time. She provides a practical framework for each individual to make the most of their personal and professional lives, allowing them to recognize, connect to, and fulfill their role in the world at large and live a life with clarity, balance and direction.  Click here for more information and contact her today for a session.

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