Tuesday, March 17, 2009

An Extended Trip Down the Aisle

I've been engaged for almost 18 months now, and have made zero progress on wedding plans. It seems that the idea that weddings are really for your family and friends and not for yourself is especially true in my case, because everyone is getting antsy. People bring it up so often now that my guy and I agree that we wish we had never told anybody about our engagement.

My guy and I are very busy people. We barely have time to eat and sleep, let alone plan a wedding. We also aren't very big on the idea of having lavish wedding plans, or spending tons of money on one day, or any other traditional notion of weddings and marriage. We thought at first this would make it easier to plan something, but being unique takes much more time than blindly following the rules laid out in a wedding planning for dummies book.

The thing is, though, that we're completely okay with waiting. Nothing is going to drastically change for us by getting married, so we're not in any rush to have a wedding.

Unfortunately for us, everyone else seems to think it's a huge deal. They're pondering what's taking so long -- Are we commitment-phobic or otherwise freaking out about the idea of getting married? Are we not financially secure enough to afford a wedding? Are we secretly broken up and just don't want to tell anybody? The speculation and constant questioning is driving us up the wall.

We don't want to be rushed into something just to make everyone else happy, but we're also pretty tired of the drama we're creating by not making this enough of a priority in everyone else's eyes.

Does anybody else find that your wedding was more about your guests than your relationship? Did you feel pressure to get it done right away?


Anonymous said...

We tried to have a nice, small ceremony, and once our families got involved it was a guest-pleasing horse-and-pony-show. I didn't even get my own cake.

If I could go back in time, I would NOT have another wedding. I would elope. I'm not kidding. My wedding day was the most unpleasant day of my life - and it was the same for him.

Seriously. Book tickets to Vegas. Drive out to the coast and get a judge and have a brief ceremony on the beach. Don't tell anyone until it's done.

sally said...

Oy, eloping would be so much easier in some ways, but so much more drama in other ways. My guy and I have talked about it, but not very much. I don't know if that's really going to happen.

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