The Truth in What You Hear*

The following was originally posted on January 19, 2012. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.


CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Amanda as a guest blogger this week:

Amanda Grant lives in Hoboken, NJ and enjoys spending time with her two year-old son Isaac and dancing. She left her successful 24-year career and founded USAdopt in New York to help potential parents navigate and accelerate the U.S. adoption process.

Have you ever considered adopting a child from the U.S. but thought: “if I adopt in the U.S., the birthmother can take back her baby” or “it’s too expensive” or “I won’t adopt from foster care because those kids are beyond healing”? If you’ve had these thoughts or similar ones, I encourage you to hear me out and reconsider the possibilities.

Four years ago, I was in the same place. I knew I wanted to become a parent by adoption, even though I wasn’t married, but didn’t know where to begin. All I knew was what I “heard” which wasn’t encouraging. So I researched and today I can tell you that most of what we “hear” about domestic adoption is incorrect or incomplete. I’m the proud mother of a beautiful, healthy boy born in New Jersey who I adopted at birth.

I had a positive experience adopting my son but not everybody does because the misinformation makes it challenging for even the smartest to filter out the facts. I became so passionate about helping people navigate the complex process that I left my 24-year career in asset management to start USAdopt.

USAdopt is a domestic adoption consultancy (not an agency or facilitator) that guides people through the process and prepares them for every step. When people know the facts, it often changes their perspective on and opens doors they didn’t know existed. For example, did you know:

Domestic adoptions cannot be revoked once finalized in court; they’re permanent.

Birthmothers cannot come back and take your adopted child. Even in an open adoption, the amount of contact information you provide is in your control.

There’s an adoption for every budget. There are tax credits, subsidies, grants, loans and fundraising alternatives to finance an adoption.

It’s usually less expensive to adopt from the U.S. than another country, and there’s a greater likelihood of receiving accurate medical history.

There were over 22,000 newborns available for adoption in the U.S. in 2010.

Many foster children, given a safe and loving home, will grow to be responsible, productive, self-sufficient adults.

Being single or part of the LGBT community does not reduce your ability to adopt a domestic child.

These are just a few of the facts that aren’t commonly known, and there are many more. We offer a free consultation so to find out how USAdopt can help you achieve your dreams of building a family, please contact me at agrant@usadopt.com.

Gay Marriage Is Right*

This piece was originally posted on June 22, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

The ongoing debate about gay marriage, particularly in New York and New Jersey, has flared up annoyance and some anger in me. Every time I think we as a society are moving closer towards acceptance of all law abiding people, regardless of sexual orientation, I am reminded by certain people that we still have a very long way to go. I have heard it said many times that the pursuit of equal rights for gay and lesbian citizens is our latest civil rights movement. People may dispute this vehemently, but I believe it is true.

I think the opposition to gay marriage shared by a number of religious groups is one of the main reasons why I am no longer religious. Born and raised a Roman Catholic and having attended Catholic schools in New Jersey, I felt genuinely repressed and ill at ease with religion as a whole. I always believed in a Higher Power, but I find the bigotry towards gays and lesbians to be contradictory to Christian values of acceptance and love. I have a distinct aversion for people who consider themselves closer to God based simply on which religious group they belong to, especially when they speak words ranging from ignorance to pure hatred towards those they see as outsiders.

As a straight woman who believes that there are many people out there who should not be married due to their destructive personalities, I am also supportive of anyone who wants to enter into the matrimonial state for all the right reasons. Love, friendship, respect, loyalty, and more can be shared by any two people who want to grow old together, and that is a beautiful thing. Regardless of the outcome of the pending vote in New York for or against gay marriage, I will always see any union between two loving people the same way, regardless of sexual orientation. Regulating love is never a good thing.

Friday Forum: Friday the 13th

When Friday the 13th rolls around, it brings out the (sometimes hidden) superstitions that many of us carry. Are you superstitious? Does superstition affect your behavior on Friday the 13th?

Making Time To Eat

I must preface this post by stating that I do not have an eating disorder of any kind; I am just someone who occasionally forgets to eat when I get too busy. I love food too much to make myself throw up or deny myself on a daily basis. I also do not care about being thinner; I just want to be healthy. With that out of the way, I can now share my rare but sometimes annoying habit of working so much so that I forget to eat breakfast, lunch, and even dinner without planning to do so. I am always drinking water and herbal tea no matter how busy I get, but there are one or two days in a month where I find myself wondering why I did not stop to have a meal. I want to make sure that this does not become a habit.

The answer is really quite simple; I have to make myself more mindful. Food is fuel, and running on empty is never a good idea, unless it is done as part of a planned fast. My problem is that at times, I am not mindful, and therefore the hours slip by with me working away on my computer, with tea and water readily available, but no food in sight. I have decided to program my mobile phone to alert me when it is time to eat meals and even snacks. I like almonds and fruit, so I have created alerts with the names of those snacks, which will hopefully train me to stop starving myself without wanting to, even on my busiest days.

Ever since I started working as a consultant for a relocation company, which allows to me to work from home most of the time, I find that I have to work harder to stick to a fixed schedule. I work late hours at times, and this can sometimes disrupt my daily routine. Mindfulness is the key when it comes to eating, so I know I have to get control of it for my overall well-being.

Changing of the Guard*

The following was originally posted on February 1, 2011 on Kristina's blog. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of career development, work/life wellness and personal growth.

Congress ushered in a new Speaker of the House, Queen Elizabeth is thinking about abdicating so that Prince William may actually get a shot at being King; Tunisia did, and now Egypt is on the brink of overthrowing their longtime leaders; American television staples Larry King, Regis Philbin and ET’s Mary Hart, whose careers took off around the same time as Hosni Mubarak came into power, are all retiring as well. What is the world coming to?!

Change is certainly in the air and tomorrow is the Lunar New Year*, so it’s another good time to start fresh for the next twelve months. What are you ferociously guarding in your life- and is it worthy of protecting, or are you just doing so because it’s been that way for the past 30 years? What people, ideas, jobs, things, ways of thinking might you be holding on to that are old, stagnant, outdated, served their purpose, overstayed their welcome or just need to step down so that something better and fresher can take their place?

What about that old persona you’ve been wearing?  We’re usually our own worst enemies, so maybe it’s time to take a look at the dictator who rules our lives – benevolent or not - and see how we might be restricting ourselves or abusing our power; where we’ve gotten into a rut, how we might have outgrown our ‘schtick’, or perhaps need a new audience to reflect back to us different facets of who we are. 

Often things are so ingrained in us we can’t easily recognize them ourselves, so we need some deep reflection and outside perspective. After participating in a  Visioning Workshop and then working with me the following four months, a client has completely turned her perspective around, resurrected the true essence of who she is, embraced her new direction, and in turn literally looks like a different person and ten years younger! 

Need a little help toppling your own personal outdated regime? Give me a buzz and I’ll help all the repressed parts or yourself rise up to have more say in governing your world, or at least get higher ratings.

FRIDAY FORUM: Hollywood Blockbusters

The 4th of July weekend always comes hand-in-hand with big blockbuster summer movies. How do you feel about Hollywood these days? Are you sick of all of the movie sequels and their massive advertising campaigns, or does it make you excited to go to the theater? Are you a fan of fast action and huge special effects or quieter, more artistic fare? Any big screen adventures you're especially looking forward to this summer?

A Little Help From Non-Friends*

The following was originally posted on July 7, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome Elaine as a first-time guest blogger this week as part of TWM's World of Wellness.





Elaine Hamnett worked for years as a public relations executive before seeking a more fulfilling and meaningful path as a coach. She’s now dedicated to empowering people to get the life of their dreams.

I discovered coaching by watching television -- something I do perhaps more than I should, but who knew it could change your life?

Several years ago, coaching guru Rhonda Britten launched the show “Starting Over” on a major network and five days a week viewers were privy to the inner lives, thoughts, troubles and ultimate growth of six women dedicated to being better. I was addicted instantly and set the DVR (or was it video?) every day. In fact, it was so inspiring to see these women work through their personal blocks, doubts and self-sabotage to get what they really wanted in life that I decided I wanted to be a coach myself. So I got certified and today I am happily helping others be their best.

Coaches believe in the process so strongly that most of us have our own coaches! I have to admit that my relationship with my coach is one of the most rewarding and productive relationships I have. Unlike therapy, coaching doesn’t typically dwell in the past or concentrate on healing wounds. Instead, it is really about forward motion. It allows me to spend 45 minutes a week thinking about what I want and how to get there. That sounds a little odd, but how often do you really think about that and then put a plan in action to achieve your dreams?

And while I can turn to friends when I need advice and comfort, it’s not always ideal. They may be coming from a place of total love, but they might have their own agenda or thoughts on what I should or shouldn’t do, unlike my coach who has nothing at stake when I make a decision. My time there is all about what I want for myself.

If this sounds like what you’re looking for, feel free to check out my website for more information, I’d be happy to speak with you.

Post 911 America, Warts And All*

This piece was originally posted on July 6, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

The United States of America has always had its critics. After the second Iraq War began in 2002, global criticism of the country grew considerably. It was a tricky time; if an American criticized the war, that person was considered unpatriotic. I even heard some people in the media saying that anyone critical against the military efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan should leave the country for good. I was critical of the second Iraq War, but as a sister of a U.S. army officer, I am completely on the side of the troops who were and still are deployed overseas. I found the attacks on people who openly criticized the war to be similar to witch hunts, only there would be no literal burnings at the stake.

Even though I am not a Muslim or an Arab, I was told by a family member that our last name implies that we could be one or both. He also claimed that we were facing bias because of it in the workplace. I personally never felt this, and refused to succumb to pressure to change my last name in the new Post-9/11 America. After all, Sikhs were being attacked because of their turbans, and they are not Arabs or connected to the Muslim religion. These attacks really had to do with xenophobia, which is an unreasonable fear or hatred of foreigners and anything foreign. When I heard about the murder of a Sikh man mistaken for an Arab on September 15, 2001, I remembered reading that the murderer was ignorant and xenophobic to begin with. After 9/11, he decided to unleash his hatred as a form of vigilante justice on those who did not look right to him.

As I celebrate the America’s birthday this week, I am reminded of our continuing struggles for freedom and against bigotry. I am proud that as an American, I can openly support and criticize my country without fear of imprisonment. Difficult times, such as those faced after 9/11, remind me that we should NEVER take our freedoms for granted.

Women's Words*

The following was originally posted on November 9, 2009. It is being reposted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.

I consider myself a feminist, but honestly, gender discrimination isn't something I think deeply about on a daily basis. I'm not so naïve as to believe it's a non-issue, just one that I'm not confronted with too overtly anymore. Turns out, I may need to rethink my position.

I was one of many people upset by Publishers Weekly's recent announcement of their "Top Ten Books of 2009." A list that included no female authors.

Knowing nothing beyond that, my initial reaction was lukewarm. All things being equal, the odds are strongly against an all male list occurring by coincidence, but... it could happen. And they didn't completely ignore women--there were 29 included in their "Top 100." Still, a low total. As I considered it, the less lukewarm I became. A little steamed. A lot steamed. Hot.

I spent several days in dialogue with other women writers, collectively bent on responding. After all, who else was going to spotlight this oversight? As articles were written, and the conversation unfolded online, the range of public opinion stretched far and wide. From the overtly sexist ("Women just can't write as well as men."), to the inane ("It was a bad year for women writers."), to the delusional ("We're in a post-gender America. Quality trumps quotas."), arguments abounded. Few people seemed willing to accept our critique and move on.

All in all, I observed more anger directed at the women who were protesting the PW list, than at the list itself. Many people seem to believe that PW should be allowed to have their opinion about the best books of the year, without anyone second-guessing them, yet women writers aren't allowed to disagree without being pegged as reverse-sexist, or worse, a special-interest minority group vying for an unearned piece of the recognition pie.

In the end, does any of it matter? The PW editors and their sexism--whether intentional or subconscious--matter very little in the long run. It is just one list, one moment, one group's opinion. The true value of this experience, for me, was watching women writers come together to say something important. It's unfortunate to realize that we still have reason to unite in protest, but it's good to know that we still can.

FRIDAY FORUM: Independence Day

With July 4 coming up next Wednesday, here at CHICKS ROCK! we're definitely feeling the freedom of summer. Since the holiday falls right in the middle of the work week this year, it may be harder than usual to make a "holiday weekend" out of the occasion. But whether it's just for one day, or a week-long extended celebration, we know most Americans will carve out some time to celebrate. How will you spend the 4th of July?

The Half-Year Review

We're now half way through the year, so this would be a good time to think about some of the goals you set for yourself, and how you're doing. Even better than that might be writing about it! It may help give you some perspective, and you can get support from others. So think about it, and email us at chicksrockblog@gmail.com with your guest post!

Surviving Narcissistic Personality Disorder

We all know at least one narcissist, whether we are aware of it or not. I am educating myself about narcissistic personality disorder, also known as NPD, because a member of my family has it. I always knew there was something seriously wrong in my interactions with this person, but I did not understand what it was. Now that I know, I feel liberated; knowledge really is power.

A narcissist is someone who lacks empathy for other people; the individual knows the difference between right and wrong, but the ego always prevails. This particular family member of mine is (and always was) self-serving to a fault. I cannot imagine ever having a meaningful relationship with him in the future, because we never had one to begin with. This person has repeatedly said he does not care if my other family members and I ever speak to him again, because he believes he is right and the rest of us are wrong. Now that I recognize this as one of the symptoms of NPD, his behavior is at last de-mystified for me. I always knew that trying to reason with this individual was a waste of time, but now understanding that most narcissists like him never seek treatment because they don’t recognize the problem releases me from any residual guilt I had about our non-existent relationship.

I would suggest to anyone curious about NPD and certain people in their lives (a boss, friend, family member, spouse, or significant other) to use the Internet as your initial guide. Mayo Clinic’s website sums up the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder best, in my opinion. If you want to go further, then I recommend The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family, by Eleanor D. Payson, M.S.W. Of the many books I have come across about NPD, I find that this one explains the disorder with the most clarity.

Do you know or think you know anyone with NPD?

A Woman's Table*

The following was originally posted on September 20, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.

Last week I went to the Brooklyn Museum to see The Dinner Party, created by Judy Chicago (and hundreds of volunteers), a landmark piece of feminist art from the late 1970's. Surprisingly, I had never heard of this piece, which is now on permanent exhibition as the centerpiece of the museum's Elizabeth Sackler Center for Feminist Art.

The Dinner Party is a large triangular table with dinner place settings for 39 women (real and mythical) who over the course of history have impacted feminism, women's rights, and/or the perception of women in the world. Each featured woman represents a cadre of women who made related contributions, and 999 additional names are scrawled on floor tiles in the center. Some represented include The Fertile Goddess, Hatshepsut, Sappho, Elizabeth I, Sojourner Truth, Virginia Woolf and Georgia O'Keefe.

Each place setting contains a unique plate and table runner styled to represent the individual woman's contribution, plus an identical fork, knife and goblet to represent the unity among them. The ceramic plates feature stylized butterfly/flower/vulva forms, and the intricately stitched table runners and ceramic work alike spotlight centuries of “unsigned” women’s art—the quilts, clothing, dishes and more that women have sewn, painted and created over time.

As with any piece of (woman-centered) art of this scale and attention, The Dinner Party was controversially received. Developed between 1974-1979, and debuted in San Francisco, it then existed without a permanent home for over two decades. Is this so surprising, given that women’s work and art has traditionally been pushed to the margins? Let alone a piece of women’s art designed to highlight that very history…

Personally, I found the piece impressive, intriguing and inspiring, but most of all--it begs a conversation. After all, what else is a dinner party for?

FRIDAY FORUM: Weekend Getaways

When summer rolls around, many of us start thinking about going on vacation. Not everyone has the time or budget to take a long vacation in the summer, but there are plenty of fun ways to get out and enjoy the season while sticking close to home. What are your favorite summer getaways for day or weekend trips?

Don't Worry, Be Happy*

The following was originally posted on June 9, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.




CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.


Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.

As the saying goes, there are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes and change. Change comes in all shapes and sizes, some more scary than others. Climate change, career change, graduations, marriages and relationships changes, TV changes, sex changes, change of residences, and regime change to name a few - and June seems chock full of them!

Most folks have a hard time with change. We'd rather stay comfy and/or miserable rather than letting go of our crutches and seeing what else life might have in store us. We cannot control things but we can control how we respond to them: we can resist and go kicking and screaming or we can accept that change happens, and just go with the flow.

Going with the flow means listening to yourself, and giving yourself what you need at any particular moment. The best way to navigate change is to trust in yourself and be your own best counsel, so it's important to have that 'muscle' in place as you go over the white water rapids of feelings that come with this thing called life.

Change is not always fun, but it's almost always for the better, because change forces growth and growth is good. And once the change happens, we can't be like a goldfish who lived in a fishbowl his whole life but then when put into the ocean still swims around in a little circle as if he were still in a bowl!

David Bowie tells us time can change you but you can't trace time. So this summer, if you feel you are ready to be hatched, then fly, be free! Not quite like Mork's egg, but more like Steve Miller's Eagle or with the help of Bob Marley's Three Little Birds and the wonder of that other Stevie who sings, Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing.

A Better Decade?*

This piece was originally posted on January 6, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

Sure, a new year has just begun. But this stands out because it is also the beginning of a new decade, which was the prevalent thought in my mind as the minutes and seconds went by on New Year’s Eve. When the 2000s began, I already felt a sense of dread because of the election of the most recent former U.S. President, yet I had no idea what changes the decade would bring into all of our lives. I know I am no psychic, but I like to think that my instincts are pretty good. Will the second decade of the second millennia be a good one? I guess it all depends on what your definition of good is, in this case.

From a global perspective, I certainly hope that the new decade will be known for more responsible leadership. We are all human of course, so there will be many mistakes, but I think the shame alone of being charged with corruption and/or personal indiscretions may decrease the number of scandals in the future. Maybe it won’t, but I refuse to believe that no lessons have been learned so far. I would like to think that future economic recessions will not be as severe as the one we are currently recovering from, but it was far worse during the Great Depression of the 1930s, so I think we are getting smarter in general when it comes to money. I am hopefully optimistic about this; it is not a case of wishful thinking on my part.

Will this decade mark the defeat of terrorism and global warming? I see no easy answers, but I am convinced that we will achieve control of these and other difficult situations in the years to come. I just have to believe that better days are ahead for all of us. Yes, it could very likely to wishful thinking after all.

Do you agree that we will “get it together” in 2010 and beyond?

Seeking a Soccer Mom*

This piece was originally posted on September 6, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

As a kid, I led a very sheltered life. My sisters and I couldn't do much of anything that wasn't schoolwork or reading and any fun we did have was in the comfort and protection of our own home. That meant no tv on school nights, no visits to friends' homes (though they could come to ours), and no after school activities. This last one seems particularly strange to people I know who grew up with soccer practice, karate, or some other activity that kept them engaged and entertained.

But I guess I'm making up for lost time because I've recently set up a schedule for myself that makes me feel like I need a soccer mom to keep me on top of things.

It started when I got French lessons from one of those daily deal sites. I still have hopes to travel to Paris and live there for a while, so French lessons are necessary and they were a good deal. They were nearing expiration and I finally found a class that didn't conflict with my schedule, so starting in a couple of weeks, I'll be spending every Thursday conjugating verbs and working on my accent.

Soon after getting that deal, I saw one for voice lessons. Having been a singer way back in junior high and high school, I have always wished I could have kept up with it, so I just had to sign up. I had my first lesson a few days ago and am ready for the next few. I'm even thinking I might keep going back once a month or so. The most recent addition to my schedule is a creative writing course through Gotham (another daily deal), and although that doesn't begin for a couple of months, I've got it in mind even now.

The good thing is that these classes don't overlap too much because one set is winding down by the time the next one starts, but it's strange to realize my schedule suddenly resembles that of a very active child. At least I'll be doing things I enjoy rather than something my parents pressured me to do!

The Flaw in Films*

The following was originally posted on October 18, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective.


It's possible that many of you are already familiar with the Bechdel Test for women in films, but I found this video by The Feminist Frequency about a surprising phenomenon occurring in many popular feature films today:



If you watched the video, you might not need to read the rest of my post, but here it goes anyway. The Bechdel Test asks three questions of any movie to determine the true presence of women on the screen:

1. Does the film have more than one woman in it (who has a name)?
2. Do they talk to each other at some point?
3. Do they talk about something other than a man?

The first time I heard of this, I felt sure I could immediately name plenty of movies that pass the test. Turned out, I could name some--not plenty--and they weren't always the movies I expected them to be. And it remains truly shocking to me how many of my favorites fail miserably.

How do your long-time favorites stack up? What about any new releases you've checked out lately? Any surprises?

Friday Forum: Summer Retrospective

This summer at CHICKS ROCK! we're taking some time to celebrate our blogging history with a Summer Retrospective. We'll be reposting some of our past content, in addition to adding new posts, featured links and discussion topics as usual. What are some of your favorite posts from the past that you've read here on CHICKS ROCK!? We'd love to feature them again for our new readers!

Link Love for 6/14/2012

It's been a while since our last link love round-up, so we're back to share some of our favorite blog posts! If you know of any other blogs we should have on our blogroll, please link to them in the comments and we might include them in our next link love post.

Alexia Vernon reveals how a humbling moment at her local car wash taught her how to ask for help.

One Writeous Chick returns to collaging and impresses everyone with her playlist at her friend's vision board party.

NYWSE salutes both The Lotus Odyssey and WORK+SHELTER for their sincere commitment to women's concerns and fair operating practices.

In Good Company shares tips on how to re-gain 3 more hours to your day, even to those who are the busiest of all.

Savvy Ladies identifies the symptoms of those who suffer from a scarcity mindset, and how to overcome the affliction. 

Wishes And Their Consequences

Over the years, I have heard the quote “be careful what you wish for because it might come true” and processed it in my mind in different ways. Now, I am faced with some major changes in my life, some of which I wanted to happen for many years, and this same quote has re-entered my mind. While I am happy that some of my wishes are coming true, I am a bit apprehensive of what is to come as a result.

The first change has to do with my family dynamics; without being specific, I will say that I have wanted it to happen ever since I can remember, and now that it is imminent, I am both relieved and wary. The consequences of this major transformation will most likely be positive and negative, but I am hoping that the former will outweigh the latter. My physical reaction to this upcoming wish come true is similar to how I feel right before a roller coaster ride begins: even though my stomach is in knots, I am also looking forward to the good times ahead.

The other change has to do with my moving out of New Jersey to New York City. I am not very nervous about this at all, because it is a transition; I will most likely move next year to another state or possibly overseas. I have wanted to move for a few years now, and I am glad that it is happening. I like the idea of a new address, and re-adjusting my daily routines in another environment. The logistics of moving are never simple, but I am looking forward to reducing my possessions to what I need in my new, temporary home.

When wishes come true and changes take place, details always come into play. When they do, I have a tendency to get too caught up in them to enjoy the overall experience sometimes. I am going to try to avoid this pitfall moving forward. How does “be careful what you wish for, because it might come true” resonate with you?

Doing What We Love*

This piece was originally posted on October 4, 2011. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!

Why do we stop ourselves from doing the things we love? I’ve been struggling lately (and by “lately,” I mean at least a year) with this question.

I have a friend who wants to be an actor and moved to New York partly to pursue that. When I ask him about it, he’s never much closer to taking his acting seriously than he was the time I asked before that. Another aspiring actor studied theatre in college and hasn’t gone on any auditions or even gotten headshots. I also have a friend who used to dance and was quite talented but had to stop years ago. Even though she now has some time and resources to start dancing again, it’s too emotional for her to even try.

All my life, I’ve loved to sing. When I stopped singing regularly with a chorus (or “for real,” as I like to call it), I lost confidence in my ability and eventually it became harder and harder to think about doing it again. Similarly, for the past few months, I’ve found it harder to sit down and write something substantial – one of the things I love doing most. I write here once a week, but it’s nothing like what I used to write when I used to write “for real.”

So I have to ask why it is that we stop ourselves from doing the things we love. I wonder if we don’t think we’re good enough, but it doesn’t seem that simple. I think maybe we don’t think we’re worthy of doing something we truly enjoy – something that has the potential to make us truly happy. Whatever it is, I’m trying to get us all out of our funk. However big or small our steps are, I’m hoping my friends and I can all get back on track… I imagine we’d all be at least a bit more fulfilled.

As Resilient As Glass*

This piece was originally posted on August 2, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Summer Retrospective, during which we will post a combination of new content and posts from the past. Enjoy!


I visited a glassworks in Louisville, Kentucky, earlier this summer, where you could sit and peer through a huge picture window into the active glassblowing studio. I sat for over an hour and watched an artist and his assistants sweat over a single vase, thrusting the glob of red-hot, molten glass in and out of the flames, pinching and turning and shaping and blowing it just so with each extraction. Fascinating.

In the time I watched, the artist drew the vase in and out of the fire once every minute or two, working it, studying it, and finally he held it up for a long inspection. I thought he was finished, he had paused so long, but then he shook his head and slammed it back in, allowing it to lose its shape entirely. He drew out the pulpy mass and started over, scrapping an hour's work, at least. Not angry, just matter-of-fact. You could see it in the set of his shoulders. Not bad, but I can do better.

The heat must have been unbearable. I felt pain for him, as he destroyed his work and started again, but his attitude about it gave me inspiration and hope. Because things don't always go as we plan, the first time. And if you don't give up, there are better things on the horizon. It's as true in life as it is in art, whether it be glassblowing or writing, which is my own stock-in-trade.

Attached to the studio there was a shop and museum of handblown glassware and glass art. I fell in love with about a dozen amazing works of art. In the end, I wasn't able to afford anything in the whole shop, apart from the trinkets at the checkout. I bought a small disk of pale blond-colored glass, swirled with strands of copper and gold, etched with the words SCRIBE DEEP.

It's small--about the size of a half dollar, only thicker, like a Nilla wafer--but it's quickly becoming a favorite touchstone for me in my writing life. A reminder that it isn't enough to go through the motions, but that I have to dig to find what's important. And, that it's okay sometimes to scrap a project and start it over, when I know I can do better. It's not the same as giving up, when the raw material (or, in my case, the idea) is still alive in the flames, ready to be drawn out and made into something beautiful.

Looking to the Skies

Last week’s Manhattanhenge and last night’s Transit of Venus have interested me enough to peer into the skies to see the unusual phenomena. None of us will see Venus pass directly between the sun and our planet again; the next one will take place in December 2117. Thankfully, the more awe-inspiring Manhattanhenge (otherwise known as the Manhattan Solstice), will happen again on July 11th and 12th. The reason why I find this more interesting than the Transit of Venus is because the sun will actually align with the New York City street grid, which really blows my mind. Watching Venus’s trek across the surface of the sun did get a little boring, except for the solar flare near the end of it. Regardless of this, I was and still am interested in more sky and space related natural events.

I would love to see the Aurora Borealis (otherwise known as the Northern Lights) this coming winter where I can properly see them, such as in Canada or Norway. A beautiful natural light show in the skies above would be incredible to see. I would gladly welcome seeing all the streaks of light and their overall beauty for myself, even if I had to be bundled up in multiple layers of fabric to stay warm. There is something exciting about staring into the sky and seeing something so beautiful and almost unexpected.

Witnessing these natural events in the skies create great escapism. I think we as people get too overwhelmed with Earth-bound concerns, so looking above to witness something that happens once in a lifetime, yearly, or every few years is a nice way to look beyond ourselves. I am looking forward to the next Manhattanhenge in a month and any future sky gazing spectacles to come.

The Heart View

Part of the experience of being an author is going on school visits. I went to a school visit in New Mexico recently where the students welcomed me with great enthusiasm, and had prepared art, music and theater projects on the themes of my books in celebration of my visit.

My second novel, CAMO GIRL, is about a girl who doesn't fit in at school and only has one friend. She's self-conscious about her appearance, since she has a skin condition that causes her face to have dark and light patches of skin on it. Mean kids at school tease her about it, which only makes maters worse. Her best friend, though, accepts her for who she is, and she him in return. They sit alone at the outcast table at lunch.

The themes in the book--things like friendship, peer bullying, and self-acceptance--resonate with middle schoolers, and they sit quietly in their rows while I talk about my own experiences of feeling left out as a kid, and how badly I wanted to have lots of friends.

It was especially touching to see the wall of art these particular kids had created in anticipation of my visit. They had read and discussed the book, and they created a collage mural with the main characters' names and decorated an entire hallway to reflect the settings of the book. My favorite piece, though, was the wall of faces they labeled "If you saw me with your heart instead of your eyes." The students decorated a series of identical cut-out faces by putting another, hidden, layer behind them and writing in things about themselves that you might not know by looking at each of them.

I found myself choking up looking at these faces, because it was such a beautiful tribute to the book. And also, because the idea of looking more deeply into people before judging them had been introduced to these young sixth-graders. I hope it's a lesson they will carry with them throughout their lives.

The original hardcover

The new paperback cover!

Friday Forum: TGIF

Remember the TGIF lineup on ABC Friday nights? Sometimes it's fun to reminisce, so tell us what some of your favorite shows were!

Space Travel Expands

When I heard the other day that a private company has made it possible for more individuals to take part in commercial space travel, I was both surprised and not surprised. Like everyone else, I have heard and seen news reports over the years discussing the growth of space travel so that many more private citizens with the funds to do so can make their dreams to be in space for themselves a reality.

To date, there have only been a handful of individuals who have travelled to space as private travelers, and they have all gone to and from the International Space Station. If I am ever in the position to go to space myself, it would be great to go there, but I would love to tour our solar system. I know this is will not happen in my lifetime, but I would like to think future generations would have the option to take a private spacecraft to see most (if not all) of our neighboring planets. Actually stepping down on any other planet’s surface seems like something much far off than just touring the solar system.

I can understand the appeal and the apprehension about space travel; the latter because of the great unknown being frightening to think of at times; after all, we cannot breathe without assistance with machines out there, and while an absence of gravity might be nice at times so we can float from room to room in a roomy spacecraft, it can be annoying if you try to drink a glass of water and the liquid does not make it into your mouth. Still, I cannot imagine refusing the chance to go to space because of these reasons. Of course I would like to see space travel expand so more safety precautions can be perfected. I suppose it was the same for those who were getting used to air travel a century ago.

Would you go to space if you had the chance?

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast

Sally is not available this week, so enjoy today's post by TWM Founder Kristina Leonardi:
 

The unofficial start of summer is traditionally accompanied by a more relaxed, go-with-the-flow kind of attitude. Years ago there were only re-runs on a very limited number of TV channels and no internet to entice/distract/constrain us from being outside enjoying the warmer weather and longer days.

With our 21st century 24/7 lifestyle, this means that we have to consciously take time to disconnect with technology and re-connect with Nature, and ourselves.  

Like that cool special effect in big blockbuster movies of our recent past and present, we need to pause midair and get a full 360 degree view of what is going on around us so that we can take the precise action to defend and/or advance who we are and what we want.

So while in the park or at the beach, be sure to take a moment toreflect on where you really want to be going and why, rather than just moving unconsciously from one activity to the next, day after day. If you've been feeling too anxious or not in control, give me a buzz - I'll take the remote out of your hand, put it on slo-mo, and guarantee you'll be feelin' groovy in no time!

All the Difficult Things

Poster by Debby Dahl Edwardson

Today being Memorial Day, I've decided to offer a tribute to a wonderful friend who passed away this weekend: the children's writer and inspiring teacher Ellen Levine.

Although Memorial Day is officially dedicated to remembering those who've died in service to their country in the armed forces, I would argue that there are many ways to be of service to the country apart from military service. When I think of Ellen Levine today, I am reminded how much we need word warriors, too.

Ellen was the kind of fearless writer who tackled difficult issues head on, and who knew how to wield the power of a story to make a difference. She brought to light stories that many others were too afraid to tell. She wrote about the challenges of McCarthy-era life for a communist family. She wrote about teens dealing with unwanted pregnancy in the days before Roe v. Wade made choice a legal option. She interviewed young civil rights activists, capturing their true stories of the 1960's protest era. She wrote about Japanese internment camps in the Pacific northwest during World War II. And the list goes on.

Ellen did not just write about issues--she put herself on the line for the causes she believed in, stepping forward in the face of all the difficult things about which she felt such deep passion. She marched for civil rights, taught, practiced law, and generally dedicated herself to creating a more just world. She said, "caring about fairness is a big part of the well I dip into....I wonder and still have only bits of an answer for why some people live on the dark side. And why some risk everything to fight the darkness. Here's to fighting the darkness!"

Ellen's latest novel, IN TROUBLE

It's never easy to lose a friend, nor a colleague and mentor. In the days to come, I know that many writer friends of Ellen's will pen beautiful tributes to her, attempting to capture her spirit, her essence one last time before it fades into the ether. But the beauty of a gift like Ellen's is that it keeps on giving. It will not fade, because we won't let it. Ellen's spirit lives on in her published work, but perhaps more importantly, her energy and her advice live on in the many students and friends whose lives and work she touched. Those ripple effects are nowhere near their end.

I believe that on Memorial Day we ought not simply honor what is lost, but also celebrate what has been preserved. When soldiers die on the battlefield, we are ready with medals and parades in their honor. When word warriors die, it may not have been on the battlefield per se, and there may not be medals or parades, but there will surely be quiet revolutions happening in the mind of a child, curled in the corner of a library, captivated by the truth of a story. That is how we can walk forward, knowing that which seems lost is continually being found.

Happy Memorial Day.

Friday Forum: Memorial Day

It's Memorial Day weekend! The start of summer, the season for beach and BBQs, and a day off from work! What are your plans this weekend?

We'd Love to Hear From You

Have suggestions for the blog? Got a favorite blogger you'd like us to feature? Ready to tell your story to people? Email us at chicksrockblog@gmail.com -- we'd love to hear from you!

The War on Bullying

I have mixed feelings about the sentence handed down on Monday in the Rutgers webcam spying case. While I was satisfied with the decision at first, I became less sure of it when I saw and heard the Ravis (the defendant’s parents) plead for leniency on their son’s behalf. Never once in their impassioned speeches did they attempt to reach out to the Clementis to express remorse to them for their loss. Did the defendant physically push his late roommate to his death off the George Washington Bridge? No. Did he intimidate and bully an emotionally fragile young man because of his sexuality? The jurors, the judge, and many others are convinced; I am too.

I know bullies, because I have family members, former classmates and former friends who share this dubious distinction. I remember feeling sick to my stomach when I had to be around any of them as a child, because they seemed to enjoy making me feel worse than I already did about myself. I was never a victim of cyber bullying, but I do recall having unflattering comments about me spread like wildfire. When all eyes were on me due to ridicule, I remember feeling that I wanted to be anyone else but me at those moments. Yet no matter how bad it got for me, I never wanted to end my life as a result. I also remember those who were bullied far worse than I ever was. Memories of what happened to these individuals still haunt me.

I wonder about families of bullies, like the Ravis, who see their child and themselves as misunderstood victims. Insincere apologies are worse than no apologies at all, at least I think so. Still, it is troubling that the defendant has never expressed sympathy to his late roommate’s family for his passing. Perhaps the years will open his eyes to the consequences of his actions; perhaps they won’t. Even though the sentence in this case is lenient, I still believe the bullies are losing in the war against them and their actions. It is about time.

Let the Sun Shine In

Sally is not available this week, so enjoy today's post by TWM Founder Kristina Leonardi:
 
There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.~ Leonard Cohen

I recently had my apartment painted, which is basically like moving without actually moving. The main reason I did it was to force myself to go through all of my belongings and see what should stay and what should go, clean all the nooks and crannies that never get looked at and rearrange things in a better way.  Well, it's working, but for various reasons has been happening s-l-o-w-l-y....and I just need to be okay with that.

In my post The Present of Presence, I mentioned that out of chaos comes clarity.  And I'm always talking about process, how patience is a virtue and the consistent effort needed to make lasting change, One Step at a Time. I'm certainly getting some good practice right now!

It's been a great exercise to dismantle my external life since most days I live and work on the internal side of things.  Just like with physical surgery, sometimes you gotta literally open up, get in there, dig around and rid yourself of and/or fix whatever is not working in order to begin healing and functioning more optimally.  Like my client's ostrich with its head held high on her Vision Board,we have to deal with what is and take action, instead of keeping our heads buried in the sand expecting things to change.

With all the graduations, series, season and competition finales, and loss of some famous folks, it's a reminder to say goodbye to life as a student, to an era, to characters and storylines, and perhaps jobs, people, places and things, and especially old personas that we've outgrown. There are just times in our lives when we need to let it all go to make way for the new.

What needs to be opened up, dismantled, re-examined in your life? What is old and tattered and/or has served its purpose and should be released? What can be put back together in a new and improved way so that you can more easily integrate ALL parts of yourself and more effortlessly move forward in the most positive way on this journey called life?

Whatever area you feel stuck in, be sure to Ch-Check it Out - because only when we look at things from a different perspective can we make different decisions.  Having a hard time letting go of anything that's not Hot Stuff?  Give me a buzz and I'll help you face the music and get you Stayin' Alive in the best version of yourself now and beyond!

37 Things I Love

I'm excited to announce that my new young adult novel, 37 THINGS I LOVE (in no particular order), is going to be available in bookstores tomorrow!

I've been very much looking forward to this book coming out. Here is a little bit about it:

Ellis only has four days of her sophomore year left, and summer is so close that she can almost taste it. But even with vacation just within reach, Ellis isn’t exactly relaxed. Her father has been in a coma for years, the result of a construction accident, and her already-fragile relationship with her mother is strained over whether or not to remove him from life support. Her best friend fails even to notice that anything is wrong and Ellis feels like her world is falling apart. But when all seems bleak, Ellis finds comfort in the most unexpected places.
 

Life goes on, but in those four fleeting days friends are lost and found, promises are made, and Ellis realizes that nothing will ever quite be the same.

The book has gotten several good reviews so far, including this, from Kirkus Reviews:
 "...another powerful outing from a rising star."
 
And this, from Publisher's Weekly:

“Magoon (Camo Girl) gently but unflinchingly explores difficult adolescent territory in this intelligent, affecting novel.”

And this, from the Horn Book:

"There is much to this slim book—coming of age, death, hope, love—and Ellis is a character to care about and cheer on for a long, long time." --Robin L. Smith

This is my third published novel, but experiencing a book's evolution from a wisp of an idea in my head to a full fledged hardcover book never gets old. So...like I said, I'm very excited. I could certainly list 36 more reasons why....but I'll just let you read the book!

Lucky Charms

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.

A rabbit's foot, four-leaf clover or that certain pair of underwear - we all have things in our life that we consider good luck charms. Objects that we hold near and dear to serve the purpose of bringing us a little special magic in whatever scenario we need it.

But what about your inner charms, the things that make you YOU, those little quirks, sayings and even physical characteristics that come together in a combination uniquely yours? That is where your true luck lies, and by using them and trusting where they take you, doors that were previously closed can start to miraculously open.

We spend more time and energy than we realize trying to fit in and conform to certain standards of acceptance. Whether it be in our work, family, relationships, appearance or lifestyle, most people bury to varying degrees the very substance that will make them the most appreciated and successful. So if things aren't going your way right now, why not 'let your freak flag fly' and see what happens?

In Trouble For No Reason

Have you ever been in a situation at work where you did nothing wrong, but the hypersensitivity of others gets you in trouble? This just happened to my mother, a nurse supervisor, who had to report a staffing situation at work, and then recommended that the managers make sure their staffing is secure before they leave for the weekends. She actually got in trouble for writing this, even though this is what managers are supposed to do. Her co-workers and I know she did nothing wrong, but it appears that her direct supervisor agrees with the manager who complained about her email in the first place. My mother has been warned and even threatened with termination if they find fault with her future correspondence. There is definitely more to this story meets the eye.

My mother is planning to retire next year, so she is ready for an earlier termination if it comes. She is also one of the highest paid in her position, so those who do the firing would prefer to let go of someone like her. This way, they can hire someone else to do the same work for much less. My mother’s supervisor, who was just hired last year to clean house, has been very critical of her for nonexistent offences. My mother’s saving grace has always been her great work ethic; if her performance was less than stellar, she definitely would have been fired by now.

The complaint made against my mother is just further proof that those who are great at their jobs, are pleasant and fair to their co-workers, subordinates, and supervisors, and always try to do the right thing can still be on the chopping block for a many complicated reasons. I think the lesson is to continue doing a good job, whatever it may be, but to be aware of those in the position to make life more difficult, for their own reasons. A little paranoia may be necessary for survival.

Have you been in trouble at work for no valid reason?

Challenged

Last night, while making one roommate take photos of my outfit, I explained to my other roommate that I was doing a clothing challenge. For the month of May, I'm wearing only six items of clothing. I can mix and match as desired, accessorize however I'd like and things like shoes, outerwear, and activewear don't count in the six items. 

 After explaining this, my roommate asked "so what do you get in the end?" I stared at her, confused about why people keep asking me this, and said "the knowledge that I was able to do it, of course." That's when she said something I hadn't totally noticed before: "you really like doing these random challenges for fun, don't you?" At first, I didn't know what else she was referring to, but then remembered some of my other recent challenges and realized she was right. In the time she's known me, I had a dating/love life challenge of sorts, then there was the no alcohol in January thing, and more recently trying one new thing a month.

Apparently, challenging myself to do random things people don't normally do is becoming a hobby of mine.

I didn't notice I was doing it, and wasn't really sure why I'm drawn to them, so I started to think it over last night and came to the conclusion that I love competing with myself and proving to myself and others that I can do things I don't initially think I can do. There doesn't need to be any reward at the end and i don't need any glory, just the feeling that I finished something I set out to do.

Do you ever challenge yourself when there isn't necessarily a "prize" at the end?

Meeting Rosa

In the course of my recent travels, I've found that it is very easy for me to draw inspiration from the world around me. I also find that when you set your mind toward learning about a specific topic (in my case, the civil rights and black power movements) the world continuously offers up tidbits of information in even the most unlikely places.

When I was in Dallas recently, I was delighted to encounter this statue of Rosa Parks, one of the celebrated figures of the civil rights movement. The little plaza where she sits (beside a bus station, appropriately!) is something of a monument to the cause she struggled for, with a quote from the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King emblazoned on the fountain wall behind her.

It's a nice monument, of course, but what surprised me was finding it in Dallas, far from the Montgomery, Alabama, location of Ms. Parks's actual public bus sit-in in 1955. Certainly her story has ascended to a position of national prominence, and I'd be thrilled to find more statues of people like her scattered around the country, but in this case it still caught me off guard. In a good way.

I like being surprised and delighted by the world around me. When I am home, moving through my familiar circles, it is so easy to keep my head down and follow an expected path, rather than opening my eyes to what unexpected things might be lurking around any given corner. Like my new fondness for public art, the inspiration of random encounters is helping me think in new and creative ways, and I find it exciting.

Have you been surprised or inspired lately?

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 4

We love our guest bloggers here at CHICKS ROCK!, so read through the diverse stories they've shared with us.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 3

One topic we love writing about here at CHICKS ROCK! is travel and since it fits so well with our "spring break" theme, take a look back at our travel posts.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 2

As we continue our spring break at CHICKS ROCK!, let's look back on the posts about finding your voice and how important that is.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 1

We're a bit late in taking our spring break this year at CHICKS ROCK! But for today, take a look back at some of our personal growth posts and reflect on your own personal growth.

Friday Forum: Favorite Fakes

This weekend is one of the bigger "fake" holidays of the year: Cinco de Mayo. The misconception is that it celebrates Mexican Independence Day, but it's not actually a holiday many Mexicans celebrate. In some ways, it's similar to St. Patrick's Day, another fun "fake". Which is your favorite "fake" holiday?

What Are You Looking For?

We love making this site more about you and what you want, so we're doing another check-in to see what you're looking for. What type of content do you want to read? What writers would you like to see more of? Let us know in the comments or by emailing!

Beware of Scorpions

I always loved Aesop’s fables, but almost forgot one that has now become my personal favorite: The Scorpion and the Frog. It is a short yet meaty story about a scorpion agreeing not to sting a frog who agrees to take him across the river to safety. Inevitably the journey is ill-fated; they both wind up sinking, because of the scorpion’s nature to attack, even though it leads to his demise. It is not a happy story, but the lesson it teaches resonates with me. I want to avoid being at the mercy of the scorpions around me and to know them when I see them. It is similar to Sun Tzu's “know your enemy" with animal references.

This is hard to do when there are scorpions in our family and friend circles. I have dealt with one in particular since childhood, but my becoming aware of this individual’s destructive nature has helped me gain the proper perspective. I learned how to avoid poisonous behavior to maintain my own peace of mind. It is strange to compare a person to a scorpion, but I just see it as a point of reference in my own psyche. I know I never want to be a frog, when it comes to another person’s nature to attack others and self-destruct in the process.

When it is unavoidable dealing with a scorpion, whether it is a boss, a difficult family member, or friend of a friend, I find that the best ways to handle the situation depend on the nature of the relationship. If contact is limited, maintaining an emotional and physical distance and avoiding any financial, legal, or other kind of arrangement are key strategies. It is more difficult if the scorpion is predominant in our everyday lives. Regardless of the relationships, it is important to protect ourselves and understand the nature of cruelty, so it does not destroy us.

How do you deal with your scorpions?

When's a Decision Decided?

Why is it that just when you think you've decided something, you realize that you actually haven't? Somebody brings up a point you hadn't considered or money you saved for one thing suddenly needs to be used for something else entirely or you wake up one morning wondering why you're not fully satisfied with your decision. This has been happening to me a lot in the last several months and it's starting to make me wonder if I even know how to make decisions anymore.

One example of this is my potential move to Paris. I knew I wanted to go, I'd come up with a plan to make it happen and had more or less decided that grad school in Paris was my plan for 2013. Except that all the money I'd started to save for it had to go to sudden emergency expenses, like my taxes. And then the chances of getting a long stay visa seemed much less impossible than they had been before. And then I started to meet people with connections in Paris so that being a student was no longer the only way to make friends.

So now what? Now I'm back to square two: I have no idea what I'm doing when, but at least I have more options than I did back at square one a year ago. Still, my decision is now undecided, making me feel a bit lost.

When is a decision final for you? How do you know when to stop wondering about other options and sticking with what you decided?

The Art of Observation

I've been observing and enjoying a lot of public art lately. It might be because I'm traveling and so my eyes are open to noticing the world around me in different ways than usual. But even when I was last home, I found myself increasingly viewing the world in terms of visual art. I've been trying to take more pictures, and I always have my camera (or cell phone camera, at least) on hand and it makes all the difference when I am consciously aware of each new corner of the world as a potential photographic subject.

In every city I visit, I'm finding there is a notable presence of public art: dynamic sculptures, wall murals (some commissioned, some graffiti) activist-inspired installations, and much much more.

These discoveries have led me to think a lot about the presence and role of art in the world in general, and in public spaces in particular. I think about how essential it is, how delightfully overwhelming it can be to be startled, moved, inspired, made to giggle or to react in some visceral way to a piece of art encountered unexpectedly.

There's great power in art, which of course I knew already, being an artist myself, but the sort of art I pursue is more deliberate somehow. Readers don't tend to "accidentally" read a novel, not in the way you can so easily stumble into a piece of visual art, or overhear a song. I suppose you could compare the act of turning a corner and meeting a delicious sculpture to the act of browsing a bookstore and discovering a gem of a read you might never have gone in search of but just finds its way into your hand at the opportune moment.

At any rate, these recent glimpses of art continue to surprise and delight me. I continue to take their pictures and fold them into the photographic record of the life I am currently living. Which, I suppose is another layer of art unto itself.

Do you tend to notice art in the world around you?

Friday Forum: New New Year's Resolution?

If it hasn't happened already, this might be the time when a lot of people are wondering if they should change their New Year's resolution to something more manageable or more important to them. What was your resolution and how are you doing with it? Will you be changing it to something new?

Check In With Yourself & Us

We're now a third of the way through the year, so it's a good time to think about some of the goals you set up for yourself and how you're doing. Even better than that might be writing about it! It'll help give you some perspective and you can get support from others. So think about it and submit a guest post when you're done!

Return to Manhattan

Something I thought would never happen again is happening; I am moving back to New York City. I lived in northern Manhattan for a year in the early 2000s, and moved back to my home state of New Jersey afterwards, thinking I would never live there again. I thought this way for a variety of reasons, but the cost of living tops the list. As rents continue to skyrocket, I will never rationalize paying so much for such small living spaces. Now, I find myself getting ready to return to Manhattan without having to pay an exorbitant amount, and I am looking forward to it.

I have always liked New York City for all the obvious and not so obvious reasons. Manhattan in particular has always been great for me because I love walking, and when the weather is pleasant and I have time, I will explore neighborhoods on foot. It really is the best way to take in the sights; I even block out the auto traffic when I am not crossing the street, except when there is a major commotion. But even a few car horn blasts leave me indifferent, especially when I find myself walking on a particularly interesting street. I like having access to a car in New Jersey, but I will not need one in Manhattan, so I am looking forward to that.

I do not see myself living in Manhattan for a long time. I see it is a transition more than a permanent move, especially since I will not have a lease to abide by. I have been saying for a few years that I am looking to move out of the NYC metropolitan area, so I never thought I would be returning to Manhattan before leaving. I see it as a way to say farewell before venturing to places yet unknown. I am looking forward to my return stint as an older and wiser person, and this time I will make the most of it.