Finding the Fantasy

Well, this is the week of the NAACP Image Awards. I'm beginning to try to imagine myself walking the red carpet. In the past, I've daydreamed about this type of event in an abstract well-it-will-never-really-happen-but-it's-nice-to-dream kind of way. I imagined a dramatic, expensive dress, make-up to the hilt, needle-thin stiletto heels that I could somehow glide perfectly in, a gorgeous date to shepherd me through the crowds of my adoring fans....

Yeah, right.

The reality is shaping up to be quite a bit less than the fantasy, but I must admit it is still exciting! So far, I have a dramatic, inexpensive dress, no idea what I will do as far as make-up, marker-thick sparkly heels which I can walk in without falling, and a gorgeous date to shepherd me down the red carpet--my little brother!

What I've realized through all of this is that fulfilling the complete red carpet fantasy isn't what's important here. I'm a regular person, not a starlet or debutante. I don't even want to be those things, so why should I bend over backwards to try to look or act like it? It's fun to dress up and feel glamorous for an evening--I'm actually looking forward to that. But I'd rather not fit in by being myself than by trying to look like celebrities do, and missing the mark.

I'm excited about the possibility of rubbing elbows with the Hollywood types, of course. But I'm more thrilled that my work is being recognized. That's part of an entirely different fantasy--one I love and am much more comfortable living into.