Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Why Can't I Do It Alone?

As I've said in before, I'm currently engaged to a guy I love very much and love spending time with. It's great fun, but sometimes I like doing fun things on my own. So, for the past few weeks, I've been doing more by myself. I've eaten out, gone for walks, and other things I could probably do with somebody else, but just really like doing alone too. Usually, nobody really pays attention to me. I just blend in with the background or they assume I'm waiting for somebody.

The only time this is not the case is when I go to the movies alone. Loud gasps all around, oh the horror! - I know. I go up to the ticket counter and ask for one ticket, get whatever snack I want ("just one, thanks"), and find a seat without worrying if one of them is taken. The first time I went to the movies alone, I thought I was imagining it, but now that I've done it more I'm convinced that some people are really surprised to see me alone.

I once spoke to a single friend of mine who seemed embarrassed at the thought of going to the movies alone. She could do pretty much everything else on her own, but the movies? No way! That's just... weird! Only lonely, old people do that. Even when telling my guy about going to the movies alone, he suddenly acts as if this somehow means I'm lonely and he's neglecting me.

I don't really get it. Is it just me? In college there were a couple of times when I went to the movies on my own. If it was going to be a hassle to coordinate with other people and I really wanted to watch something, I went. Why is it such a big deal, why can't I do it alone?

Does any of you have something you do on your own that people usually do in groups? Do you find that being in a relationship increases that expectation?

2 comments:

Zanade said...

Yes!

I have this ritual I do and no one understands it but me! Ever since last year I have been going to the movies alone! Now this may scare the heck out of some women but for me it is just fine!

It started when I attended a Go Run Training at The White House Project in NYC. They were telling encouraging us to be strong women and go out and conquer the world! I was so empowered that later that day i expressed that as a child I was scared to go out alone and they said that i should appreciate that "alone time" so I forced myself to enjoy a flick w/o anyone there except for the patrons. Ironically enough the movie that was playing was called The Women! And these WOMEN were strong and beautiful and no men were involved; it was a great end to my evening!

So now I make a date with myself every now and then and it feel WONDERFUL!

Zanade

www.twitter.com/zanade

Kekla said...

I like going to the movies alone. Sometimes I even prefer it. I have a few friends that I like to go with regularly, but there are certain movies where I want to be "alone" when I see them, so I can react how I want without worrying if the person I'm with is enjoying him/herself.

It's strange to me that people consider it socially awkward to go the movies by themselves. On one level, I get it, because it feels weird before the movie starts to be sitting there all alone staring at the screen. But on the other hand, enjoying a movie is a pretty solitary affair, once the projector is rolling.

Eating in restaurants alone is where I feel more awkward.







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