Doing What We Love

Why do we stop ourselves from doing the things we love? I’ve been struggling lately (and by “lately,” I mean at least a year) with this question.

I have a friend who wants to be an actor and moved to New York partly to pursue that. When I ask him about it, he’s never much closer to taking his acting seriously than he was the time I asked before that. Another aspiring actor studied theatre in college and hasn’t gone on any auditions or even gotten headshots. I also have a friend who used to dance and was quite talented but had to stop years ago. Even though she now has some time and resources to start dancing again, it’s too emotional for her to even try.

All my life, I’ve loved to sing. When I stopped singing regularly with a chorus (or “for real,” as I like to call it), I lost confidence in my ability and eventually it became harder and harder to think about doing it again. Similarly, for the past few months, I’ve found it harder to sit down and write something substantial – one of the things I love doing most. I write here once a week, but it’s nothing like what I used to write when I used to write “for real.”

So I have to ask why it is that we stop ourselves from doing the things we love. I wonder if we don’t think we’re good enough, but it doesn’t seem that simple. I think maybe we don’t think we’re worthy of doing something we truly enjoy – something that has the potential to make us truly happy. Whatever it is, I’m trying to get us all out of our funk. However big or small our steps are, I’m hoping my friends and I can all get back on track… I imagine we’d all be at least a bit more fulfilled.

Long Distance, Birthday-Style

My mother just celebrated her 60th birthday, and when it came time to give her a gift, I found myself at a bit of a loss. What do you get for the gal who has everything? (By which, of course, I mean, the woman who has me for a daughter?) I actually had this thought in my head (in jest, of course), and after I got over that particularly egotistical moment, I realized that there was actually a bit of merit to my initial reaction. Here's how:

My mom lives halfway across the country from me, and one of the things that makes her happy is when she gets to see me (of course) and short of that, when she gets to talk to me on the phone. But, there are only so many things you can talk about on the phone without repeating yourself, so I had a new creative idea of how we could share an activity together long-distance. We are both nerdy, bookish, puzzler-types and we both enjoy word and logic puzzles like crosswords, Sudoku and picture logic.

My idea was that if we both had the same puzzle book, and started the same puzzle at the same time, we could call one another when we got stumped and it would be like we were sitting at the same table working on a giant jigsaw like we often do over the holidays. I thought it would be a nice piece of me to share with her.

She was very excited to receive the gift (because while she doesn't truly have everything, she doesn't need more stuff, either. Who does?) and she appreciated the gift of my time as much as the gift of the puzzle book (which, let's not lie, saved me some moolah). Even though we haven't started our shared puzzles yet, I am also really looking forward to calling her tonight to see how it goes!

I'm sure once we get on the phone we will revert to the old standbys--(Mom: How was your day? Me: How's Dad? Mom: Sold any books lately? Me: How's Dad?)--but the puzzles look like fun, too, and it will be nice to be together for a while, even from a distance.

Friday Forum: Spooked

Halloween is still a month away, though it's hard to tell when it seems to already be everywhere. We think it's still too early to be talking about Halloween itself, but it does make us wonder: what gets you spooked? Is it a scary movie, reading a thriller, going on a ghost tour? Share in the comments!

Link Love for 9/29

It's time for our next link love roundup, as we try to make up for lost time. Here are some great links for you to read through and comment on.

NYWSE takes a different approach on giving advice by listing the 5 great reasons NOT to grow your business.

Lindsey Pollak also has a list for us, except this one's on how to have more fun at work.

Downtown Dharma wants us to take a different kind of message home with us: imagine peace.

Girl w/Pen has us shift gears a bit with an in-depth post on young feminists and the budget.

One Writeous Chick shares something that really spoke to us about the fears that come along with writing.

Hope you enjoyed these. Be sure to leave links to what you've been reading and writing online in the comments.

Truth Behind A Resignation

My mother’s former church made the local news this month. The former choir director, who happens to be a gay man, resigned after working there for decades because a new priest made homophobic remarks to him in private. As someone with some firsthand knowledge of the situation, I can read uninformed, bigoted comments posted to the articles about this story and easily shake off my annoyance, because I know they have no idea what they are talking about.

The former choir director also taught at the Catholic high school I attended. I never took any of his classes, but I was told by some of my classmates that he was very tough and unyielding with his students. I also attended church reluctantly every Sunday, where I saw him lead the choir with confidence. He was one of the main attractions to the church, so much so that I believe most people who came to church were looking forward more to the music than to what any of the priests had to say. This is just my assumption, of course; I always felt like an outsider to the Catholic community I was surrounded by, and found the music performed at the church to be less than inspiring. There was skill and talent behind it, but I was never moved.

What angers me about my former church is how disrespectful they became. The former choir director was a fixture at the church, and the Franciscan priests appeared to be as respectful of him as he was to them. Since the church’s transfer out of the Franciscan order into another Archdiocese this summer, things changed considerably. The new priest’s openly homophobic, aggressive demeanor put off more than just the former choir director; my mother transferred to another church because of it. Attendance is already dwindling, so this could mean the end of the church. If that is how it has to be, then so be it. I believe that if this church continues on this path, the constant alienation will lead to its downfall.

Filling the Space

This past weekend, TWM's Visioning Workshop brought together 20 women all looking for some clarity and direction. Some were Visioning virgins while others were Visioning veterans and some fell in between, but no matter what we expected that day, we all got a few surprises.

Even though this was only technically my second Visioning Workshop, I’ve made a few collages over the past few years. Whenever I felt I needed to get in touch with my inner voice and desires, I carved out several hours in the day and tried to recreate the experience I had that first time. Each collage helped guide me a bit during a time I needed it and while they were all different, there were some things I came to expect from them: big images, pictures of strong or active people (usually women), and bold colors. But my collage on Saturday surprised me because it was a departure in quite a few ways.

For starters, there is a lot of white, empty space – more than in any collage I’ve done before. In the past, collages with white space were balanced with the large images and bold colors, but while this one might seem colorful to some, there is a lot more black and white than others as well.

The space concerned me because I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Is it a sign of de-cluttering like one person suggested, or about needing and having space in my own life as somebody else did? Or is it something more troubling like feeling unfulfilled? I’m still not sure what to think, but I’m feeling much less pessimistic about it now. Maybe my friend is right and it’s about narrowing down the things in my life I want to spend my energy on.

I’m going to ponder it some more, but I’m happy to be filling the space with things I love in the meantime.

Sailing Into the Zone

I don't know what's up with me all of a sudden, but I am feeling oh-so-efficient and productive these days. It's almost freaky. I wake up in the morning, roll toward my laptop (this constitutes my commute to the office) and start plugging away with a smile on my face. About eight hours later, I find myself wondering, "Where did the day go, and why haven't I eaten?"

Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. I usually have toast and tea about two hours in when my tummy starts rumbling. But THAT'S IT. Which is totally weird because usually you can't keep me out of the kitchen. Snack on this, snack on that, freshen my glass of whatever I happen to be sipping to wash it all down....

But the point is not my lack of sustenance (which is awkward) or the fact that I am actually losing weight (which I am), but the reality that I'm suddenly capable of an elevated level of focus that's really working out for me. I'm accomplishing things! New endeavors, yes, but also things that I've put off for a while and needed to pick back up.

For the last few months, I've just been slogging through task after task, working toward deadlines and taking care of the minutiae, but it all seemed piecewise and disconnected. Suddenly, the big picture, the future, a sense of what is ahead has crystalized in front of me. I feel a sense of direction that I've been looking for for a while now. I haven't felt lost, exactly. For a long time I've known more or less where I'm headed. Perhaps it's akin to steering a ship into the darkness toward a distant shoreline. Eventually the sun comes up one day and you can see mountains on the horizon. You still have a ways to sail, but, hurrah!

I don't know what has changed, or where this new mindset is coming from but I have the feeling that everything that has been up in the air for so long is finally starting to come together. I hope I can stay In The Zone a while longer!

Friday Forum: Past Visions

Tomorrow is TWM's Visioning Workshop, and as some of us are getting ready to see what our collages will show us, we were looking back at some of our collages workshops past.

Have you ever made a Visioning board or collage? What did the last one show you?

Explore Your Vision

There's still time and space left for you to RSVP to TWM's upcoming Visioning Workshop this weekend. Check out the details below and RSVP today!

VISIONING WORKSHOP: Using Your Creativity and Intuition to Gain Clarity, Find Focus and Manifest Your Dreams Saturday, September 24th, 11:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. 
Feeling a little confused with all that's going on with your career and the economy? Not sure what to do next with your life? Maybe your just a bit unsatisfied overall but can't exactly pinpoint what it is... 
Our Visioning Workshop can help you sort it all out! 
Come to our popular and powerful semi-annual workshop for a creative, transformative afternoon where you will make a collage to manifest your heart's desire - and you may be surprised as to what that turns out to be. 
It's not unusual for participants to start new businesses, relationships, families or career paths as quickly as weeks or months after the workshop. If you are looking for both answers and results to help figure out where you are right now in your life and where you want to go next, this could be thing exact thing you need to push you forward and take you there.  

COST: $85 for TWM Members*; $135 for Non-Members *TWM Members can bring a friend at the member rate! LOCATION: TRS Professional Suites, 44 East 32nd St, 11th Floor 
RSVP on Facebook or by emailing sally@thewomensmosaic.org 

CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS

A Real Role Model

A close family friend of my Mom’s passed away a few days ago, and I am still trying to come to terms with it. I met him last year when visiting India with my Mom. She met him and his future wife in nursing school in the 1960s, and became close friends. I learned from Arvind Uncle that his biological father gave him up to an orphanage run by Christian missionaries as a baby, just after his mother passed away. He said with no judgment or bitterness that he was glad that he stayed at the well run orphanage, even after his biological father attempted to get him back years later, because his childhood there helped make him who he was. He valued life, and never took it for granted.

I visited the orphanage and church where he married his wife, one my Mom’s best friends. I also toured the leprosy hospital that they worked in after finishing nursing school, which is also located on the same grounds. Arvind Uncle told me he could have worked overseas and made a great deal of money, but he felt called to work with leprosy patients, and never regretted his decision. I really admire him and his wife for their dedication to their work and their patients.

He also considered himself my Mom’s brother, and would tell people who asked about his family outside of his wife and children that he had a sister in the United States. Mom lost touch with her friends for years, so when they miraculously got back in touch with each other, their friendships were as strong as ever. I will never forget arriving at the airport to visit them, and being greeted by Arvind Uncle and most of his family with bouquets of flowers. I have never had such a warm reception before! In the few days that followed, I felt like I was a part of his family; my time with them was one of the best experiences I had in India. Returning to the country will never be the same.

Sick Days & Homework

Sally's feeling a bit too sick to write for you today, but you should take this as a chance to do some "homework." Look back at our archive of posts, pick three categories you are interested in and skim through the content. Let us know how you like it!

A Grand Experience

I recently traveled to the Grand Canyon, in Arizona. As a total coincidence, shortly before the trip I happened to read a commentary which mentioned that the Grand Canyon is one of the few famous sights that when you actually lay eyes on it, doesn’t disappoint. I found myself dwelling on this comment a great deal during my westward journey, and feeling hopeful, because I’d gotten myself very excited about the trip and I didn’t want to be let down.

The line of commentary struck me, because it made me realize that I’d been slightly worried about this in the weeks before the trip–worried about being disappointed by the canyon, based on my larger than life expectations. It wasn’t a conscious concern, but one of those back-of-the-mind naggings that you just can’t quite get a handle on until it eventually comes to light or fades quietly away.

I realized that, in the past, I’ve felt that way about certain tourist attractions—that the anticipation is sometimes greater than the actual experience, and in the end high expectations can diminish the overall result. When you get yourself so ramped up to see something, and people are all telling you how great it is, sometimes the imagination runs away with itself. Particularly as someone with a very active creative mind, the inescapable fantasies can sometimes overwhelm reality. (This happens to me all the time with books, movies, plays—the greater the hype, the more likely to be a slight let down.)

Fortunately, I was pleasantly surprised by the Canyon. It did not disappoint. The views were breathtaking, the weather was amazing, and the overall experience was really special. All I ended up being disappointed about is that my camera wasn’t able to fully capture the grandeur of the canyon in two dimensions. Oh, well. I’ll just have to settle for a mess of great memories!

Friday Forum: Summer's End

Now that we're a couple of weeks past Labor Day weekend, that can only mean one thing: the end of summer!

How would you rate your summer? Share some of your highlights in the comments.

Link Love for 9/15

It's been too, too long since the last time we had a link love roundup, so we're bringing it back today and splitting it up between two weeks. Check out the links below and leave links in the comments to what you've been reading and writing online.

Awaken Your CAREERpreneur contemplates how to deal with the moments in which we don't feel any progress.

Savvy Ladies has a really interesting look at what hair (yes, hair!) means for your career.

Global Sister reminds us that we need more women in technology fields, and gives great examples of rocking women already in them.

In Good Company wants us to think about authenticity and how to stay true to it in the age of social media.

Tune in for more stories in a couple of weeks!

Snail Mail Sorrows

I use email every day for work mostly, and sometimes to keep in touch with friends and family. But nothing beats a handwritten letter or card in my mail box from someone I know; it beats the usual junk mail from a certain cable company that won’t take no for an answer, or the coupons I will never use because I don’t shop at those particular stores. Now that the U.S. Post Office is in danger of default, I wonder like many others how they will change, and what those changes will be when they do. I cannot imagine a snail mail-free world, where all communications will be conducted online. That will not be a good day, if it is inevitable.

In addition to receiving handwritten cards and letters from people I know in the mail, I enjoy reciprocating the gesture whenever I have the time to do it. I love buying stationery and cards to keep with me so I can have them ready when needed. I have lost mail once or twice using the U.S. Postal Service, and the idea of no Saturday mail is unnerving. Why can’t the agency adjust to remain viable in an Internet-friendly world? Better customer service alone would help revive mail service greatly, and make them competitive in a good way. I just cannot imagine an America without her many post offices, period. It feels wrong, in every way.

So while there is still Saturday service, and there are post office employees willing to answer questions in a more efficient manner, I will continue to send cards and letters to family and friends within the U.S. and overseas. I hope Congress and the Postmaster General make the right decisions before it is too late to preserve the U.S. Postal Service for all of us. I will never give up on snail mail, and hope I will never have to.

Do you enjoy receiving and sending snail mail? Why or why not?

Why We "Never Forget"

This past Friday, I had dinner with two friends I've known since high school as a sort of housewarming for one who recently moved into a studio in Manhattan. 

During the course of the night, we mostly talked about dating, careers, the earthquake and hurricane, and life updates. At one point, we broke out the yearbook and tried to figure out who and what we remembered from all those years ago. Between things we blocked out and our poor memories, there wasn't all that much... But we did all remember 9/11.

It was practically inevitable that this come up given the anniversary was two days away and that security had beefed up that week for the two of us work downtown. We remembered what classes we were each in when it happened, the chaos in the cafeteria later that day during lunch, and so forth. 

We didn't talk about it for very long and we didn't linger on the pages of our yearbook dedicated to it because the truth is we didn't need to. You can never really forget about 9/11, especially if you lived here when it happened and still live here now, or when your morning routine means walking past the construction at Ground Zero. On the anniversary itself, I avoided all the hoopla, not because I don't care or because I don't think it's important to acknowledge the lives lost, but because a lot of us really have not forgotten. We didn't need a day to think back on that event because we do it on our own all the time. So even though a lot of us resist the "never forget" tagline, it really is something we live.

Friday Forum: Remembering

We can't go into this weekend without acknowledging that it's the 10th anniversary of 9/11. It's a strange time for all of us, but it's certainly one of those moments in which we all come together whether in solidarity or simply to feel a bit less alone. Some will be praying in churches, some will be volunteering for the 9/11 Day of Service and Remembrance, some will be spending time with their loved ones, and others will simply be waiting for the day to be over. Whatever way you spend the day, it's impossible to escape it.

How are you spending the anniversary of 9/11?

Find Your Vision

You've been asking about the next Visioning Workshop, and we've got answers for you. Get the details for TWM's next workshop in just a few weeks and reserve your spot today.

VISIONING WORKSHOP: Using Your Creativity and Intuition to Gain Clarity, Find Focus and Manifest Your Dreams
Saturday, September 24th, 11:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.

Feeling a little confused with all that's going on with your career and the economy? Not sure what to do next with your life? Maybe your just a bit unsatisfied overall but can't exactly pinpoint what it is...

Our Visioning Workshop can help you sort it all out!

Come to our popular and powerful semi-annual workshop for a creative, transformative afternoon where you will make a collage to manifest your heart's desire - and you may be surprised as to what that turns out to be.

It's not unusual for participants to start new businesses, relationships, families or career paths as quickly as weeks or months after the workshop. If you are looking for both answers and results to help figure out where you are right now in your life and where you want to go next, this could be thing exact thing you need to push you forward and take you there.

COST: $85 for TWM Members*; $135 for Non-Members
*TWM Members can bring a friend at the member rate!
LOCATION: TRS Professional Suites, 44 East 32nd St, 11th Floor

RSVP on Facebook or by emailing sally@thewomensmosaic.org

CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS

A Decade Later

Like most Americans, especially those who live near Manhattan or Washington D.C., I will never forget September 11, 2001. I was half asleep listening to the radio when I first heard that a plane hit the World Trade Center’s North Tower. At that moment, a friend called me to ask if my father worked in one of the Towers, which he did. I jumped out of bed, and ran to the television, where I saw the North Tower on fire, and then the second plane hit the South Tower.

I found out later that my father was late to work that day, and although he witnessed some of the terrible things most of us have only read and seen footage of on television, he was not in the North Tower, which was the building he worked in. He and many others who had just emerged from the subway witnessed the chaos, and then they all walked uptown, away from World Trade Center. My father could not contact my family by phone until later that afternoon, so we spent the first part of the day praying and wondering where he was. When he did arrive home, he was covered in a layer dust from the collapsed buildings. I never asked him how far away he was from the Towers when they went down, and he has never spoken of the attacks since that day.

After learning about a third plane going into the Pentagon and then another one crashing in Pennsylvania on its way to Washington D.C., I wondered (like most Americans) if we were being invaded by terrorists, by way of hijacked planes. My fears subsided as the air space cleared; then I wanted more knowledge to become empowered. In the days, weeks, months, and years that followed, I educated myself to gain further understanding of the world. It might sound cliché to some, but I am forever reminded of how precious and fragile life is. It has been ten years, but I never take what I learned and experienced from that day for granted. I will always remember.

Seeking a Soccer Mom

As a kid, I led a very sheltered life. My sisters and I couldn't do much of anything that wasn't schoolwork or reading and any fun we did have was in the comfort and protection of our own home. That meant no tv on school nights, no visits to friends' homes (though they could come to ours), and no after school activities. This last one seems particularly strange to people I know who grew up with soccer practice, karate, or some other activity that kept them engaged and entertained. 

But I guess I'm making up for lost time because I've recently set up a schedule for myself that makes me feel like I need a soccer mom to keep me on top of things.

It started when I got French lessons from one of those daily deal sites. I still have hopes to travel to Paris and live there for a while, so French lessons are necessary and they were a good deal. They were nearing expiration and I finally found a class that didn't conflict with my schedule, so starting in a couple of weeks, I'll be spending every Thursday conjugating verbs and working on my accent.

Soon after getting that deal, I saw one for voice lessons. Having been a singer way back in junior high and high school, I have always wished I could have kept up with it, so I just had to sign up. I had my first lesson a few days ago and am ready for the next few. I'm even thinking I might keep going back once a month or so. The most recent addition to my schedule is a creative writing course through Gotham (another daily deal), and although that doesn't begin for a couple of months, I've got it in mind even now. 

The good thing is that these classes don't overlap too much because one set is winding down by the time the next one starts, but it's strange to realize my schedule suddenly resembles that of a very active child. At least I'll be doing things I enjoy rather than something my parents pressured me to do!

Labor Day Learning

Happy Labor Day, America!

Labor Day has always been a holiday I think of fondly. As a kid, it meant going to Labor Day family camp, celebrating a family member's birthday, and most importantly--getting a long weekend off of school when it had only just begun for the year. (I always found this early day off very helpful as a way to re-acclimate to the school-year schedule.)

I guess I've always known that Labor Day is a holiday to celebrate workers, but I really didn't know much about it beyond that, so I visited the Department of Labor website and learned a little bit more about Labor Day's history and evolution as a national holiday.

Here are some highlights, for those of you who don't want to expend energy clicking links or learning on your day off, either:

• Labor Day was first celebrated in 1882 in New York City.
• It became a national holiday in 1894.
• The day used to be celebrated with parades and public events, but this practice declined over time. (Maybe it was just too much work?)
• Celebratory speeches are still broadcast (who knew?) in honor of the day, by elected officials, union leaders and others.

Bottom line: the working people of our country deserve a day off now and again, particularly one designated to honor and respect all of our contributions to the nation's economy and lifestyle.

We work hard, so today it's time to play. Rest, relax, enjoy some time to yourself or with friends and family. Happy Labor Day!

Friday Forum: Bearing the Elements

The last couple of weeks have been quite interesting here in NYC and throughout many parts of the Northeast. We've survived an earthquake and a hurricane-turned-tropical-storm, and all of this only months after the blizzard. There was a lot of panic and preparation, some might say too much.

How do you prepare for a natural disaster? Do you take the warnings seriously or brush them off?

Women, Entrepreneurship, and Pushing Through

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes back Adelaide as a special guest blogger who let us interview her before the launch of the book The Big Enough Company: Creating a business that works for you. Check out her post last week and read her responses for today below:

Adelaide Lancaster is an entrepreneur, speaker and co-founder of In Good Company Workplaces, a first-of-its-kind community, learning center and co-working space for women entrepreneurs in New York City. She lives in Philadelphia, PA with her husband and daughter.


How did your path through entrepreneurship affect your personal growth?
This could be a whole other book! I’ve learned a tremendous amount about myself and grown in ways I couldn’t imagine. My two favorite lessons have been:
1. It’s ok to present the imperfect. In fact there are benefits to it. By sharing a work in progress you’re more likely to get critical feedback and support from others. Also it removes the pressure to “know all the answers.”
2. Success comes from taking small steps. Nothing happens overnight and it’s the day-to-day, hand over fist kind of work that moves you forward. It’s important to have perspective about the big picture but more importantly than that it’s critical that you have a functional and satisfying daily experience.

Why do you think women in particular might be drawn to entrepreneurship?
People are drawn to entrepreneurship for a variety of reasons, but perhaps the most compelling of all is the opportunity to create something that works for you and honors your needs. I think the spike in women entrepreneurship has been due, in part, to the fact that more corporate and traditional employment options didn’t offer the variety and autonomy that women have been looking for. Generally women have felt that they’ve had to make huge personal compromises in order to remain fully engaged at work. Of course everyone has to make compromises but I think that women have been confident in their ability to create businesses that allow them to have a life as well. They exploit and leverage their newfound freedom to create a solution that works for them.

What did the process of writing the book teach you?
That sometimes you just need to push through a challenge. There are many days where the words aren’t flowing and writing feels like an uphill battle. It’s even more important for you to honor your commitment to write on these days. Getting words on paper is the hardest part, editing is much easier.

What is the one takeaway you hope women will get out of the book?
That entrepreneurship is an amazing opportunity to create your work and life on your terms. But it doesn’t come automatically. You have to work hard to craft a business that meets your needs and delivers what you want. So don’t get distracted by “proven systems” or even most of the conventional wisdom. It just isn’t worth compromising your needs and goals in service of someone else’s definition of success.

Humility After The Storm

Because I am often on the road as part of my job, I knew I would experience some of the aftermath of Hurricane Irene in the New York Metro Area, even though I personally suffered no hardship due to it. On the day of the storm at my parents’ house, we had no Internet or cable, but that was nothing compared to people in neighboring towns who still have no power, or had their houses submerged by water from nearby rivers, lakes, and streams. Fallen trees and tree branches have also affected people who live in some neighboring towns throughout the area. I cancelled several appointments earlier this week due to continued flooding on the highways I would have had to take. I’m grateful I can work from home and get paid by the hour, even when I am not on the road, or else I would have felt the post-Hurricane Irene effects financially.

When I hear certain people who suffered few or no minor inconveniences this weekend and afterwards say that the storm “wasn’t a big deal,” or that they do not understand why there was so much attention on this particular weather event, I cringe. Just because I do not have to deal with floods, fallen trees, or power outages, does not mean that the storm does not matter to me. Of course, compared to the complete devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina back in 2005, this recent storm in the East Coast was definitely not as bad. At the same time, the widespread effects of Hurricane (later Tropical Storm) Irene were widespread throughout the East Coast, and should not be dismissed by those who were lucky enough to not suffer from it directly. How will those same people dismissing this storm react if they are not as fortunate the next time around?

I never take an escape from any disaster (natural or otherwise) for granted. I am humbled, grateful, and know that my luck could run out at any time, and without warning.

What are your thoughts on the storm and its aftermath?

New Surroundings

I've now been living in my new apartment and neighborhood for almost two months, and I am finally getting to a place where it feels like home.

Despite the fact that a few of my Queens friends still feel I betrayed them by moving to Brooklyn, they've joined me in getting to know the neighborhood. For example, one friend took the time to organize a Brooklyn bar crawl, insisting that it would be a great way to start that process. She was right, of course, as we walked, ate, and drank our way through Brooklyn neighborhoods. Going to Target First Saturdays at Brooklyn Museum was also a lot of fun. While I had been there before, this was my first trip there since moving here and it was great to have people stop at my apartment first, walk over, and then eat out at a local spot afterward.

I've spent significantly less time in my own apartment. Between having friends inconveniently located an hour or so away and not having air conditioning through one of the hottest summers ever, it often made more sense to stay out rather than to take the trip back home.

Well... at least that was the case before this past weekend when the threatening hurricane gave my roommates and I a chance to spend nearly 48 uninterrupted hours together, give or take a few hours for sleeping. We watched movies, talked about dates and relationships, and generally got to know each other a bit better while also cooking and making cocktails together. I still haven't taken advantage of my awesome backyard, but I'll be sure to do that before it gets chillier.

All in all, I think I'm doing a good job adapting to my new surroundings. How do you go about adjusting to a new place?

Weathering the Storm

The would-be hurricane-turned-tropical-storm that hit the East coast this weekend blew by me without too much notice. Windowpane-rattling gusts, a bit of water leaking around my window frames, and the mild anxiety of what-if-it-all-gets-worse was the worst of it for me. I'm lucky.

Actually I'm extremely lucky that my "natural disaster" experiences in life have largely skewed toward fun as opposed to devastating. Growing up in the Midwest, we faced tornado warnings in the basement for a few nights every summer, which always felt like a fun adventure sleepover to me. I've survived a bunch of snowstorms in various parts of the country, tremored in two different earthquakes, and now I have a hurricane under my belt to top it off. I'm a believer in prepare-for-the-worst-but-hope-for-the-best, and this attitude has worked out very well for me over time. I like having stories to tell about unusual occurrences, but I'm not the type to go out looking for trouble when reason dictates that it's best to stay home.

This weekend I stocked up on water, canned goods, and more food than I can reliably eat in a three-day period, hunkered down with my favorite DVDs and hoped the power wouldn't go out. It didn't. I watched news coverage with my hurricane buddy (a.k.a. my brother, who evacuated to me from a low-lying part of the city) feeling nervous that we'd hear reports that his neighborhood flooded. It didn't.

I feel grateful that the worst of the storm didn't reach us, even while I feel deep sympathy for those who were most affected. I feel grateful that I got to spend some uninterrupted, no-real-choice-about-it time with someone who I don't get to see as often as I'd like. I'm grateful for the roof over my head and all the little comforts of home that I enjoy, even though I often find myself grumbling about what else I need, or how things could be better. All I know is, I successfully weathered Irene, like all the storms before her. I have no idea if my luck with such things will continue, because the future is unknowable, but for now I'm content to feel grateful for what I have: a home, a family, a well-stocked fridge and a world of blessings at my fingertips...because many are without these things today, and if that isn't enough to remind us what's important, maybe we will never really learn.

What are you grateful for, in the wake of your dance with Irene?

Friday Forum: New Dreams

We all grow up with dreams of what we want to be or do when we grow up, but what if we took a step back and came up with new ones?

If you started fresh right now, what would be your new dream?

On Our Own Terms

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Adelaide as a special guest blogger this week and next after letting us interview her before the launch of the book The Big Enough Company: Creating a business that works for you. This week, she writes about what inspired her to be an entrepreneur:

Adelaide Lancaster is an entrepreneur, speaker and co-founder of In Good Company Workplaces, a first-of-its-kind community, learning center and co-working space for women entrepreneurs in New York City. She lives in Philadelphia, PA with her husband and daughter.


When it came time to graduate from my Masters program in Counseling Psychology I couldn’t find the kind of job that I was looking for. I wanted to be a career counselor for women who were deciding what direction to go professionally. Most of the positions available were in schools and there was very little counseling involved. The other larger organizations either required a lot of ancillary HR work or were working with more at-risk populations. So since I couldn’t find the job I wanted, I decided to create it! I started my own career counseling practice and consequently became an entrepreneur. I plunged myself completely into entrepreneurship, building my practice and learning everything I could about small business. My own exposure to entrepreneurship made me more interested in working with entrepreneurial clients. I got hooked and eventually morphed my whole practice into working with entrepreneurs who were starting and building businesses.

Before long we began to notice the negative impact isolation was having on our clients. Because most of them worked from home, they spent their days alone and were more unproductive, uninspired, and disconnected as a result. Plus too many of them battled to maintain a professional image while meeting clients in the local coffee shop. We decided to create a remedy: In Good Company, a community, learning center, and shared workspace designed specifically for women entrepreneurs. Four years later we support more than 300 businesses.

Two years ago we decided to shift our focus to another common entrepreneurial challenge: disenchantment. We had found that often entrepreneurs become more disenchanted as their company grows, very often because they made steep compromises on their own needs and goals. Convinced that entrepreneurial success is really about satisfaction, we decided to write The Big Enough Company: Creating a Business that Works for You. It pools our collective expertise as well as the stories of 100 entrepreneurs who demonstrate various ways to take advantage of the opportunity that entrepreneurship affords. It is our mission to help you work on your terms.

I love being an entrepreneur and love the opportunities it affords me. I have the ability to create work that is meaningful and rewarding on my own terms.

Expect the Unexpected

There are fewer things I can say I will or may never experience at home, where I have spent most of my life so far. When I experienced an earthquake tremor this Tuesday, I was in my Mother’s house in the attic, where I have spent thousands of insignificant moments in, and when the room shook for what seemed to be more than a minute, I began to look at the room and the house differently. It is still my Mother’s house of course, but now it is also a place where the unexpected can happen. It was a minor earthquake, and I am sure those on the West Coast and other parts of the world where earthquakes like the one I experienced the other day would shrug at it and move on. For those who have never experienced something like it and did for the first time, it was unsettling and just a little frightening. It is just another, very small reminder that none of us live in a cocoon, protected from what “other” people have to go through.

This became very clear to me twice in the last ten years. The first time was September 11, 2001, when the world as I and most people in this country knew it changed forever. Before that day, I had only heard of significant terrorist attacks happening in places like Israel, the Palestinian territory, India, and other countries where there were varying levels of political and social unrest. The USA appeared to be safe from it all, until that fateful day almost ten years ago. And then, when Hurricane Katrina hit the Louisiana, Alabama, and parts of Florida in 2005, my fellow Americans and I were horrified by the video footage and news reports of the utter devastation and prolonged suffering that the survivors endured in its aftermath.

These experiences make me realize how vulnerable we all are, no matter where we live, to natural and man-made disasters. It is a humbling experience, and not in a bad way either. It just makes me appreciate my good days even more.

Summer Days, Summer Nights

The end of the summer isn't normally something I feel any particular way about. I'm sad that the carefree feeling that comes with the summer months will be gone, but I look forward to the fall and getting to spend time outside without being so uncomfortable. I guess it's because for me, summer isn't that different from the rest of the year the way it once was when we were in school. Aside from taking advantage of free events in the city, I don't do much in the summer I can't do at other times.

But this year, I've done some "summery" things I don't normally do and it's got me thinking about the end of summer. For starters, I actually went on vacation a couple of times, which isn't something I normally do and kickstarted the summer feeling. It also happened that I got a lot of sun this summer because I went to the pool and beach for the first time in years. I did some of my usual summer in the city activities like Shakespeare in the Park and outdoor movies in the park. All in all, it felt like I took advantage of what the summer is supposed to offer.

Now that it's almost over, I've made an end of summer wishlist. I want to squeeze in a few more things I may not be able to do as easily in the fall: shows with limited engagement, weekend trips I can extend with summer Fridays, etc. I suddenly understand what other people mean when they feel summer slipping by. 

Do you have anything on your end of summer wishlist?

Revisionist Reruns

I'm a bit of a t.v. junkie, I admit. I like my shows and there's nothing better for me at the end of the day than settling in all cozy with a blanket and a beverage and getting lost in someone else's made-up drama, or laughing along with a sitcom, or having my heart race with anticipation as the characters try to catch the bad guys, or get themselves out of whatever scrape they're in.

I'm a sucker for story, and good storytelling in any medium--books, movies, television--is always going to capture me. But television is often less story-based and more character- and situation-based. If I like the characters or relate to their situation, that is what captures my attention.

Different kinds of shows have captured my attention in different times of life. Today, through the magic of Netflix and Hulu and iTunes, I'm able to go back in time and watch shows that I missed the first time around. I've surprised myself lately by tuning into some shows that I glossed over or even disparaged when they were contemporary, but watching them now I find myself hooked.

My changing t.v. preferences seem to speak to how I've changed as a person. Workplace comedies were amusing to me as a teenager, but as I got older and entered the workforce, the humor of them changed because I had seen the real side of those environments. My favorite show ever, The West Wing, (which I've watched all the way through at least three times), I thought was "boring" and "political" when it debuted. I loved FRIENDS from the first time I watched it, and followed it all the way through high school, college and beyond. Every episode. I admired how grown-up and quirky and out-in-the-world they seemed, but once I was out there myself, none of the many similar shows that followed ever captured me in quite the same aspirational way.

It's fun to go back and watch reruns that are new to me, and to catch up with shows I used to enjoy and see how my perspective on them has changed. Beyond sheer entertainment, I learn something about myself in the process.

What t.v. shows do you love, and how have your tastes changed over time?

Friday Forum: Bad Day

We all have days that start out less than perfect and seem to spiral down. Sometimes we're able to get a grip on things and have a positive approach, but sometimes that seems hopeless.

How do you handle a bad day? What usually lets you know that a bad day might be heading your way?

The Change-Up

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.


When things aren't quite going your way, it's easy to fall into the grass is always greener syndrome. But as the saying goes, before you judge a man (or covet his life), walk a mile in his shoes.
 
You don't have to turn back the clock, eat a magical fortune cookie, ride in a souped up DeLorean or relieve yourself in an enchanted fountain to discover your life and relationships are exactly as they should be, or get the kick in the butt to make them better.

The fact is our lives are the sum total of all the choices we've ever made up until this point - a combination unique unto ourselves, which means we have created the situation that on some level we've wanted or needed in order to learn and grow on this journey called life. 
   
So whatever your state of affairs, take full responsibility for it. The good news is that if you don't like it,  because you got yourself into it, you totally have the power to get out of it!    
 
A lot of my clients right now are at the point of no return - where there's no turning back or delaying the inevitable any longer. They've gotten to a place where the only thing to do is to go through - there is no way round, there is no way back - they need to make a change or take action in a certain direction because at this point there really is no other alternative, whether because of forced external realities or an internal malaise and dissatisfaction that they can no longer withstand.
 
Why changes haven't been made up to now is a more complicated and varied topic for another time; often it's a stronger sense of obligation to others and what they would want or would make them happy that prevents us from moving forward to the beat of our own drum. But contrary to Hollywood plots, we are the ones who have to live in our bodies, so it's up to us to do what needs to be done. It's time to go big or go home.

The Silent Treatment

I really dislike the silent treatment. I am annoyed when people use it towards me, and I only do it if as a means of last resort when dealing with a difficult person. I understand when people have to take step back from one another at times, but when it is a recurring pattern, and it lasts months and even years, it can be absolutely frustrating, and sometimes heartbreaking. I have dealt with this in my family, and have had to learn to understand and come to terms with behavior I do not like.

When I have tried to talk to a certain someone, and that person acts like I am not there or responds in an aggressive manner, that is when I take a step back because of self-preservation. This person has always been a negative force in my life, but I have learned a lot from the extended silences and the times in between. One of the most important of these is how not to act when in conflict with someone else. While my other family members and I have to keep our physical and verbal distance from this particular person, I make sure to keep the lines of communication open with other people in my life, even if there is conflict. I don’t need to make anyone who does not like me to be “my best friend,” but I always believe in being civil and polite, even if the other person will not reciprocate. Of course if he or she is completely rude, I know I have to stand up for myself. I have learned to do so the hard way, but I think I do it pretty well when needed, and with class.

Bottom line, I just don’t think maintaining an angry silence within any relationship is a good thing. This is especially true if it keeps reoccurring; that means there is a major dysfunction that should be taken care of. If not, the cycle of silence continues.

Do you think the silent treatment works, or do you dislike it as much as I do?

Strangely Satisfying

When people find out I like to clean, they don't really get it. I suppose it's because they get an image in their head of me cleaning when I could be out at a friend's party or at a movie or show, but that's not usually the way it works. I generally like to keep things clean but when I really like to clean is when I want to spend a few hours alone with just the mess and music, or when I desperately need to de-stress and get back to some sort of equilibrium. 

The only thing that has a similar affect for me is baking. People don't really get that either, though, especially because it makes them think I'm secretly a domestic Susie Homemaker type. But there is just something about the process of both that I really love...

First there's the routine of it all. The same step-by-step process will make your dirty kitchen spotless every time and following a well-written recipe will give you a baked good you'll enjoy. Secondly, both require quite a bit of attention and patience, which helps center me when my mind is usually analyzing and over-thinking. And lastly, there is something incredibly satisfying about starting a task and knowing that in just a few hours you have a finished product you can really enjoy. With cleaning, you can literally see that all the effort was worth it when you go from a grimey surface to something you can eat off of. With baking, you do a lot of mixing and combining and meticulous measuring, then you get to stick it in the oven for a while and it comes out as something delicious. It's almost magical!

Ok, so maybe you still think I'm a little weird, but isn't there something slightly strange that you find satisfying?

Considering The Help

I went to see The Help this weekend, dragging my feet all the way. It's a film about a Southern white journalist in 1963 who bravely interviews black housekeepers in an effort to tell the truth about racism in Jackson, Mississippi. I felt resistant because I've followed some controversial articles critiquing the movie for being yet another pop-culture celebration of the (always fictional) white heroes of the civil rights movement.

To be honest, there's very little I can say about the movie that would redeem it from that particular criticism, but there were things I found enjoyable about it anyway. I was glad I chose to support it with my money, for these reasons:

1. It's a phenomenally strong female-driven cast. Men are a subplot in this film, and even then, only barely. As we know from the shocking-but-typical minimization of women in film, that's nothing short of miraculous for a Hollywood blockbuster.

2. Within the ensemble, there's an armload of black actresses who know how to bring it, each of whom got a chance to shine. Far from being minimized, their role in the film was stronger and treated with more respect than I expected.

3. Our spunky heroine enjoys having a man, but doesn't need one. (The movie doesn't need him either, frankly, but perhaps you can't fight Hollywood on too many fronts and still expect to be a blockbuster.)

Overall, I still didn't love the movie, but for unexpected reasons. Here's my problem: If you're going to make a film centered in the world of white housewives, be real about it. I think the film missed a major opportunity to show a more nuanced picture of the civil rights era from a white perspective. The evil housewives are one-dimensional caricatures; they don't seem like real women with struggles and motives and flaws. I would have enjoyed the movie more if it had taken me to the uncomfortable place of sympathizing with them, in all their racist ways, instead of merely mocking their small-mindedness. It's admittedly fun to mock them, but the few real glimpses of their perspective skewed melodramatic, and I felt let down by the way the film turned some very insidious issues toward comedy. Like what it really would have meant for a black woman to defy a white woman in some of the ways the characters do. It didn't feel like a movie set in the 1960s, it felt like a movie made today about the 1960s, and as such it may please the crowd but it fails to tell the truth.

That said, this movie's going to be a blockbuster, and with cause. There's some great stuff in it, and it's definitely worth a look.

So.....go see it, and tell me what you think.

Friday Forum: Quick Escape

The end of the summer is getting closer by the minute, and people are still trying to get their last bit of vacation time in before it ends. Of course, if you can't travel, it's always fun to pretend, so tell us: where would you travel to right now if you could go anywhere in the world for a quick escape?

Check-In

Every so often, we like to switch things up and bring the attention back to you. Today is one of those days and we want you to tell us what you want to see more of and less of here on CHICKS ROCK! We write a lot but sometimes we want to know if you're connecting with it or if there's something we can do better. So have at it in the comments, and remember you can always make it anonymous.

The Kindness of Strangers

Sometimes I find that inconsiderate behavior is often the norm rather than the exception when I am driving, in a crowd, and/or in other public areas. I often hold the door open for those in front or behind me; sometimes they say thank you or nothing at all. There are times when people hold doors open for me, and I always say thank you; formulating those two words is not a struggle for me, as it can be for others. Perhaps it was the way I was raised or just that I always make an effort to show gratitude to those who show me kindnesses, and to reciprocate whenever I can. I know that I can never take the kindness of strangers for granted. It always catches me off guard, and in a good way.

I was on line to see the Alexander McQueen exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York last week, and was convinced that I would not get a chance to get in to see it before the museum closed. I anticipated the worst when I saw a line that was almost a city block long in front of the building. I discovered another entrance and a shorter line that the museum employees had opened, and struck up a conversation with a man who had a museum pass from his company. I got into the building in less than ten minutes instead of the hour I was expecting to wait, and as I got ready to pay my admission fee on the next line I was on, the same man offered to use museum pass to get me in for free. I was really grateful to him, and he went his own way after I shook his hand and rushed to join my friend who was waiting for me on another line to see the exhibit. It was a kindness I made sure he knew I appreciated before we parted ways, never to see each other again.

Have you ever been surprised by the kindness of strangers?

Switch Em Up Style

The summer has been very hectic for me, especially with moving and starting a new job within a week of each other. I've now been in my new apartment for just over a month and at my new job just under a month, but I'm still trying to get used to both. The apartment end doesn't need much of an update, but I'm struggling just a bit on the job front.

It's not that things aren't going well; they're actually going splendidly in terms of my actual work, the people I'm meeting, and the compliments I've been getting about my performance. What I'm struggling with is something that seems small but is starting to cause a bit of anxiety: fashion.

Yes, my clothes, makeup, hair, and shoes are constantly on my mind now that I work in "corporate America." I straighten my hair at least once a week now and feel strange when I don't have time and it's a poofy mess of curls. I try to wear makeup every day (something I've never even come close to doing before), but have been failing somewhat miserably so far because I constantly forget until I'm in the office. I wear dresses almost every day because I haven't gotten pants that fit, and I wear cardigans or blazers to cover my tattoos. I switch back and forth between (somewhat dingy) flats and the heels I bought a while back that I never thought I'd wear regularly. 

The problem is I haven't quite figured out how I'm supposed to dress. I look at my colleagues and try to see what their outfits have in common, which isn't usually much other than not wearing jeans. Every morning is the same game of questions: is this skirt too short? Does this actually match? Am I showing too much skin?

I'm hoping I get the hang of it soon and can stop worrying about something I care as little about as fashion. Though now that I say it, maybe that's the source of the problem...

Have you ever needed to worry about switching up your style? How did it go?

Poems and Promises

I've been thinking lately about a series of poetic phrases like roads diverging in a wood (Frost), and what really does happen to a dream deferred (Hughes), and basically all the things creative people try to say with poetry because it can't really be expressed any other way.

I'm thinking about this because sometimes, like today, I get the desire to sit down and write something brief and meaningful and expressive and lasting--which is exactly the way I'd describe the poetry I most enjoy. Sometimes I want to break from the forms that I'm used to--novels, essays, blog posts--and attempt something bite-sized, based on a feeling or idea that doesn't need to be explored in the course of three hundred pages, or maybe even three hundred words.

But I'm not a poet, strictly speaking. I've written the odd poem, sure, as I suspect most people have at some point. Let's say, then, that "Poet" is a label I'm uncomfortable with, because my relationship with poetry (both as reader and writer) is awkward at best, and not something I really aspire to improve.

Every other year or so, I promise myself I'm going to try harder with poetry, reading more of it, writing more of it, and being more open to it in general. These efforts are always short-lived, but I suppose I do dabble successfully. So, should I call myself a poet? When do you cross the line between having done something, and allowing it to become part of what defines you?

Given my current mood, I think I'll try calling myself a poet...but probably only for today.

Do you enjoy reading or writing poetry?

Friday Forum: Back on Track

We all start out projects, weeks at work, or other tasks with the best of intentions. Inevitably, some of them will end up getting much less than your full attention. Maybe you've procrastinated, maybe you're waiting on somebody else, maybe you got overwhelmed or simply forgot something.

What do you do when this happens to you? What's usually the reason and what do you do to get back on track?

What Are You Waiting For?

It's been some time since we featured one of your guest posts, so it's time for another reminder. 

You don't need to be a writer or editor to submit a great guest post, you just need to tell your story in a way that's honest and authentic. Topics can range from careers to relationships to pop culture, all that we ask is that you take a look at our guidelines or some past posts before submitting.

What are you waiting for? Write down your thoughts or experiences and send your post over!

The Performance Gene

I definitely did not inherit the performance gene in my family. I have cousins who sing and dance so well that I find it hard to believe that we are related sometimes. While my childhood was isolated, they had (and continue to have) exposure to many people within their cultural and religious worlds. Part of me is glad not to have the pressures to fit in with a community that can be extremely judgmental, but another part of me knows that the experience of performance and exposure to a variety of people at a young age can be beneficial to social development.

I saw the benefits of having the performance gene recently with one of my cousins as she danced to a packed, inadequately air conditioned theater. She had the usual jitters associated with performing live in front of family and friends, but she held herself with such poise as the theater remained hot. It wasn’t so bad for me, because the ceilings were quite high and I remained seated with everyone else as I fanned myself constantly. My cousin had the stamina and the discipline to perform dance after dance, and make it look effortless.

My cousin is trained in the classic dance from of Bharatanatyam, which originates in Southern India, which she has been part of it since she was five years old. The dance recital, or Arangettam as it is called in my parents’ native language, usually takes place after years of training with a dance guru; it is like a final exam and graduation all in one. I was completely ignorant of this aspect of the classical Indian dance world my cousin has been in until the day of her Arangettam, when I saw her hard work pay off before my eyes. I am not sure I would have had the discipline and passion she has for dance, even if I had the opportunity to take classes as a child.

Do you have the performance gene? If so, do you think it gives you an advantage over those who do not?

Double Booked

As you all know, I would be lost without my calendar. I sync my work calendar to it, keep track of birthdays and special events, and every dinner, drinks, museum, or other type of social interaction that I've been invited to and accepted. The goal is to avoid double booking: agreeing to go somewhere and then realizing you already had something else going on. Sadly, it can't always be avoided.

If you take a look at my schedule for this Saturday, you'll see a birthday party, sorority meeting, friend coming into town, friend coming over to visit my new place, and laundry list of errands I haven't found time to get done (something tells me that's not happening this weekend). It's also Target First Saturday at Brooklyn Museum, which I've been looking forward to all summer but was out of town for. My day is essentially made up of things I really want to do and things I agreed to and feel I can't back out of.

The other day when I was hanging out with a friend, I explained how I had to squeeze him in and went through this week's schedule with him. When I was done, he merely said "But why can't you just cancel with people?" It's not the first time somebody has said that to me, but it was the first time it really resonated with me. He was right: most of my friends know how hectic things are for me and will appreciate any time I have to give them, but understand if I have to cancel so I can rest at home instead. The ones who don't get it or who complain that it's "just" an hour or two might not be worth it anyway.

So I'm turning over a new leaf, starting by clearing up some of my Saturday.

Do you feel bad about canceling plans? How do you manage to not double book?

Big Screen Withdrawal

You know those annoying pop-up surveys that sometimes come up when you're browsing online? Not the spam ones that you automatically close, but the briefer, official ones that are designed as market research for the company whose website you're surfing. I recently completed a fairly detailed one on the entertainment industry.*

(*SIDEBAR: Most people probably click past these, too, but I'm a geek for this sort of thing. Back in school, I was the kind of dork who looked forward to standardized testing days, because it meant I got to fill in all those little bubbles on the paper. Ahem.)

This survey started by asking how often I go to the movie theater, and it gave options ranging from once or twice a year to two or three per week. I automatically clicked the most frequent option....then realized I haven't been to a movie in over a month. In fact, there have been several months over the past year when I haven't been to even one movie.

The realization actually shocked me, because I used to go to movies ALL THE TIME. At least one per weekend, if not two or three, if several new releases seemed interesting enough. I've just been so busy with work and travel lately, and the friends I tend to see movies with have been, too. I've missed seeing some things I was looking forward to, and I suspect much more has gone by without my notice.

I can't decide whether to celebrate this shift, for all the reasons that it means I'm out in the world having adventures, or to mourn the fact that a pastime I truly loved seems to have fallen by the wayside.

Have you discovered any changed habits lately, for better or worse?

Friday Forum: Down With Debt

If you pay any attention to the headlines, you know that America's debt has become quite the issue. There isn't much we can do as individuals to affect the national debt, but it does serve as a reminder to take a look at our own debt.

How much do you stay on top of your finances? What do you do to manage your debt and get it down?

TWM Top 10 Fun Facts & Highlights

Since we are celebrating TWM's 10th Anniversary, we thought we'd look back and remember some fun facts and highlights throughout the years!

#10
On January 24, 2001, 30 diverse women gathered at TaiPei Noodle House to celebrate the Lunar New Year and launching of The Women's Mosaic®. Since then we've offered over 95 unique activities and events to over 5000 women enabling them to connect to themselves, each other and the world around them!

Countries, cultures and topics include: Haiti, India, Zimbabwe, Iraq, The Philippines, Sri Lanka, Colombia, Greece, Japan, Israel/Palestine, Tibet, Sweden, Spain, Body Image, Books, Health & Wellness, Religion, Politics and Personal Growth.

#9
One year after 9/11, TWM's My Life as a Muslim Woman gathered nine ethnically diverse Muslim women to talk about who they are and how their religion influences their everyday lives. The event dispelled myths and stereotypes about Islam and united the NYC Muslim community in the process. One of those panelists was Daisy Khan, who, along with her husband Imam Feisal, has since become a national leader and voice for American-Muslim relations.

#8
Some notable women who have contributed to the world of TWM: Terrie Williams, Adaora Udoji, and Sandra Endo moderated our panels; Sarah Jones and cast members from PBS' Colonial House spoke to us; Kekla Magoon started out right out of college with us as a volunteer grant writer and is now an award-winning Young Adult Author; Politics Schmolitics panelist Regina Calcaterra first talked publicly about her experience in the foster care system that night and ran for State Senate six years later using her story as part of her platform; Randi Zuckerberg interned with TWM working on our Spotlight on Sri Lanka event and One Hot Havana Night Fundraiser, and is now part of her brother's empire!

#7
Hopping on the "Kill Bill" and "Last Samurai" bandwagon, CNN's Jeanne Moos covers TWM's Unleash the Woman Warrior in You workshop, giving us national television exposure.

#6
TWM's Founder, Kristina Leonardi is listed as one of Hispanic Magazine's 2004 Top Latinas, receives Tango Diva's 2007 Visionary Award and honored as one of the WNBA's NY Liberty 2009 Inspiring Women and was shown on the jumbotron at MSG!

#5
TWM's panelists for My Life as a Female Soldier in Iraq were scheduled to be featured on WB11's Morning News but were bumped at the last minute due to breaking news of the Eliot Spitzer scandal!

#4
TWM launches CHICKS ROCK! our blog for women to express their experiences related to diversity and personal growth on September 18, 2008, the same day as the Black Monday stock market crash. But we have not missed a week since then with over 750 posts to date!

#3
In 2004 TWM prints its first issue of INSPIRER, a more detailed look at our events, with two more editions to follow. Our second edition features testimonials from then UN Secretary General Kofi Annan and Cosmo Magazine founder Helen Gurley Brown

#2
TWM grew out of a Visioning Workshop, that we have since offered every year for the past 10 years: 22 workshops to date with businesses, babies, makeovers, moves and more all manifesting as a result! Women have traveled from Indiana, Michigan and DC just to attend!

#1
TWM's 10th Anniversary Moroccan Magic Fundraiser took place on Tuesday, July 26th to celebrate all this and more! There was a Bellydance lesson and performance, live magician, silent auction and fun with friends old and new!