A Changing Vision

I'm still excited about marking the TWM 10th Anniversary! Since there's a Visioning Workshop coming up this Saturday, I thought it'd good to look back over my past collages. I discovered Visioning about six years ago, so I have nearly twelve collages posted on my office walls.

Each collage speaks of a moment in my life; they are little snapshots of what I happened to be going through at the time I made them. Each evokes different emotions when I look at it. Some still feel resonant, like there is unfinished business within the images, while others feel more settled, like pieces of the past, old photographs.

I find recurring themes that crop up over and over: close-ups of hands making things, strong female images, peacocks, winding roads, leafless trees. One thing that strikes me is the sheer volume of images, and all the potential meanings each piece of each collage could hold for me. It could become overwhelming, but instead I feel a sense of calm, of richness, of bounty.

I don't believe that images have inherent power, but that their significance comes from interpretation, which means that plentiful feeling must originate inside of me. I cannot be all the things I ever dreamed, but seeing the possibilities all laid out in front of me helps me realize that the cream does rise to the top, and I am living the life I am meant to, day by day.

If you've never done a vision board with TWM, now is a good time to try it!

Friday Forum: TWM Reflections

All week, we've been celebrating TWM's 10th anniversary and now it's your turn to join us. What does TWM mean to you?

Share some of your favorite TWM memories -- perhaps a program you learned a lot from or a collage at a Visioning Workshop that changed your course.

TWM Turns 10!

Continuing this celebration of TWM’s 10th anniversary, we wanted to post this from founder Kristina Leonardi as a way of giving thanks to all of TWM’s supporters including our awesome CHICKS ROCK! readers. Thanks to TWM for creating this platform for all of us who write regularly, guest blog, comment, and read.

Ten years ago, The Women's Mosaic held its very first meeting at Taipei Noodle House on the Lunar New Year of the Snake January 24, 2001!

We started out with a basic email blast to about 50 women, 35 of which showed up at that first gathering. Since then we've offered more than 95 unique events and have grown to a community of over 5,000 dynamic women and men both here and abroad, helping them connect to themselves, each other and the world around them!

In addition to new programs, this year we'll be taking a look back at events we've offered over the past decade, so stay tuned for TWM Flashbacks and TWM Connections with reviews, comments and updates from members and attendees!

But today we simply want to acknowledge and show our sincere appreciation for some key support we've received throughout the years, so we want to give a special shout out to Michele Lambrech, Christina Bellini, Melanie McEvoy and Kekla Magoon as past and present board members, our special team of volunteer staff and pro bono help, Sally Mercedes, Mara Leonardi, Scott Damashek, Alan Scott, Heather Floyd, Christina Quintero, Michelle French, Padma Vaidyanathan, Christianna Mihaiu, Pauline Karakat, Chris Kopek and Craig Wenrich and to all of our current and past volunteers, interns, TWM Members and donors who keep us keepin' on - we couldn't have gotten this far without any of you!

And last, but certainly not least, a big rockin' thanks to all of our TWM eNewsletter readers, event attendees, Facebook Fans, Twitter followers and blog subscribers - we hope to keep you inspired and connected for many years to come.

My TWM Experience

I first learned about The Women’s Mosaic back in 2007. My sister and I attended a conference where we heard Kristina Leonardi speak about her journey to the creation of the non-profit organization, which I remember being impressed by. I talked to Kristina afterwards to ask more questions about TWM and her experiences. After a year in Indonesia, I was wondering about my own journey; I still am of course. I find myself enriched by the opportunities and experiences I have had through TWM.

Before teaching abroad in Indonesia, I was convinced that I would never be much of a public speaker. I challenged myself when I went abroad to teach, because having command of a classroom is no easy feat. I learned to speak with conviction to help my students understand their lessons, which I treasure to this day. When I returned to the U.S. and got involved with The Women’s Mosaic, I continued to use my voice in different ways. I attended a few college career fairs as a TWM representative and talked to those interested in internships for college credit. I think I did a good job promoting the organization and its many cultural and educational benefits. I enjoyed talking about something I believed in, and I think it showed; it still shows today.

There have been various TWM events and programs I have enjoyed being a part of, but being a CHICKS ROCK! Blogger has definitely been the most significant. Every week, Kekla, Sally, and I share our thoughts and experiences, as do our guest bloggers and Kristina herself on occasion. I enjoy connecting with TWM and non-TWM members on the blog most of all.

It has been quite a decade for The Women’s Mosaic! I look forward to what the future will bring to the organization.

Growing With TWM

Straight out of college, my first internship was with The Women's Mosaic. I was thrown right into an event -- the summer fundraiser -- setting up, meeting people, putting out any fires that started, etc. It was intense and a bit overwhelming, but I felt the connection immediately. The energy, mission, and commitment were just what I needed, and I never looked back.

My role has changed over the years as my interests and as the skills I want to work on have changed. I've planned events, assisted with grants, and designed CHICKS ROCK! as a way of reaching more women and staying connected with the women who already know the great work TWM does. Some people wonder how it is that I've been able to do so many different things in my time here, and it's all because of Kristina.

True to the mission and vision of TWM, Kristina's primary goal has always been to make sure that I'm growing personally and professionally by helping TWM. She would often check in with me to ask me about my career goals and let me know what project I could take on next to get me started on reaching those goals. It's this encouragement and the need to put us first that keeps me around. No matter what, I know that Kristina and the women of TWM are looking out for me.

Even if I do end up moving, I can't imagine disconnecting from TWM, so it's a good thing I'll still have CHICKS ROCK! and other online outlets to turn to. I've become part of this community and wouldn't be able to leave it behind so easily. Heck, I'd probably seek out other women looking for personal growth, empowerment, and a ways to connect with other cultures, bring them together, and introduce them to the organization that's been pushing me forward for all these years.

TWM's 10th Anniversary!

Today marks the 10th Anniversary of The Women's Mosaic's founding! This week at CHICKS ROCK! we'll be celebrating this organization that has meant so much to all of us.

I discovered The Women's Mosaic (TWM) in the spring of 2002, at a career/activities fair for young women. I was staffing a booth that happened to be located directly across the room from TWM's booth. Being relatively new to New York, and eager to meet new people, I was attracted to the large photo display board of diverse-looking women. All afternoon, I gazed at it, wondering what it was about. But, being a conscientious employee, I was concerned about leaving my own booth unattended in order to explore things at my leisure.

But the call was too great. Eventually, I talked myself into wandering over. I'll be really quick, I thought. And I was. It took but a few brief moments to scurry over, grab a brochure, and jot my name on the mailing list. Little did I know, it was but the first of many times TWM would draw me beyond my comfort zone.

I lingered on the mailing list for months before I was able to come to an event, but getting involved was one of the best choices I made in my first years in the city. I made new friends and got monthly doses of the diverse interactions and focused conversation that I craved. Soon I was writing grants for the organization, staffing events, and participating in a Visioning Workshop that sounded to me at first "neat but weird," and which I now wouldn't want to live without.

Sometimes being with TWM does feel like wandering into the unknown, leaving behind the things I know and am familiar with. I've never written a grant before--why are they trusting me to try this? Six months later, I got a job as a grantwriter. I've never blogged regularly before--do I have enough to say? Here I am two years into it, happily typing away.

The list goes on, of course, but what I want to say most of all is simple:

Happy Birthday, TWM! Thanks for everything. I wouldn't be who I am today without you.

Friday Forum: Best Books

We here at CHICKS ROCK! love few things more than a great book. It's been a while since we gabbed about our favorite reads, so we want to know: of the books you've read in the last year what are some of the favorites? What was it that you loved so much about them?

Review, Refresh & Reboot

While you're gearing up for TWM's Visioning Workshop, or if you already know you can't make it, you can swing by TWM founder & CHICKS ROCK! guest blogger Kristina's New Year's Workshop on Saturday. Check out the details below.

New Year's Workshop: Review, Refresh and Reboot for 2011!
Saturday, January 22nd 1pm-5pm

Review: 2010
Refresh: Your goals & objectives
Reboot: Get ready for 2011!

Workshop + Group Coaching

COST: $55 in advance; $65 at the door ($10 discount available for Members of TWM, YNPN, Woodhull, NYWICI, Baruch and StepUp)

Spend a reflective, interactive afternoon focusing on what you want to achieve in and how to do it in 2011 and beyond!
In this workshop you will:
*Review your internal and external accomplishments of 2010
*Identify the three areas of life you want to focus on and an overall theme for the year
*Create your definition of success for 2011 and beyond
*Gain insights and tools to overcome blocks and barriers to achieving your goals
*Leave with inspiration, motivation and an action plan to make it happen!

Attendees of this workshop can attend TWM's Visioning Workshop at the TWM Member rate.

Sign up for the workshop here.

Southern Hospitality

After visiting Georgia this weekend, I am more convinced that I do not belong where I was born and brought up. I never really did; there are many exceptions of course, but in general I find people to be very isolated from one another where I live. When visiting my sister’s new in-laws and their friends, I was amazed at how readily and eagerly they accepted me and the rest of my family into their conversations. They see me, my parents, my brother, and my cousins as new additions to their family instead of just my sister, which is a welcome surprise to me. Is it a Southern thing? Is it because of their faith? Or are they just uniquely warm and inviting people? Whatever it is, I am not complaining.

The moment I landed in Atlanta, I was welcomed with such cordiality that I have rarely experienced before. I have not spent significant time in the Southern United States in the past, but my brief memories do include warm and friendly strangers that would offer help readily without hesitation. My family and I were charmed by the friendliest man we met during our short sojourn to Georgia working in the parking lot of the rental car company we acquired a car from. As we were pulling out, we stopped to ask him general questions about the trip from Atlanta to Athens, and with the warmest smile from ear to ear, he told us exactly where we needed to go, and he was right! No money exchanged hands, because he did not want it; he was just so happy to help us. As a Northerner, I was and still am blown away by the genuine care we received.

I told my sister that I hoped she appreciated how genuine and loving her new in-laws are to her, because most people are not as fortunate as she is to be welcomed into such an open-hearted group of people. She already knew it of course, but it was good for her to agree with me.

Are your experiences in the South similar?

Sisterly Love

Every winter, I spend a weekend with a group of my sorority sisters, helping them with the business end of things and also catching up. I have to admit that some years are better than others. If business takes too long, for example, those of us who are well out of college are bored for hours. But this year was easily the best time I've had. We played Taboo for hours, updated each other on everything going on in our lives, gossiped, and looked back on our favorite memories together.

Some of these women I've known for almost nine years and some I've barely known for nine months. Some of these women I speak to almost on a daily basis and some I've only had a handful of conversations with. No matter which group we fall into, however, our sisterhood lets us skip any awkwardness or pretense and jump right into things when we get together.

I went into the weekend not expecting much, but it was one of the best times I've had in months. Most importantly, I came out of it feeling a stronger connection to my Hermanas. Our time together reminded me of the reasons I joined this organization in the first place: to make a difference in my community, to uplift other women, and to create a bond with a group of people who I would love unconditionally and indefinitely.

Even though we don't always get along or agree on everything, we are there for each other when we need it most, even if we don't realize just how much that is.

Honoring Radiance

On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day it always seems that my task here becomes a little bit bigger. I want to say something significant to honor the legacy not just of one exceptional man, but of an entire movement, an entire generation of people who struggled and died so I could enjoy the freedoms I take for granted today. All in 350 words or fewer....Yikes.

I feel a connection to this legacy, in part because I've studied the history and am truly grateful for the change wrought by the civil rights era. In part because I see the change that still needs to happen. And maybe in part because I think I'm supposed to, being a black American and all. Still, I find myself floundering for the right words to respond to something so momentous.

This morning, in reference to the Rev. Dr. King, someone quoted me a line from a poem by Elizabeth Alexander: "We all crave radiance in this austere world." I wonder sometimes how austere the world can become: We live in a time of war, and one in which violence can occur seemingly at random against a Congresswoman and an innocent, unsuspecting crowd, including children. Because of those things, I now live in a world in which an oddly-dressed stranger walking into a private meeting immediately conjured in my mind images of a random, psychotic shootout. Bit by bit compassion falls by the wayside, in service of fear.

In the midst of it all, I cling to the sense of triumph and sacrifice that this day is supposed to symbolize. For Dr. King, the first response--even in the face of terror--was never fear, it was courage. His dedication to what was right never faded in the face of all that went wrong. Most amazingly of all, he never had to stand alone.

Thanks, Dr. King, for your too-brief flash of radiance. Let us not imagine that your torch has burned out, but rather that it exploded and burst forth flinging bits of flame. Let us imagine capturing those tiny fires on torches of our own and walking forward through the night until the dawn washes over us all.

Friday Forum: Putting a Face to Tragedy

There were a lot of events in the news this week: the anniversary of Haiti's devastating earthquake, the floods in Australia, the shooting in Tucson, AZ and President Obama's subsequent address, and so forth. It's easy to ignore things if they don't directly affect you because we can't always connect current events with a real face. So we want you to speak up if you've been affected.

Have any of these tragic events affected you? What would you like to say to those of us who might not know everything that's going on?

One Step Closer to a New You

Due to popular demand, The Women's Mosaic is now offering their Visioning Workshop three times a year! Even better than that, the next one is right around the corner. Just as you start to settle into your routine this new year, TWM's Visioning Workshop can help you get focused and take on the year with a clear mind. Be sure to RSVP so you can claim your spot before it sells out.

VISIONING WORKSHOP: Using Your Creativity and Intuition to Gain Clarity, Find Focus and Manifest Your Dreams
Saturday, February 5th, 11:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.

Feeling a little confused with all that's going on with your career and the economy? Not sure what to do next with your life? Maybe your just a bit unsatisfied overall but can't exactly pinpoint what it is...

Our Visioning Workshop can help you sort it all out!

Come to our popular and powerful semi-annual workshop for a creative, transformative afternoon where you will make a collage to manifest your heart's desire - and you may be surprised as to what that turns out to be.

It's not unusual for participants to start new businesses, relationships, families or career paths as quickly as weeks or months after the workshop. If you are looking for both answers and results to help figure out where you are right now in your life and where you want to go next, this could be thing exact thing you need to push you forward and take you there.

COST: $85 for TWM Members; $135 for Non-Members
LOCATION: TRS Professional Suites, 44 East 32nd St, 11th Floor

RSVP on Facebook or by emailing sally@thewomensmosaic.org

CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS

Also check out TWM Founder Kristina Leonardi's New Year's Workshop on January 22nd: Review, Refresh and Reboot for 2011!

Why Haitian News Coverage Subsided

It is the one year anniversary of the Haitian earthquake, and I look back at the past year since it occurred and feel dismayed. It is obvious that the news media slacked off on its intense coverage of the aftermath of the disaster after the early months of 2010, which I understand to a certain extent. After all, the continuous reports of squalor, corruption, crime, preventable illnesses and death were and continue to be overwhelming. The news was and still is pessimistic; there was so much money and other supplies gathered for earthquake relief, but too many in high-level positions have prevented and misused those donations from being used to help those who are really need for a variety of reasons.

New tragedies and controversies also began to dominate the airwaves, and many of us began to forget how bad it was and still in Haiti. The events like the BP oil spill and the trapped Chilean miners stuck in perilous living conditions made me realize how we as human beings revel in tragedy to an extent, but eventually we want the hero(es) to save the day and resolve the situations. The villains need to be defeated; there must be a finish line. Of course, in the case of the Haitian earthquake aftermath, there is no foreseeable end to the devastation that continues to wreak havoc on the survivors. There are few heroes and too many bad guys out there, which is beyond frustrating to me and to many of my friends and family members. The “beginning, middle and end” situation is taking too much time for most of us, and I for one can admit this freely.

One year later, I make it a point not to forget the enormity of the natural catastrophe and devastating aftermath. Any bits and pieces I hear on the news about Haiti makes me remember and reflect without getting too morbid about it. I remain hopeful that all will turn out well---eventually.

What are your thoughts on the year of news coverage about the Haitian earthquake and its aftermath?

Searching for a New Home

For several years now (probably close to a decade), I've been wanting to leave New York and live somewhere else for a while. At first, it was completely out of my control because I was still living at home, but since then, I haven't taken the opportunity to move out of the state.

In this past year, I've had my heart set on moving to Paris. I haven't fully considered the logistics of such a move, but I've certainly been thinking about much more seriously than some people might expect. Somebody once told me that a great way to get yourself to go somewhere is to tell everyone you know and meet that your plan is to go there and, at the very least, I've been doing that. I suppose that's the first step, then.

Of course, even I realize that Paris is a bit of a stretch and that, for the time being anyway, I could simply pack my bags and head to another state or another region of the U.S. With that in mind, I've been taking mental notes in my travels. I've visited a lot of states and cities in the last couple of years that I had never been to before and in each new place I ask myself "could I live here?" So far, the only place I could potentially see myself in is Seattle, which makes me curious about traveling to other places in the Pacific Northwest. I have a couple of friends who absolutely love the region, so there must be something to it.

So this year, I'm hoping to visit major cities throughout the U.S. that I might be able to call home for at least a couple of years. Having felt how Paris grabbed me immediately, I'm hoping I can find a place in the states that pulls me in just as much. In the meantime, I'll keep preparing myself for my big move to Paris, even if I don't know when that day will come.

Book #2: CAMO GIRL

I'm excited to announce that last week was the official release date of my second novel, CAMO GIRL. I write books for middle and high school students; this one is ideal for 4th-7th grade readers.

A quick description of Camo Girl: Best friends Ella and Z are outcasts in their sixth grade class. They cling to one another to survive the teasing of bullies, forming imaginary "super-selves" to protect them from their tormentors. When a new boy, Bailey, joins their class, he befriends Ella because they are the only two black kids. But Bailey is popular, a basketball star, and friendship with him means Ella can move up the social ladder--but Z cannot follow. Ella must decide whether to stick with Z and remain an outcast, or abandon her lifelong friend to fulfill her own dream of popularity.

In promoting the book the publisher (Aladdin/Simon & Schuster) has said: "Author Kekla Magoon deftly navigates the muddy waters of racial and cultural identities in this contemporary exploration of one girl's attempt to find herself." Although it's fiction, the book certainly takes into account some of my own experiences. My problems and struggles as a teen were different from those of my characters, but the situations I put them through are at least partly based on what I found middle school to be like for me.

The book has received some lovely reviews, which is both exciting and gratifying, to know that the story is being well-recieved. For me, most of the pleasure of writing and publishing a book is found in the personal creative process and the sense of satisfaction of completing something solid that I feel good about. But there's no denying the other part of the equation, the part that is about communicating with others and putting a collection of thoughts into the world in the form of a story, hoping that someone will understand and appreciate whatever you are trying to say.

For the writers out there, how do you feel about your relationship with your readers?

For the readers out there, do you ever think about the author of a book you're reading, or is it all about the text and what it means to you?

Friday Forum: Switching Gears

Resolutions aside, the new year is a great time to recharge your batteries and get focused on new goals and ambitions.

Is there anything you're looking to change about yourself or your life in 2011?

Link Love for 1/6

It's a brand new year and we think it should start by catching up with some of our favorite blogs. Check out what we've been reading.

Awaken Your CAREERpreneur asks you to take a look at your life and consider if you ever actually take a break.

Girl w/Pen looks back at the latest season of Dexter: from a feminist point of view, just how well did it do?

In Good Company recounts one little girl's winter break highlight -- you'll be surprised to read what it is!

Lindsey Pollak's blog teaches us how to create a career wish list to get us started for the new year.

One Writeous Chick explains why she doesn't like the holidays while spreading some post-holiday cheer.

Savvy Ladies wants 2011 to be the year of intention so that we can avoid the mistakes we've made in the past.

What did you read or write over the holidays? Share links in the comments!

Changing By Starting Small

After the holidays, I find it easy to fall back into old habits and routines that I would rather avoid all together. As we all know “old habits die hard,” and the ruts we get into seem almost impossible to get out of. This year, I have decided to remind myself daily to stay open to new experiences, but I am not calling this a New Year’s resolution. I often break resolutions very early on in the year. Instead, I remind myself on a daily basis to take on new challenges, no matter how insignificant they may seem. So far, this method appears to be working.

I am making small steps towards showing no fear in my daily life. So far, I have started more conversations with people I meet for the first time, and even flirting when the opportunity presents itself! I am definitely not a natural conversation starter, and am no flirt, but I find that like most people around me, I have tunnel vision when it comes to life. Most of it has to do with personal safety and the regional culture in which I live in; there could be disagreement about this, but I find that people in the Northeastern United States are not as open as those in other parts of the country. I am definitely guilty of that. Now that I am making a daily effort to be more outgoing, I have noticed other people observing me, perhaps with a bit of disapproval, envy, or both. In the past I would be discouraged by these nonverbal observations of others, but my daily reminders to change and be open make it easier for me not to fall prey to this.

These and other daily efforts are preparing me for the big challenges I hope to take on in the near future. Since relocation is the most daunting change I plan to make, I find that the small changes I make every day are helping me get ready for the inevitable.

If you have stories to share about similar challenges, I would love to hear them!

The Perfect (Non)Holiday Celebration

After 2010 kicked our butts, you would think my friends and I would all be eager to so goodbye & good riddance and celebrate the start of what will hopefully be a better year. Instead, all of us were sort of over the idea of celebrating. One friend even said that she was considering getting to bed before the ball dropped and sleeping through the big moment, not waking up until the next morning. My only requirement for the night was that it involve macaroni & cheese and a lot of wine. All of us were basically hoping we could pretend it wasn't a holiday and move on.

At the last minute, we figured out a way to celebrate that was just what we needed: something low-key, pressure-free, and fun. Most importantly, we'd be together.

My best friend and I made macaroni & cheese with peas, onions and bacon that tasted even more delicious than it sounds. Then we broke out the wine, had dinner with my sisters, and played Taboo and Trivial Pursuit for the rest of the night with a couple of other friends who joined us later on. We took a three-minute break to watch the ball drop, but were otherwise so caught up in all the fun we were having that we kept forgetting what we were there for. Basically, it was just what we needed to distract ourselves from the pain and drama of 2010 and focus on a lighter, happier future. I have to say, it's one of the best New Year's "celebrations" I've ever had.

How do you usually celebrate New Year's?

Not So New Year

It's funny, even though I've been out of school for going on ten years at this point, I still have trouble embracing January as the beginning of a new year. In my mind September is still when things refresh and a new cycle starts, no doubt because that was how life was organized throughout my childhood.

There was always back to school shopping in August, awkward first days of class in September, a headlong plunge toward Christmas, when the semester would end and the year was half over. Only half over. I looked forward to the gifts and vacation I associated with the official year's end, sure, but I dreaded New Year's Day itself, because its arrival meant it was time to go back to school.

After the holidays, the months between January and June became a downward slide toward summer vacation, the true year's end--a time to relax and recharge before it all started up again. I got so ingrained in this pattern in my formative years that I haven't been able to shake it in the years since. I even still buy student calendars that run August to August, so as not to disrupt my system by switching "mid-year."

By all appearances, I celebrate the January 1 New Year along with everyone else. I watch the ball drop at midnight, drink sparkling-cider toasts and make resolutions that I have varying degrees of success at keeping. I wish people a Happy New Year. Yet, there remains a little childish part of me that stamps its foot and whines "but it's not really new year, you know."

In a desperate attempt to finally grow up, I've tried using traditional calendars repeatedly. (It didn't take.) I've made grand, sweeping resolutions in an effort to more significantly mark the change...but that usually leads to quick, plunking failure.

Now, when the New Year comes, I simply smile and nod and think about the Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) celebration I attended back in the early fall. I think they're onto something...

Have you embraced the New Year?

Friday Forum: New Beginnings

New Year's Eve is finally here! If you don't have those resolutions set, now's the time to do it.

What's your resolution for the new year? Looking back, how did you do with last year's resolution?

Holiday Guests

We're finishing up our holiday here at CHICKS ROCK!, and it wouldn't be complete without having you check out the work of our excellent guest bloggers. Look back on their posts and be sure to submit a guest post of your own if you've got something to say.

Juicing and Detoxing My Way*

The following was originally posted on May 19, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Holiday series:

When I make big changes in my life, I want to make a fresh start. This requires considerable effort from me, and one of the things I have decided to do is to concentrate on my health. My days of going through drive-through windows may not be over, but I plan to make much healthier choices when it comes to the food I eat. One way I plan to do this is by starting a juice fast and avoiding two staples in my diet.

This isn’t the first time I have done a juice fast. A few years ago, my sister and I went through one together for a few days, and it was very enlightening. I found myself not craving solid foods at all during the process, because all of the vegetables I was consuming in one glass filled me up. My vision was sharper, and I felt an overall sense of positivity.

When Kristina suggested a juice fast at last week’s “Thursdays at Three” meeting, I knew I had to do it again. I took her suggestions into consideration and did my own research to create a plan that is right for me. I will do a juice fast this week using the knowledge of experts on the subject of “juicing” and overall health. Even after the fast in complete, I will use my juicer weekly to supplement one meal with a fully satisfying glass of vegetable and fruit juice.

I don’t believe in dieting, but I do believe in eating healthy and knowing which foods to minimize or avoid all together. I never drink soda, I hardly drink store-bought juice, but I do have dairy and wheat products often, and I will be giving both up for the next month as part of my detox program. Giving up wheat will be very difficult, since it is in everything! But I am determined to choose gluten-free alternatives and to read all labels.

Does anyone have any juicing and/or detox advice to share?

Ditching the Plan*

The following was originally posted on July 20, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Holiday series.

I’m usually a very organized person, planning things well in advance. Even when I decide to do something last-minute, I still take a moment to think about a plan before getting started. This weekend took me out of my comfort zone, but I had a great time.

It started on Saturday, when I had a birthday party planned for my guy. I wanted to get up early to make sliders, chicken tenders, etc. before anybody started coming over. But it didn’t exactly turn out that way… Everyone got up late, so I couldn’t clean up or get started with cooking until quite late in the day. By the time we were getting food in the oven and on the stovetop grill, there were already several people in the apartment. My sister was surprised and said “Why didn’t you already have this done? This is not like you.” But instead of dwelling on it as I normally might, I had fun with it and focused on getting it done. I missed out on the beginning of the party, but the food was a hit.

I guess that attitude carried over to the next day. The only plan I had for the day was an early workout and then cleaning the apartment. After the workout, however, we decided to grab lunch at a cute spot nearby. Then my guy decided he wanted to get his tattoo and asked us if we were interested in going with him. My sister and I headed down, and we both ended up getting tattoos at the last minute. Then, despite being exhausted and planning to clean and sleep for the rest of the night, we thought it’d be fun to go to the movies instead.

After a weekend of ditching the plan and dabbling in spontaneity, I can definitely see the appeal. Sure, I’m beyond exhausted and the apartment is a mess, but I had a great time, I got the tattoo I’ve been wanting for a while, and spent quality time with my sister. I may be doing this more often.

Touching Things Past*

The following was originally posted on February 8, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Holiday series:

I'm a little bit of a history geek. I was a history major in college, and I really enjoy historical fiction, historical films and other things along those lines. I love to dive into some other time or place in the world and try to get a handle on what was going on then and there, what people might have thought and felt way back when about one another and their lives and their place in the world. There's something about knowing what has gone before that feels deeply important to me.

Thinking about it recently, I know that there are two sides to my interest in the past--one is intellectual and the other is more personal/emotional. I do have the desire to really know this world--in a sweeping, epic, global sense, where I begin to understand the cause-effect relationships that have led us toward the wonderful and vicious, beautiful and horrible experiences we collectively face day to day, now.

Within that massive base of knowledge, there are individuals. I think about my grandmothers, and the disparate lives they led that somehow, miraculously came together to create me. One of them lived through the majority of the 20th century in America, and while I knew her as a teenager, I never got to know her as an adult, when I could have really asked the questions I now want to, about her life and the things she personally witnessed within the history that I know so well in terms of dates, facts and situations. My other grandmother lived her whole life in West Africa, a place that I am connected to, but know less intimately. There's a wisdom there that is somewhat outside my grasp, but I long for a taste of it.

So, I read lots of books, and look at lots of pictures, and try to imagine what I can about these women, and the many like them whose lives and work set the stage for my own world. I feel that I'm still looking for the truth of those experiences, and I don't know if we today can ever really touch it, but it's nice to believe we might be able to come close.

Friday Forum: Rock 'til It Drops

New Year's Eve is only a week away, and everyone is trying to pin down their plans.

Have you made any plans for watching the ball drop -- dinner with family, a party with friends? How will you ring in the new year?

Happy Holidays!

From everyone here at The Women's Mosaic and CHICKS ROCK!, we wish you a happy and safe holiday season. Enjoy the time with your friends and family!

The Power of Non-Verbal Communication*

The following was originally posted on February 24, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Holiday series:

I have known for some time now that understanding non-verbal communication is essential when it comes to human relationships. Many of my family members in India do not speak English very well (or at all) and I do not know much of my parents' native language, so it has been difficult to communicate with them. Regardless of the language barrier, I manage to keep my powers of perception as open as possible, because when speaking is difficult or impossible, simple actions like facial expressions or body language become very important when determining what another person is thinking or feeling at any particular moment.

Even when language is not a barrier, I still try to be perceptive in non-verbal communication. In many previous work and academic environments, I learned the hard way not to always believe what was promised or told to me at face value. I specifically remember a former employer trying to make conversation with me in a conference room before a meeting, and realizing for the first time that she did not like me at all. This became blatantly clear just before I left the position to attend graduate school full-time. I caught her in a lie about my job performance, and knew it was time to leave. I also remembered how she was on that day before the meeting, and other experiences that occurred afterward that really made everything clear.

Ever since this incident, I used my powers of perception to understand what people think. My observations are not always correct, but I have been more right than wrong when it comes to non-verbal communication.

Do you agree with my assessment? Why or why not?

Dealing With Disappointment*

The following was originally posted on January 19, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Holiday series.

I’m not exactly an eternal optimist, but I try to stay positive as much as I can. Sometimes it’s harder to do that than usual, and lately I guess it’s been one of those times. It seems that lately, I work hard towards something and then it doesn’t go as expected. Suddenly, I’m wishing I could take back all the hours I spent focusing on that one task. I’m left wondering how I can now find extra hours to work on all the other things I have on my plate moving forward. If only there were more hours in the day so I could finish everything I have going on.

But… this isn’t a lesson in time management. Really, I focus on how I’m managing my time to distract me from what’s really going on here: disappointment.

The fact is that if these things had worked out, I would be proud about all the time I dedicated. Now that they haven’t, I am disappointed. I am constantly working on multiple projects at the same time, and more often than not, they all work out. When you’re a multi-tasking perfectionist, you don’t really have to deal with failure very often. This isn’t to sound cocky, it’s just true.

Normally, when something doesn’t go as expected, I regroup and think about what steps I can take to get things back on track. And normally, that works. But what happens when there’s no way to get it back on track? When there’s nothing you can do about it? I suppose the best thing to do is to forget about it: put it aside and focus on the other things I need to get done. Yet I can’t help but think that I’m not acknowledging my feelings in all of this.

That’s where I’m at now: figuring out how to deal with the actual feeling of disappointment when things are no longer in my control. Moving on to other tasks is easy for me; it’s what I’m good at. Dealing with the emotions involved, however, is unfamiliar territory.

How do you deal with disappointment?

As Resilient As Glass*

The following was originally posted on August 2, 2010. It is being re-posted as part of our CHICKS ROCK! Holiday series:

I visited a glassworks in Louisville, Kentucky, earlier this summer, where you could sit and peer through a huge picture window into the active glassblowing studio. I sat for over an hour and watched an artist and his assistants sweat over a single vase, thrusting the glob of red-hot, molten glass in and out of the flames, pinching and turning and shaping and blowing it just so with each extraction. Fascinating.

In the time I watched, the artist drew the vase in and out of the fire once every minute or two, working it, studying it, and finally he held it up for a long inspection. I thought he was finished, he had paused so long, but then he shook his head and slammed it back in, allowing it to lose its shape entirely. He drew out the pulpy mass and started over, scrapping an hour's work, at least. Not angry, just matter-of-fact. You could see it in the set of his shoulders. Not bad, but I can do better.

The heat must have been unbearable. I felt pain for him, as he destroyed his work and started again, but his attitude about it gave me inspiration and hope. Because things don't always go as we plan, the first time. And if you don't give up, there are better things on the horizon. It's as true in life as it is in art, whether it be glassblowing or writing, which is my own stock-in-trade.

Attached to the studio there was a shop and museum of handblown glassware and glass art. I fell in love with about a dozen amazing works of art. In the end, I wasn't able to afford anything in the whole shop, apart from the trinkets at the checkout. I bought a small disk of pale blond-colored glass, swirled with strands of copper and gold, etched with the words SCRIBE DEEP.

It's small--about the size of a half dollar, only thicker, like a Nilla wafer--but it's quickly becoming a favorite touchstone for me in my writing life. A reminder that it isn't enough to go through the motions, but that I have to dig to find what's important. And, that it's okay sometimes to scrap a project and start it over, when I know I can do better. It's not the same as giving up, when the raw material (or, in my case, the idea) is still alive in the flames, ready to be drawn out and made into something beautiful.

Friday Forum: Winter Blues

Last week we asked what you loved the most about winter, but some of us don't love anything about it at all!

What are some of the things you hate about winter? Is it the mess, the temperature, or perhaps the chaotic holiday travel season?

Holiday Break at CHICKS ROCK!

We're nearing the end of 2010, and just as many of you are getting ready for the time with your family and friends, we here at CHICKS ROCK! are doing the same. But, never fear, as we've done these past couple of years, we'll be reposting some of our favorite posts from the past year for the next couple of weeks.

Look back with us on some of the things we've experienced this year, and take a little time to reflect on your own ups and downs.

We hope you enjoy it! And in the meantime, you can keep on shopping through TWM's Holiday Bazaar.

Email Communication Vacation

This holiday season, I plan to take a nice long break from checking my work-related emails. This is harder than it sounds, especially since I do most of my work from my laptop anywhere I happen to be. My hours are often long, and can extend into the weekends. I am often on the road, off to meetings with clients and associates who need a great deal of information, so I must always be prepared. That is why I made a conscious decision to step away from my work email completely during my seventeen days out of the office.

In previous positions I have had, I was always tempted to check work email if I had access to it after a few days. Since I am fortunate enough to have more time off, I decided to disconnect from my work-related duties completely for a little more than two weeks to reflect on the year that has passed, plan a little for the year to come, and to reconnect with family and friends. Yes, I need more than just thinking of a few New Year’s Resolutions the day before the year end.

A part of me would like to avoid personal emails completely during this period, but that would not be possible for me due to familial and friendship obligations. I see myself just checking once a day, or once every other day, just to see if I can. Perhaps when I have another vacation in the future, I can retreat from my personal emails completely too, but it seems too radical a concept for me at this time.

We are all so connected to each other via the web, but not so much in person; the Internet is our substitute for most communications these days. When there is no Internet access, we often find ourselves lost if we do not turn on our computers, laptops and/or phones to see what is going on. I look forward to transforming any lost feelings I may have into those of freedom from “the machine.”

Would you ever take a break from email?

A Hairy Situation

As I mentioned last week, this year hasn't been the absolute best. I've always wondered what exactly motivates people to drastically change their look, and then I got the urge to do it myself. I suppose it's not completely drastic... I didn't, for example, tattoo and/or pierce my entire body or have plastic surgery or anything like that. But I did chop off my hair. Oh, and I got purple streaks put in it.

I haven't had hair this short since the 5th grade and I haven't had any color in it since high school, so it's definitely a change. A lot of my friends are shocked that it's so short (it's at about chin level) because I'm generally known for having my hair at least medium length, if not longer. I've gotten comments from strangers telling me how cool my purple hair looks and asking me how and where I got it done. The fun thing about the color is that depending on the lighting, it can be subtle and only look a shade different from my black hair, or it can look like my head's on fire with bright purple flames. At least it keeps people guessing.

It's interesting how changing something about your appearance helps you take on a new attitude. I feel ready for 2011 and whatever it throws my way. I'm not sure if I'll keep my hair this way once it starts to grow out, but it's been a lot of fun so far. If nothing else, it's been a great conversation piece when meeting people.

Have you ever changed your appearance to change your outlook?

Drinking Diaries, Holiday Style

I've got my tree. I've made my plans, but I'm not quite feeling the holiday spirit yet. However, I do find that the holiday spirits are flowing freely. It's that time of year--attending holiday parties, stocking up on wine for Christmas dinner, making New Year's Eve plans, chilling champagne. The time has nearly come to roll out the rum-laced egg nog and hide the car keys.

As far as my personal plans go, this is an exaggeration--my family are not big drinkers--but I find that the longer I live away from home, the more I've become aware of other people's holiday traditions--many of which center on imbibing festive beverages of all sorts. I admit I feel a certain romantic envy for that kind of holiday--boozing it up in front of a roaring fire, surrounded by people you love, eating and drinking until you can barely move for being so comfortable and sated.

I know that the rosy picture in my mind isn't always how things shape up. For all the lovely stories people tell, I've heard as many friends describe hurtful encounters involving tipsy slips of the tongue, inebriated arguments, or a feeling of needing to be three sheets to the wind to even get through all the wonderful family togetherness. Not very romantic.

There's a special holiday post series over at the blog Drinking Diaries, which I'm really enjoying, and would like to share with you. The basic premise of the site comes as no surprise: many women have a complicated relationship with alcohol, in our own lives as well as through our families and friends. Every Monday during this season, women post about their holiday drinking experiences:

• Ann Hood writes about cherishing her family's holiday punch bowl.
• Tara T. Handron talks about gratitude.
• Helene Stapinski shares her alternative New Year's Eve plans.

Each of these pieces struck a chord with me, and I suspect that no matter where you fall on the spectrum (non-drinker, casual sipper, holiday lush), there's something there for you, too.

Friday Forum: Wonderful Winter

Even though some places are lucky enough to stay warm during this time of year, many of us are bundled up. But it's not all bad and, for some, it's their favorite time of year.

What do you love most about the winter? Is it the snow, the hot chocolate, or perhaps the twinkling lights?

TWM Celebrates the Holiday

The Women's Mosaic is feeling the holiday spirit and getting you ready for all of your shopping needs with the TWM Holiday Bazaar.

This is TWM's second year highlighting women-owned and friendly businesses to help you find unique gifts for yourself and the ones you love. New vendors will be added in each of the next three email blasts, so shop around and if you want to be a vendor for the bazaar, be sure to get in touch ASAP by emailing info@thewomensmosaic.org.

And while we're mentioning TWM, be sure to mark your calendars for the next Visioning Workshop. While the workshops are usually held in the fall and spring, due to popular demand, there will also be a winter one this time around. So clear your plans for Saturday, February 5, 2011.

Stay tuned for more details about the Visioning Workshop and for a shopping day here on CHICKS ROCK! highlighting the Holiday Bazaar.

Avoiding Holiday Excess

The Christmas holiday tends to mean busier stores, holiday decorations, more traffic, and general excess these days. The materialism of the holiday season makes many, including myself, very wary. When I started receiving and onslaught of mail about Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales, I began preparing myself for the inevitable. But just when I entered into one store in the mall two weeks before Thanksgiving and heard uninspired, recycled holiday music, I left sooner than I expected because it was too much. Before I did, one of the employees told me that he has had to hear the same soundtrack since the beginning of November, I couldn’t help but tell him I felt sorry for him; he accepted my pity with a tired laugh and a shrug.

It’s not a “bah humbug” feeling that I have about the holidays; I like giving and receiving cards and pretty decorations as much as the next person. It’s just during these difficult times when people are looking for work, or are working but can’t afford to keep up with their family, friends, and neighbors in their spending habits during the holiday season that makes me annoyed. At the same time, I know many of us have changed for the better after the lessons we have learned since the recession first hit in late 2008. Many people I know have limited their gift giving or changed what and the way they give to the people in their lives. I know it has more to do with being economical, but it also much more manageable to do it that way. I will be mailing out and hand delivering some holiday cards, sending online greetings to everyone else, and buying just a few, well thought out gifts for those closest to me. This is not because I feel like I must do so because all the commercials tell me I should; it is because I want to.

How do you combat the materialism of the holiday season?

Saying Goodbye to 2010

This year has been a very strange one for me and a few of my closest friends. There have been some great times, but also a lot of sadness, loss, and general discontent. We're all fairly happy that the year is coming to an end, and looking forward to what will hopefully be a better 2011.

At work, I'm sometimes thinking several weeks ahead, so I already had New Year's resolutions on my mind. I've been thinking about how often people forget about their resolutions or fail completely, and I am pleasantly surprised that mine worked out okay. As you might remember, I wanted to make a series of more short-term goals to make mini-resolutions that I could hold myself accountable for. My resolutions were: getting fit & being healthier, getting my finances in order, reconnecting with people I love, and traveling more.

Without even trying all that hard, I've traveled quite a bit this year, often with people I really love. I've gotten closer to my sisters, my mothers, and a few friends, not to mention that I've gotten back in touch with a couple of friends I hadn't spoken to in a while. Between hot yoga, a ballet workshop, and running, I'm much more fit now than I was at this time last year (plus, my legs look great, which was an added bonus). And while I haven't completely sorted out my finances, I have a much better grasp on them than I have in a very long time.

For 2011, I might try this approach again, but I've also been wondering if it'd be even better to share a resolution with a group of friends. If 3 or 4 of us all have the same resolution (or a set of mini-resolutions), then there's an instant support system for all of us to succeed. I'm going to think about it more and propose it soon to see if we can't make 2011 a rockin' year and forget all about 2010.

Did you start thinking about your 2011 resolutions yet? Have you ever shared a resolution with a group of friends?

Two Truths and a Lie

Let's see...I'm a published author. I'm bi-racial (white mother, black father). I've never traveled outside the United States.

Two of these statements are true about me, and one is a lie. If you read the blog regularly, you'll know right away which is the lie. But if you've never met me or read my posts, it might be harder to tell. (I'll save you the suspense--I went to Greece last year and Zambia the year before that.)

"Two Truths and A Lie" is a common icebreaker game, used to help people who are meeting for the first time to get to know one another. I'm thinking about icebreakers today because soon I'm going to be leading a group of new students through a few of these exercises. I personally enjoy icebreakers, but I know lots of people who utterly despise them.

I've observed that outgoing people often find icebreakers cheesy, forced and restrictive. But I spent years as the quiet wallflower type, who wanted to talk to new people, but didn't always know how to go about it. Icebreakers offered a space and permission to engage people and it made everything that came after much easier. I've since become much more comfortable in new, awkward social settings than I used to be. So for me, maybe the structure of icebreakers is no longer necessary. But I find myself wondering, what about those who are still helped by it?

The best icebreakers, for me, require people to talk to each other and to share personal--but not too personal--details with others. Favorite color, alma mater, number of siblings, and so on. These small talking points do open unexpected avenues of connection and conversation. Which is why I'm bothered that the first game that came to my mind is "Two Truths and a Lie," which is my least favorite icebreaker. Why? Because it seems contrary to the whole point of getting to know people if you're going to start off by having to sort through false information.

I'm open to suggestions for other, better icebreakers! Have you played these games? Do you love 'em or hate 'em?

Friday Forum: Holiday Cheer

With Thanksgiving behind us and Hanukkah already upon us, the holiday season is in full swing.

Do you celebrate any holidays between Thanksgiving and New Year's? If you don't, do you still feel the holiday cheer?

Link Love for 12/2

As we gear up for December, some of the sites we love are busy churning away awesome posts. Take a look at what we've been reading online:

Awaken Your CAREERpreneur offers tips for getting people to reach their full potential in school or at work.

Girl w/Pen takes a look at the race & gender problems that still exist in the latest Disney princess movie, Tangled.

Meanwhile, Woodhull Institute's blog examines Disney's announcement that there'd be no more fairy tale movies (aka, movies for girls).

One Writeous Chick writes about the good and the bad that comes with curling up into a ball for a break from the world.

Savvy Ladies wants us to get through the holiday season with the 12 days of Christmas, personal finance edition.

What have you been reading and writing? Be sure to leave a link in the comments.

Great Travel Expectations

Americans should have more than two weeks (on average) of vacation time every year. I think most of us would agree with that statement! I could never be satisfied with such a limited time to travel; and I know many of us don’t even use our vacation time to travel to somewhere new or not new; “staycations” have become the norm because of shrinking budgets and lost jobs.

As a consultant making a little money, I can now make time to travel this winter, something I have been wanting to do again since my trip to India earlier this year. I am one of those people that need to go somewhere new, whether it be just an hour away or on the other side of the world. Some people envy others because of their relationship status, how much money they make, what car they drive…but me? I get a little envious of those who have seen places I have only dreamed and read about.

My upcoming travel plans include my sister’s destination wedding in Puerto Rico and a holiday getaway this month, an after wedding party in my new brother-in-law’s home state of Georgia in January, and Ireland for St. Patrick’s Day in March. It makes the winter less overbearing in my thoughts, because I have different trips to look forward to. This is definitely not the norm for me, but I want it to be! I can be equally excited about vacations that take place very close to home, such as day trips or weekend getaways that don’t require air travel. Bottom line, I believe that life should be enjoyed each day we have it. I don’t want to look back on my life (if I am lucky to live long enough) and have major regrets about not taking chances or traveling as much as I would have liked.

Where would you go if you had more vacation time?

Airline Annoyance

Sally is traveling and held up on her way back from the holidays, but you can read her recent posts here until she gets situated again.

Give A Gift, Be An Ally

Time is flying quickly. Thanksgiving has passed and the end-of-year holidays will be here before we know it. Even though I'm personally trying not to "deal" with the holidays just yet, I'm reminded that this is a time of year when a lot of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people choose to come out to their family or friends for the first time. I want to use my few paragraphs here today to celebrate that fact, but also to offer a bit of advice and a few resources to those who may unexpectedly find themselves in the position of being an ally this holiday season.

Make no mistake: to be an ally and supporter to an "out" person is a valuable gift--one that no monetary purchase can ever hope to equal. I believe that the simple words "I love you" and "I support you" can go a long way toward making someone feel at ease to be themselves around you. Don't underestimate how important such a simple and FREE offering can be.

The news lately has been peppered with stories of young people who've fallen so far from a feeling of acceptance that they've resorted to taking their own lives because of bullying or fear related to being gay, bi or trans. Each and every one of these stories breaks my heart. I want to do my part to stop these tragedies from occurring, because I believe every person, regardless of his/her sexuality, is special and beautiful and has meaning in the world.

I've considered myself an ally for many years now, and I've struggled with sexuality in my own ways, and in the midst of that I've learned a few simple tricks allies can employ that might help people feel comfortable to "come out" to you:

• Consider using gender-neutral language as much as possible when talking about romantic relationships (i.e. substitute "partner" for "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," even when you know the sex/gender of the person you're referring to)
• Along the same lines, ask broadly-definable questions (i.e., "Are you seeing anyone?" as opposed to "Met any nice guys lately?" or "Do you have a girlfriend?"
• When appropriate, make reference to your support of issues like same-sex marriage, ordination of gay clergy, anti-bullying, or your beliefs on equality, sexuality or human rights. Alternately, be open-minded and willing to engage different opinions even when expressing opposition to or questions about such issues.
• Honesty is important: if you can speak about your own struggles, and express your own questions and doubts, other people will respond in kind.

Also, here are some organizations and quick-link resources for people who are or wish to become allies:

• Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD)'s ally page helps us understand "How to be an Ally and a Friend."
• Human Rights Campaign (HRC) introduces ways to remain politically active on issues affecting LGBTQ communities.
• Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) offers support, resorces and activism opportunities for families and allies.
• Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) provides information and resources to create safe schools and to fight bullying.

Do you know of other resources for allies? Have you had any experience being an ally, or drawing on the support of allies? What has been helpful for you?

Friday Forum: Get Your Shop On

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and since we already covered what we're thankful for this year, why not have a bit of fun on Black Friday and talk about what we're buying this year.

Do you usually shop on Black Friday? If so, what sales were you looking forward to this year? If not, what makes you avoid this major shopping day?

Thank the Turkeys, Too!

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.


Whenever the fourth Thursday in November rolls around, we are meant to reflect on all the blessings in our lives. Traditionally that would imply appreciating all that is good or positive and bring us joy and happiness or that we could not live without. While that is certainly warranted, why not also be grateful for the funky, not-so-positive, annoying and pain-in-the-you-know-where stuff as well: the people, things and situations that challenge us, push our buttons or make us feel uncomfortable.

There is a saying that “There are no problems, only opportunities.” Our crises and difficulties are chances for us to test our mettle, see what we’re made of, and to become stronger and wiser for it. They are occasions for us to make course corrections, adjustments, tune-ups and put ourselves back in balance or on track, or perhaps a different, better track. If things went great all the time you wouldn’t have to dig deep, really look at yourself, search within for answers, find new creative ways of doing things. Innovation is problem solving at its most basic level (just watch those Dyson commercials), so where would we be without all the problems we’ve had?

Whether unemployed, having a health crisis or trouble in your personal or professional relationships, take a step back and see what is the Universe trying to show/teach you? Remember those carbon atoms wouldn’t become diamonds without extreme high pressure and heat.

So this year, be thankful not only for the bird that you are about to eat (or tofurkey if that is more your style) but for all those ‘turkeys’ in your life: those folks and circumstances that have given you stress and grief but allowed you to go through and overcome whatever you needed to in order to grow and become the person that you are today. And if you need a little help seeing how the cr*p in your life is really cool, give me a buzz and we’ll figure out what should be basted and tasted, and what is simply a little fat that needs to be trimmed. Happy Thanksgiving!

Saying No to Holiday Overeating

For most Thanksgiving-enthusiasts, turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and all other the traditional fare associated with the day are eagerly anticipated. I myself like some of those dishes, but the turkey and gravy are definitely out; as a pesco-vegetarian since my teens, I have always looked for satisfying alternatives to feast on every year. I am also thankful that I won’t be going to anyone else’s home for Thanksgiving dinner, because I always feel a little bad when I have to explain that I don’t eat red meat, poultry or pork, and the majority of the meal is based on one, some or all of these proteins. Now I am even more health conscious, so portion control is essential for me. So no seconds or thirds of pumpkin, apple, and pecan pie for me!

I am grateful to live in a time when eating sensibly is encouraged, even on Thanksgiving. I remember as a kid being practically force fed extra servings of turkey and mashed potatoes and almost passing out from a “food coma” after the meal was finished. As an adult, I have the power to say no, nicely, and to eat what will suit me. This year, I will dine on salmon, brussel sprouts, mashed sweet potatoes, and perhaps some other vegetable dish and a little pie, AND I will be eating early that day so I can recover and work out later. I know this is a day of thanks, but overeating is not the way to celebrate that, in my view.

More power to all of you who are going all out for Thanksgiving! I personally find that eating well without overeating is the key to surviving the day. I also realize that I am lucky that I can say no, because many will be pressured into eating more than they should by well-meaning relatives and friends.

How will you be handling your dining situation this Thanksgiving?

Dear Abby, I Mean Sally

Something I've always been generally good at is giving advice. I'm really good at listening to people, laying out their options as I see them, and letting them know what I would do in the situation without making it seem like I'm forcing them into that decision.

For a while, it seemed that people were fine getting along without me, but lately I've noticed that people are constantly coming to me with their problems. Even when they're not, what starts as a casual conversation sometimes turns into something heavier: they bare their souls and I reassure them that their feelings are valid and give them guidance about what to do.

Last night, for example, a friend and I were chatting to catch up and talk about holiday plans. It had only been a week since the last time we spoke, so it should've been a 10-minute conversation. Instead, we were on the phone for an hour talking about insecurities, jealousy, relationships, and other random things on his mind.

Now, it's not that I'm complaining, I just find it interesting that after all this time, people still come to me for advice -- even on things that I haven't lived through and even people who are much older than me. And I suppose the fact that so many people feel comfortable coming to me with any problem shows what a good friend I am.

But maybe I'll start thinking twice about the timing of my phone calls and friend dates, because they sure do take longer than I plan.

Do you have a friend that everyone goes to for advice, or are you that friend?

A Wednesday of Women's Work

We all wrote a bit about Thanksgiving last week, so when I sat down to write this post, I was thinking of shifting the topic to something else that's holiday related. But I've got to buy my turkey today, so the big bird's still on my mind. It occurs to me now, that it's probably on a lot of people's minds 2around the country--especially women.

My mom tells me that every year on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (back when she made the meal, before I took over), as she hurried around making preparations for the big day, she felt a special kinship with the millions of other women who were no doubt scurrying around their own kitchens making similar preparations. It reminded her, she says, of the importance of women's work, and the grand scope of women's contribution. For me now, hearing her say this, it both puts me in awe of what women accomplish in our day-to-day lives, and how often the nature of that work falls out of sight behind-the-scenes.

In this day and age, there are surely a lot of men who prepare turkeys, too, for family and friends, but my mom and I would like to raise a glass (or a wing) to all the moms, step-moms, moms-in-law, grandmas, sisters, aunts, nieces, close friends, and other powerhouse ladies out there who are hard at work this week to create a special moment for their families. We're thankful for their time, energy and presence in these Thanksgiving celebrations!

Who are the women in your life who you're thankful for?

Friday Forum: Thanks for 2010

It's Thanksgiving next week, so it's about time for all of us to start thinking about what we're thankful for this year.

Aside from the usual things we're thankful for every year, what is something that happened in your life this year in particular that you're thankful for?

Perhaps you met somebody who has changed your life for the better, or something you've struggled with has taken a turn for the better. Let us know in the comments!

Link Love for 11/18

You know how much we like showing some link love to our favorite sites. See some of what we've been reading so far this month.

Awaken Your CAREERpreneur has some advice for the workplace that'll help you shine for your boss.

Girl w/Pen considers how science and education are made girly and just what effect that has on girls.

Global Sister posted an interesting paper on civil society participation that was presented to the Head of UN Women.

In Good Company shared an experience of having a business copycat that can also apply to many of us with a public persona.

NYWSE showcased a woman who is helping build communities through microfinance and volunteer partnerships.

One Writeous Chick reminds us to keep believing in ourselves when things aren't looking so good.

What have you been reading and writing on the web? Be sure to leave links in the comments.

A Thanksgiving State of Mind

I really am grateful for my life. I know it sounds cliché to say this, but when I hear stories of young men and women attempting to commit suicide and even succeeding in doing so, I am reminded of how precious being alive is. While the Thanksgiving season is the time most people start thinking about being thankful and grateful for what they have, I am convinced that we should not pull out our gratitude just once or several times a year.

Why am I bringing this up? It seems that as the holidays come closer, I am confronted with more reports of suicides and other tragedies that don’t make always make the news. As the daughter of a medical professional, I often hear stories about people of all ages who try and sometimes succeed in bringing on death. I recently heard about a young man whose suicide attempt has left him comatose on a life support machine; I am moved when I hear about families finding their loved ones in such terrible situations and not being able to cope with the aftermath. Now that stories like these are so commonplace, we take for granted that despair claims victims all around us on a daily basis. Knowing this makes me even more grateful that I never felt driven to anything this drastic; no matter how troublesome life can be, it has never been that bad.

Tragedies like these also make me think about how death comes to everyone, no matter who they are. Some choose to make it happen, others go about their lives until they end suddenly, and then there those who know they are dying and have time to come to terms with it. However it happens for me, I will continue to smile at something or someone everyday, no matter how difficult life can get. Thanksgiving is a great holiday, but it does only come once a year; we should have a “Thanksgiving” moments on a daily basis to remind us how blessed we are to have one more day on this Earth.

An Unconventional Thanksgiving

It’s funny that Kekla wrote about her holiday plans yesterday, because I just finalized my Thanksgiving plans and was thinking about how different my plans are this year.

Just like most people, I spent my holidays with my family. Once I had moved away from home for good, the struggle was deciding whether to spend each holiday with my family, my guy’s family, or somehow split the day to see both. As I wrote about before, this was always rather stressful but it did get me used to spending the holidays elsewhere.

This year, my guy and I are no longer together, so that wasn’t really an issue, but I realized that I didn’t want to spend Thanksgiving at home. I’m not exactly sure why, but I felt a pull to do something completely different, and to perhaps start thinking about forming my own traditions.

After a visit from a very good friend who I hadn’t seen in years, we got to talking about spending Thanksgiving together and I immediately loved the idea. We thought about renting a cabin and cooking dinner ourselves, but ultimately we decided we’d do something unexpected and fly on out to San Francisco. I’ve never been to San Francisco and I’ve wanted a change of scenery since breaking up with my guy. Combine that with the fact that I’d look for any excuse to spend some quality time with my friend, I was sold.

So this year I’m having a rather unconventional Thanksgiving, but I’m feeling really good about it. I’m not really any closer to figuring out how I’ll spend my holidays in the future, but if they all involve a trip to a new place and time with great friends, I’m up for it.

Holiday Habits

Last week's Friday Forum topic got me thinking about my plans for the upcoming holidays. My preference tends toward a simple, classic version of the year-end festivities. When I think about Christmas, in particular, I think about spending time with my family. It evokes images of traveling home and sleeping in my childhood bed, putting up a tree in the living room, getting to drive and ride in the car a lot (a relative rarity for an NYC-dweller), and cooking in my mom's enormous (again, relative to NYC) kitchen.

I've always known there would come a point when my holiday traditions would begin to evolve. They've already evolved somewhat. For several years in the past, instead of traveling home to the Midwest, I've hosted Thanksgiving in my own apartment, for family and friends. I managed this transition rather seamlessly. Sometimes it's nice not to travel and, for better or worse, I get the leftovers all to myself.

The prospect of changing Christmas plans, however, seems a bit more daunting. I count myself very lucky that no life events have disrupted my Yuletide traditions up until now. Every December for a decade I've wondered if this would be the year, but it turns out that it's going to be 2010 that finally breaks a lifelong tradition: I won't be going home for Christmas.

I tell myself that the element of being with family and friends is the most important thing, and I'm still going to get to do that. I'll buy a tree and decorations, heat hot chocolate, and savor the festive, wintry vibe of the city. Still, I can't help but wonder if it'll feel like the same holiday this year.

I'll let you know on the flip side!

Friday Forum: Traditions, Old & New

As the holiday season gets closer, some people know exactly what they're doing while others are trying to figure out if they should try something new this year.

What are some holiday traditions you carry out every year? What are some new traditions you're hoping to start, whether it's with a new family, your friends, etc.?

Jungle Love

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.



The latest casualties in celebrity breakups - Courtney Cox & David Arquette, Christina Aguilera & Jordan Bratman, Ben Harper & Laura Dern, to name a few - remind us that although things may look bright and shiny on the outside, there is trouble in paradise.

Whether you have the paparazzi spotlight on you or not, this is the area of life we are most often challenged in, even if we excel at everything else. Because when it comes to relationships, it's a jungle out there. Having realistic expectations of what we want and how to go about getting it is the key to navigating that often hostile and confusing environment.

The jungle image conjures up virgin territories, poisonous plants and camouflaged predators. But the reality is that it can also contain a myriad of medicinal cures and infinite beauty and diversity - a place of healing, discovery and wonder.

Just like the mighty forest of the Amazon, we each contain secrets and gems within us. It might first take wielding a machete to clear away the brush before getting to a place where you can see the light of day, and your partner in that light. It takes work - honest communication and emotional elbow grease - to get to that place where you are totally naked to just be, without the distractions, bells and whistles or ability to hide in the denseness of all that surrounds you. That is the place where relationships must exist; all the rest is gravy.

If and when you get to that stripped down place and can't embrace yourself, it will be much harder for your partner to. But if you have already unearthed all your hidden, not so nice parts, and love and accept them unconditionally while trying to improve them, then you can enter into a relationship truly whole and ready to give to another in the same way.

So whether you are traveling solo, have a 'plus one', or are not quite sure what your status is in this expedition called life, give me a buzz and I will help lead you out of the heart of darkness and into the bright city lights.

Whitewashing Dilemma

I never understand why people want to whitewash history. That was what I first thought when I heard about George W. Bush’s publicity tour to promote his new memoir. Since leaving office, he has lived quietly away from the spotlight until now. I remember how different things were before and now after his presidency, and I can honestly say that things were pretty grim during those long eight years.

At the same time, it is far too easy to cast all the blame on Bush entirely. He was the figure head of a large, crumbling administration, as well as the country as a whole. He had other branches of the government to contend with too, which is understandable. Still, people in the media want to either revere him as a powerful former President who helped spread democracy in the Muslim world, or demonize him for entering into war with Iraq. It is too easy to choose one side or the other, but it is wrong to do so.

When you see the world in purely “black and white,” you lose out on many truths. Still, I don’t believe that someone like Hitler should be sympathized with in this or any other way. I feel fortunate that I surround myself with people who are and have made time to present themselves for who they really are, warts and all.

I also don’t like it when people claim to be close with a deceased person, when they were not. Respect for someone who is passed is essential of course, but I feel uncomfortable seeing people mourning for those deceased persons they barely knew or spoke to. Whitewashing the memories of others can be detrimental to everyone concerned; trashing someone through and through is also a bothersome extreme. Therefore, taking the middle ground is always best, at least from my own view.

Do you agree that whitewashing anything or anyone (dead or alive) is a bad idea? Why or why not?

Becoming an (e)Bookworm

For as long as there have been eReaders, everyone’s been asking me if and when I'm getting one. Everyone knows I'm a huge bookworm and that I love technology, you put the two together and I’m in heaven. It's true that I've been slightly obsessed with news about the eReader wars for over a year now, but I wasn't quick to jump on the bandwagon to go out and get one.

I've never been against eReaders, but I wanted everything to settle down first so I could pick the right one. For a while there, rumors constantly surfaced about a new eReader that did everything but the dishes. Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Sony, etc. were constantly talked about... and I listened closely to every word.

Now that the dust has settled and most of the big players have released their eReaders, I've been paying even more attention (if that's possible) to what each one has to offer and which one I want. Yes, after years of putting it off, I'm finally ready to commit. Admittedly, I've been reading eBooks ever since I got an iPhone, even though I didn't actually buy my first contemporary eBook until a few days ago when I realized I couldn't wait any longer to borrow my friend's copy of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. At any rate, having an actual eReader is a whole new world.

I won't stop buying regular books, regardless of what people seem to think having an eReader means. Some books are just better and easier to absorb when you can write on the margins, highlight to your heart's content, underline, circle, and make the book yours. Then there's the fact that not every book has an eBook version, and I'm fine with that too.

So which one do I want? I haven’t completely made up my mind yet, but when I do, I know it’ll be the best one for me.

Have any of you fellow bookworms out there made the switch to an eReader yet? Which do you have and what do you love about it?

Catch Up With Kekla

Unfortunately, Kekla's out today, so there won't be a new post. But this is actually a great chance for you to read back over some of her other posts. Happy reading!

Friday Forum: Getting Engaged

This week's elections had the entire country's attention and it seemed everywhere you went and every channel you turned to had some mention of it. It's always great to see citizens so engaged, and it got us thinking about our own civic engagement.

What are some things you do to stay active and engaged? Whether it's voting every year, keeping others informed, or playing a role in your community board, what do you do to stay involved?

Share Your Journey

It's been a while since we've heard from you all and we think it's about time you send some more guest blogger posts our way.

Remember that you can write about an almost endless variety of things: a new job, an old relationship, a recent life lesson you learned, your culture, your mentor or mentee, and so much more. If it's from your personal experience and shares experiences of diversity, empowerment or personal growth, we want you to share your journey!

So check out our guest blogger guidelines, read previous guest posts if you need inspiration, and submit your post!

Shower Party Planning

Party planning doesn’t come naturally to me, but I have been learning to do my best when the duty falls in my lap. I am planning my sister’s shower with the help of two of her friends, which makes life a lot easier for me. I helped plan two for friends of mine in the past, but this one is very different; the others were traditional bridal shower affairs, but my sister’s party will be a co-ed couples’ shower. She and her fiance wanted it that way, and we gladly obliged.

Another aspect to this event that we all appreciate is that the shower is potluck; each of us will be bringing food and/or drinks to the venue, which happens to be a friend’s apartment in New York City. When funds are limited, especially during financially difficult times, it should be easy to comprehend why we are doing this. I am glad to be focusing on other aspects of the party, such as games and gifts for guests, instead of planning a menu for several dozen people.

Even with all this planning ahead, I know that things could go wrong: people cancel at the last minute, or guests can bring more people with them, even though each is allowed to bring just one other person, or everyone just brings drinks and no food. All I know that I can do is to go ahead with the planning and prepare to do damage control if needed. It is just a party, after all, and I want to have a little fun during this process.

Do you enjoy party planning, or is it something you let other people take care of?

Election Day 2010 - Get Out & Vote

If you're eligible and registered to vote, be sure to get out there and vote today!

Voting is something that's always been very important to me -- it was the thing I looked forward to the most when I became a U.S. citizen. Because of that, I'm constantly reminding people to vote and encouraging them to educate themselves on the issues and who or what will be on their ballot come Election Day. And today, the day of the all-important midterm elections, I'm doing the same for all of you!

The first thing you need to do is figure out where to vote. Google has set up a function that allows you to look up your poll location and Facebook has a similar feature. You can also search for your Board of Elections and find a poll locator on their website, or at least a number you can call to find out where to go.

To find out what to expect when you get there, you can keep tabs on Election Protection's Twitter account and their #EP2010 hashtag where you can view or report problems at poll locations throughout the country.

Most importantly, to learn more about what will be on your ballot, one of your best resources will be the League of Women Voters' awesome site. You can use it to search for the elections in your area and to find out where some of the candidates stand on the major issues.

That's the scoop on the important things you need to know, so now you have no excuse to stay away from the polls. Voting is one of the best things you can do to take full advantage of your citizenship and your rights as an American. It's one major way to get your voice heard and to be clear about what direction you want the country to go in.

Do you vote on Election Day? If not, what are some of the things that hold you back?

The Curtain Calls

I love going to see live theater performances. But, I find that I don't often enough take the initiative to seek out new shows. Sometimes the cost is prohibitive, especially thinking about Broadway shows, but it doesn't have to be. There are discount ticket services all over the place, not to mention off-broadway and off-off-Broadway options that price themselves lower to begin with. I guess, for me, theater's one of those things that can easily fall out of sight and out of mind. When I'm out of practice, it seems like a big deal to jockey for cheap tickets.

In the past month, I've lucked into several theater-going opportunities at low- or no-cost, and each reminded me how much I appreciate a good show. I feel eager to find something else to see, and I wonder how long I can make the feeling last. It's so easy to get sucked back into work and life, and forget to seek time and space to experience art and allow myself to be surprised, excited, or moved by someone else's creative work.

I enjoy everything about the theater experience--the hushed dark, the little armrests, the sense of everyone staring, breathless, toward the lighted stage, waiting to see how the scene will unfold. For a writer, too, there is infinite value in witnessing storytelling in all the varying forms it can take. The recent reminder of this has inspired me in a lot of ways. I guess I've been bitten once again by the theater bug--I've no desire to perform on stage, but I desperately want to watch. The curtain calls!

Seen any good shows lately?