My Grandmaternal Inspiration

For me, yesterday was not only the 10th Anniversary of The Women’s Mosaic; it was also the day my maternal grandmother passed away in the 1980s. I have been thinking about how grateful I am to have what I have, since my grandmother was not as fortunate. One of many things she did not have was access to a thriving community of women like The Women’s Mosaic. She is an inspiration to me, and I am proud to be a part of her family tree.

My siblings and I never had a chance to meet my grandmother. My Mother received news that she was gravely ill and had to get enough money together so that the whole family could fly back to India. My family struggled financially for years because my parents financially supported many family members in India, so things like family trips were out of the question. When we were on the plane flying over Europe, she passed away. I have flashes of memory from my first time in India; my Mother weeping in the courtyard of her parents’ home, and me looking up at her and hugging her waist; mosquito bites all over my legs and arms, tall trees laden with tropical fruits, lots of rain, and blurry images of family members I barely knew then, and even now. Later, I started asking my Mother about the woman she was so desperate to see again before her death, but couldn’t. She told me about how difficult village life in Southern India was for her mother, including how she never learned to read and write. Even with the lack of education, she used to help my Mother with her homework, especially mathematics. Apparently she was a natural when it came to figuring out solutions to equations in her head. I wish I had that gift!

My grandmother supported her family in an often socially hostile environment, with very little money. Still, she did an amazing job, and her children and children’s children are proof of this. I honor her life as I celebrate TWM’s 10th Anniversary.

Reconnecting With Friends

When my friend told me about her upcoming trip to California and asked if I wanted to come, I didn't have to think very long before saying yes. Driving along the California coast from LA to San Francisco in the summer? I was in. 

We planned the cities we'd stop at, some of the restaurants we'd try, and the touristy things we'd want to capture pictures of.

The moment of hesitation came later when I realized I hadn't traveled with her since our junior high school trip to Europe. What if she was one of those people who lugged around half their worldly possessions on a trip? What if she was a terrible driver? What if we ran out of things to Talk about? What if we drove each other crazy?

I didn't have anything to worry about, of course. She does carry a whole lot in her luggage, but that wasn't ever a problem. Our eating and sight-seeing preferences were very much in sync and we had a great time along our drive and in the cities. We reminisced on old times, caught up on our current lives, and got to know each other a lot better. In fact, we never really ran out of things to talk about.

We get so caught up in our lives that it's so easy to get disconnected from our friends. We meet up for drinks or grab lunch, but we don't always get to appreciate their friendship. I love when I'm reminded of why I'm friends with someone in the first place.

TWM's Ready to Celebrate

Don't forget that tomorrow is TWM's 10th Anniversary Moroccan Magic Fundraiser! There'll be drinks, food, music, entertainment, and so much more. Check out the latest invite for more details -- can't wait to see you there!

Friday Forum: Summer To Do List

It's hard to believe, but summer is almost halfway over! We start out with a whole list of things we want to do or see -- that outdoor concert, those patio happy hours -- but summer often slips away before we can get to them.

What's on your summer to do list? When will you make the time to get it done?

We've Got You Covered

This post is a bit different from what you might normally find on CHICKS ROCK!, but when we were asked to join "We've Got You Covered," the birth control blog carnival co-hosted by National Women's Law Center and Planned Parenthood, we couldn't say no.

You see, the Department of Health and Human Services will soon be deciding what types of "preventive services" will be made available through the new health insurance plans without a co-pay. That alone is pretty exciting -- but how much better would it be if birth control were one of the preventive services?

Birth control is an integral part of a lot of women's lives. It gives us the power to decide when to start a family, how many children we want to have (if any), and when we want to stop with the family we have. This power never stops being important, whether you're single or married with five children, yet the cost that comes along with this power really adds up. Even those of us who choose other methods of birth control, such as fertility awareness, respect the decision of those who choose other forms. And most of us can agree that the reason better access to birth control isn't a priority in health agendas is because of the stigma that still surrounds birth control and women's sexual health. Well, that needs to change, and this would be a great way to start.

So what can you do to make it easier for women to stay proactive in their sexual health? For them to not have high costs deter them from their right to decide when and how to start a family? You can take action today.

There's a petition you can sign to ask HHS to get rid of co-pays for birth control. Share this post with your friends and urge them to get involved as well, by signing the petition and spreading the word.

The Major Misinterpreter

Have you ever been shocked by someone else’s words? So much so that you initially believed that they mistook you for someone else? Thankfully this is not a common occurrence in my life, but it did happen to me last week. I am luckier than most, because after one more meeting with her later this summer, I will never have to see or deal with this particular individual again. But I have been in long term situations in office environments where difficult people have come at me in different ways. I empathize with any of who have to endure this on a daily basis.

My situation really illustrates how mountains can be made out of molehills. I have been working on a project for a client for several months, and recommended an associate I had previously worked with to be a part of it. Even before the verbal altercation, I picked up an aloofness I had not previously detected. After meeting and exchanging emails this time around, she called to reprimand me for what really was a minor oversight on my part. Without yelling, she threatened to call my supervisor. When I got over the initial shock, which really took just a second, I calmly told her that no offense was meant and I apologized for the misunderstanding.

She then proceeded to tell me that she did not like my perceived “preference” for emails over phone conversations, and actually criticized me for my clients’ actions, which I had no previous knowledge of. I did not apologize for these “offenses,” because she completely misinterpreted them for her own reasons. I only told her where I was coming from and how my clients’ actions in these cases were their own. I think the way I was firm but not argumentative put her at ease; she even made small talk with me after I appeased her. I was pleased with myself after the phone call; it could have gone from bad to worse if I had lost my cool.

How have you dealt with the “major misinterpreters” in your lives?

Mourning More Than Harry Potter

For a lot of us, the last Harry Potter movie marks the end of an era. We grew up with the books and looked forward to each movie, even if it was just to complain that it was nothing like the book. So while saying goodbye to the books was hard enough, knowing that the movies are also behind us now makes it even more final. And, of course, I was right there with a front-row seat (so to speak) at a midnight showing.

The movie itself was entertaining and even though sometimes it felt like they were trying really hard to tie up loose ends, I thought it did the book justice. It did such a good job at that, that I found myself mourning the series in a way I didn't fully do when I finished reading the books. The deaths in the last book were some of the most intense in the series. Add to that a couple of gut-wrenching storylines and you have an emotionally exhausting experience. But because I read the book so quickly, there were things I missed or things I wasn't able to fully take in until later.

But the truth is, it wasn't just about the books or the movies, it was about everything they represented for me and everything that has changed in my life since finishing the books. I moved out of my parents' home soon after finishing the series, got engaged a few months after that, and have since moved four times and broken up with my fiance. I've lost and gained friends, pounds, and incredible memories. And, yes, a lot of those things were running through my head as I watched the final movie and cried my eyes out. (No, really, it was rather embarrassing for my sisters, who had to deal with my best friend and I sobbing.)

I can't help but appreciate everything the series meant to me and how it's still able to touch me in ways I'd never expect it to. It's rather incredible for "some books about a boy wizard," no?

Road Tripping

I'm in Vermont, writing from the road. I'm sure I've posted about this before, but I love traveling by car. I love to drive, love to ride, anything that gets me on the road is good in my book. It's one of my small, weird dreams to finally own a car someday. You really don't need one in New York, so it'll be a long time coming, but when I go out of the city and get to drive, it makes me genuinely hunger for the ability to do it more often.

It's expensive and silly to own a car while I'm living in the city. So, is the idea of owning a car a good enough reason to move my whole life to a place where a personal vehicle is more necessary and practical? Intellectually, I suppose not, but every time I get behind the wheel, I think to myself, YES! IT IS. But there's a little thought in the back of my mind: what if I get sick of it? What if easy access to a car bursts the bubble of my vehicular fantasies? Why do I want this so badly?

As a teen in the Midwest, I wanted a car because driving represented independence, self-sufficiency and freedom from the whims and clutches of my parents. Now, I have all those things in spades. Do I really need a car? No. "But I want one," says the petulant teenager within.

I joke about this desire so often that over time, I've realized it's a genuine dream that I hold. I want a car, despite its impracticality in my current life. How do I deal with something like this? I certainly don't allow myself to indulge every expensive desire I ever have. In fact, I've given up a variety of economically-satisfying and practical trajectories in favor of other, bigger dreams. Should I go after the small ones, too?

How much does the size of your dreams matter when you decide which ones you're going to pursue?

Friday Forum: Do You Believe in Magic?

It's officially over. With the release of the final film, the magical series that captivated millions around the world is now really over. Whether or not you became a fan, the series left its mark on pop culture.

Did you get caught up in the magic of Harry Potter? Are you watching the movie this weekend to say goodbye to the series?

TWM Turns 10... in Style!

We're going from one event to another here at CHICKS ROCK! Thanks so much for supporting TWM's World of Wellness -- we hope you got a lot out of it. Now we're moving on to the major event of the summer: TWM's 10th Anniversary Fundraiser! Check out the details below and be sure to RSVP today.

TWM's 10th Anniversary Moroccan Magic Fundraiser!
Tuesday, July 26 · 6:30pm - 9:00pm

Come on out for an evening to celebrate a decade of TWM's work to educate, inspire and motivate women of every background to rise up and rock the world!

Mix and mingle with friends old and new while honoring the opportunities we've provided throughout the years for women to connect to themselves, each other and the world around them with programs that promote intercultural understanding and personal growth.

Held in a private room at the exotic Katra Lounge, the event includes your first drink, authentic cuisine and music, a belly dance lesson, silent auction and more! Moroccan or Middle Eastern-inspired/Festive attire suggested.

Cost: $65.00 in advance; $75.00 at the door (cash or check only)

Location: Katra Lounge, 217 Bowery Street (at Rivington)

RSVP on Facebook, Meetup, or email sally@thewomensmosaic.org

Goodbye Harry

Now that the release of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2” is approaching, I think back to when the first movie came out. I already loved the books before learning about the initial film, and was slightly skeptical about how the books would come to life in film. Many have never recovered from the Star Wars prequel films (me included) and I went to the movie theater, sat down in a musty chair, and watched “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” with a certain degree of bias. I walked out of the theater realizing that I had just seen a very good movie. Each film got better after that initial release, and all of the same actors stayed with their roles over the years. And now, it has all come to the final film. I just had to mark the occasion with my latest post.

I will always remember the first film, but my absolute favorite has to be “The Goblet of Fire,” which is due to many reasons, one of them being the villain’s depiction for the first time in human (or semi-human) form. As for the books, I have several favorites. For now, “The Deathly Hallows” is the one that I keep going back to. I remember pre-ordering the book months in advance, and choosing the edition with more of the artwork on the cover and a special case. It was only a few dollars extra, but to me it was worth it. When the book was finally released, I got it first thing in the morning on my doorstep and proceeded to devour every word, which took me three days. I dreaded the inevitable last page, but when it came, I found myself thinking how fitting an ending it was for Harry Potter, and wondering how it would work on screen. Soon anyone who wants to know will know on screen.

There are other books I love more of course, but I will always have a special place in my heart for this series. All good things must come to an end.

Internet Woes

Due to some technical difficulties and internet issues, Sally can't post today. Instead, you're welcome to check out her past posts.

Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow

I spent several hours last weekend watching YouTube videos of black women dealing with natural hair. They offered style tutorials, product reviews, and general advice and support for one another other. I studied their advice closely because I've been wanting to try new things with my hair lately. I stumbled upon a New York Times article that sparked a renewed interest for me.

It was a relief to find these videos, because it demonstrated that I'm not alone in my various hair woes, wondering how to manage the texture, the volume, the unruliness of these locks, which I'm convinced could be quite pretty if I could just get a handle on things. It's been a lifelong struggle to get my hair to behave in the way I would like it to, and I haven't really figured it out yet.

Growing up, no one was able to give me adequate advice, because I was raised in a predominantly white community. I had access to a few African women, but it seemed they always wanted to slap in some braids, and while that was always nice and manageable, I wanted more variety. I dreamed of wearing my hair "down." (The caveat there being that my hair doesn't really stay "down.")

I suppose the word I should have been looking toward back then was not "down," but "loose." I wanted to wear my hair loose. Which usually meant, no matter how ideal it looked in the ten minutes after my shower, it would swell as it dried into a virtual 'fro. Granted, some women are very comfortable wearing a cloud of hair bigger than their head. I'm not one of them. I vacillate between thinking it's a matter of comfort and a matter of preference. It bothers me to think I’m so uncomfortable with my hair in its natural state, but when I gear myself up to try it, I realize there are other factors, like not wanting to constantly be pushing it out of my face. So….what’s a girl to do?

Any natural hair ladies out there with brilliant solutions or even just suggestions?

Friday Forum: Change of Plans

You know that feeling when everything's going wrong? You're heading into work and the train breaks down... You get lost for 12 hours on your 10-hour road trip... You're running late for an interview and realize there's a run in your pantyhose.

What do you when suddenly faced with a scenario like this? How do you think quickly and come up with a change of plans?

A Little Help From Non-Friends

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome Elaine as a first-time guest blogger this week as part of TWM's World of Wellness.

Elaine Hamnett worked for years as a public relations executive before seeking a more fulfilling and meaningful path as a coach. She’s now dedicated to empowering people to get the life of their dreams.


I discovered coaching by watching television -- something I do perhaps more than I should, but who knew it could change your life?

Several years ago, coaching guru Rhonda Britten launched the show “Starting Over” on a major network and five days a week viewers were privy to the inner lives, thoughts, troubles and ultimate growth of six women dedicated to being better. I was addicted instantly and set the DVR (or was it video?) every day. In fact, it was so inspiring to see these women work through their personal blocks, doubts and self-sabotage to get what they really wanted in life that I decided I wanted to be a coach myself. So I got certified and today I am happily helping others be their best.

Coaches believe in the process so strongly that most of us have our own coaches! I have to admit that my relationship with my coach is one of the most rewarding and productive relationships I have. Unlike therapy, coaching doesn’t typically dwell in the past or concentrate on healing wounds. Instead, it is really about forward motion. It allows me to spend 45 minutes a week thinking about what I want and how to get there. That sounds a little odd, but how often do you really think about that and then put a plan in action to achieve your dreams?

And while I can turn to friends when I need advice and comfort, it’s not always ideal. They may be coming from a place of total love, but they might have their own agenda or thoughts on what I should or shouldn’t do, unlike my coach who has nothing at stake when I make a decision. My time there is all about what I want for myself.

If this sounds like what you’re looking for, feel free to check out my website for more information, I’d be happy to speak with you.

Post 911 America, Warts And All

The United States of America has always had its critics. After the second Iraq War began in 2002, global criticism of the country grew considerably. It was a tricky time; if an American criticized the war, that person was considered unpatriotic. I even heard some people in the media saying that anyone critical against the military efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan should leave the country for good. I was critical of the second Iraq War, but as a sister of a U.S. army officer, I am completely on the side of the troops who were and still are deployed overseas. I found the attacks on people who openly criticized the war to be similar to witch hunts, only there would be no literal burnings at the stake.

Even though I am not a Muslim or an Arab, I was told by a family member that our last name implies that we could be one or both. He also claimed that we were facing bias because of it in the workplace. I personally never felt this, and refused to succumb to pressure to change my last name in the new Post-9/11 America. After all, Sikhs were being attacked because of their turbans, and they are not Arabs or connected to the Muslim religion. These attacks really had to do with xenophobia, which is an unreasonable fear or hatred of foreigners and anything foreign. When I heard about the murder of a Sikh man mistaken for an Arab on September 15, 2001, I remembered reading that the murderer was ignorant and xenophobic to begin with. After 9/11, he decided to unleash his hatred as a form of vigilante justice on those who did not look right to him.

As I celebrate the America’s birthday this week, I am reminded of our continuing struggles for freedom and against bigotry. I am proud that as an American, I can openly support and criticize my country without fear of imprisonment. Difficult times, such as those faced after 9/11, remind me that we should NEVER take our freedoms for granted.

Home Sweet Home

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in my new apartment, surrounded by boxes and bags full of everything I own. I realize that doesn't sound particularly note-worthy to anybody else, but I've spent the last several months either traveling or living with my things scattered across New York. I had furniture, and clothes in Manhattan. I had pots, pans, dishes, and a really heavy cutting board in Brooklyn. I had clothes, toiletries, makeup, and jewelry with me in Astoria. Oh, and there were enough shoes and books spread across all three of these places to fill up several boxes and bags, and even then I had to leave a ton behind.

So now that I'm sitting on my new bed in my new apartment with everything in one place, I'm feeling like it should be documented somehow because it feels strange to say: I'm home now. 

When I say to people that I'm home, they'll no longer need to ask which place I mean. When they want to borrow something from me, I can say yes without needing to add "well, I need to see which apartment it's in first..." When I need something mailed, I'll be able to give one address rather than saying "well, it depends on what it is and when you send it..."

I got so caught up in the stress of organizing this move, I hadn't taken any real time to reflect on what it would mean, that I now have a home.

Home. Weird.

Have you ever lived a bit like a nomad? How did it feel when you were all in one place again?

Friday Forum: Flags & Fireworks

Time seems to be flying by! It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating Memorial Day, and we're already finalizing plans for Independence Day.

What do you have planned for this holiday weekend?

Know Your Flow

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome Anna as a first-time guest blogger this week as part of TWM's World of Wellness.

Anna Kowalska, HHC, AADP, works with busy women in their 30s and 40s who want to stay healthy, energetic and sexy, without spending hours in the gym or obsessing over calories.


Have you ever had one of those days when one thing after another slipped through your hands or stepped in your way? You wanted to throw your hands up, crawl under the sheets and sleep ‘til the morning. When I realized that for me it happened on a regular basis, I was determined to figure out why. I learned that my own cycles go far beyond a tampon, chocolate bar and good movie to cry to.

Some days I feel untouchable, like I can do anything. Then, there are days when it feels like a force within me is slowing me down. This roller-coaster of experiences, how I react to them and how real they feel at the time, are deeply connected to my menstrual cycle.

Our female predecessors lived by these cycles and thrived celebrating their womanhood. We have since gotten far away from the rhythm we're meant to live by, and maybe that’s the reason we experience so much pain today.

Wouldn't it be easier if you knew when those “slower” days will come? You could have important meetings on days when you feel the powerful energy within you. You could have that touchy conversation with a loved one on a day when it won't affect you so deeply. When you feel a little less than your powerful self, you could ask for help and reach out to another woman for support.

How much easier could life be if you followed your cycles and knew your flow?

Good news: you can! With a dash of education, a pinch of preparation, some tracking and a few tweaks in your choices of food and activity, your life can flow.

Once I took steps to be more in tune with my body, I felt a world of difference. You can thrive with certainty grace and comfort of knowing these daily fluctuations in you and your world are your right and a privilege every woman should celebrate and embrace.

To learn more, send me an email and together we can put you on the right track to what you really want in life and for everything to just flow.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Stirring Things Up

I have become much more outspoken recently, and this has attracted praise and deep criticism from others. Whether it is about my personal life or what is going on in the world right now, I believe I should express my feelings; of course there are times when speaking up is not alright. For example, I would not bring up my support of same-sex marriage to relatives from my parents’ native country or my extended family members and friends who are against it. If any of them read last week’s post about this issue and wanted to discuss (or confront) me about it, I would of course stand my ground and defend my position. Generally, I find that people will speak up to others, but not directly to the person(s) responsible for stirring things up.

There are times when being “nice” and keeping quiet should be the last things a person does. I was actually advised recently to not use the word nice when describing someone, because it implies being gullible, or easy to manipulate. I think people used to see me in this way, so when I would express my opinions it would shock and anger them sometimes. The idea that the “nice” girl would have strong points of view and speak up against injustice is still considered contradictory.

For Fathers’ Day, posted a quote and comment on Facebook about how it is easy to become a father rather than to actually be one. It was a positive status update, because it praised men who are real fathers, without mentioning those who have given up, never tried, or are just bad at it. I recently heard that someone was put off by the implication of my Facebook status. Perhaps I touched a nerve without trying; who knows? I stand by my words and what I put out on the Internet. While I am not known to be confrontational, I will defend my right to speak up when it is challenged.

Do you avoid confrontation, or are you known for stirring things up?

From Calm to Chaos

The summer is supposed to be a time to have fun and relax, but it doesn't always work out that way. There seems to be some sort of cosmic law where things are completely calm for entirely too long and then completely chaotic for even longer. I'm talking the type of calm that starts out nice until you're so starved for action and drama, you're watching Mob Wives reruns when normally you don't even watch tv. And I'm talking the type of chaos that starts as a series of good news until you're praying life will miraculously stop for just five minutes so you can breathe.

This is more or less what the last few months have been like for me. To be clear, my "calm" was still hectic, but at least it was some level of normalcy. My chaos? Well, let's break that down...

By July 11th, I will have had a performance (and tons of practice leading up to it), two trips, my mother's surprise 50th birthday party, two moves (one to a temporary place, one to my new apartment), and the start of a new job. All in less than two months. And, if we're getting specific here, the two moves, one of the trips, and the new job are all happening in less than two weeks.

Mid-July will bring birthday celebrations for a few friends, adjusting to my new place, and getting to know my new co-workers. But after that? I have lofty plans of going into a hibernation of sorts, declining invitations, catching up on work, and spending time being lazy and taking a breather.

What has your summer been like so far?

The Big Easy

I traveled to New Orleans this weekend for an American Library Association conference. While it was technically a work trip, I managed to find some fun things to do as well. I wandered the French Quarter, explored Bourbon Street--as a spectator rather than a participant in the significant festivities going on there on a Saturday night!--but my favorite stop of all was Cafe du Monde, where I ate a lovely meal of beignets and hot chocolate. Yum!

I hadn't been on a trip that was more than a day or two in over a year--and all of those were for work, too--so it was nice to settle in a bit and feel that I got to experience a new place, especially a place I've been wanting to visit for a long time. I found the journey both inspiring and relaxing, which is a pretty stellar result for a business trip, in my estimation.

I suppose I've posted about travel before, but there is something so soothing to me about getting up, packing my suitcase and hitting the road. I don't know if it is the sense of forward motion, or the opportunity to see new things, eat new food and meet new people, but every journey makes me excited. It seems whatever piece of me that is satisfied by travel adventures lives too deep to isolate or to name. I've tried for a long time, and I can't get underneath it. Oh well. I will just have to enjoy the surface of things--and in New Orleans, the surface is pretty great!

Speaking of the surface of things...in the part of the city I was in, you don't see much evidence of Hurricane Katrina; whether the area wasn't directly damaged or has been rebuilt, I'm unsure. I do know that it made me think about how things appear versus how they really are. I have a feeling if I'd been able to walk in the right direction, I would have seen the damage that is still felt around the city. I guess there is a parallel there, between how I feel as a traveler, affected from the inside-out, and how a city like New Orleans is repaired from the outside-in. I could write more about that, but I guess I still feel like I'm on vacation!

Friday Forum: Summer Lovin'

Warm weather seems to bring people out more, increasing the chances to socialize and meet new people. With everyone constantly joking about "spring flings" and "summer loving," we just have to ask if there's any truth to this.

Have you ever spent a summer with somebody, knowing it would probably end once the fall began?

Live the Life You Like

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to welcome Routh as a first-time guest blogger this week as part of TWM's World of Wellness.

Routh Chadwick, LMSW, is a personal coach and counselor specializing in helping people discover and live their life purpose while finding more pleasure in their daily lives. She has a private practice in New York City.

As the saying goes, I entered the mental health profession partly to heal myself. After suffering from depression and anxiety for years, I set out to discover a better way to live. Over time, I made changes in my thinking and habits that enabled me to reach a place of well-being. The changes weren’t easy, but I stopped trying to live my life according to the mainstream views of success and started listening to myself. I also noticed a tendency in all of us to focus on the pain in our lives rather than beauty and abundance. I saw this in the acceptance of lousy working conditions, crazy stress levels, and a constant striving for some future happiness. The cultural antidote to the pain tends to be some kind of numbing agent: too much television, too much alcohol, chronic use of antidepressants, etc.

My search for healthier solutions took me to the Zen practice of mindfulness – paying attention to your experience and being present in the moment. The pagan embrace of the pleasures that life on earth offers also helped, going against the suffering, self-denial, and guilt our culture prescribes.

Many come to me feeling lost or dissatisfied, so if you feel this way, you’re not alone. My process begins with an exploration to help you discover what it is you really want in life. We look at your life as a whole and make gradual adjustments. While long-term success means discomfort at times, the result is a richer, more fulfilling life.

One of the suggestions I give is to take note of all the ways you’re rushing through your life. Then see if once in a while, you can catch yourself and slow down for a moment. Even if you’re under the gun at work, there’s no reason you can’t allow yourself five minutes to get fresh air and enjoy some sunshine. Small actions open up a space in your life for new awareness and new habits.

I offer one-on-one sessions to assist you in making changes that will lead to a more meaningful life. If you mention TWM, you’re entitled to 15% off any services I offer.

Gay Marriage Is Right

The ongoing debate about gay marriage, particularly in New York and New Jersey, has flared up annoyance and some anger in me. Every time I think we as a society are moving closer towards acceptance of all law abiding people, regardless of sexual orientation, I am reminded by certain people that we still have a very long way to go. I have heard it said many times that the pursuit of equal rights for gay and lesbian citizens is our latest civil rights movement. People may dispute this vehemently, but I believe it is true.

I think the opposition to gay marriage shared by a number of religious groups is one of the main reasons why I am no longer religious. Born and raised a Roman Catholic and having attended Catholic schools in New Jersey, I felt genuinely repressed and ill at ease with religion as a whole. I always believed in a Higher Power, but I find the bigotry towards gays and lesbians to be contradictory to Christian values of acceptance and love. I have a distinct aversion for people who consider themselves closer to God based simply on which religious group they belong to, especially when they speak words ranging from ignorance to pure hatred towards those they see as outsiders.

As a straight woman who believes that there are many people out there who should not be married due to their destructive personalities, I am also supportive of anyone who wants to enter into the matrimonial state for all the right reasons. Love, friendship, respect, loyalty, and more can be shared by any two people who want to grow old together, and that is a beautiful thing. Regardless of the outcome of the pending vote in New York for or against gay marriage, I will always see any union between two loving people the same way, regardless of sexual orientation. Regulating love is never a good thing.

A Party & Paris

There are moments in your life that you want to make extra special, and major birthdays are one of those. My mother just turned 50 and said from the beginning of the year that she wanted a big birthday party with as much of her family there as possible.

My sisters and I, however, thought this was a terrible idea. My mother's family is a lot of drama, and we knew that even though it sounded good to her, she would regret it as soon as the party was over. And spending that much money on one night made no sense to us when a trip abroad would be the same amount and much more memorable.

So my sisters and I have spent the last few months simultaneously planning a French-themed dinner party and a trip to Paris. The dinner would be a surprise and have my mother's close friends and family here in NY as guests, but the trip would be the real gift.

Even though I knew it would all turn out at least okay if not great, it added a layer of stress to the last couple of months. My sisters and I were constantly arguing about what was and wasn't important, something being too expensive or taking too long, how our mother would feel about one detail over others. It didn't help matters that when things would not go as planned, one or the other would freak out and become a complete pain to deal with.

Well, the party was this past weekend and it was, for the most part, a success. The food was good, my mother felt special and didn't complain too much (our family is known for complaining, so it was inevitable), and she's excited for her trip to Paris this fall. As I expected, it wasn't anywhere near perfect, but it turned out well in the end. Now I just need a little break from my sisters and all will be right with the world...

Have you ever been stressed by planning a major event with other people?

Out of the Ordinary

Living in a big city is typically exciting. It's diverse and active and it tends to make me feel like the world is at my fingertips. On the other hand, over time it can become a bit claustrophobic. There are people everywhere, and riding the subway some days, it becomes very clear why the crowded road to success is often referred to as the rat race.

My solution? Get out of town!

This weekend some friends and I rented a car and drove up the Hudson Valley, no particular destination in mind, but simply with the intent to "see something green." (Yeah, Central Park is nice, but you can almost always still hear the city traffic, which stops it from feeling like a true retreat most days.) We ended up touring two old mansions with gardens that have become National Historic Landmarks, eating Dairy Queen Blizzards (Yum!) and driving through a bunch of cute little towns.

Sound like a simple outing? It really was. In fact, what I found most striking about this day trip was how easy and relatively inexpensive it was, yet how refreshing the simple change of pace could be. I suppose there are many ways of refreshing onseelf, but communing with nature and breathing different air always has a way of re-energizing me and putting regular life back into perspective.

Where do you go for a quick change of pace?

Friday Forum: J for Just Do It

Ah, June. The summer is in full swing, vacations are being planned, and... half the year has gone by! Instead of getting sidetracked and distracted, why don't you make some goals for yourself? Pull out your New Year's Resolution again, or set a new objective for the summer.

What goals are you setting (or re-setting) starting now?

There's Still Time

TWM's World of Wellness is in full swing. There's still time to become a sponsor and be featured in the weekly blasts. Plus, you get to reach even more people by writing a guest post for CHICKS ROCK!

Check out last week's email blast and get in touch with us today to join in on the fun!

The Right Kind Of Criticism

I really do not like people giving me unsolicited and undesired advice. I doubt most people welcome it in their lives. I am all for constructive criticism, but let us face it; we get the other, more negative kind more often. The other day, I was confronted with it by someone I see a few times a year, on average. I laughed it off and moved on to another conversation. When I was younger, I may have been more defensive and insecure in my response.

We are our own worst critics, and we should really give ourselves a break once in a while. If I find myself criticizing myself for working on weekends when I do not need to, then I know I need a short break before resuming my regular routine. Instead of despairing that I have not had enough sleep in the last few weeks due to work, I just make sure to make the time, so I can catch up on rest. Not enough exercise? I simply have to make time to do it daily, and to do different types of exercise. Of course there are things about myself I cannot change or would not change at this point, such as my short stature or deviated septum. My self-criticism and the criticisms from others have taught me to accept my shortcomings, and work on the parts of myself that I can change for the better.

Of course when someone does give me constructive criticism I do make sure to be open to hearing and considering it in my mind. Sometimes I take the advice and sometimes I don’t; I consider that to be a good trait. After all, we are all teachers for each other, whether we are aware of it or not. Self-improvement for the right reasons is never a bad thing.

Bummed Out

For the last few months, I've been moving non-stop. I had a dance performance this past weekend, and practicing for that was rather grueling. The luckiest of us ended up with hurt knees and one unlucky team member had a sprained ankle. I thought my trip to Vegas would give my body a break, but instead, I spent days walking up and down the strip. I even went to Spa Castle last week, where I soaked in hot tubs and tried to soothe my super-tight muscles under the jets, but it still wasn't enough.

So I've been waiting for months to give my body a rest and kept telling myself "after the show..." Except that as soon as I had time to breathe when the show was over, I realized that this week is the Chase Corporate Challenge, a 3.5-mile run in Central Park. I signed up with my co-workers a few months back and completely forgot about it. I was excited at the time and thought it'd be fun to get out and run a few miles in the nice weather. Now that it's here, I'm not seeing the fun in it at all. I wrote to a friend of mine who runs regularly and has been in a couple of marathons, and she gave me tips to get my mind and body ready in such a short time, but I'm still a bit panicky.

I'm not worried about the running itself, a few hours to listen to music and run without any distractions is not a bad thing at all. And even with my hurt knee, I know I can make it through (thank goodness my team captain bought us all knee braces last week).

No, the real problem is having this sneak up on me when I thought I'd get to be a lazy bum. I was looking forward to spending time sitting and laying down with little reason to move. And now, instead, I have to run 3.5 miles when I could be eating ice cream and watching tv.

Oh well, maybe next week I'll get to bum out.

A Brush and a Mirror

So....dare I say we've all done it? Held a hairbrush (or whatever's handy) as if it's a microphone and practiced our Oscar-winning speech in the mirror? Oh. No? Not everyone? Just me? Well, that's embarrassing....

If you haven't guessed already, I was watching the 65th Annual Tony Awards on TV last night. I'm not an actor, but it's nice to dream. I'm not a playwright, either, but I dabble. Of course, watching the show makes me want to throw it all away and start writing The Great American Stage Play so that someday I might be able to get up on stage and cry and thank a bunch of people. The only thing that stops me is the knowledge that playwriting is not the medium in which I speak best. I'm a novelist because it's what I love, and what I'm good at.

But watching people who have risen to the epitome of their profession is always inspiring. It reassures me that all the hard work might actually be worth it in the end. For my particular world, the Tony/Oscar equivalent is the American Library Association's Youth Media Awards, which are announced in mid-winter and awarded in June at the ALA national conference. I'll be headed down to New Orleans for said conference in a couple of weeks. A few close friends/colleagues have been honored this year and I look forward to celebrating these honors with them.

Full disclosure requires me to admit that my first novel actually won one of these awards, a New Talent award under the Coretta Scott King Awards banner. (Yay!) I've even been to a televised award show (the NAACP Image Awards) for the same book. (Woot.) That was over a year ago, and I'm still very pleased and proud to have earned these mentions, but it doesn't stop me from dreaming of hitting the same jackpot again, and it certainly doesn't stop me from dreaming even bigger.

Who do you thank in your mirror acceptance speeches? If you sincerely dream of being on one of those famous stages, what are you doing RIGHT NOW that might help get you there?

Friday Forum: Light Up the BBQ

We don't know about you, but we think barbecues are one of the best things about the summer. It's quaint cousin, the picnic, is also nice, even if it's not quite the same.

What are some of your favorite summer foods? Do you get to BBQ or picnic as often as you'd like?

Don't Worry, Be Happy

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.


As the saying goes, there are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes and change. Change comes in all shapes and sizes, some more scary than others. Climate change, career change, graduations, marriages and relationships changes, TV changes, sex changes, change of residences, and regime change to name a few - and June seems chock full of them!

Most folks have a hard time with change. We'd rather stay comfy and/or miserable rather than letting go of our crutches and seeing what else life might have in store us. We cannot control things but we can control how we respond to them: we can resist and go kicking and screaming or we can accept that change happens, and just go with the flow.

Going with the flow means listening to yourself, and giving yourself what you need at any particular moment. The best way to navigate change is to trust in yourself and be your own best counsel, so it's important to have that 'muscle' in place as you go over the white water rapids of feelings that come with this thing called life.

Change is not always fun, but it's almost always for the better, because change forces growth and growth is good. And once the change happens, we can't be like a goldfish who lived in a fishbowl his whole life but then when put into the ocean still swims around in a little circle as if he were still in a bowl!

David Bowie tells us time can change you but you can't trace time. So this summer, if you feel you are ready to be hatched, then fly, be free! Not quite like Mork's egg, but more like Steve Miller's Eagle or with the help of Bob Marley's Three Little Birds and the wonder of that other Stevie who sings, Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing.

In Memoriam

My aunt passed away this week, after being ill for a number of years. She was constantly going to the hospital for dialysis every three days, and she lived in the middle of a forest village! When I went to visit her in India after a number of years, I was shocked to see how remote it was, and what it must have been for her to live there, surrounded by trees and animals, with no hospital anywhere in the vicinity. I spent the night there with my mother in semi-detached quarters, which were connected to the main house but had its own entrance. The experience was frustrating, because I got little sleep because of the animals my mother perceived to be dangerous, and they were there just on the other side of the door. For a short night and early morning, I really stepped out of my comfort zone.

My aunt’s life was quite different than my mother’s; the former was born more than ten years before my mother was, and was made to get married at the tender age of 15, which was quite normal at the time. My mother told me that before she was pulled out of school, she was an excellent student. Years later when my mother faced similar pressures, she had the advantage of birth order and her mother’s support to continue with her education to become a nurse, and eventually settle in the United States. Through my aunt’s words and actions, it was hard not to notice that she felt left behind.

I was not close with my aunt; I had only ever met her three times before in my life. What I know about her is from my mother, who didn’t really know her either. She was only three when my aunt was married, so they never shared sisterly closeness. What my mother does remember is how opinionated she was, and what an excellent memory she had, even at the end of her life. In the end, I am glad she is is no longer suffering and at peace.

My Non-Vegas Vegas Vacation

Since I've been keeping all of you updated on my vacations, especially my trip to Vegas, it seems silly to not end up telling you how it went. In a word: splendidly.

I ended up going with just one friend who was with me for the weekend. It was great to catch up with her and together we ate some mediocre food and some delicious food, went out one night, and saw a show the other. Once she left, I had three days to myself, which I spent reading and lounging by the pool each morning and then in my room getting work done, reading, or watching Game Show Network the rest of the day. I even had my own private dance party in my hotel room one night.

As I hinted at last week, I spent more money than I budgeted, but there were some great treats that came along with that. Well, one great treat, really, with The Beatles: LOVE, Cirque du Soleil's popular show inspired by and set to the music of The Beatles. I'm a huge Beatles fan so I had already seen most of All Together Now, the documentary about how they put the show together. But I had never seen a Cirque du Soleil show and nothing could really prepare me for how entertaining it was. There's really only one thing I'm glad I splurged on in Vegas, and it was that.

But probably the best thing about my trip was spending time alone. Once there, I instantly realized how much I needed it, given how hectic my schedule has been. I can't remember the last time I spent more than a couple of hours with myself and it's been the same way since getting back. It wasn't enough to fully recharge, but it was a bit of breathing room.

So maybe my Vegas vacation was anything but your typical Vegas trip, but I still enjoyed it.

Do you like spending time by yourself while on vacation?

Post-Slump Progress

It happens to everyone. You lose steam on a project that once excited you. Dread waking up to go to work in the morning for a period of time. Drag your feet. Hit a wall. Lose focus. Drift aimlessly. Fall into a slump. Whatever you want to call it, it's never a good feeling.

I'm not sure what causes these slumps; surely it's different things at different times. If the cause is obvious, I tend to find it easier to deal with than when it's a mystery as to why I just feel a bit OFF from time to time. I got over a cold recently, yet even after my symptoms disappeared I still felt fairly slumpy. I felt myself struggling to create (which is my job, being a writer and all) and to relate (which is pretty essential in life and work in general). In short, I turned into a great big grump.

I was happy to realize over the weekend that my grump alterego has finally retreated to her cave. Hooray! Rising out of such a slump is both a relief and a source of excitement for me. I go to my computer in the mornings reminded of why I chose the work I chose, instead of annoyed that I have to do it. I feel productive and energetic and like I can start all over again. What could be better?

The one little question that tickles the back of my mind is: what did the trick? What helped me get over the slump? Was it simply a matter of time? Or did I inadvertently stumble upon some magical formula of strawberry cheesecake, peanut butter sandwiches and corny romantic comedies (Yes, these are some of my go-to items) that reversed my grumpy slumpiness? I feel that some additional research may be required....

When you feel stuck, how do you un-slump yourself?

Friday Forum: Reunited & It Feels So...

Whether it's a 10-year high school reunion or that group of kids you hung out with at summer camp ages ago, at times there seems to be a constant flurry of messages from people in your past.

Has anybody from your past ever tried to reach out to you again to get together? How did your reunion go?

Link Love for 6/2

There's been a lot of great stuff to read out there, so let's jump right in with the links, shall we?

Awaken Your CAREERpreneur gives real-life examples of how choosing something that seems off-course may be the best decision in the end.

Downtown Dharma reviews the movie Bridesmaids and offers a good life lesson we can all take away from it.

Girl w/Pen looks at something that affects all of us and our expectations for ourselves: stereotype threat.

In Good Company considers different ways of looking at entrepreneurship and what it means to make that choice based on the life you want.

Lindsey Pollak has a great strategy and helpful tips for getting a job by trying out (wait for it) blogging.

The Woodhull Institute's blog featured what sounds like a great book! It looks at what events in a woman's life impacts her happiness and self-confidence.

That's all we've got for today. What have you been reading and writing online? Leave links in the comments.

Tanning Versus Lightening

Now that summer has unofficially begun and the temperatures have climbed, I see everyone wearing lighter and fewer clothes and reveling in the sunshine. Sometimes I wonder if they have sun block on, and if they know that they have to re-apply it every two hours, no matter what color they are. In Western cultures, the general feeling is that being tan is best, and getting sun without getting sunburn is the best and inexpensive way to go. Of course there are tanning salons with tanning beds and spray tans, but nothing beats going to the beach and laying out in sun’s rays, premature aging and the possibility of skin cancer be damned.

When I was walking outside the other day, I saw a fair skinned woman of Asian descent walking with a bright red umbrella, which she had opened to avoid the darkening effects of the sun. It reminded me of my times in India and Indonesia, where dark skin is generally thought to be something that should be lightened for beauty. I would see commercials for skin lightening creams everywhere, and when I went to with a friend to a local Body Shop in an Indonesian mall to do a makeup test, they used lighter foundation for my neck and face at first; I told them to match my natural color. They looked shocked when I told them that I liked my skin tone and had no desire to be lighter. One time I made the mistake of asking for a bottle of self-tanner in a high-end mall’s beauty supply store; I walked away amused by the store employee’s look of horror at the idea of such a product.

I have no desire to sunbathe and expose my skin without protection in the afternoon sun, because I don’t want to damage it. I prefer self-tanners to “fairness” creams, which can be found at almost any Asian market. Staying healthy and even-toned are goals that are far more important to me than pursuing Western or Eastern standards of skin beauty.

Another Time to "Just Say No"

Vacations are great for a lot of reasons: you get to relax, there's a change of scenery, you spend time with friends or family, maybe you get to soak in the sun. But one thing that's not so great about vacations is all the money you spend, and that's certainly true in a place like Las Vegas.

Those all-you-can-eat buffets aren't worth the $25-35 you spend on them. And drinks that start at $10 but are no stronger or more special than juice with a splash of alcohol in them are a waste. Some say it's okay to spend more on vacation, insisting that this isn't the time to worry about money. Others point out that things are just as overpriced in NYC. Well, I don't generally pay more for something just because I'm on vacation unless I have no choice. And I don't know about anybody else, but I avoid overpriced NYC establishments like the plague, especially when there's often a cheaper alternative a few blocks away.

If this is how I feel, then I must be saving money on this trip, right? Well, not exactly, because if I'm being completely honest, part of the problem is peer pressure.

Gone are the days when I worried about what I'd do if asked to smoke a cigarette... instead, I'm now worried about the friend who wants to order a drink, an appetizer, an entree AND dessert. Sure, we might be sharing one or all of those, but I still end up spending way more than I planned. Sadly, I've realized I just can't bring myself to say no. I hate thinking that my financial worries are getting in the way of everyone else's happiness (yes, I realize that's absolutely ridiculous).

So as I gear up for my next trip, I'm keeping this in mind and am making a concerted effort to be loud and clear about my budget. I'll look up cheaper options when possible and when it comes to eating more courses than my stomach or wallet can afford, I'll learn to just say no.

A Holiday Break

We're giving Kekla a break on this beautiful holiday weekend. Get out there and enjoy the weather and the time off!

Friday Forum: What Are We Remembering?

Memorial Day is often seen as just another day off, with picnics, barbecues, or a day at the beach. But the real meaning often gets lost: commemorating the soldiers who have died.

Have you ever found that you forgot the meaning of Memorial Day? Do you think we ignore the real meaning behind holidays like this?

Pre-Holiday Housekeeping

You're surely gearing up for the holiday weekend, so we wanted to quickly remind you of a couple of things.

First up is TWM's upcoming World of Wellness. It's easy and affordable to become a sponsor and doing so brings exposure to you and your business, while giving you a chance to educate women on better ways to live a healthy life. Email info@thewomensmosaic.org for more info or to sign up.

And, of course, we wanted to remind you that you can always submit a guest post and have your voice and story featured right here on CHICKS ROCK! The guidelines are straight-forward, and guest blogging lets you tell your story in your way, helping you connect with other women. Email chicksrockblog@gmail.com with your submission.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Victimizing Victims With Blame

Like most people, I find myself getting angry when I hear about people who are physically assaulted at their workplaces, schools, and other places that are familiar to them. I was disgusted when I read the report about the former heard of the International Monetary Fund who is accused of attempting to rape a maid who went to his room to clean it, and then boarded a plane back to his native France the same day; thankfully the authorities stopped him from leaving. I know he is innocent until proven guilty, but when I heard that the maid is a Guinean immigrant and a devout Muslim who wears a traditional headscarf, I became even more concerned. Why? Because in addition to her being in a service-related position where there is little safety for the workers, she must also wrestle feelings of violation and guilt. I don’t want to generalize, but I know that in my parents’ culture, it is still widely believed that women are to blame for any sexual violence they endure.

I found out a few years ago that a former family friend of my Mother’s was raped in a hospital parking lot several decades ago; she worked at that hospital as a nurse. She won a considerable settlement from her employers, but never went to therapy. When I knew her, she was very judgmental and constantly angry. Even with the money, I now know that it did not buy her peace of mind, even though she and her family had the best of everything. Her desire to pretend that the past did not happen for the sake of her traditional beliefs and to fit into her cultural community became everything to her.

While I am respectful of all cultures and religions, I will never understand when a woman or man is forcibly attacked by others and blamed for it. It is a further victimization of the victim, and that is unacceptable. Patience, compassion, and love should always be used by anyone with a family member or friend who goes through this ordeal.

The Still Unfazed, Solo Traveler

As I was mentioning last week, the last few months have been a bit hectic for me. That full body massage was a great treat, but what I've really been needing is a vacation. Thankfully, the two I have scheduled over the next couple of months are finally upon me.

First stop: Vegas.

After all the back and forth, it turns out that I'll be alone for most of the time. I know what you're thinking, "Alone? In Vegas?" This is the reaction I've been getting from pretty much everybody, and still... I remain unfazed. It was when my friends started to feel sorry for me and say things like "well, it should be an interesting experience to travel alone" that I realized I do this all the time.

Seattle? Alone. Indiana? Alone. Mississippi? Sort of alone.

If anything, I was actually excited that I would be alone because there'd be nothing to distract me from my goal of relaxation. I would be less tempted to go out and spend a ton of money on dinners and booze. There'd be nobody encouraging me to pull down the level at a slot machine. It'd just be me, the hot sun, my eReader, and my laptop. Heck, even not going out every night is actually a blessing because I'll get a chance to catch up on my writing, something I've been too busy to do for the past couple of months.

My next stop is California, and that will also be a chill trip. I'm driving from LA to San Francisco with a friend of mine, hitting up the beaches and beautiful scenery and greenery along the way. It'll be the first time we spend that much time together since our trip to Europe in junior high school, but I think we'll be fine.

So it's funny the way things work out. I wanted to change my pace and mellow out for a bit, which at first seemed like the opposite of these trips, but it looks like I'm still going to get what I need.

Are you looking forward to any upcoming vacations?

Happy Graduation

It's getting to be that time of year. Schools are letting out, another academic year is ending, and for many students in different walks of life it's time for a big life change: Graduation. Whether it's from high school, college, trade school, graduate or professional school, or just kindergarten, graduations are typically times of high emotion, excitement and anxiety.

I haven't graduated from anything in a while, at least not officially, but as I'm watching others achieve significant milestones in their lives I find myself reflecting on the many unofficial graduations I've celebrated over the past few years. Not the least of which has been moving from regular employment to making a living as an author.

In regular life, there isn't always an obvious moment of "graduation" from one state of being to another. It can be a continual evolution during which you wake up one morning and know that you are different, and that your world is changing to match. No one hands you a diploma, but the sense of accomplishment can be just as strong.

Sometimes it's good to pat yourself on the back and think about all your accomplishments, big and small, those that are life-changing as well as those day-to-day events that seem insignificant but which gradually carry you closer to your goals.

What milestones have you reached lately? How do you plan to celebrate your graduation?

Friday Forum: Go Get Physical

As we reminded you yesterday, it's time to get your health and fitness on track. Take some time to prioritize your own wellbeing this weekend, maybe starting with something as simple as a run -- which helps you exercise your body while also clearing your mind.

And while you're at it, check to see if there are opportunities to exercise outdoors and/or for free this month and throughout the summer.

Have you been more active this month? Do you think you'll start now that we're reminding you?

Another World of Wellness!

Two years ago, TWM held their Focus on Fitness and Health with three live events, and last year they took the celebration online with World of Wellness. It was such a success, that it's back again this year from May 25 - June 22. Check out the details below:

This year's event includes:
*Virtual Health Fair of five blasts beginning 5/25 (plus up to 2 additional dedicated blasts depending on sponsor level)
*Screen Shot and Link to Video – your own personal commercial/demo clip!(YouTube, Vimeo or Blip.tv)
*Dedicated week of guest posts about health and fitness on our blog CHICKS ROCK!,
*TWM World of Wellness Resource Guide to be distributed online to our membership and in print where possible.
*Passport to Wellness Coupon Blast

Benefits to your business include:
*exposure of your business to over 5000+ women and men
*opportunity to educate women about the variety of ways to live a healthy life
*demonstrate support for and be associated with a non-profit organization dedicated to empowering women

Sponsorship investment ranges from $55 to $500. For more information and to request a registration form, send an email to info@thewomensmosaic.org

A Healthy Jumpstart

If you take note of Mays past with TWM and CHICKS ROCK!, yesterday's post about TWM's World of Wellness was probably no surprise. This is the time we usually start focusing on health and wellness around here. May is not only National Physical Fitness & Sports Month, but it's also Mental Health Month.

If you're looking to put your health first this month (and in other months to come!), be sure to check out our past content on TWM's World of Wellness Series and health, wellness or fitness in general.

Musings About The Freedom Riders

Fifty years ago this month, black and white activists risked their lives by taking interstate buses and sitting where they wanted in them; they boarded them in Washington D.C. and went into the racially segregated South. The Freedom Riders were taught not to use violence to defend themselves before the trip began, and as a result made a significant impact on the early days of the Civil Rights Movement in the United States. When I realized that it had been fifty years since the Freedom Rides, I made sure to watch television programs and read anything I could about them. I am impressed and humbled by the bravery and endurance of the civil rights activists who were beaten and almost killed by mobs in Birmingham, Anniston, and Montgomery Alabama. I also wonder about myself; if I was of age in 1961, would I have been inspired to become a Freedom Rider? Would I have had the fortitude to face the vengeance of the angry Ku Klux Klan (KKK) and other racists? Hearing the stories of the Freedom Riders, who recently commemorated their 50th anniversary with some college students by taking buses and re-tracing the same routes, reminds me of the human capacity of true greatness.

I would like to think I would join the cause, if I lived during this time, even though I would have been very frightened. The evils of racial segregation are intolerable to me, so I think this would have been a strong enough reason to overcome my fears. At the same time, I may have been dissuaded by my Mother’s feelings about my safety. Facing angry mobs of people and violence at their hands would change me forever, but perhaps this would be a good thing in the long run, especially in the years after the Civil Rights Movement. The bottom line is that I will never know what it was like for the Freedom Riders, but I can remember their struggles and triumphs.

Do you ever wonder what you would have done had you lived during the Freedom Rides, or other events like them?

Massage for the Body (& Mind?)

To say that life's been stressful over the last few months would be an understatement. Lately, though, it's been even worse. With my schedule more hectic every day and my muscles getting used and abused more than they have in a long time, some pampering and tlc was in order. So when my friend and I saw a deal for an exfoliating massage from one of those daily deals sites, we jumped on it.

This was my first time getting a full body massage and I've never done a body scrub or exfoliating treatment at a spa before, so I didn't know what to expect. The good news: it was, of course, quite glorious. The bad news: I couldn't shut off my mind, no matter how hard I tried. I can usually calm my thoughts during yoga, so you'd think that with such a relaxing experience, it'd be no problem. But it was a huge problem, only worsened by the fact that I kept beating myself up for over-thinking. In the end, my body was feeling great, but my brain was even more jumbled. Is there a massage for the mind? But it still felt so great, I'd do it again.

So the worse news is, the hour was up way too soon. But the better news is, we're getting at least one more round of massages before the year is through. Due to a scheduling issue, we actually ended up having to get two deals (long story), and then it turns out they charged my friend twice, so we may even go a third time! I've got to say, there are worse things to spend money on. If I'm splurging on something, I can only hope to feel that great afterwards.

Have you taken time out lately for some pampering or self-indulgence?

Under the Weather

I've been fighting a cold all week, and have spent much of my time strategically surrounded by Kleenex, tea, cough drops, Sudafed, and every remote control I own. I've allowed myself to take a few sick days, even though there's no official process for that since I work from home. While it doesn't feel good to feel bad, I admit I have enjoyed the time of rest.

Being sick is a giant pain, an inconvenience, a headache--both literally and figuratively--but it can also signal that it 's time to take a breath and let yourself rest. I'm trying not to worry about the deadlines that are approaching and all the work that is standing undone. I suspect that trying to juggle all these concerns in the first place is part of what led me toward my current illness, and while the temptation is there to just push through it, my instinct is telling me it will only make matters worse.

Whether you're feeling at the top of your game, or a little under the weather yourself, don't forget to take time to think about your health, and most importantly, how your lifestyle impacts your health.

Need some inspiration? Check out our previous posts on health and wellness.

Friday Forum: Friday the 13th

You may know that today is Friday the 13th, but did you know that it's the only one in 2011? Even some people who don't usually pay attention to superstition get freaked out by "Freaky Friday."

Do you get freaked out by Friday the 13th?

V

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.

On May 5, 2011, Kristina attended the 7th annual Voices event hosted by Brotherhood/Sister Sol, a leading non-profit that empowers young Black and Latino women and men by helping them to become critical thinkers and community leaders.

"...I will continue to use my voice, the one I was told is important and matters." -- Rosario Dawson, actress and activist

I'm not a huge fan of American Idol, but have watched it here and there, and the theme I noticed this season has to do with contestants 'finding their voice' and being artists who are true to themselves. Now there's a new kid on the block called The Voice, and the X-Factor coming around the corner as well.

Although on one hand we are attracted to the idea of being plucked from obscurity and thrust into the spotlight, I think our more subconscious obsession with these shows stems from how powerful that little box in our throat really is, because not enough of us use it to its fullest potential.

I have a client who feels she is not heard by her boyfriend, another who is trying to find his voice at his job, another who gets stuck when trying to articulate anything about herself. Shania Twain, who made a living and a fortune living by her voice, lost it after the devastating news of her husband's betrayal and coming to terms with a traumatic childhood. There is nothing more effective to show us just how essential our voice is to who we are than when it is not there.

I recently had the privilege of meeting one of the most distinctive and profound voices in our society today, Dr. Cornel West, who was being honored, along with Rosario Dawson and the former Mayor David Dinkins at the very aptly named Voices 7, the annual gala for The Brotherhood/Sister Sol, an organization that empowers low income Black and Latino youth to become agents of social change through education, activism and spoken word.

A frequent guest on mainstream TV talk shows, Dr. West always has an intelligent and entertaining discourse with his host and speaks my kinda language about love, courage and shared humanity; he is an extremely unique voice of reason in a sea of media madness.

At the end of the event, the students' poem said you "Can't sing when your guard is up and your mouth is closed... The consequences of silence are intolerable." No matter who you are, without your voice and your Voice, you are lost.

The logo and ads for The Voice show two fingers up in a V; I realized it's no small coincidence that this is also the sign of Peace and Victory, as they are all intertwined; because when you find your Voice and use it, you feel at Peace with yourself and can be Victorious in overcoming any obstacle - and that is Vital.

Paying Attention

Taking time to take notice of my surroundings is something I do every day. It is essential to pay attention at school, work, driving, crossing the street, and many other times when our lives and livelihoods depend on it, but when it doesn’t, many just have tunnel vision or hearing. The chaos of modern life makes us that way; I believe New York City is a perfect example of a metropolis that is filled with people who have made tunnel vision and hearing an art. As a one-time inhabitant and frequent visitor, I understand why; there are too many distractions in the city, and so people must stay focused to get to their destinations.

Many times we use this tunnel view in our relationships with other people, especially when things start to go bad. I am currently in a situation where I cannot afford not to pay attention to someone in my life, because when I did in the past I suffered for it. Paying attention to what people are saying, even when they are not speaking, and other changes in our environment allow us to adapt and survive, ultimately. I have a friend who is in a terrible marriage, and others I know, she will not pay attention to how irrevocably broken her relationship is. She wants to prove to herself and others that she can keep everything together; she is paying attention to keeping up appearances, rather than to the truth.

Personally, I can only pay attention my own truths and those in the world around me, even if they are not pretty. While some might think from reading this that I see myself as enlightened, which would not be true; I am incapable of not paying attention. My own Mother told me that I have never lost the ability to observe and react to my observations in truthful ways. As an adult I know when not to express these truths to certain people and at particular moments, but I haven’t lost the ability to be observant to my realities. I hope I never will.

Why Didn't I Think of That?

As I've mentioned before, there aren't many brands I really love, but for the select few, the loyalty's strong. So when Old Navy invited customers to join what they called their "style council," I jumped at the chance.

To sign up, I had to join a site called Crowdtap, which is basically social media meets market research. You already know how much I love trying out new social media platforms. Some I tire of quickly, but others hook me, and that's what happened with Crowdtap.

The way it works is you give feedback to brands in exchange for the opportunity to try products firsthand. You also earn money for a charity of your choice and for yourself, which you use at Amazon.com. I haven't cashed out yet, but the countless hours I've spent answering questions and commenting in discussions have not been in vain: I've got a cute Old Navy dress and some snazzy accessories to show for it. And did I mention my friends also got free goodies? Fun for everyone!

It's basically a combination of all the things I love: social media, free stuff, and philanthropy. Why didn't I think of this?

The more time I spend on this site, the more I contemplate on the random ideas we have that we quickly dismiss. What is it that makes some people develop those ideas into something real? Obviously, not all of them end up a success, but certainly an idea you don't act on doesn't have a chance to succeed.

I guess because this is one of the few times I genuinely thought "I could've done this," I'm now more aware of these half-baked ideas. I've decided that from now on when my friends or I think of something like this, I'll make note of it and give it serious consideration. They say that if you follow your passion, that's when you'll really find success, right? So, who knows, maybe one of our wacky ideas will be the next Facebook.

Do you ever have ideas like this? Do you act on any of them?

Coincidence? I Think Not...

One of the quirky, unexpected and often magical things about life--especially life in New York it seems--is the potential for strange coincidences. I seem to be going through a period where series of seemingly random, unrelated events are turning out to have deeper significance. It's like those times when you learn a new word or phrase that you've never heard before in your life, yet within the space of days suddenly everyone around you is saying it like it's been part of their vocabulary for years. You know those moments?

I try to pay close attention when coincidences happen--like when out of the blue, a friend pops into my mind who I haven't spoken to in years, then out of the same blue I receive a message from her two days later. Like when I think about emailing my agent a certain book proposal, then she emails and asks about the status of the same proposal. I don't always know what such an occurrence means right away, but it always feels like a nudge toward something.

I suppose I believe it's possible for truly meaningless coincidence to occur, but I like to think there's more to it. The idea of coincidence having significance appeals to me because it suggests there are larger forces at work in the universe. I admit, I'm often intrigued by the tingle of deja vu, or left in awe of the sudden clarity that strikes when tiny little happenings add up to a larger picture.

For me, coincidence sometimes fills in a missing piece of a puzzle I've been trying to solve--whether I knew it or not! Sometimes it's a call to action, because even when things happen for a reason, the truly good experiences in life don't tend to happen entirely on their own. I try to strike a balance between letting things unfold as they will, and taking the initiative to go after the things I really want.

Do you tend to dismiss or pay attention to the coincidences in your life?

Friday Forum: Military Spouses Day

Today is one of those little-known holidays that means a lot to the group that it affects -- it's Military Spouses Day. Think about the people in your life who should be honored today and take some time to thank them for the support they give their military spouses and partners.

Are you or do you know a loved one of somebody in the military? Do you think this group deserves to be honored?

Link Love for 5/5

It's been a while since we showed some love, so let's jump right into it!

Awaken Your CAREERpreneur wants to teach you how to make more and work less.

Downtown Dharma also has seemingly contradictory advice: don't speak and communicate better.

Girl w/Pen has a review of Hanna, an empowering movie with a female protagonist.

In Good Company looks at the work and family balance, and what it means when family is held against you.

Lindsay Pollak asks an important question: are you ready to "work on purpose"?

Woodhull Institute featured a few posts on binge eating that are a very worthwhile read -- here's the first.


What have you been reading and writing online? Be sure to share a link in the comments!

Understanding May 1, 2011

What a difference a few days make! Last week the news was all about Libya, Syria, the debate over President Obama’s birth certificate, and the British royal wedding. This changed irrevocably on Sunday night, when I along with many other people turned on their televisions and computers to discover the news that a certain terrorist everyone has been looking and wondering about for almost ten years was shot and killed in the special operatives’ raid in Pakistan. This too shall pass of course, but for now it is the number one story out there. The architect of the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon and so much more was exposed and has been silenced forever. Now I cannot help but wonder what is coming next for us as a country and as human beings.

I was shocked with everyone else by the news that they actually found the man in question, living in a comfortable fortress of surrounded by pastoral splendor and just a short distance away from a military training facility. While the house didn’t impress me at all, the areas were quite lovely, and reminded me of areas in my parents’ native India, and where my cousin lives in Indonesia. I am used to seeing high walls, but not fortress-sized windows and doors with barbed wire to boot.

I do recall my cousin’s neighbors’ housekeeping staff never being allowed to speak to anyone or leave their boss’s homes, not even for the Ramadan holiday. I realized this was not right immediately, but there was nothing I could do about it. I saw the policemen receiving bribes everyday from employees of the first Indonesian schools; I worked with some of them there, so I knew that local police would be the least likely to do much (if anything) to respond and remedy the situation for them. In other words, I understand why Bin Laden’s unknowing neighbors had no idea who he was. Of course, Pakistan’s military and intelligence organizations have some serious explaining to do.

What are your thought about this past weekend?

Unleashing My Inner Theater Geek

A little-known fact about me: I had childhood dreams of being on Broadway. In elementary school and junior high, I was in school productions of Guys and Dolls (twice) and West Side Story. My dream role was Anita and I was convinced that when it had its next revival, I would somehow quit my job, audition, and blow everyone away even though I was completely inexperienced. Alas, that didn't happen -- shocker of all shockers, I know.

What did stick from this time was a love for theater. I keep track of upcoming shows, I read reviews, I look out for gossip on my favorite shows... I'm not as obsessive as I could be, it just seems to surprise people how much I care considering I'm not in the business. But on days like today when the Tony nominations come out, I get to blend in with all the other people who are equally excited.

And excited I am! So please forgive me while I get all theater geek on you today.

I got to watch The Book of Mormon just a couple of days before its opening night, and I had a great time. I'm not at all surprised it got 14 nominations, but there are other shows I'm also happy for. The Scottsboro Boys, for example, is one show I missed because it closed so quickly and I was bummed because it seemed like an incredible show. It seems the committee agreed! Nominations for The Merchant of Venice are also well-deserved, and I'm glad Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson was nominated for something.

I'm surprised Sister Act received so many nominations (it seems a bit boring to me...), but I'm even more surprised that Wonderland wasn't nominated for anything at all. Reviews weren't great and people either love it or hate it, but it doesn't take a genius to see that the costume design on that show is awesome! From the videos I've seen, the lighting is pretty good too. Bummer.

I'll spare you more of my geekiness and leave it at that, but here's a warning that I may be back with another theater-lovin' post when the Tony awards air this summer. Can't. Wait.

Do you love theater? What do you think of the nominations?

Techie Woes, Part II

There are few things that frustrate me more than when my computer or my internet fails to work properly. Despite harboring a wholehearted desire to be online less, and out in the world more, I find that a huge percentage of my time is spent tied to the little pieces of technological equipment that populate my life. Laptop. Printer. Cell phone. E-reader. Cable box.

After a late night and a morning spent wrestling with my wireless internet router, I feel reminded of my extreme reliance on these little devices--how great they are when they work, and how much they mess with everything when they don't.

The world is moving faster, it seems. Being "offline" for less than a day has set my work week back by more time than that, somehow. I've collected a surprising backlog of emails, in a world where everyone expects a quick turnaround response. I couldn't access my calendar, couldn't confirm the timetable for an upcoming flight. I missed my New York Times alerts, which would have let me know to turn on the t.v. last night because major world events are busy occurring.

I don't think of myself as someone who's always in a rush, or who needs to know every update the exact moment it happens. But I'm reminded over and over again lately how infused these tech tools are into my everyday life. I find myself reflecting on the New York City blackout of six or seven years ago, when we collectively found ourselves with nothing at all to do. Are we all about technology now?

What do you think? Are you an all-plugged-in tech junkie? What else do you rely on in your life?