Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Couplings

In the years that my guy and I have been together, we've started to notice an annoying trend: being treated as one unit. I suppose this is one of those things that a lot of people like -- being a "we" instead of a "me" and that whole "you complete me" thing. But I'm not that way. At all. And, thankfully, my guy isn't that way either.

So for us, it's irritating when people assume we do everything together or need approval from each other or don't have an identity separate from one another.

This is particularly the case for people who have known us primarily since we've been together. People probably met us as a couple or got to know us while we were hanging out together rather than separately. I guess that, for them, it's hard to single one person out from the other if most of their interactions are with us together. I find this to be a bit lazy as far as social interactions go, but I suppose I can at least understand it.

What's even more annoying is when it comes from people who should know better. These are the people who knew us before we were in a relationship. They were able to interact with us as individuals long before there was somebody else to get to know. Yet they expect us to agree on everything and express shock and dismay when we make plans independently of one another.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that we never do anything together or that we don't confide in each other. But we don't seem to meet people's expectations about being in a long-term relationship.

I'm not sure where this stems from in our society. Is the expectation really that two individuals will suddenly meld to become one person if they are in a relationship? Am I missing something?

1 comment:

Liggy said...

I can see how that can be annoying. My husband and I do agree on a lot of things, but there are things we don't agree on as well...and I wouldn't really want people to think I agree with him on some of those things either.







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