Visioning Workshop This Saturday

It's that time again -- time for another Visioning Workshop. If you've been feeling lost lately and looking for some direction, or just want to spend some time getting to know yourself better, the Visioning Workshop this Saturday is a great chance to do so. You can read about what some of us have gotten out of them in the past, and then be sure to RSVP to this next one. Hope to see some of you there!

VISIONING WORKSHOP: Using Your Creativity and Intuition to Gain Clarity, Find Focus and Manifest Your Dreams!
Saturday, September 19, 2009 11am - 5pm

Feeling a little confused with all that's going on with your career and the economy? Not sure what to do next with your life? Maybe your just a bit unsatisfied overall but can't exactly pinpoint what it is...

Our Visioning Workshop can help you sort it all out!

Come to our popular and powerful semi-annual workshop for a creative, transformative afternoon where you will make a collage to manifest your heart's desire - and you may be surprised as to what that turns out to be. It's not unusual for participants to start new businesses, relationships, families or career paths as quickly as weeks or months after the workshop.

If you are looking for both answers and results to help figure out where you are right now in your life and where you want to go next, this could be thing exact thing you need to push you forward and take you there.

COST:
TWM Members: $65 advance, $75 at the door
Non-members: $110 advance, $125 at the door
***TWM Members can bring a friend at the Member Rate.***
NOTE: RSVP is required to christianna@thewomensmosaic.org

Click here for more info.

My Two Cents on Health Insurance

Like most people out there, I have read and seen all the articles, speeches, and TV news reports about the health insurance crisis in the United States. I watched Michael Moore’s Sicko as objectively as I could, comparing the pros and cons of insurance programs in other countries with the system in my own homeland. I can honestly say that I really don’t know what the right answer is for Americans like me who are in between jobs, freelancing, and working for companies that don’t provide health insurance to their employees. If you are lucky enough to have a 100% stable position with comprehensive benefits that cover hospital costs, doctors’ visits, ambulance rides, x-rays, and all the other aspects of health care coverage that we often forget about.

I just acquired an individual health care plan after exhaustive research, discussions with people I trust, and compromise. Why compromise? I realized that I had to make a choice and spend more per month than I planned to, but I don’t regret my choice, and thankfully, I can afford it. I know there are many that can’t, so I count myself fortunate. Now that I am insured, I feel relieved; at least I have some financial protection for any health-related issues that may come up in the future. I even purchased a dental plan, because it is something I have taken for granted in the past.

We all have different ideas about which direction the U.S. should go when it comes to health insurance reform. Should we have a government option? Should we keep things the way they are? Can the prices of private health insurance plans be regulated so those who aren’t fortunate enough to be insured through an employer don’t have to think twice before getting medical treatment? I don’t know what the answers are, but what I do believe is that health insurance companies shouldn’t play God with our lives.

How are you affected by health care and insurance?

One Year Later...

One year ago today, TWM hosted a launch party for a new program that would provide a vehicle for women to share their experiences related to diversity and personal growth. That program was this blog, CHICKS ROCK! Since then Kekla, Pauline, and I have written every week about what's going on in our lives and our reflections on the world around us.

In the past year, I've gotten to know my co-bloggers better. We all seem to share a clutter-bug gene and between the three of us, we may very well be able to open up a library from all the books we own. Reading about their travel experiences, as well as the experiences our guest bloggers have shared, inspired me to go on my upcoming trip abroad. And though all three of us are women of color, our individual cultural experiences are varied, so there is much to learn.

Writing here has also been a great way to learn more about myself. It's given me a chance to look back and try to figure out how much I've learned from the past. I've also realized how many possibilities are ahead of me. At any given point in time, there are many paths we can all take, and navigating that on a public platform such as this makes me feel less alone and more supported by others.

I think it's important to remember that this is what TWM's work is all about: promoting personal growth and giving women a chance to educate and inspire each other. We really do feel empowered when we can speak our minds and share our experiences with one another. And from that, we can start to get through some of the walls we put up around ourselves and move forward together.

As we look to the next year, we want to have more voices represented in the comments and especially from guest bloggers. We want to keep using this space to learn and grow, but we certainly can't do that without all of you.

So start now! What have you gotten out of the blog? What have you learned about yourself or others?

A Bibliophile's Nightmare

It has come to my attention that I have too many books. On a practical level I understand that this is a problem--my apartment is literally (ha) overrun with books. Not good. But on a spiritual level I can't understand what it means to have too many books, let alone imagine parting with them. It's a pretty serious problem, and one that I need to solve soon!

Top five reasons why I should keep the books:
1. I love them. I love being surrounded by them, the way they look and feel and smell, whether read or unread.
2. It's part of my job as a writer to read a lot.
3. I have lots of books I haven't read; I want to read them.
4. I do re-read my books. Frequently.
5. The books I've chosen to bring home, and those I've read, are pieces of my bibliography, my autobiography, in a way that has meaning for me. Walk into my home and browse my shelves and you will know immediately what I value and what interests me, and how do I begin to tear that apart?

Top five reasons why I should part with many of them:
1. I don't have enough space. Period.
2. Books should be shared! Others could be enjoying them.
3. If I've had a book for five years and not read it yet, am I really ever going to?
4. If I read one but didn't like it, what is it still doing as part of my library?
5. If a stack of them falls on me, I could suffocate and die. This has happened to people.

I know it should be an easy thing to do. They're just books after all. (Full disclosure: I shuddered while I typed that last sentence.) I've been working really hard to clear clutter from my living space and from my life, but what I've realized in the process is that I'm willing and eager to get rid of all kinds of other possessions to make room for books.

What's a girl to do?

Friday Forum: Our Memories

As all of you know, today's Friday Forum falls on the anniversary of 9/11, so we want to take a moment to honor the lives lost not only on that day, but every day, by asking how do you remember the loved ones who have died?

Whether it's a friend, relative, acquaintance, or neighbor -- what are the ways you keep them in your memories?

Link Love for 9/10

Time for our next link love roundup! Remember to leave a link in the comments with what you've read or written lately so folks can check it out -- doesn't need to be a blog post, any article will do.

In Good Company takes a look at funding models that are not just about the company or the product, but the people.

Girl w/Pen reports that stereotype threat is still a factor in math and science for women and girls.

NYWSE Chapter Blog wants us all to think twice about multi-tasking because it might be doing more harm than good.

Lindsey Pollak has a great piece highlighting Gen Y's strengths rather than their assumed weaknesses.

One Writeous Chick watched Julie & Julia and shared the lessons she learned from it -- it's enough to make us want to watch the movie.

Bigotry Today

Blatant prejudice is something I have limited experience with. The worst situation I ever found myself in was in a London pub as a college student. I knew from the moment I walked through the doors of the establishment that something was not right; it wasn’t the typical friendly neighborhood pub I was used to. Surrounded by angry white men, my hair was grabbed and someone hissed in my ear, “go back to the temple, you sand n---er!” I was paralyzed with shock when my friends pulled me away from my nemesis’ grasp and we ran out of the pub unscathed. They were all appalled at what happened, and I was bewildered but calm. I assured everyone that I was fine and explained how contradictory my perpetrator was. After all, “go back to the temple” attacks Hindus, and “sand n---er” refers to someone of Middle Eastern descent, but I am neither Hindu nor Middle Eastern. He saw my brown skin and Indian features and unleashed his hate, with the help of alcohol. I will never forget how blatant he was with his emotions.

Lately, I find that bigots today are much more subtle when expressing their hatred of people they don’t like the look or sound of. One of the bus drivers on my regular bus expresses her racial dislike by not responding to me or anyone who looks like me when they say “thank you” or “good night.” I was on the bus with my mother and brother recently when we noticed how she responded to a Caucasian passenger when he exited the bus, but not to us. My mother was incensed, but I brushed it off. As long as she doesn’t say or do anything derogatory that I witness, I won’t report her. When I think about it, the bigoted bus driver is being careful when expressing her racist feelings.

Racism is expressed in various ways by people of all races, religions, and cultures. What are thoughts on bigotry today?

My Writing Muscles

Last month, I wrote about my experience this summer with the blogathon where I posted every 30 minutes for 24 hours to support my charity of choice. Looking back, this was a really great exercise and it got me thinking about writing in a new way. In the past, I considered it something small that I do sometimes for fun, but the truth is, I much prefer writing to almost any other activity I do.

So I'm considering ways I can improve my writing. The first idea is to read more. It's pretty much a given that being an avid reader will help my writing. Classic fiction, memoirs, contemporary novels, short stories, graphic novels... Over the last couple of months, and in the months to come, I will be reading works in different genres, including ones I've ignored in the past. I'll admit that I'm not only doing this to improve my writing but simply because I love reading and have hundreds of books on my "to read" list, but it will surely help my writing as well.

I've also been trying to write more. I try to write a bit each day, though I'm having trouble balancing my hectic schedule with my desired writing schedule. My first approach was setting a specific time to write, but that quickly failed. I can't wake up early enough, I work during the day, and the evening is usually my time to catch up on other responsibilities. A writer friend of mine recommended a word target rather than a scheduled time. She writes at least 250 words a day, and worries less about how she breaks that up. Given how unpredictable my schedule is, this might be a better approach for myself, though it will certainly require more discipline to make sure I actually do it.

With all of the great writers who read (and write for *cough* Kekla *cough*) the blog, I'm sure somebody must have some other advice to help me work out my writing muscles. What have you got for me?

Labor Day Memories

Happy Labor Day, all. This is a holiday that comes loaded with memories for me.

Every Labor Day weekend of my childhood, from elementary school through college, my parents took us to a Labor Day family camp sponsored by our church. Above and beyond the fact that I love all things camping, these weekends were really special to me. Though the group was never identical from year to year, there was a core contingent of families who attended faithfully. I grew up with these kids and their parents, and though I see them only rarely now, sometimes I still think of them almost like cousins, and they exist in a unique place in my mind. The space created among us was one you could walk into year after year and always find it the same, despite the changes in our normal lives.

Watching the movie Dan in Real Life the other day, I was reminded of the kinds of experiences I had at Family Camp, and I find myself craving another three day weekend of games and conversation, the kind of quality time that comes only when we separate ourselves from the daily grind, far away from television, internet access and cell phone reception.

Sally's recent post about online friends is what first got me onto this train of thought, actually. I love the way the internet brings people together who might never otherwise meet, and how it connects, engages and inspires people in myriad ways. But for me, those relationships inevitably leave me wanting.

The simplicity of singing together around a campfire is something I've never been able to replicate online. I crave the presence of people around me, sitting together with no agenda other than to simply be with one another. It utterly refreshes me and emboldens me to face the storm of technology that is my daily life.

So, here's to Labor Day weekend, may it be a time of rest, reflection and connection. A break from the fray and a chance to reach out and meet each other face to face. It makes all the difference.

Friday Forum: Back to School

Here in the U.S., many people are in some way or another getting ready for school to start up again. Students, parents, teachers, professors, administration, etc. are seeing the end of their summer days and the start of a new year.

We always remember things we dread about going back to school, but what are some things you miss about school? What do you like going back to and, if you're not in school, what do you miss most?

Be Here Now

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes our latest guest blogger, Rita.

Rita Chhabra is a CFA charterholder and has over 12 years experience in the Financial services industry. She loves to cook and has a new found love of travel.


In my 33rd year of life, I traveled alone for the first time. This was a difficult decision to make, as I am not the type who even goes to the movies or restaurants alone. But I found myself with plenty of time on my hands, an urge to travel, and a bunch of broke friends! I decided to look into travel groups -- I might be flying alone, but I didn’t want to be alone once I arrived at my destination (baby steps!).

My destination was Tuscany. I arrived on the 4th of July, Independence Day in my home country -- quite poetic given my solo journey, huh? I spent my first week at a cooking school whipping up wonderful Tuscan meals. I planned my second week at a yoga retreat, which allowed me to do four hours of yoga each day.

For the first four days of the retreat, we participated in an exercise called “be here now.” We were not allowed to talk about anything in our lives that happened prior to our arrival in Italy. If we heard someone starting to tell a story about her “past,” we yelled “be here now!” This was a difficult exercise because we are so programmed to tell people about ourselves when we meet them, particularly what we do for a living. We end up defining ourselves by our occupation alone, and more often than not, we are judged by it.

It took some getting used to, but it was enlightening to talk to people and learn who they are right now: who are you right now, what do you enjoy doing right now? On the fifth day we were able to talk about our ‘other’ lives outside of Tuscany… but by then, we didn’t really care about those things!

This trip did wonders for me, in terms of getting over my fear of traveling alone. In the process, I also made new friends and found a new way of living in the present.

I don’t know why I didn’t look into travel groups before, but now I’m already searching for my next destination!

Shades of the Toxic Personality

If we are honest with ourselves, we can easily recognize the toxic people in our lives. They possess the compulsive need to control everyone and everything around them. A toxic individual can be someone who is so obviously negative and domineering, or the person can show his or her true colors over time. Some of us can even recognize the toxicity we unleash to those around us, but this revelation requires real honesty. In short, toxic behavior is something we all deal with, and it is important for those who find themselves on the receiving end of it to not remain victims any longer.

I thought I wasn't a target for toxic people anymore. As a child and teenager, I was too forgiving of those who took advantage of my pleasant nature. But the toxicity I faced did not just come from those who tried to control me or make me feel bad about myself; those who hated themselves were also dangerous. A friend in high school would tell me about her drug and alcohol use and the people who exploited her for their purposes. When we were 18, I found the courage to tell her to save herself, because no one else could. Her response was her mantra: it was too late. I never saw or spoke to her again.

As an adult, I have faced more subtle and even more powerful toxic personalities. Recently, my sister called me out on my tendency to apologize for things that are out of my control, just to appease an annoyed acquaintance. She made me realize that I didn’t recognize this person’s personality, so I now know how to handle myself in the future.

Do you have any friends like this? Think about letting them go or limiting contact with them. If you have a toxic spouse, family member, co-worker, or employer, strengthen yourself so you can repair and preserve your dignity. It is easy to dispense this advice, but take it from someone who knows: the only one who can make you feel good about yourself is you.

Under Pressure

I announced a while back that I'm traveling to Europe this fall, and the month is finally here! The countdown for my trip has gone from months to weeks, and I'm starting to feel the pressure. Because this trip is being planned at the same time as my move, and in the midst of the busiest time at my job, my to do list is growing every day.

One thing I've noticed is that people are very eager to share their travel tips if they've been to Europe. Any time I've mentioned to somebody that I'm traveling, they start asking me where I'm going, what my plans are, where I'm staying, and so forth. They tell me about their trips to Europe, their favorite touristy spots, their favorite local spots, what and where to eat, how much to pack, the list goes on and on. Before you know it, I have enough travel advice to start a travel blog. (But I won't, because then my to do list would surely never lessen...)

So the time has come to stop procrastinating and start prioritizing. I need to figure out my packing list, buy everything I need, firm up my budget, solidify my itinerary, and make sure my travel companions have some idea of what they're doing in Europe.

Even with all this anxiety, I keep picturing in my head how much fun the trip will be. Even when it rains, even when all of us start fighting, even if something goes awry, I know that the trip will be rewarding and that I'll have a great time.

Now all I have to do is actually lay out what I need to make that happen...

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

I was recently gifted with a large (and I mean LARGE) bag of fortune cookies. At first I laughed, thinking, "What am I going to do with sack of a hundred fortune cookies?" But these little snackaroos have become quite popular around my apartment these days. With me, that is.

Get your mind set... confidence will lead you on.

Maybe it's the tiny smiley face that precedes and follows each morsel. Maybe it's the fact that I stand a decent chance of being able to put a sentence together in Chinese after reading the back of each slip. Maybe it's that I'm finding real meaning in these tiny proverbs. Or maybe there's an X factor that just keeps me wanting to nibble and read. (MSG, anyone?)

Be tactful; overlook not your own opportunity.

I've found myself looking forward to the little pick-me-up that comes from reading one of these tidbits of wisdom and humor, truth and philosophy. I've started trying to take them a little more seriously.

If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted.

These tiny meditations are leading me to look on the bright side (luckily they are nearly all positive messages), and to think deeper about the things I really do want. I feel a bit ridiculous even saying that with a straight face, but it's quite true.

You are the master of every situation.

In the end, I know that fortune cookies are like most things in life--what you get out of them depends on what you put into them. For me, it comes down to this: In a time when I feel I'm constantly struggling to understand what I need to do to keep building the life that I want, any scrap of encouragement is worthy. Especially if it comes with snacks!

Friday Forum: Women in Films

It seems that at the end of every summer, everyone sits around and talks about the best films they watched. Talk of Oscar contenders doesn't usually start until early the winter is growing near, but with the hype around summer blockbusters, it's easy to see why these talks might start so early.

Who are some strong female characters you've seen in films lately? Was it Meryl Streep in Julie & Julia? Zooey Deschanel in (500) Days of Summer? Nia Vardalos in I Hate Valentine's Day? Or perhaps a classic performance you're just getting around to watching now? Let us know your favorite performance and what made it so great.

Sharing Your Story

Before the summer ends and while lots of you still have a bit more free time than usual, we want to remind you that we welcome guest blogger posts.

Did you travel this summer? Are you starting school this fall? Have you switched careers? Have you recently married or divorced? Is there a personal story you've been needing to share?

All of these (and more) are great starting points for a guest post on CHICKS ROCK! Writing your story can be empowering for the writer, and it also gives readers a chance to realize that they're not alone. Our stories can connect us when we need it most -- wouldn't you love to be part of that connection?

So take a look at our guest blogger guidelines and the range of posts our guest bloggers have contributed in the past. Then send us an email with your story. What are you waiting for?

Horses and Family Bonding

Overall, it’s been a pretty low-key summer for me. I have done some contract work in New York City, I have read a great deal, taken French lessons, taken a few day trips, but mostly, I have been home. It is not something I regret, but I wanted to do something I had never really done before the summer ended, at least not significantly. My sister suggested horseback riding, and I jumped at the chance. I have been on a horse before, but I was sitting behind my cousin and someone was leading the horse down the well-trodden path in India several years ago. I have great pictures taken from that experience, but I don’t really consider it horseback riding. It was like a pony ride, only the horse was an adult. It was time for me to immerse myself in the fundamentals of horseback riding on a trail. My cousins, siblings, and I agreed that we would ride before the summer ended.

On a weekday morning, we drove to a place in northwestern New Jersey, which is an hour away from my house. The stables’ owner suggested that morning would be an infinitely better time to go horseback riding, and he was right: it was almost 100°F that day, and our ride was completed before noon. We all had different experiences with our horses; I felt that my horse was annoyed with me because of the way her head would fling up when I was handling the reigns throughout the ride. Still, I enjoyed the trail ride through the forest, and the laughs we all had when we were confronted with massive horse flies and bees. Maybe it wasn’t so funny at the time, but we laughed anyway, because it made the insect onslaught easier to bear.

While the horseback riding was wonderful, it was the time spent with family that made the experience incredible. I don’t get to see my cousins much, so this was a great opportunity to have fun and re-connect with them at the same time.

What fun experiences have you had this summer?

Feels Like Home

It's now been over a month since I moved to my new place in NYC, so I figure an update is in order. The move itself was stressful and tiring. For some reason, we all thought it'd be fun and cost-effective if our friends helped us move and set up the apartment rather than hire movers. Not recommended. It has provided laughs as we look back, but the lack of sleep, sore muscles, and snapping at each other at the time was not exactly the "fun" we had in mind.

We did settle in eventually. Alright, that's not entirely true. We went through all of our boxes and tried to get rid of anything we didn't need anymore. However, we still have several boxes of clothes to give away and recycle, and a box of things we have no idea what to do with. Our closets are a mess because we've just been shoving things into them. We don't have a couch or any chairs either. But aside from all of that, our apartment is live-able, more or less.

Part of the reason we haven't finished settling in, though, is because we've been too busy enjoying our new neighborhood! In our old neighborhood, everything closed early, we needed a cab to get groceries done, and there wasn't a real park anywhere in sight. Here, I've been going out in the sun to get work done and to read, and my guy has been playing sports in the parks. We've been trying out the local restaurants and delis, eating a different type of cuisine each time. We have green markets and several places to get groceries done. Overall, a huge improvement.

It will take a while longer to really get comfortable in our apartment, but I'm happy so far. It definitely feels like home.

Blurring the Lines

I traveled to Cape Cod recently, and spent some time in the community of Provincetown, way out on the very tip of the Cape. P'town happens to be an area rich with shopping, beaches and a thriving nightlife -- and it also happens to be one of the most extremely rainbow-flagged locations I have ever seen. I can't recall ever experiencing such a warm and open community of people, within which any couple, or family, can find a space of comfort, even among strangers.

The vibe throughout this town is wonderful. People are relaxed and most likely on vacation, wandering through the streets hand in hand. Men and men, women and women, men and women, parents and children, friends -- the full gamut of people in all their quirkiness and beauty. One thing I observed in my wanderings was that it was impossible to tell on the surface who belonged with whom. A far cry from the traditional formula of Mom, Dad, 2.3 kids and a dog. I loved that. It really brought home for me the fact that our country, our world, is changing in important ways that have been a long time coming.

Even living in a place as diverse as NYC, I feel as though there is a compartmentalization of people of different races, sexualities, lifestyles. These divides run deep, and are hard to bridge at times. We coexist, but are still working to live in true harmony with one another. In P'town, I witnessed something fundamentally different. A blending of diverse spheres of existence into one thriving center of culture and sharing.

On the streets there, you simply could not look at the faces of people passing and make assumptions. That experience showed me how many assumptions I make about people I know, and about the strangers I pass in my everyday life -- assumptions that maybe I should learn to think past. I consider myself to be an open-minded person, but maybe I need to work hard to be more so.

Perhaps we all need to be challenged in these ways more often. The lines that define "a family" have blurred in lovely ways. I, for one, hope they keep on blurring.

Friday Forum: Routine Check

We've been talking a bit on the blog about getting organized -- whether it's organizing a schedule, getting ready for a big move, setting goals and priorities, etc. It's always good to learn what others do to get organized so we can learn from each other's best practices.

What are some routines you have that keep you organized? Do you have a planner or daily agenda? Do you have a routine you follow when getting ready for something big, like a vacation, moving, and so forth?