Election Day Guilt

Every year on Election Day, I think about all the people who are out there volunteering at the polls, calling people up to encourage them to vote, and sharing important information with their friends to make sure they know where to vote, who's running, and so forth. As most of you know, voting is something I've been passionate about for a long time, and while I normally spend Election Day giving people information they need, today I'm feeling guilty because I won't be voting.

For starters, I haven't updated my address with the Board of Elections. I wasn't going to let this get in my way and planned to get up extra early to go to my old polling location. Of course, I didn't even wake up on time this morning, let alone early, so that was out of the question. I have work all day and French class immediately after. By the time I'm done with my day, it'll already be 10pm -- well past the time polling locations close.

There are countless people who have complained over the years that having Election Day on a Tuesday is inconvenient, and I've certainly agreed in the past, but I'm really feeling it today. If you don't live close to where you work, if you work strange hours, if you have a lot of responsibilities on a weekday, etc. then voting becomes an added burden. 

There's a lot going on in the political landscape right now, with Occupy Wall Street being the loudest and most prominent, so it would be fantastic to see a higher voter turnout than usual. I'm still hoping that happens, even if I can't be part of it myself. At least I know I'll get one important thing done today: I'm updating my address so this doesn't happen again next year.

Don't forget to vote!

Achoo!

Kekla is feeling a bit under the weather today. She's stuck at home with a bad cold. So, it's as good a time as any to catch up on some of her past posts that you might have missed.

Take a look HERE for the full archive.

How are YOU feeling these days? Struggling with the change of seasons, too, or still rolling happily along?

Friday Forum: Movie Memories

This month, we're taking a trip down memory lane and reliving some great and not-so-great moments.

For today's trip, we want to know about the first time you watched or remember watching your favorite movie. What movie was it? Why did you like it so much?

What We Want to Know

What we do in this space is for you, and every so often, we like to check in and see how we're doing. Do you want to compliment us on something you love or is there something you dislike? If so, we want to hear it. Whether you leave a comment on this post or email us at chicksrockblog@gmail.com, get in touch to tell us what you think.

Snowtober Memories

I was one of the unlucky people who found themselves on the road on Saturday, October 29th, now known as “Snowtober” here on the East Coast. I was working that day, and cut the itinerary so I could leave earlier due to the weather. First it rained, then the rain turned into sleet, then rain again, then thick snow fell, some of which turned into ice. On the highway as cars would pass me, sometimes this mixture of snow and ice would fly from the bottom of their tires or the top of their cars and fall on my windshield, blinding my view for a few seconds. Other times I would feel the car skidding a bit here and there on the road and would think to myself: am I going to make it back home, or will I be stuck on the road for hours or more?

The relief I felt after finally getting off my last highway changed to pure discomfort when driving back home on the local roads and being greeted with fallen trees and tree limbs. Downed power lines added to the danger and discomfort I felt as I carefully navigated my way to my place, and chose where to park before getting out of the car after being in it for more than two hours straight.

Even though the weather is completely different now, I did witness a medium sized tree branch break off from a tree near the mailboxes on my street just the other day. It wasn’t too large, but it wasn’t too small either, meaning that if someone had been walking on the sidewalk underneath that tree at that moment, he or she would have been knocked out and left with a minor concussion, at the very least. I was a bit paranoid for the rest of the day because of this incident.

I count my blessings that I did not get hurt or lose power during “Snowtober,” which is not what everyone can say unfortunately. I am wary of what Mother Nature has in store for us.

Do you have storm stories to share?

Getting Past Perfection

I learned about NaNoWriMo a few years ago and have known several people who tried it (including Kekla!). For the month of November, you're meant to write a novel of approximately 50,000 words but because I've never been much of a creative writer, I hadn't considered participating. Over the last six months or so, I've been wanting to tap into my creativity -- I even signed up for creative writing classes that start later this month. Of course, I've barely written at all since then, I just keep telling myself I will, so I still didn't think I'd do NaNoWriMo.

Then I was looking through Gotham Writers' Workshop's enewsletter and saw a blurb announcing that it begins tomorrow (well, today), and for some reason, it stood out to me. I wasn't sure why, at first, but I read through the description and remembered that one of the things that makes NaNoWriMo so interesting and unique is its departure from the way a lot of us normally work: the goal isn't quality, it's quantity. It's about putting words on the page, pure and simple. If you create something incredible, then great, but that's not the point of the exercise.

I suddenly remembered that a couple of weeks back my friend and I were talking about writing and he said I was making excuses by saying things like, "I don't have time to write." He made me write for 10 minutes to get me to see that I didn't need much time. It only made me stronger in my conviction that you need time to write something of quality. For me, it always comes down to quality, and that's surely an easy way to stop myself from doing what I love because of course nothing's perfect in just 10 minutes or 30 or even 60.

So I'm wondering, what happens if I take the challenge? What if I simply write and write and write without worrying about perfection? I guess I'm ready to find out!

Take Back Halloween

I'm a fan of Halloween. I don't enjoy being scared or spooked, but I like eating candy, and I particularly like dressing up in a costume and getting together with friends. Halloween reminds me of childhood, so for me there remains an innocent joy about it that is really delightful. It's an opportunity to be quirky and creative, silly and dramatic, and generally let your freak flag fly.

But it seems that the costume trend--for young women especially--has tipped away from quirky/creative and more toward short flimsy skirts and "slutty" versions of every imaginable profession and traditional Halloween character. Walking down the sidewalk this weekend, you will find slutty nurses, slutty pirates, slutty witches, and any manner of costumes not outright labeled "slutty" but designed to flash skin and tease the eye.

I'm not exactly sure when Halloween became the holiday to be "slutty," but apparently it's unavoidable. Two years ago, I dressed as the board game "Twister." I wrapped a (homemade) Twister mat around me like a toga, and turned the dial into a mortarboard-like cap and went out. I thought it was a cute, innocent and child-like costume, but when I got to the party, the first thing every guy I talked to (and these were my friends) said to me was some version of "Whoa, I hope no one calls out Right Hand Yellow" or "That costume wins Most-Likely-To Get-You-Touched."

I have to admit, I was creeped out and traumatized by their reactions, because it had NEVER occurred to me that my costume was in any way sexually inviting, or might be interpreted that way. Am I naive? Maybe. But it was definitely an eye opener to the fact that these young guys have been trained to look at women as sexual objects--especially on Halloween, when all of our underbelly tendencies are allowed to rise to the surface.

I suspect there's deeper significance to the pervasive desire among young women to flaunt their sexuality as part of a costume. Something joyful and freeing about putting yourself physically out there, like saying it's me, but not me, and then not having to own it in the morning. The excitement that surrounds it can't be denied, but if dressing up in costumes is the only way women feel like they can be so baldly sexual, there's something wrong with that too.

This year I discovered an organization called Take Back Halloween, which tries to counter the trend toward overt sex-kitten attire by cataloging costume ideas based on dynamic women from world history on their website. They call it A Costume Guide for Women with Imagination. Their press release says: "We’re trying to reclaim some space for a different vision of the holiday, where women can use Halloween to explore history and celebrate their heritage.”

Sounds awesome to me. Ladies, let's mix it up a bit tonight.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Friday Forum: Happy Halloween!

Halloween is only a few days away and since it's on a Tuesday, we're sure you'll be celebrating most of the weekend.

What are your Halloween plans this year?

Link Love for 10/27

It's time for another round-up of great things we've been reading lately. Check out what we put together for you and remember to leave links in the comments to things you've been reading and writing online.

Awaken Your CAREERpreneur has great insights about the "root of it all," where the "it" is your work.

Downtown Dharma spotlights an organization that reminds us just how easy it can be to give back.

Girl w/Pen celebrated Love Your Body Day last week and has even more great links for you.

In Good Company poses an interesting question: is entrepreneurship the new gender neutral?

Lindsey Pollak features an interview about career blind spots, what they are, and how to overcome them.

NYWSE's blog considers how being socially responsible is as good for your wallet as it is for you.

One Writeous Chick shares a piece about her writing process that many of us can relate to no matter what we do.

Made Anywhere But Here

It's happened before, but it hit me again when I went to a nearby grocery store and browsed through the greeting card aisle. This is nothing new to most people, but I was put off by the fact that everything was made in China. I planned to buy some Halloween, Thanksgiving, and other everyday cards, but walked away with neither. I could not find one card that was made somewhere else, like here in the U.S.A., or Canada, or anywhere else in the world. I will have to try my luck elsewhere, perhaps at a greeting card retail store that should have more offerings, hopefully with some of them being made domestically.

I am definitely not alone in preferring to buy domestic products. There are websites dedicated to all manner of companies that still produce their wares here in the U.S.A. By chance, I came across an article about olive oil from olives grown in California, and am now on the waiting list for a limited supply of a recommended reserve olive oil that must be used within a shorter time before expiration. I love Italian-made goods, but I could not give up the chance to try an olive oil made within the U.S.A. I am looking forward to getting it time for the holidays.

We can’t completely avoid buying things made outside of the fifty states, especially those items made in China. They are everywhere, and sometimes the only options available in stores. I have nothing against the Chinese people; it’s just their government’s cut-throat economic practices and human rights violations I cannot stand. When it comes to buying fresh fruits and vegetables, I almost always buy domestic. I immediately settled the choice between buying lemons grown in California versus those grown in Chile at my latest visit to the grocery store by choosing the former. In that case, they were the same price, but in many cases, buying domestically often means more money. I grin and bear it because I think it is worth it.

Do you think it is worth it?

End of Summer... In the Fall

Compared to most summers in my life, this past summer was quite eventful. I made new friends, went on a bunch of dates, enjoyed movies, concerts, and theater, and even went on a couple of vacations. Even with that being the case, I still made an "end of summer wish list" of things I wanted to do and events I wanted to attend before summer ended. Of course, I didn't even put a dent on that list while the summer was still happening, but I extended my timeframe by a couple of months. I figure this way makes it seem as though summer is still here (at least in spirit) and gives me something to look forward to while everyone else is grumbling about the colder weather.

I took a stab at two of the items this weekend: hiking and visiting Lake George. A couple of years ago, my sisters and I went to Lake George and had a great time. I had so much fun the first time, that I've been eager to go back. When I told a friend of mine about my time there, including the adventure course I tried to complete, he was excited about going there and giving it a try himself. So we decided to take a last minute trip up there to hike, do the adventure course, spend quiet time at a bed & breakfast, and just enjoy the time away from the city's hustle and bustle.

As I expected, it was just as much fun as it was last time. The hike was challenging, and the adventure course kicked my butt, but we both felt great afterwards. And even though we ran out of gas at one point, had a terrible and expensive dinner, and couldn't even complete the adventure course, the trip was well worth it.

There are still a few things left on my wish list, and I plan on getting through them as quickly as I can. Who knows, maybe once I'm done, I'll put together a winter wish list so there's even more to look forward to.

The Mystery of Faith

I've been thinking a lot about religion and faith lately. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this post, other than to say, it's something I'm thinking about. I was raised Presbyterian, and I've continued to participate in Christian life in various forms and fashions over the years. I belong to a church here in NYC, and I've become very involved there in the past decade.

Lately, I feel myself growing tired of some of the trappings of church life, and particularly some of the pretenses of myself that I feel I must maintain when I go there. I enjoy and value the community of friends I've made, but when at times I feel I don't actually share some of the fundamental belief system it is all built on, I wonder if I am building community under false pretenses?

I've never claimed to be a great Christian; I would shudder away from calling myself "devout" or "faithful" or anything even close to that. I do believe in God, but the true nature of the God I believe in is a very great mystery to me, and sometimes I think church goes too far in trying to explain God and what God's all about. What God would want me to be, or to do, and how God participates in the world.

We don't know. We can't know. And while I'm awed by that mystery and while it does lead me toward faith (of a fashion), I'm also bothered by the ways we try to rationalize God. When I think of all the destruction--socially, politically, interpersonally--that adherence to religious doctrines has caused around the world, it makes me ache because all of these rules of faith that we seem so willing to kill and die for are human-made. We might seek to worship God, but religion itself is a human construct, an answer to questions that every society has wrestled with over centuries--and ultimately answered in its own way.

Why are we so sure that we're right? More importantly, why are we so afraid to be wrong? In my own faith journey, I've always found that the greater power lies in the questions, rather than the answers. I know there are a lot of people out there like me, not so sure of things and just trying to figure it all out.

This week, I read an essay--a sermon, actually--that a friend and colleague of mine wrote about the similarities between being a person of faith and being a writer. She talks about the intangible sense of having something to express, and the struggle of trying to capture it all, and the need for constant review, reflection and revision. (The essay is posted on her website, here.) It was like placing a mirror to my own struggle, and it made me go "Ah!" I read her words, and I instantly felt more comfortable, more confident in my personal (awkward) process of faith, and more comforted than I had felt in a very long time. I have no trouble seeing a little bit of God in that.

Friday Forum: Mistaken Identity

Many of us have celebrities that either people think we look like or we like to think we look like. Whichever it is, it's sometimes fun to think about.

Is there any celebrity you have been or might be mistaken for?

Lessons Learned While Blogging

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes back Diana as a guest blogger who let us interview her last week about her newfound passion for blogging. Here's the second part of her interview:

Diana enjoys transforming ordinary recipes into guilt-free, healthful meals that bring pleasure to the palate. She shares her latest ideas, inspirations, reviews, interviews, and plenty of food for thought on her food blog, Between the Tines.

What have you learned while blogging?

So many things have come to the surface for me, personally, as a result of writing this blog. Because of all the research I have to do before writing, I’ve become very aware of not only the wonderful aspects of food, but the issues and problems in and around food as well. For example:

1) I became painfully aware that childhood obesity is an overwhelming issue in this country and that it leads to life-long health problems.
2) The hunger crisis here and throughout the world today is out of control and is simply unacceptable.
3) The rampant spread of food-borne illness is distressing. I’m also a Certified Food Safety Manager. The training was very intense with emphasis on how food gets contaminated and that we really can prevent most of it.
4) That government and corporate America work hand-in-hand and are immersed in the food industry and driven by profit, not what’s healthiest for people. From genetically modified foods to hormone-treated cattle, have we considered the long-term effects of this and why are we allowing this to happen?
5) On the lighter side, I’ve realized that I need to go to culinary school at some point. I’m working on giving myself permission to do that right now.

What is one thing that has surprised you about blogging?

People actually follow me and subscribe!

I like to write from somewhat of a humorous, sarcastic perspective and I try bringing attention to things that need to be said but that aren’t being said without being particularly defamatory. I believe this humorous, sarcastic approach contributes to the fact that people enjoy reading my posts. I’ve had some great feedback. When I hear someone tell me that they look forward to my next blog, or that it has given them a laugh or two means a lot to me.

I’ve recently been invited to be a contributor to two additional food blogs, so I know I’m doing something right!

One is The Feed and the other is Bromography, both of which I’m very excited about.

What do you hope readers take away from what you write about?

I hope readers learn about eating well and eating healthy. I hope readers learn about some of the pressing issues in and around food and the food industry. I hope my blog makes people laugh while providing a little insight.

Cooking For Life

With work, errands, and other commitments I have on a daily basis, it is hard to fit in time to do things that are good for me. One thing I wish I could do more of is to cook daily for myself. I make my own juice often, using my juicer or blender and different combinations of vegetables and fruit. But I am not part of the raw foods movement, as admirable as I think it is. I have hot meals daily, and I am always looking for variety and time to make them. Getting take out on a regular basis is something I used to do, and now I try to limit it to once a week, or once every two weeks or more.

I find that the key to cooking as part of my daily/weekly routine is to keep it simple. I attempt more elaborate recipes on days when I have more time to tackle them. This is usually a cake or other type of dessert, or a more complicated savory dish that requires more steps than the usual daily fare. I only take on the latter if I feel inspired by the recipe and feel that I can pull it off. I also make sure to have the right equipment for the cooking tasks I assign myself. For example, I don’t have a double boiler, so I avoid recipes that require it.

For me, cooking can be therapeutic and rewarding. I feel good when I can successfully combine ingredients and prepare them in certain ways; they are minor accomplishments that give me the confidence to do more and challenge myself further. Choosing what I put in my body is empowering; I don’t have to worry about how much cholesterol, fat, and/or sugar a certain dish may have if I am the one who put it together. It’s also generally less expensive to cook at home than to be constantly going out or getting take out, which is an added bonus for me.

Bon appetit!

Best Shape of My Life

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend about how great it feels to be in shape and how much I wanted to be active again after a summer of laziness. We talked about fitness in general, what I usually do to stay healthy, and what being in great shape might look like for me. Then he said he could get me in the best shape of my life in less than a year, and as little as 6 months if I was really committed. Those who know me know that I love a challenge. I'm not as competitive with others as people might expect, but I'm fiercely competitive with myself. So his positioning was actually rather perfect, even if he didn't set out to make it that way. 

And so it began: he or I kept bringing it up and soon we were both serious about it. We went to the park and he made note oyang performance at the start. Along with a whole host of other exercises, he wrote down how long it took me to run 1.5 miles (14 minutes), whether I was able to do 10 regular push-ups (of course), and how many pull-ups I could do (barely 1, and it was assisted). He showed me how to do a bunch of exercises and now "coaches" me via text on mornings when I work out, telling me what to do that day or how many miles I should run. 

As usually happens when I start down this path, I've also become more conscious of what I eat. I'm not following any strict diet or anything, but I know that I feel pretty awful if I don't eat well the day before a big workout. Losing weight isn't the goal, after all, but really just being the best me I can be. I want to feel stronger, run faster, and make it up to my friends' places without feeling like I'm going to collapse (I've somehow ended up with 3 friends who live on the 5th floor of walk-ups). 

My 6 months is up at the end of March, so we'll see how it goes between now and then, but I'm already starting to feel better knowing I have a plan and somebody to keep me on track.

Capturing the Casual

I've recently started a process of redesigning my professional website. The old version is still up, but I'm working on new content and thinking about color schemes and things like how to effectively bring my personality to life online. I expect the new site to launch sometime in January, which intellectually seems a long way off, but in reality time is flying and 2012 is just around the corner.

There are a couple of things I'm learning through this redesign process, the first being that it's good sometimes to take the time to really do something right, rather than leaping into it headlong. I tend to be a little impatient with things like this--once I decide I want a new website, I want it NOW. So, I end up throwing something makeshift together, and not being super happy with it in the end.

A second (related) thing I'm learning is that sometimes it isn't good to do everything myself. Sure, I'm tech savvy enough to get by on a day-to-day basis, and I'd consider myself more web-literate than the average person, but I'm nowhere near an expert. So I've finally taken the much-needed leap of hiring a professional web designer (hooray!).

A third thing I'm learning through this process is how difficult it can be to let go of control over something as important as my online image. My website, really, is my most important professional "face," because most of the people I interact with are spread around the country. As such, I'm struggling to develop web content that I can hand over to the designer and say "This is what I want; this represents me."

Images are very important to capturing that essence, but really great photos are often difficult to come by. I've determined that I need to be more proactive--not just taking a camera along on big events, but carrying one day to day and having my picture taken as I go about my ordinary life. Special occasion pictures often turn out well, but if they don't, there's no do-over. On a day to day basis, I can wear different outfits, try different poses and espressions, and really figure out how I look best, and what defines ME, visually.

I'm trying to capture the casual, so if you ever run into me in real life, don't surprised if I impose upon you to snap a few quick photos!

Friday Forum: Last Meals

For the foodies among us, one thing that comes up every so often is a question asked of chefs all over: if you could choose your last meal, what would it be? So today we're asking you!

"Are You Hungry?"

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Diana as a guest blogger who let us interview her about her newfound passion for blogging. Here's the first part of her interview:

Diana enjoys transforming ordinary recipes into guilt-free, healthful meals that bring pleasure to the palate. She shares her latest ideas, inspirations, reviews, interviews, and plenty of food for thought on her food blog, Between the Tines.

What inspired you to start a blog?

A certain career coach by the name of Kristina Leonardi was instrumental in inspiring me to start my food blog. I’m sure my answer doesn’t surprise any of you!

Kristina is quite intuitive about reading people. She’s gifted at helping when people come to a crossroad in their life and need to make important decisions about how to move forward. She truly has the ability to cut to the heart of the matter and get down to the business of seeing what a person is passionate about, what they should be considering as an alternate path, and then finding a way to help guide them to take that first step.

Kristina gently pushed me to start blogging because I had something to say and because I really needed to explore this creative outlet. I’m a Creative Director for the marketing industry by trade so I’m very used to dealing with the copy aspect of design. I simply had to rethink my work experience and apply it to something that was specifically for me, rather than the corporate environment I was so used to focusing on. I’m convinced that it’s all about rethinking who you are and realizing that you really can recreate yourself.

Why did you choose to focus on food?

My focus is on food because that’s where my true passion lies. That’s all I think about! I’m a food-and-healthful-eating-junkie. Throughout the day my thoughts swirl around my next meal, what I’m going to prepare, and how I’m going to prepare it. I drive everyone at home crazy because I’m planning dinner at breakfast time. I got excited when the last gifts I received were a black truffle and fermented garlic! One day I took a survey of all the magazines I subscribed to. Every one of them was a cooking magazine. At that point I was beginning to get the message.

To say the least, I’m known in my circle of friends as a passionate cook. I love to have everyone over for dinner and it gives me great pleasure to hear that everything tastes wonderful. I get a lot of personal joy from feeding people. The first thing I ask when someone arrives at my home is, “Are you hungry?”

I also have to mention that a number of my daughter’s friends often show up “unexpectedly” when they hear I’m preparing a meal (and I absolutely love it). I’m quite flattered when I find out that a group of her friends are coming over solely because they heard I was having one of my “dinner-events”. These kids are all around 19 years old, and they think I’m cool because I can cook!

Shaking Off Regrets

I try not to hold on to regrets if I can help it. It does not always work of course, but I generally reach the conclusion that a situation did not work out the way I wanted because it was meant to happen that way. There have been job interviews that did not materialize in employment, aborted travel plans to places I have yet to visit, and sometimes not making the kind of impression I want to make due to nervousness or other reasons. Instead of focusing on the past, even if it was only yesterday, I make sure that every day I try to make things better better for myself. It's not always easy, but I usually adhere to this way of thinking and it does help. Of course it can be difficult to do this when there are people around me who wallow in their regrets, and try to make me do the same.

I purposely try to keep away from people who are regret-ridden (of the non-criminal variety of course), but there are those in my family and associated with friends who I cannot always avoid. I do my best to tolerate their behavior, and stand up for myself when needed. Sitting through stories from people who regret their marriages, or how they are afraid to go back to school because of how bad they were in academics as children, or how much they hate their current or past jobs are normal unless they are repeated ad nauseum and those telling the stories have learned nothing from them. When I try to alleviate the mood by telling some to look forward to today and tomorrow, I am sometimes ignored, get a roll of the eyes, and occasionally I am heard.

We have to make the best with the time we are given; that goes for all of us.

Other Things We Love

In keeping with last week's theme of doing and not doing what you love, there certainly are things we always seem to find time and money for. They aren't quite the same thing, of course, because they're simply for enjoyment or entertainment and require no commitment or work on our part.

Take theater, for instance, which I've been spending quite a bit of time and money on these past few months. Those of you who've been reading for a while know that I really enjoy going to the theater. Shakespeare in the Park is one of the highlights of my summers, and this past one was no exception. I've also seen Hair, Newsies (now a musical playing in NJ), Sleep No More, and Hamlet at the Hudson Valley Shakespeare Festival. Tomorrow night, I'm seeing Rent and in a couple of weeks, I'm going to Sleep No More again. I've spent hundreds of dollars on tickets and countless hours traveling to and attending these shows.

It's been a lot of fun and I feel enriched by these activities and sharing them with people I care about. But while I've had a great time experiencing theater this year, I guess my point is that adding up all those hours makes me feel even worse about neglecting other things that are important to me, like writing. Why do I choose to distract myself with something like an expensive musical when I could be at home relaxing and getting some words down? I'm hoping to make some better choices through the rest of this year... that is, right after Rent tomorrow night!

Do NOT Read This Post

Doesn't that title make you want to read whatever I'm going to say just a little bit more? I thought so. This is one of the things that's always puzzled me about censorship; despite all the various forms it takes (some more insidious than others), in the process of trying to stop people from seeing or reading something, you often end up calling more attention to it and inspiring interest from people who might not have even noticed it otherwise.

This topic is on my mind because authors and book lovers around the country recently celebrated Banned Books Week, which is our way of honoring artists who speak truth and whose words contain a particular kind of power that has the potential to frighten small-minded people, those who want the whole world to agree with them on every imaginable perspective. As someone who's spent a great deal of my life dealing with diversity--embracing, encouraging and embodying it--I can't stand the thought of opinions being suppressed, and people's minds and hearts being suppressed along with them.

It's something of a badge of pride among published authors (especially young adult authors, I'd say) if your work has been challenged by a school board, a PTA, or a conclave of concerned citizens. We're proud of the impact our books can have, and we understand it very well, because lots of other people's books have had an impact on us--as young people, as writers, as humans. Books can touch readers in ways that no other media can. As authors, we know we have the power to reach people--maybe not to change their minds, but to make them think. And why is that so scary?

During Banned Books Week, I kept thinking about my own writing. I don't know if my books have been challenged...yet...but I know they will be in the future, because I write about things that make some people uncomfortable. Racism, classism, death, sex, violence, power. I write about genuine fears and deep loves, the way we hurt one another and the way we're affected by tragedies. And, particularly, how it all starts when we're young.

In 1992, Stephen King wrote an op-ed after some of his books were removed from school libraries, saying: "When a book is banned, a whole set of thoughts is locked behind the assertion that there is only one valid set of values, one valid set of beliefs, one valid perception of the world. It's a scary idea, especially in a society which has been built on the ideas of free choice and free thought. ....As a nation, we've been through too many fights to preserve our rights of free thought to let them go just because some prude with a highlighter doesn't approve of them."

Not much has changed in twenty years. Hopefully, twenty years from now it'll all be better. In the meantime, I'll settle for being amused by the attention that people draw to the books they challenge, and I will continue supporting other writers in the effort to keep our books on shelves in even the most tightly-closed corners of the country. I'll study all the handy, lengthy lists of "banned" or challenged books, and see what piques my interest.

Friday Forum: Pain & Gain

They say "no pain, no gain," but just how far do people take it?

When it comes to beauty regiments (hair relaxing, leg waxing, etc.) and exercise routines (daily runs, kickboxing, etc.), how hard do you push yourself? Do you sometimes think the expectations are unrealistic?

Read All About It

One one of the things we love most on the blog is hearing from all of you. Whether it's feedback, ideas, or comments, we can't get enough of it. But it's extra special when we hear from you in the form of guest posts.

We know that all of you have things you're passionate about or struggling with or getting over, and we would love to read all about it. So send us your guest posts and give this blogging thing a try -- we want to hear from you.

Good New Days

There really is no such thing as the good old days when it comes to safety and freedom. When I heard a news report about the overall reduction of crime and overall violence in general since the 20th century, I was not surprised. Why? Because as one who loves history, I know enough about it to know that many problems people faced on a daily basis are not as common as they used to be. Even with the creation of more efficient weapons of destruction and more war, humanity in general is much better off than ever before. It just doesn’t feel that way sometimes.

As a woman today, I can travel on my own or with others with far less chance of being assaulted or killed than my predecessors. I admire travelling women in previous centuries because they risked their lives and took more risks than I will ever know. While it does not feel that way at times, I am aware that travel is much easier than in the past. The time it used to take to cross the Atlantic was so much longer and far less safe than most of us realize.

Even as a fan of classic movies and well done period films, I am wise enough to know that I would never have wanted to live during those more repressive times. Classic films I love, which tend to be of far better substantive quality than those produced today, often depict beautifully dressed men and women pursuing each other until either triumphing or losing in the end. In reality, the actors and actresses behind those roles were made and destroyed by the studio system that they worked for. I love Jane Austen’s novels and many of the films based on her works, but I would have hated to live in during her lifetime. She died in her 40s, and had to conduct herself within certain social parameters that most women today would find ridiculously restrictive.

Do you agree that living now is better than in previous eras?

Doing What We Love

Why do we stop ourselves from doing the things we love? I’ve been struggling lately (and by “lately,” I mean at least a year) with this question.

I have a friend who wants to be an actor and moved to New York partly to pursue that. When I ask him about it, he’s never much closer to taking his acting seriously than he was the time I asked before that. Another aspiring actor studied theatre in college and hasn’t gone on any auditions or even gotten headshots. I also have a friend who used to dance and was quite talented but had to stop years ago. Even though she now has some time and resources to start dancing again, it’s too emotional for her to even try.

All my life, I’ve loved to sing. When I stopped singing regularly with a chorus (or “for real,” as I like to call it), I lost confidence in my ability and eventually it became harder and harder to think about doing it again. Similarly, for the past few months, I’ve found it harder to sit down and write something substantial – one of the things I love doing most. I write here once a week, but it’s nothing like what I used to write when I used to write “for real.”

So I have to ask why it is that we stop ourselves from doing the things we love. I wonder if we don’t think we’re good enough, but it doesn’t seem that simple. I think maybe we don’t think we’re worthy of doing something we truly enjoy – something that has the potential to make us truly happy. Whatever it is, I’m trying to get us all out of our funk. However big or small our steps are, I’m hoping my friends and I can all get back on track… I imagine we’d all be at least a bit more fulfilled.

Long Distance, Birthday-Style

My mother just celebrated her 60th birthday, and when it came time to give her a gift, I found myself at a bit of a loss. What do you get for the gal who has everything? (By which, of course, I mean, the woman who has me for a daughter?) I actually had this thought in my head (in jest, of course), and after I got over that particularly egotistical moment, I realized that there was actually a bit of merit to my initial reaction. Here's how:

My mom lives halfway across the country from me, and one of the things that makes her happy is when she gets to see me (of course) and short of that, when she gets to talk to me on the phone. But, there are only so many things you can talk about on the phone without repeating yourself, so I had a new creative idea of how we could share an activity together long-distance. We are both nerdy, bookish, puzzler-types and we both enjoy word and logic puzzles like crosswords, Sudoku and picture logic.

My idea was that if we both had the same puzzle book, and started the same puzzle at the same time, we could call one another when we got stumped and it would be like we were sitting at the same table working on a giant jigsaw like we often do over the holidays. I thought it would be a nice piece of me to share with her.

She was very excited to receive the gift (because while she doesn't truly have everything, she doesn't need more stuff, either. Who does?) and she appreciated the gift of my time as much as the gift of the puzzle book (which, let's not lie, saved me some moolah). Even though we haven't started our shared puzzles yet, I am also really looking forward to calling her tonight to see how it goes!

I'm sure once we get on the phone we will revert to the old standbys--(Mom: How was your day? Me: How's Dad? Mom: Sold any books lately? Me: How's Dad?)--but the puzzles look like fun, too, and it will be nice to be together for a while, even from a distance.

Friday Forum: Spooked

Halloween is still a month away, though it's hard to tell when it seems to already be everywhere. We think it's still too early to be talking about Halloween itself, but it does make us wonder: what gets you spooked? Is it a scary movie, reading a thriller, going on a ghost tour? Share in the comments!

Link Love for 9/29

It's time for our next link love roundup, as we try to make up for lost time. Here are some great links for you to read through and comment on.

NYWSE takes a different approach on giving advice by listing the 5 great reasons NOT to grow your business.

Lindsey Pollak also has a list for us, except this one's on how to have more fun at work.

Downtown Dharma wants us to take a different kind of message home with us: imagine peace.

Girl w/Pen has us shift gears a bit with an in-depth post on young feminists and the budget.

One Writeous Chick shares something that really spoke to us about the fears that come along with writing.

Hope you enjoyed these. Be sure to leave links to what you've been reading and writing online in the comments.

Truth Behind A Resignation

My mother’s former church made the local news this month. The former choir director, who happens to be a gay man, resigned after working there for decades because a new priest made homophobic remarks to him in private. As someone with some firsthand knowledge of the situation, I can read uninformed, bigoted comments posted to the articles about this story and easily shake off my annoyance, because I know they have no idea what they are talking about.

The former choir director also taught at the Catholic high school I attended. I never took any of his classes, but I was told by some of my classmates that he was very tough and unyielding with his students. I also attended church reluctantly every Sunday, where I saw him lead the choir with confidence. He was one of the main attractions to the church, so much so that I believe most people who came to church were looking forward more to the music than to what any of the priests had to say. This is just my assumption, of course; I always felt like an outsider to the Catholic community I was surrounded by, and found the music performed at the church to be less than inspiring. There was skill and talent behind it, but I was never moved.

What angers me about my former church is how disrespectful they became. The former choir director was a fixture at the church, and the Franciscan priests appeared to be as respectful of him as he was to them. Since the church’s transfer out of the Franciscan order into another Archdiocese this summer, things changed considerably. The new priest’s openly homophobic, aggressive demeanor put off more than just the former choir director; my mother transferred to another church because of it. Attendance is already dwindling, so this could mean the end of the church. If that is how it has to be, then so be it. I believe that if this church continues on this path, the constant alienation will lead to its downfall.

Filling the Space

This past weekend, TWM's Visioning Workshop brought together 20 women all looking for some clarity and direction. Some were Visioning virgins while others were Visioning veterans and some fell in between, but no matter what we expected that day, we all got a few surprises.

Even though this was only technically my second Visioning Workshop, I’ve made a few collages over the past few years. Whenever I felt I needed to get in touch with my inner voice and desires, I carved out several hours in the day and tried to recreate the experience I had that first time. Each collage helped guide me a bit during a time I needed it and while they were all different, there were some things I came to expect from them: big images, pictures of strong or active people (usually women), and bold colors. But my collage on Saturday surprised me because it was a departure in quite a few ways.

For starters, there is a lot of white, empty space – more than in any collage I’ve done before. In the past, collages with white space were balanced with the large images and bold colors, but while this one might seem colorful to some, there is a lot more black and white than others as well.

The space concerned me because I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Is it a sign of de-cluttering like one person suggested, or about needing and having space in my own life as somebody else did? Or is it something more troubling like feeling unfulfilled? I’m still not sure what to think, but I’m feeling much less pessimistic about it now. Maybe my friend is right and it’s about narrowing down the things in my life I want to spend my energy on.

I’m going to ponder it some more, but I’m happy to be filling the space with things I love in the meantime.

Sailing Into the Zone

I don't know what's up with me all of a sudden, but I am feeling oh-so-efficient and productive these days. It's almost freaky. I wake up in the morning, roll toward my laptop (this constitutes my commute to the office) and start plugging away with a smile on my face. About eight hours later, I find myself wondering, "Where did the day go, and why haven't I eaten?"

Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. I usually have toast and tea about two hours in when my tummy starts rumbling. But THAT'S IT. Which is totally weird because usually you can't keep me out of the kitchen. Snack on this, snack on that, freshen my glass of whatever I happen to be sipping to wash it all down....

But the point is not my lack of sustenance (which is awkward) or the fact that I am actually losing weight (which I am), but the reality that I'm suddenly capable of an elevated level of focus that's really working out for me. I'm accomplishing things! New endeavors, yes, but also things that I've put off for a while and needed to pick back up.

For the last few months, I've just been slogging through task after task, working toward deadlines and taking care of the minutiae, but it all seemed piecewise and disconnected. Suddenly, the big picture, the future, a sense of what is ahead has crystalized in front of me. I feel a sense of direction that I've been looking for for a while now. I haven't felt lost, exactly. For a long time I've known more or less where I'm headed. Perhaps it's akin to steering a ship into the darkness toward a distant shoreline. Eventually the sun comes up one day and you can see mountains on the horizon. You still have a ways to sail, but, hurrah!

I don't know what has changed, or where this new mindset is coming from but I have the feeling that everything that has been up in the air for so long is finally starting to come together. I hope I can stay In The Zone a while longer!

Friday Forum: Past Visions

Tomorrow is TWM's Visioning Workshop, and as some of us are getting ready to see what our collages will show us, we were looking back at some of our collages workshops past.

Have you ever made a Visioning board or collage? What did the last one show you?

Explore Your Vision

There's still time and space left for you to RSVP to TWM's upcoming Visioning Workshop this weekend. Check out the details below and RSVP today!

VISIONING WORKSHOP: Using Your Creativity and Intuition to Gain Clarity, Find Focus and Manifest Your Dreams Saturday, September 24th, 11:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. 
Feeling a little confused with all that's going on with your career and the economy? Not sure what to do next with your life? Maybe your just a bit unsatisfied overall but can't exactly pinpoint what it is... 
Our Visioning Workshop can help you sort it all out! 
Come to our popular and powerful semi-annual workshop for a creative, transformative afternoon where you will make a collage to manifest your heart's desire - and you may be surprised as to what that turns out to be. 
It's not unusual for participants to start new businesses, relationships, families or career paths as quickly as weeks or months after the workshop. If you are looking for both answers and results to help figure out where you are right now in your life and where you want to go next, this could be thing exact thing you need to push you forward and take you there.  

COST: $85 for TWM Members*; $135 for Non-Members *TWM Members can bring a friend at the member rate! LOCATION: TRS Professional Suites, 44 East 32nd St, 11th Floor 
RSVP on Facebook or by emailing sally@thewomensmosaic.org 

CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS

A Real Role Model

A close family friend of my Mom’s passed away a few days ago, and I am still trying to come to terms with it. I met him last year when visiting India with my Mom. She met him and his future wife in nursing school in the 1960s, and became close friends. I learned from Arvind Uncle that his biological father gave him up to an orphanage run by Christian missionaries as a baby, just after his mother passed away. He said with no judgment or bitterness that he was glad that he stayed at the well run orphanage, even after his biological father attempted to get him back years later, because his childhood there helped make him who he was. He valued life, and never took it for granted.

I visited the orphanage and church where he married his wife, one my Mom’s best friends. I also toured the leprosy hospital that they worked in after finishing nursing school, which is also located on the same grounds. Arvind Uncle told me he could have worked overseas and made a great deal of money, but he felt called to work with leprosy patients, and never regretted his decision. I really admire him and his wife for their dedication to their work and their patients.

He also considered himself my Mom’s brother, and would tell people who asked about his family outside of his wife and children that he had a sister in the United States. Mom lost touch with her friends for years, so when they miraculously got back in touch with each other, their friendships were as strong as ever. I will never forget arriving at the airport to visit them, and being greeted by Arvind Uncle and most of his family with bouquets of flowers. I have never had such a warm reception before! In the few days that followed, I felt like I was a part of his family; my time with them was one of the best experiences I had in India. Returning to the country will never be the same.

Sick Days & Homework

Sally's feeling a bit too sick to write for you today, but you should take this as a chance to do some "homework." Look back at our archive of posts, pick three categories you are interested in and skim through the content. Let us know how you like it!

A Grand Experience

I recently traveled to the Grand Canyon, in Arizona. As a total coincidence, shortly before the trip I happened to read a commentary which mentioned that the Grand Canyon is one of the few famous sights that when you actually lay eyes on it, doesn’t disappoint. I found myself dwelling on this comment a great deal during my westward journey, and feeling hopeful, because I’d gotten myself very excited about the trip and I didn’t want to be let down.

The line of commentary struck me, because it made me realize that I’d been slightly worried about this in the weeks before the trip–worried about being disappointed by the canyon, based on my larger than life expectations. It wasn’t a conscious concern, but one of those back-of-the-mind naggings that you just can’t quite get a handle on until it eventually comes to light or fades quietly away.

I realized that, in the past, I’ve felt that way about certain tourist attractions—that the anticipation is sometimes greater than the actual experience, and in the end high expectations can diminish the overall result. When you get yourself so ramped up to see something, and people are all telling you how great it is, sometimes the imagination runs away with itself. Particularly as someone with a very active creative mind, the inescapable fantasies can sometimes overwhelm reality. (This happens to me all the time with books, movies, plays—the greater the hype, the more likely to be a slight let down.)

Fortunately, I was pleasantly surprised by the Canyon. It did not disappoint. The views were breathtaking, the weather was amazing, and the overall experience was really special. All I ended up being disappointed about is that my camera wasn’t able to fully capture the grandeur of the canyon in two dimensions. Oh, well. I’ll just have to settle for a mess of great memories!

Friday Forum: Summer's End

Now that we're a couple of weeks past Labor Day weekend, that can only mean one thing: the end of summer!

How would you rate your summer? Share some of your highlights in the comments.

Link Love for 9/15

It's been too, too long since the last time we had a link love roundup, so we're bringing it back today and splitting it up between two weeks. Check out the links below and leave links in the comments to what you've been reading and writing online.

Awaken Your CAREERpreneur contemplates how to deal with the moments in which we don't feel any progress.

Savvy Ladies has a really interesting look at what hair (yes, hair!) means for your career.

Global Sister reminds us that we need more women in technology fields, and gives great examples of rocking women already in them.

In Good Company wants us to think about authenticity and how to stay true to it in the age of social media.

Tune in for more stories in a couple of weeks!

Snail Mail Sorrows

I use email every day for work mostly, and sometimes to keep in touch with friends and family. But nothing beats a handwritten letter or card in my mail box from someone I know; it beats the usual junk mail from a certain cable company that won’t take no for an answer, or the coupons I will never use because I don’t shop at those particular stores. Now that the U.S. Post Office is in danger of default, I wonder like many others how they will change, and what those changes will be when they do. I cannot imagine a snail mail-free world, where all communications will be conducted online. That will not be a good day, if it is inevitable.

In addition to receiving handwritten cards and letters from people I know in the mail, I enjoy reciprocating the gesture whenever I have the time to do it. I love buying stationery and cards to keep with me so I can have them ready when needed. I have lost mail once or twice using the U.S. Postal Service, and the idea of no Saturday mail is unnerving. Why can’t the agency adjust to remain viable in an Internet-friendly world? Better customer service alone would help revive mail service greatly, and make them competitive in a good way. I just cannot imagine an America without her many post offices, period. It feels wrong, in every way.

So while there is still Saturday service, and there are post office employees willing to answer questions in a more efficient manner, I will continue to send cards and letters to family and friends within the U.S. and overseas. I hope Congress and the Postmaster General make the right decisions before it is too late to preserve the U.S. Postal Service for all of us. I will never give up on snail mail, and hope I will never have to.

Do you enjoy receiving and sending snail mail? Why or why not?

Why We "Never Forget"

This past Friday, I had dinner with two friends I've known since high school as a sort of housewarming for one who recently moved into a studio in Manhattan. 

During the course of the night, we mostly talked about dating, careers, the earthquake and hurricane, and life updates. At one point, we broke out the yearbook and tried to figure out who and what we remembered from all those years ago. Between things we blocked out and our poor memories, there wasn't all that much... But we did all remember 9/11.

It was practically inevitable that this come up given the anniversary was two days away and that security had beefed up that week for the two of us work downtown. We remembered what classes we were each in when it happened, the chaos in the cafeteria later that day during lunch, and so forth. 

We didn't talk about it for very long and we didn't linger on the pages of our yearbook dedicated to it because the truth is we didn't need to. You can never really forget about 9/11, especially if you lived here when it happened and still live here now, or when your morning routine means walking past the construction at Ground Zero. On the anniversary itself, I avoided all the hoopla, not because I don't care or because I don't think it's important to acknowledge the lives lost, but because a lot of us really have not forgotten. We didn't need a day to think back on that event because we do it on our own all the time. So even though a lot of us resist the "never forget" tagline, it really is something we live.

Friday Forum: Remembering

We can't go into this weekend without acknowledging that it's the 10th anniversary of 9/11. It's a strange time for all of us, but it's certainly one of those moments in which we all come together whether in solidarity or simply to feel a bit less alone. Some will be praying in churches, some will be volunteering for the 9/11 Day of Service and Remembrance, some will be spending time with their loved ones, and others will simply be waiting for the day to be over. Whatever way you spend the day, it's impossible to escape it.

How are you spending the anniversary of 9/11?

Find Your Vision

You've been asking about the next Visioning Workshop, and we've got answers for you. Get the details for TWM's next workshop in just a few weeks and reserve your spot today.

VISIONING WORKSHOP: Using Your Creativity and Intuition to Gain Clarity, Find Focus and Manifest Your Dreams
Saturday, September 24th, 11:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.

Feeling a little confused with all that's going on with your career and the economy? Not sure what to do next with your life? Maybe your just a bit unsatisfied overall but can't exactly pinpoint what it is...

Our Visioning Workshop can help you sort it all out!

Come to our popular and powerful semi-annual workshop for a creative, transformative afternoon where you will make a collage to manifest your heart's desire - and you may be surprised as to what that turns out to be.

It's not unusual for participants to start new businesses, relationships, families or career paths as quickly as weeks or months after the workshop. If you are looking for both answers and results to help figure out where you are right now in your life and where you want to go next, this could be thing exact thing you need to push you forward and take you there.

COST: $85 for TWM Members*; $135 for Non-Members
*TWM Members can bring a friend at the member rate!
LOCATION: TRS Professional Suites, 44 East 32nd St, 11th Floor

RSVP on Facebook or by emailing sally@thewomensmosaic.org

CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS

A Decade Later

Like most Americans, especially those who live near Manhattan or Washington D.C., I will never forget September 11, 2001. I was half asleep listening to the radio when I first heard that a plane hit the World Trade Center’s North Tower. At that moment, a friend called me to ask if my father worked in one of the Towers, which he did. I jumped out of bed, and ran to the television, where I saw the North Tower on fire, and then the second plane hit the South Tower.

I found out later that my father was late to work that day, and although he witnessed some of the terrible things most of us have only read and seen footage of on television, he was not in the North Tower, which was the building he worked in. He and many others who had just emerged from the subway witnessed the chaos, and then they all walked uptown, away from World Trade Center. My father could not contact my family by phone until later that afternoon, so we spent the first part of the day praying and wondering where he was. When he did arrive home, he was covered in a layer dust from the collapsed buildings. I never asked him how far away he was from the Towers when they went down, and he has never spoken of the attacks since that day.

After learning about a third plane going into the Pentagon and then another one crashing in Pennsylvania on its way to Washington D.C., I wondered (like most Americans) if we were being invaded by terrorists, by way of hijacked planes. My fears subsided as the air space cleared; then I wanted more knowledge to become empowered. In the days, weeks, months, and years that followed, I educated myself to gain further understanding of the world. It might sound cliché to some, but I am forever reminded of how precious and fragile life is. It has been ten years, but I never take what I learned and experienced from that day for granted. I will always remember.

Seeking a Soccer Mom

As a kid, I led a very sheltered life. My sisters and I couldn't do much of anything that wasn't schoolwork or reading and any fun we did have was in the comfort and protection of our own home. That meant no tv on school nights, no visits to friends' homes (though they could come to ours), and no after school activities. This last one seems particularly strange to people I know who grew up with soccer practice, karate, or some other activity that kept them engaged and entertained. 

But I guess I'm making up for lost time because I've recently set up a schedule for myself that makes me feel like I need a soccer mom to keep me on top of things.

It started when I got French lessons from one of those daily deal sites. I still have hopes to travel to Paris and live there for a while, so French lessons are necessary and they were a good deal. They were nearing expiration and I finally found a class that didn't conflict with my schedule, so starting in a couple of weeks, I'll be spending every Thursday conjugating verbs and working on my accent.

Soon after getting that deal, I saw one for voice lessons. Having been a singer way back in junior high and high school, I have always wished I could have kept up with it, so I just had to sign up. I had my first lesson a few days ago and am ready for the next few. I'm even thinking I might keep going back once a month or so. The most recent addition to my schedule is a creative writing course through Gotham (another daily deal), and although that doesn't begin for a couple of months, I've got it in mind even now. 

The good thing is that these classes don't overlap too much because one set is winding down by the time the next one starts, but it's strange to realize my schedule suddenly resembles that of a very active child. At least I'll be doing things I enjoy rather than something my parents pressured me to do!

Labor Day Learning

Happy Labor Day, America!

Labor Day has always been a holiday I think of fondly. As a kid, it meant going to Labor Day family camp, celebrating a family member's birthday, and most importantly--getting a long weekend off of school when it had only just begun for the year. (I always found this early day off very helpful as a way to re-acclimate to the school-year schedule.)

I guess I've always known that Labor Day is a holiday to celebrate workers, but I really didn't know much about it beyond that, so I visited the Department of Labor website and learned a little bit more about Labor Day's history and evolution as a national holiday.

Here are some highlights, for those of you who don't want to expend energy clicking links or learning on your day off, either:

• Labor Day was first celebrated in 1882 in New York City.
• It became a national holiday in 1894.
• The day used to be celebrated with parades and public events, but this practice declined over time. (Maybe it was just too much work?)
• Celebratory speeches are still broadcast (who knew?) in honor of the day, by elected officials, union leaders and others.

Bottom line: the working people of our country deserve a day off now and again, particularly one designated to honor and respect all of our contributions to the nation's economy and lifestyle.

We work hard, so today it's time to play. Rest, relax, enjoy some time to yourself or with friends and family. Happy Labor Day!

Friday Forum: Bearing the Elements

The last couple of weeks have been quite interesting here in NYC and throughout many parts of the Northeast. We've survived an earthquake and a hurricane-turned-tropical-storm, and all of this only months after the blizzard. There was a lot of panic and preparation, some might say too much.

How do you prepare for a natural disaster? Do you take the warnings seriously or brush them off?

Women, Entrepreneurship, and Pushing Through

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes back Adelaide as a special guest blogger who let us interview her before the launch of the book The Big Enough Company: Creating a business that works for you. Check out her post last week and read her responses for today below:

Adelaide Lancaster is an entrepreneur, speaker and co-founder of In Good Company Workplaces, a first-of-its-kind community, learning center and co-working space for women entrepreneurs in New York City. She lives in Philadelphia, PA with her husband and daughter.


How did your path through entrepreneurship affect your personal growth?
This could be a whole other book! I’ve learned a tremendous amount about myself and grown in ways I couldn’t imagine. My two favorite lessons have been:
1. It’s ok to present the imperfect. In fact there are benefits to it. By sharing a work in progress you’re more likely to get critical feedback and support from others. Also it removes the pressure to “know all the answers.”
2. Success comes from taking small steps. Nothing happens overnight and it’s the day-to-day, hand over fist kind of work that moves you forward. It’s important to have perspective about the big picture but more importantly than that it’s critical that you have a functional and satisfying daily experience.

Why do you think women in particular might be drawn to entrepreneurship?
People are drawn to entrepreneurship for a variety of reasons, but perhaps the most compelling of all is the opportunity to create something that works for you and honors your needs. I think the spike in women entrepreneurship has been due, in part, to the fact that more corporate and traditional employment options didn’t offer the variety and autonomy that women have been looking for. Generally women have felt that they’ve had to make huge personal compromises in order to remain fully engaged at work. Of course everyone has to make compromises but I think that women have been confident in their ability to create businesses that allow them to have a life as well. They exploit and leverage their newfound freedom to create a solution that works for them.

What did the process of writing the book teach you?
That sometimes you just need to push through a challenge. There are many days where the words aren’t flowing and writing feels like an uphill battle. It’s even more important for you to honor your commitment to write on these days. Getting words on paper is the hardest part, editing is much easier.

What is the one takeaway you hope women will get out of the book?
That entrepreneurship is an amazing opportunity to create your work and life on your terms. But it doesn’t come automatically. You have to work hard to craft a business that meets your needs and delivers what you want. So don’t get distracted by “proven systems” or even most of the conventional wisdom. It just isn’t worth compromising your needs and goals in service of someone else’s definition of success.