Female in Relationship Seeking Friend in Relationship

It’s funny that Kekla posted on relationships yesterday, because what I’ve wanted to touch on for a while is friendship… as it relates to relationships.

I’m lucky to have a good core group of friends that I can turn to for almost anything. I have friends who I know can always make me laugh, friends who give great professional advice, friends who I have a lot in common with, and plenty of friends that I just love being around. What I don’t really have, though, are friends that I can easily turn to for relationship advice, or to simply let out my feelings about my relationship. Let me elaborate…

It’s easy enough for my friends to indulge me in general griping – when he’s made a mess in the kitchen, when he’s calling too much, when he’s not calling at all, etc. These are small things I can quickly release, make fun of, and move on from. But anything deeper than that doesn’t work. Most of my friends are single, so the number of conversations that end with “well at least you have a guy” (either in words or in general attitude) are many. Then I have friends who are in relationships, but who I don’t feel comfortable getting advice from because the dynamics of their own relationships are not what I want in mine. The advice they give me is well-meaning, but not anything I’d follow.

And so it is that whenever I am having one of those moments when I need to let out any frustrations or anxiety, or when I just need some really good advice, I usually have to look inward or get advice from a book. So far this has been an adequate strategy, but I can’t imagine it being successful for much longer. Now I’m on a mission to find more friends in relationships that I admire, but something tells me that won’t be so easy.

Do you find that you can’t talk to your single friends about relationships? Or that you can’t talk about being single with your coupled up friends? Where do you turn for advice?