Lessons in Control

We're two and a half months into 2012, and so far it's been a hell of a ride. There have been shifts in pretty much every area of my life -- some bigger than others, but all significant. Things haven't fully settled and might not for at least another few weeks, but I've been trying to enjoy it all and take it one day at a time, which is no easy thing for me.

Anybody who's read CHICKS ROCK! for a while knows that I've struggled between being an anal planner and trying to be casual and easygoing about things, sometimes even relinquishing all control to other people. While I'm still figuring out what feels the best and keeps me the most sane, I think I'm at least starting to feel better about not having all the answers, not planning everything out, and trusting that things will fall into place in the end.

Well ... kinda ...

Most days, I still want to know that any effort I make will have some sort of reward. Some of this is simple: if I put in more hours at work or on a project, I want to be recognized for that effort in some way. Others are a bit more complicated, like any relationship I place a significant value on. I don't think relationships are about give and take, but I do think that if things aren't balanced somehow, it's harder to feel comfortable letting go of any control.

So I'm still working on all of this, obviously, but I'm thinking 2012 has a lot of these lessons waiting for me.