Take Back Your Health

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Drs. Josh and Jay as guest bloggers this week, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Drs. Josh and Jay Handt are Chiropractors located on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Their office, The New York Chiropractic Life Center, has been serving NYC since 1978, and has been consistently recognized as the "Best of New York Chiropractors."


Chiropractic as an alternative to conventional drugs and surgery looks at your health in a very different and unique way. Chiropractic is the second largest primary health care profession in the world, focusing on the detection and correction of interference to the proper functioning of the nervous system (master control system). This interference is caused by misalignments in the spine. Knowing that your nervous system controls everything that goes on in your body from breathing to healing, you can begin to see how any interference to it can affect every aspect of your health and life.

When it comes to women's health, the trend has been to categorize normal female body functions as diseases. This fact alone has generated billions of dollars for the medical and pharmaceutical industries with little or no improvement in the quality of women's health and longevity. The creation of medical specialties in the field of women's health care for such things as Female Sexual Dysfunction, PMS, fertility and menopause has created over 300 drugs geared specifically to women, which are being pushed on the unsuspecting female population.

In our office, we analyze your health and spine through in-house x-ray, computer diagnostics (certified by the Space Foundation), which measures your level nervous system function, in addition to computerized posture analysis, a thorough history, and a hands on Chiropractic exam to enable us to provide you with the safest, gentlest chiropractic care available. Our goal is to bring good health to life, especially yours.

Now that you are ready to take control of your health, call our office within the next 4 weeks and receive a free no obligation consultation and spinal analysis ($210+ value). This is our gift to you as part of TWM's World of Wellness!!

Showing Up

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Judy as a guest blogger this week, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Judy Griffin is a Certified Holistic Health & Wellness Coach, loving wife and mom of four. Her life long passion for health and wellness led her to a career where she can empower busy women to nourish their way to a vibrant life.


I recently lost a special friend and one thing that struck me is how her presence touched so many lives. Sue always showed up with love, sunshine, grace and compassion. She shared in your happiness and celebrated the good times but more importantly she listened, supported and embraced you in the sad times. She rarely if ever chose to complain, judge or gossip. Sue was a true gift and we will miss her smiles, hugs and beautiful nature.

This got me thinking about how much showing up matters. How do you show up in your life? Is the best of you shining through? Or is something holding you back? Managing our emotions plays a key role and when in balance, our authentic self is released.

Of course balance is a constant challenge. Can you remember the last time you felt inspired and energized? Perhaps you can’t because you are feeling depressed or stressed. As women, nurturers and caretakers we can often get lost in the shuffle and minimize the importance of self-care. This can have detrimental effects on our health so we need to remember that it’s all connected! Our emotions are in the driver seat so we can’t thrive if we suppress them.

Feeling disconnected is a signal to tune in and assess what is driving your emotions, behavior and cravings. It often starts with the many faces of nourishment and making a nutritional shift can have a positive impact. When we neglect ourselves in some way, we feed an imbalance that can result in unhealthy habits which compromise our system, leaving us susceptible to illness.

"Food is a meditation, a sadhana and a prayer.
Good food is a virtue. Food can change your attitude,
your behavior, your future, your present;
it can change your health, wealth, happiness, everything." Yogi Bhajan

Mindful choices and awareness connect our body, soul & spirit. Take a moment to turn your focus inward to assess your health, choices, and intentions. Determine if the real you is showing up and if not, then I warmly invite you to visit my website, complete a health profile and schedule a complimentary breakthrough session. Together we will explore your lifestyle to determine goals and action steps in order to carve out your unique path to optimal wellness.

Juicing and Detoxing My Way

When I make big changes in my life, I want to make a fresh start. This requires considerable effort from me, and one of the things I have decided to do is to concentrate on my health. My days of going through drive-through windows may not be over, but I plan to make much healthier choices when it comes to the food I eat. One way I plan to do this is by starting a juice fast and avoiding two staples in my diet.

This isn’t the first time I have done a juice fast. A few years ago, my sister and I went through one together for a few days, and it was very enlightening. I found myself not craving solid foods at all during the process, because all of the vegetables I was consuming in one glass filled me up. My vision was sharper, and I felt an overall sense of positivity.

When Kristina suggested a juice fast at last week’s “Thursdays at Three” meeting, I knew I had to do it again. I took her suggestions into consideration and did my own research to create a plan that is right for me. I will do a juice fast this week using the knowledge of experts on the subject of “juicing” and overall health. Even after the fast in complete, I will use my juicer weekly to supplement one meal with a fully satisfying glass of vegetable and fruit juice.

I don’t believe in dieting, but I do believe in eating healthy and knowing which foods to minimize or avoid all together. I never drink soda, I hardly drink store-bought juice, but I do have dairy and wheat products often, and I will be giving both up for the next month as part of my detox program. Giving up wheat will be very difficult, since it is in everything! But I am determined to choose gluten-free alternatives and to read all labels.

Does anyone have any juicing and/or detox advice to share?

For the Love of Wacky Challenges

One thing I’ve noticed lately is that I love a wacky challenge! It seems that ever since my sister and I started talking seriously about our ever-growing desire to compete on the Amazing Race, my competitive spirit is starting to rise to the surface much more than usual.

Most recently, this came up when a foodie friend of mine mentioned the Foodie Photo Scavenger Hunt. A food blogger that she loves was running his second annual scavenger hunt in NYC to win tickets to a major charity event, Toast to the Children. The hunt would take us around NYC doing things like holding a spotted pig outside The Spotted Pig, trying to cut the line at Shake Shack, and snapping a shot with five guys outside Five Guys Burgers. Her excitement about the prize and my excitement about the challenge sealed the deal and, with only 24 hours to map out a plan of action, we were committed.

We had our setbacks – a late start, a few unplanned pit stops, strange weather, major subway problems, etc. – and we spent entirely too much money, but it was one of the best times I’ve had in a while. In the end, we had over 100 photos documenting our adventure (you can check out a bunch here, though I’m not in most of them – I was the photographer). We didn’t end up winning, but we did get second place which still got us tickets to the event.

Of course, it wouldn’t have mattered if we hadn’t gotten second place, because the experience itself was great. But it sure was exciting to find out that the 50 hours we spent running around the city was being rewarded.

Standing in Solidarity

I recently participated in a demonstration by the Uyghur American Association, urging the United Nations to defend the human rights of the Uyghur people of Northwest China. I learned of the issue from a writer friend, who wrote a novel about the region.

Until recently, I (like most Americans) had never heard of the Uyghurs, a Turkic, Muslim people who reside in East Turkistan, in the northwest province of China. Like the people of Tibet, the Uyghurs are a minority group being oppressed by the Chinese government. Increased police presence has forced the Uyghurs to practice their religion in secret, as their language and culture is slowly stripped from them by the Han Chinese majority. Teenage Uyghur girls are frequently exported (and exploited) to labor in factories in Southern China. All live under fear of “disappearance,” especially those who show any political activity.

I haven’t done much demonstrating lately, so it felt good to be walking with a sign, even for a cause I can’t really claim as “mine.” The air was chilly, and the crowd small, but they made up for their numbers with fervor. I meant to make a token appearance, but I ended up marching enthusiastically alongside the group of excited teenagers who formed the bulk of the demonstration. A sixteen-year-old Uyghur-American boy brought all his school friends to help out. I felt excited to see these young guys standing up for something important. Their hand-lettered signs showed they had put a lot of thought into the event beforehand.

The organizers secured permits for the demonstration route, but we met with a lot of resistance from several building staffs. My pulse raced with righteous indignation when one building manager came out of a high rise to shoo us away. “We own this sidewalk,” she said, threatening to call the cops. “It’s private property.” When the police came, they stood up for the demonstration, confirming our permit and our right to stand on a public sidewalk. I admit to being a bit jaded about law enforcement at times, but these four officers restored my faith as they protected our right to free speech and assembly. I felt proud to be an American right then.

Smile in Your Liver

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.


In the best-selling book Eat, Pray, Love, Liz Gilbert visits a holy man in Bali who gives her a meditation to 'smile in every part of your body, even in your liver'. This is a great way to activate the feelings of joy within...even just reading that makes you feel a little lighter and more relaxed doesn't it?

Well, if that doesn't do it, then what will? Whatever the thought or image is, make sure you get a daily dose in order to keep yourself young, happy and at peace. Doing so has numerous health benefits and when identified and used properly, is cheaper and better than any diet pill, drug or food out there!

Whether savoring a scoop of gelato, relishing in a job well-done, experiencing a romantic moment, or watching an episode of Glee, recognize and cherish those moments you feel joyful. Try to sustain and bathe in the sensation for as long as you can and be able to recall it when you need it the most.

I recently attended a friend's musical that had me smiling from ear to ear, and from my heart, gut and, yes, even my liver for an hour and a half. If he had not followed his calling to create, I would not have enjoyed the positive mental, physical and emotional benefits that came along with it.

Everyone has the capacity to bring joy to the world, or at least to someone else. If you don't believe me or are not quite sure how, gimme a buzz -because my work gives me such joy, it would be my pleasure, literally, to help you figure it out!

Find Your Own Groove

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Robin as a guest blogger today, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Robin Fischman is a Certified Holistic Health Counselor who works with busy professionals to help them reach their health and wellness goals. She creates a supportive environment where people are coached to make gradual food and lifestyle changes that last a lifetime.


When was the last time you talked to someone about your health?

Are you confused about all the health and diet information that's out there? Are you asking yourself should I be eating a low carb diet? Are all fats bad? Do you find yourself mindlessly eating? Are you having trouble losing those last 10 lbs?

Health and wellbeing is a personal journey. What works for one person may not work for another. It's important for each of us to find our way to the diet and lifestyle that supports our well being.

Here are a few simple things you can do to discover what the best foods are for you.

1) Slow down and tune into your body. Eat slowly, chew thoroughly and focus on the meal you are eating. Check in with yourself after eating a meal. How do you feel 20 minutes after eating? How about two hours later? How is your mood? How is your focus? Do you feel tired? Or do you feel energized?

2) Eat whole foods and grains and avoid processed foods at all costs. The more processed a food is the less nutritional value it has. Foods that are closer to the source are more easily digested and provide your body with the energy it needs to get through your busy day.

3) Find exercise and movement that make you happy. Turn up the music and dance. Try a power walk outside in the fresh air. Take a lap or two around the office in the middle of the day. Change up your exercise routine, try a new class.

4) Talk to a Holistic Health Counselor who is trained to listen and help you to find what works best for you. You will work together in a supportive environment and make gradual diet and lifestyle changes that will help you find balance in your life and allow you to reach your health and wellness goals and live the life you love. Do something good for yourself! Schedule a FREE health consultation today.

Everyday Health and Fitness

We are constantly inundated with health advice that is very confusing at times. One report may say that eating meat is better for weight loss; another says eliminating all animal products is the best option. Exercising three times a week is adequate according to some reports, but recently I heard that one hour every day is essential. I know that each person is unique, with different health concerns and metabolism levels, so what works for some may not work for others. Consultation with a trusted doctor is our best bet to formulating effective fitness and health plans, but most of us don’t even think of it. I know I haven’t, and I have health insurance.

Starting and maintaining a fitness regime is difficult because most of us are intimidated by the time and effort required to make it successful. Time management and discipline are key factors, and most of us struggle with both. I know that I do, and I make a concerted effort to do something physically active every day. I take stairs instead of an elevator whenever I can, I make sure to walk rigorously whenever I can, I stand up and do leg stretches every hour if I am sitting in front of the computer for extended periods of time, etc. I have to remind myself constantly to do these things, but it is worth the effort, in my opinion. I have much more to do, but I do believe that I am on the right path when it comes to fitness.

Do you find daily physical fitness a challenge or is it a natural part of your everyday routine?

A Change in Resolutions

If you remember from my posts a few months ago, I made a short-term resolution for the start of the New Year to focus on my health and fitness. For the first three months, I tried going to the gym as often as I could, I went to hot yoga at least once a week, and I paid more attention to the food I was eating. At the end of March, I felt great! Since then, however, it’s been a spiral back to where I was before.

Part of the problem is the fact that I have so much going on right now; my health is the last thing on my list. As I mentioned last week, I can barely keep up with the networking, brunching, wining and dining – making time for the gym seems near impossible. Remembering to eat is becoming a problem because I get so focused on my tasks at work. Add to that the endless supply of soda in the office and the free (not-quite healthy) munchies we often get, and my diet is definitely not at its best.

Funnily enough, my guy’s commitment to his own physical fitness is starting to intimidate me. He goes to the gym every day, no matter what. If it means getting to the gym at 10 following an after-work event or getting up early on a day when his schedule is packed after work, he does it. Even when I was focusing on my health, there were several days I just didn’t make it to the gym. It almost feels like if I can’t be as committed as he is, it’s a waste.

So even though my resolution for the second quarter of the year was to get my travel plans lined up, I’m going to bring the focus back to health and fitness for the next couple of months. If I don’t make the effort, then I won’t see the changes, so I’m ready to get back on track!

Seeking: Fitness Options That Fit

I'm kicking off our week of blogging about health and fitness, as part of TWM's World of Wellness month!

I consider myself a fairly healthy person. I eat my veggies. I get my check-ups. But, I must admit, it would be a bit of a stretch to say that I focus strongly on fitness in my daily life. I've thought about this quite a bit lately. As a work-from-home author, there are days when I barely leave the confines of my little apartment, let alone get any significant exercise.

I do enjoy walking regularly, and when the weather's good I'm willing to walk home from just about anywhere in the city. But I don't tend to just go outside for a walk, unless I have a place to go and purpose for going there. So it doesn't happen every day.

A year or two ago, I tried working with a personal trainer, which worked out for a while. It gave me a consistent time to exercise, and he showed me how to use weight training machines, which I partially enjoyed. I stopped when my first batch of sessions ran out, because weight training isn't really what works best for me, personally. I need aerobic exercise more than I need to build muscle. My natural strength and muscle tone emerges when I keep my heart pumping regularly.

The thing is, I know what I really want to do for exercise. I want to swim or resume the ballroom dancing lessons I took years ago. The challenge has been finding an option for either one that is both convenient and affordable. That's probably not a great excuse. Maybe it's time I started seeking new options again!

Friday Forum: Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day weekend, a great time to celebrate not only ourselves and our mothers, but also the other women who have influenced your life.

How do you celebrate the mother figures in your life? Will you be celebrating with them this weekend?

We Want YOU for a World of Wellness

As we announced last week, TWM is celebrating a World of Wellness this month (you can still sign up to be a sponsor!). Part of this focus will carry over to CHICKS ROCK! next week as we feature posts all about health, wellness, and fitness.

Have you been looking for a chance to guest blog on CHICKS ROCK! but weren't sure what to write about? Or have you been a guest blogger before and want to come back? Here's a great chance to write about something that affects so many of us. Do you have a physical or mental health problem? Do you struggle to maintain a healthy weight or diet? Did you recently reach a health or fitness goal?

Check out our guest blogger guidelines and submit a guest post! We can't wait to hear from you.

Thoughts On Forgiveness

Forgiveness is difficult for most of us; for some it is almost impossible. I am will to forgive anyone who has wronged me if they are sincere. But what do you do when you find yourself forgiving someone many times for the same thing? When does forgiveness end and detachment begin?

When I was recently asked to accept an apology I have heard many times over the years, I was surprised at how calm I was. I was relieved for other person, because he was obviously wracked with guilt and remorse for what he had done. As for myself, I was just glad the whole ordeal was over, but there were no other stronger feelings (negative or positive) that were aroused in me. The only way I can explain how I felt was that I accepted the other person for who he is. He also told me that he will never change, which deepened my acceptance of the situation.

Forgiving and forgetting are two things that should be done together, but I am wary of the latter. I can certainly forgive, but forgetting is an entirely different issue. If the wrong done to me was one-time incident, then I can do both. But I think that both become irrelevant if the transgressor is a repeat offender who continues to do the same thing over and over again; I never want to think of myself as a gullible fool who is constantly taken advantage of by those who think that kindness and forgiveness are acts of weakness. I also find that I cannot forget someone else's transgressions towards me completely, because the lessons learned from the experience would be lost as well.

The trick is to never sink to the other person's level, especially if they play dirty. I would never treat anyone the way I was treated, which makes me feel especially good. I feel like I am breaking the cycle of negativity so I can move on to more positive things in my life.

Can you forgive and forget completely? Why or why not?

Over-Scheduled, Under-Organized

One thing I’ve always been good at is staying organized. Ever since high school, my planner was my best friend. I never went anywhere without it and if it didn’t fit in my bag, I’d carry a small pencil and some of those tiny post-its so I could write down an important event and stick it in my planner when I got home. Yep, I was that anal about it.

For some reason, it’s been really hard to keep up with things lately. I wrote a bit about this when I left my iPhone behind a few months back, but it’s only gotten worse. I have at least one event or outing I’m invited to every day, whether it’s an after-work networking event, dinner with friends, the NY Tech Meetup, a relative’s birthday party, a Sunday brunch, etc. It feels nice to know that there are so many people in my network of friends and acquaintances, and that work-related functions like workshops and conferences are interesting enough to keep me busy… but it sure is hard to balance it all.

All of these invites mean that I often agree to spend time with somebody without realizing I’ve already committed that date to something else. In the past few weeks, I’ve double-booked not once but three times! A friend of mine keeps jokingly telling me I need to hire an assistant to keep track of my social calendar. And to think that just over a year ago, I was complaining about not having enough to do.

Needless to say, it’s about time for me to get myself organized again. My planner is small, but not small enough to take with me everywhere. My iPhone would be an obvious solution, but I’m not a fan of the calendar. Maybe I should buy some tiny pens and post-its to go back to my college routine.

How do you stay organized? Do you have a hard time keeping track of your social calendar?

Controversial Cleavage

The clothing company Lane Bryant recently reported that a new ad featuring a plus-size model has been censored from prime time network television because the models were "too sexy" and showing too much skin. Meanwhile, the same networks aired a Victoria's Secret ad in prime time. A case of size discrimination? Here is a link to a Jezebel article that better outlines the controversy, but I thought I'd post the video here, too.

This is the Lane Bryant ad, which ABC and FOX have reportedly refused to run during Dancing with the Stars and American Idol, respectively:

Now, I'm the first to agree that the plus-size model (she's size 16) is sexier than any size 0. (Full round hips vs. protruding hip bones? Generous cleavage vs. exposed ribs? No contest.) We've all known for a while now that, although it's great to be slender in a healthy way, women's bodies are meant to curve and carry a bit of fat in certain places. (Let's face it, there's a reason why we need lingerie in the first place....)

What I actually find fascinating about this is how any television network can argue with a straight face that they believe bigger women to be sexier. These are the same network execs who have spent the last few decades spoonfeeding us images of increasingly thin women, calling them sexy, and turning the regular girls among us upside-down with self-doubt, because it's just not real to be that thin.

The networks have denied the accusations of discrimination, and may ultimately even run the ad. Still, it would be naive to think that the TV studios are coming around to a healthier way of looking at women. No, I believe that they are using "sexy" as an excuse to keep these images out of the public eye as long as possible. Because once these sexy, full-figured ladies make the limelight, the lies the networks spent half a century building will begin to break down. The public might just start to demand "sexy" women in all their TV fare. For networks built on such a... slim... foundation, that would mean starting over from scratch. And they don't want to.

Friday Forum: Physical Fitness

In case you've forgotten since last year, May is Physical Fitness Month. We've written a lot on the blog about how to get and stay healthy, inside and out and we want to know if you've made any changes in your life.

How have you started to focus on your mental and physical health? Has it become a top priority for you, or are you still struggling with putting yourself first?

Welcome a World of Wellness

We're excited to share with you a great initiative from TWM starting in a couple of weeks: TWM’s World of Wellness Month happening from May 10 – June 11, 2010. Right now, we're reaching out to those of you who want a chance to reach a targeted audience of over 5,000 to showcase your business, product or service! Check out the details below:

Last year we celebrated TWM’S FOCUS ON FITNESS & HEALTH with three live events; this year we are extending the program for an entire month which will include:
*Virtual Health Fair (similar to our Virtual Holiday Bazaar) five blasts beginning 5/14,
*Dedicated week (5/10-5/14) of guest posts about health and fitness on our blog CHICKS ROCK!,
*Live Health Fair the second week in June (weekday evening 6:30-9:00pm date and location TBD).
*TWM World of Wellness Resource Guide to be distributed both in print and online.
*Passport to Wellness Coupons/Blast
*Special fitness classes and more!

Benefits to you include:
*exposure of your business to over 5,000+ women and men
*opportunity to educate women about the variety of ways to live a healthy life
*demonstrate support for and be associated with a non-profit organization dedicated to empowering women

Sponsorship investment ranges from $35 to $500. For more information and to request a registration form, send an email to info@thewomensmosaic.org

We'll be sure to keep everyone updated about World of Wellness Month - can't wait for you to enjoy it all.

My Moving Operation

Moving from one place to another is a major operation, especially if you have lived and accumulated so much for a long period of time. I know this because I am in process of moving, and it is not easy to decide what to take, what to get rid of, and everything in between. I am lucky because I can go back and forth from my current home (which is just a few minutes away from my apartment) after I move to take care of things, but I know many don’t have these conveniences.

A successful move requires organization and planning ahead. Without these two important factors, the process can be chaotic and even painful. I am trying to be smart by moving in my things gradually (another unique advantage I have) everyday, so when my official moving day arrives, there will be more order and less strain, because there will be fewer things to move. This gradual move is also helping me eliminate clutter, which can be a problem in a smaller space. I take the time to reserve packing materials so they don’t lie on my floors collecting dust; I can always reuse them to pack my other belongings, or recycle them if they are unusable. I feel good each time I leave my new place, because even though my moving operation is a work in progress, I can see how my organizing efforts are making the process a much more tolerable experience.

Another important thing to remember about moving (and almost anything else in life) is that unexpected things will probably happen. Items may break, appliances may stop working, the rug may be too small for the room, etc., but these are not tragedies. Some things are out of my control, but I find that having a sense of humor and asking for assistance when I need it helps me maintain the proper perspective about my moving operation.

Do you have any moving tips to share?

Not Your Mother's Uniform

In the past few months, I lost some weight and inches around my body. Because a lot of my clothes were already a bit roomy to begin with, most of them didn’t fit anymore and once I purged my closet, it had next to nothing in it. So I went on mini shopping sprees, buying a few items at a time whenever I saved up the money. Now that I've done this a few times, I realized just how much I worry about looking the right way, and having enough variety so that people don’t think I only own a handful of tops.

I feel like so many of us – especially women – feel pressure to not wear the same thing every day. We assume that at least one person out there is paying attention to what we’re wearing and would ridicule us if we wore the same thing all the time.

Thinking about this reminded me of something I learned about over the summer called The Uniform Project: a woman's wearing the same dress every day for a year to raise money for charity. She had a friend design a dress for her and had 7 identical dresses made, one for each day of the week. Each day for the past year, she’s been making her outfits unique by adding layers and accessories, wearing her dress as a top, a jacket, and, of course, a dress. Her year is almost up, and she’s raised over $75,000 for education in India.

Seeing how she was able to create new outfits every day with the same pieces has made me reconsider how I look at clothes and fashion. Considering the ways I already try to apply sustainability to fashion, I definitely think I’ll get more creative so I can keep cutting down on waste.

What do you think of The Uniform Project? Would you be able to wear the same thing every day?

Wanderlust

I’ve been craving new travel adventures lately. It hasn’t even been that long since I went anywhere. I take small vacations when I can and I travel a bit for work these days, making visits to schools, libraries, bookstores, and writing conferences around the country. Whether it’s for business or pleasure, I look forward to packing my bags and hitting the road. There’s always fun to be had away from home.

I took a cross country road trip with a friend a few years ago, from New York to California in six days. It was fantastic, and not just because I love driving and riding in cars. We experienced so much! This week I busted out my “I Survived Highway 50” t-shirt, which boasts about my successful traversing of the so-called “loneliest road in America.” I wore it and thought about how it felt to gun the engine on a literally empty highway, watching miles of open desert churn past the windows. Awesome.

I find there’s something special about simply moving forward, no matter the destination, even if there isn’t one. Time stands still when the road is wide open in front of you, or as the plane hurtles forward at its cruising altitude, or the train chugs along at just the right rhythm. And when you get where you’re going, wherever that may be, there’s something magical about wandering the streets of a strange city, seeing the sights and tasting local treats along the way.

I once read a book about a guy who wanders all the time, from place to place, seeing what he sees, working when he has to and then living off the cash for as long as he can. In a fantasy life, that sounds amazing. In reality, I have no wish to live like that; the half of me that’s not suffused with wanderlust is quite a content little homebody. How to reconcile the two? Give me a good long journey every now and then, and I’ll be a happy camper.

Friday Forum: Earth Day Every Day

Yesterday was the 40th Anniversary of Earth Day and this weekend there are events all over celebrating it. If you browsed around the internet and news sites, you were bound to find at least a few tips and resources for living green.

What do you do to live a more eco-friendly lifestyle? Are there any tips and resources you'd like to share?

Link Love for 4/22

It's about time to do another link round-up. Here's some of the great stuff we've been reading.

Girl w/Pen gives us some more information about the great U by Kotex campaign started to fight against the euphemisms used for menstruation.

Global Sisters is promoting a great event, the G(irls)20 Summit, aiming to have girls and women actively making change in the world.

In Good Company has a great post from Equal Pay Day, focusing particularly on how this might affect women entrepreneurs and business owners.

Lindsey Pollak shares her podcast on "modern moonlighting" among young professionals who have a full-time job, with other pursuits on the side.

Savvy Ladies wants us to have a spring cleaning session on our investment portfolios - if you don't have one yet, use this as a chance to start one!

Writeous Chicks makes sure we feel less alone in our messed-up-ness by sharing the insights of an Imperfect Bird.

Don't forget to add links to what you've been writing and reading in the comments.

Three Tips For Positivity

People who know me know that I am a positive person with a realistic outlook on life. I consider myself a strong person, but I am not afraid to talk and think about things that scare me; I try to think up solutions on how to conquer my fears.

Everyone has different ways of coping and looking at life, but I find that a few simple techniques really help me remain positive and focused on what is truly important in life.

1. Taking deep breaths is essential. I learned this when I was about to take on the Inca Trail a few years ago; my guide told me that my heart would go before my legs would, and deep breathing stops this from happening. I battled elevation sickness, but I remembered what my guide said as I kept pushing myself for four days. When my fellow trekkers and I made it to our final destination, Machu Picchu, we still had the energy to walk up and down the stone steps in the hot sun. I always remember to take deep breaths every day, because they make me feel good.

2. Laughter really is the best medicine. I try to laugh every day, because it eliminates tension. I needed this recently after a difficult encounter with a very negative person. I walked away from the experience calmly, and laughed about it later because I realized how ridiculous the whole situation was. I put it all in perspective, and found humor in it. Obviously this doesn’t work all the time, but I try to watch a funny movie or TV show to make me laugh, if I can’t find anything in my life to laugh about.

3. Visiting special places help me when I want to get away from it all. Parks and gardens are my favorite places to escape to for an hour or more, and I make an effort to do so at least once a week. These mini-excursions are beneficial to me, and I love how I feel after one of them.

How do you stay positive?

Blogging for Equal Pay Day

Many of you probably don’t know this, but today is Equal Pay Day. As somebody whose major in college was women’s studies, I’ve long been aware of the wage gap that persists and have stayed on top of the facts now that it affects me much more. Here's some info:

On average, women make roughly 77 cents to each dollar a man makes. For example, a recent study found that women make $4,600 less than men in their first post-MBA job. Minorities also face a wage gap, and not only because of differences in education. The difference among women is also a problem – the wage gap between mothers and non-mothers is widening. Just this week, we learned that women who have children at an older age aren’t as heavily penalized on the equal pay front as women who have children at a younger age.

There are a lot of factors at play here, but I want to bring attention to one part of it that is within our control, and that’s salary negotiation.

Of all the women friends I have, there are only two I can think of who have ever tried to negotiate their salary – one negotiated her starting salary and the other negotiated a raise. I have to admit that even I had never negotiated a salary until my most recent job offer, even with all of my knowledge about how important it is to negotiate at every level. While every negotiation you make will not always result in the outcome you want or need, it’s still crucial to make the effort and the fact is that a lot of women don't.

Aside from that course of action we can take in our own careers, it’s also good to educate ourselves and others. The National Committee on Pay Equity website has a lot of facts and figures, along with resources on evaluating your company’s practices, learning about the Paycheck Fairness Act, and so forth. So get out there and make every day Equal Pay Day until Equal Pay is a reality.

For the Love of Paperbacks

This week I went to the bookstore to find a copy of my book in paperback. It was just released, and I found copies already on the shelf, which I was quite pleased about. Seeing The Rock and the River in paperback made it feel real to me in a whole new way.

I love paperback books. I grew up reading them. They were the ones I checked out from the teen section of the library (dozens at a time), and the only ones I could convince my mom to buy in the bookstore. They opened easily and I never felt bad about dog-earing pages. Hard covers always seemed to me like a waste of time, a showpiece, not a real book for real people to enjoy. If I was a teen reader today, paperback is the version of the book that would have caught my eye. I feel excited to think about all the new eyes that will fall upon the story now that it’s in a friendlier, more accessible form.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve come to appreciate what hard cover books have to offer. They look great on a bookshelf. They’re nice keepsakes, especially if you can get a first edition with an autograph. They’re sure to last longer, and they come with coats so they won’t even get too dusty. All in all, a neat package, and as an author, I can’t help but note that they bring me more royalties. Still, my heart lies with paperback. Those are the books I still want to curl up with on a rainy Saturday, and tuck into my purse just in case I get a seat on the subway. Those are the ones I reach for when I’m too tired to think and just want to slide into a story.

This is mostly about me celebrating my book’s evolution into a new format, but it’s also an homage to the many, many nameless, faceless paperbacks that did their part to help make me into a devoted reader, enthusiastic writer and now, published author.

Hooray for paperback books!

Friday Forum: Change of Plans

If you've been keeping up with the volcanic activity in Iceland, then you already know that many airports have closed because of the ash cloud over Europe. We don't want to downplay the situation, but we couldn't help but wonder what it's like to extend a vacation because of grounded air travel.

If you took a trip and were suddenly forced to extend your vacation by a few days, what would you do with your extra time?

Would you try to work remotely? Would you take it as a chance to explore a neighboring city? How would you make the best of this bad situation?

Find Your Voice, Spread the Word

We don't have a guest post lined up for you today, but wouldn't you love to write one?!

Are you struggling with something significant - weight loss, finding your passion, making a commitment? Has something happened in your life that you want to brag about - new job, new relationship, new hobby? Did you learn something recently that you want to share with others - getting organized, becoming healthier, living on your own?

This is your chance to speak your mind or share your news while contributing to this community you're such an important part of!

Browse through our archive of guest blogger posts if you're in need of ideas, but it'd also be great to read some posts about something that hasn't been covered yet. Be sure to look through our guidelines and submit a post today.

Where The Jobs Are

Like many Americans, I am looking for a steady job. There is so much information in the media about the recovering economy and job growth, but like many others, I haven’t seen these improvements yet. I know that I have to be open to moving to another part of the United States, or even another country. It is all about where the jobs are, and that means taking risks.

I am not unfamiliar with this. When I received my ESL teaching certification a few years ago, I decided to teach abroad for at least one year. I was a little scared to leave the U.S. for Indonesia; the only person I knew who lived there was a cousin I met once when I was a little girl. The first few months after I arrived were difficult, because I was constantly getting sick, and the workplace culture at the two schools I worked in was very corrupt. Despite all of this, I made a life for myself there. I made friends, learned to speak a little of the language, and traveled to some beautiful locales. In short, I adapted to my surroundings, even though I was counting the days until my teaching contract would be complete. I proved to myself that since I made it in Indonesia, I can make it almost anywhere I want to go.

I plan to move twice this year; once at the end of this month, and the next before the end of this year. The first move is a transitional one, because I will still be living near New York City, but my plans are to relocate to out of the area completely. I just know that my next opportunity is somewhere else, and I am ready to take it on, whatever it is. I am looking forward to the future, even with all of the uncertainties surrounding me.

Would you relocate for the right job, even if it means leaving everything and everyone you know behind?

A Commute Disrupted

I recently started a new job and with that new job comes a new commute. It’s much closer to my home than my previous job; a 15-minute walk, to be exact. When I first realized this, I got really excited. I love walking and have been known to walk to and from my previous job during nice weather, even if it was a 50- to 60-minute walk. But now that I’ve actually tried out this commute, it occurs to me that there was something I was forgetting: reading.

You see, I normally do most of my reading on my commute to work. A 30-minute ride in public transportation is great for getting through a couple of chapters in a good book. A 15-minute walk, however, would be quite dangerous if there were any books thrown into the mix. I tried taking the bus this morning in the hopes that I could get through at least a few pages, but the bus ride was only 10 minutes long – not even enough time to get back into my book.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t make me less excited about starting my new job. My job will be fun and the people seem great, but what on earth is a bookworm to do without a commute during which to read her books?!

I suppose it doesn’t help that my schedule in general for the past two weeks has been even more hectic than usual. Or that the next two weeks will continue to be just as bad. Usually, this amount of pressure and stress is easily alleviated with a good dose of reading at the start and end of my days.

How will I find the time to do what I love doing most? Any suggestions?

The Woman King

Her name is Peggielene Bartels, age 55. She lives in Silver Springs, Maryland, and works as a secretary in the Ghanaian Embassy. Only, now she has a second name, and a second job, back in her home country, where she hasn’t lived since the late 1970s. Ms Bartels was recently dubbed Nana Amuah Afenyi VI, King of Otuam, Ghana, an oceanside village of 7,000 fishermen, farmers and merchants.

That’s right, I wrote “king.” In Otuam, a person of either gender can become King—though, up until now the concept of a woman ruler has only been theoretical. The Washington Post recently featured a story about Ms Bartels, documenting her travels from the United States back to her home community, where she was gazetted (anointed/crowned) and accepted her place as King.

At the headline level, the tale seems simply exciting and quirky. A woman king. Looking deeper, the fact that the community had no different name for a woman ruler could be seen either as a mark of true gender equity, or a mark of extreme patriarchy. I suppose it doesn’t matter anymore which it was, because Peggielene Bartels is in power now, for better or worse.

Scratch that—it’s definitely better. In her first year as King, Ms. Bartels confronted corruption and embezzlement within the circle of elders, creating bank accounts and financial transparency. She appointed a new circle of advisors to the King, including younger men and several women. She treated the village men with heavy-handed authority, so they would not view her as weak, and treated the women with gentle compassion, because they understood that. “I don’t have to be so tough with women,” she said of the difference.

Robed in traditional Ghanaian garments, she returned to her life and work in the U.S., prepared to look after her Otuam community from afar, raising funds and implementing programs to improve the quality of life for everyone there.

If anyone still doubts that women leaders can make the world a better place, Peggielene Bartels is out to prove them wrong.

Friday Forum: Spring Break

We've spent the past week on a virtual "spring break," but we want to hear about everyone else's real spring break.

Have any of you recently gone on a vacation, or do you have plans to go on one some time this year? If so, where are you going and for how long? If not, where would you like to go if you had the chance?

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 4

It's "spring break" at CHICKS ROCK! Instead of our regular posts this week, we're highlighting some of the issues and topics we've covered.

Today, we want you to take a look at our archive of posts from guest bloggers. See what they've had to say and give your own take. If you want to submit a guest post, check out our guest blogger guidelines and send one in.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 3

It's "spring break" at CHICKS ROCK! Instead of our regular posts this week, we're highlighting some of the issues and topics we've covered.

Today, we want you to take a look at our archive of posts about books and reading. See what we've had to say and give your own take.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 2

It's "spring break" at CHICKS ROCK! Instead of our regular posts this week, we're highlighting some of the issues and topics we've covered.

Today, we want you to take a look at our archive of posts about careers. See what we've had to say and give your own take.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 1

As we did last year around this time, we're taking a "spring break" at CHICKS ROCK! Instead of our regular posts this week, we're highlighting some of the issues and topics we've covered.

Today, we want you to take a look at our archive of posts about culture. See what we've had to say and give your own take.

Friday Forum: Celebrity Buzz

Celebrity gossip and news is everywhere nowadays - newspapers, magazines, news shows, even social networking sites. It seems people can't get enough!

Do you follow celebrity news, whether willingly or not? If so, where do you usually find the information? If not, how are you able to stay away from it?

Link Love for 4/1

Our last Link Love post was only a short while ago, but there's already enough great links for another round-up. Check them out!

Girl w/Pen has an interesting post about the concept of free love and how it should be applied.

Global Sisters celerates the women of hip hop breaking boundaries around the
world.

In Good Company considers what it is to do "meaningful work" and how to create that feeling for yourself.

Lindsey Pollak's blog takes on spring cleaning for your career - get your work life organized.

One Writeous Chicks writes about something we all face constantly: what to do with struggle.

Savvy Ladies wants us to know the characteristics of a successful financial plan.

That's what we've got for this week. Leave the links to things you've been reading and writing online in the comments section.

Email Spring Cleaning

The first official day of spring was March 20th, but I always feel that the season truly begins after the Easter and Passover holidays. I also almost ran over a bunny rabbit that darted in front of my car recently, which I took as a sign: winter is over, and I have some spring cleaning to do. While I have old clothes, books, and other items to give away, I realize that the most significant reduction I must make is online. Yes, it is time for me to get rid of my emails!

I have four different email addresses, and each inbox contains more than one hundred messages, not to mention the hundreds more I have in my sent folders. I readily delete from my trash, spam and draft folders whenever possible, but there is something about the inbox and sent folders that make me want to hold on. I realize that while I have some issues with hoarding tangible items, it is the virtual clutter that really is a problem for me.

I think the reason I am holding on to all of this excess is because of laziness. When I go online, I want to do research, write emails, write blog posts, read articles, and pay bills; deleting old emails from my inbox and sent folders is something that does not even come to my mind. When it does, I make excuses for not taking the time to go through it all to make the necessary deletions. Even though I cannot touch it, I know the email clutter is there online, waiting for me.

My plan is to delete a little every day. Any new emails I receive or create will also be trimmed down in number so I do not accumulate new clutter on top of the old. For anyone who wants to get rid of their virtual excess, I would suggest doing the same, and concentrating on one email address a day, if you have multiple accounts like me.

Do you have virtual clutter? How do you handle it?

Breaking Boundaries 2.0

I’ve been active on various social networks for many years now. My favorite network has been Twitter, which started as a place where I interacted mostly with other bloggers and feminists. We talked theory, live-tweeted conferences, and debated politics. As more and more people I knew in real life started joining Twitter, I interacted with them on a more personal level. I engaged with my Twitter followers differently, from political types I know only online, to feminists I’ve met because of my online presence, and friends I hardly ever interact with online.

In the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that these lines are starting to blur. People I know in real life have stumbled onto the profiles of some online acquaintances and they’re becoming buddies. I can’t say I’m completely surprised, because that’s how social networking works, after all – you tap into a network of like-minded individuals and make connections with them.

When I first realized this was happening, I have to admit I got a bit freaked out. I share things with online friends that the people I know in real life don’t really understand about me. It’s not that I expect the world to suddenly collapse because these boundaries are being crossed, but it does make me more aware of how I’ve structured these boundaries in the first place. Just this past weekend, I spoke on a panel about social media and when we were asked about having multiple online identities, I confessed that this is something I struggle with myself. We all came to the conclusion that this is an ongoing challenge without any clear answer.

But I have to say that, more than anything else, seeing these groups of people interact is proving to me what I’ve always expected and told people: social networking is a great way to build relationships. And, in some ways, seeing these groups interact lets go of some of the pressure to keep the worlds apart. At the very least, it means I know really cool people who find each other cool as well.

Learning from Little Rock

I recently completed some in-depth research about the Little Rock Nine, the small group of black students who first integrated Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas, in 1957. Their first days of school made national headlines when the governor sent in the National Guard to block them from getting to class. It took weeks to resolve the situation in the federal courts, and even then, the President of the United States had to send in military support so that the community would stop their violent protests and allow the black teens to walk the halls of the white high school. It’s an amazing story.

I’m pretty much in awe of these nine folks, who were just young teenagers at the time, but who have grown into strong and amazing civil rights advocates. The backlash they faced every day in 1957-58 was extraordinary, and yet they faced it with courage. I can’t even imagine having to deal with the kind of overt attacks they faced—being spit on and beaten up and scalded and threatened with bombs. Actually, I feel lucky that I can’t imagine it, and that I never had to live it.

Black history month is over, and maybe this post would have been more appropriate a few weeks ago, but in my own life, thinking about such events is not specific to one month of the year. I spend a lot of time delving into history, both for my work and because it interests me. I often consider what it would have been like to live in another place and time, not because I want to go back, but because I want to understand what went on, and how we got to where we are today.

The Little Rock Nine’s story is both heartbreaking and inspiring. It makes me grateful that I don’t live in other times, and grateful for those who sacrificed so that I wouldn’t. The world isn’t perfect today. Some would say it’s not even a better place, overall. But in certain ways, big and small, there has been progress, and it’s nice to celebrate that from time to time.

Friday Forum: Women's Future

To finish up our Women's History-themed Friday Forum questions, let's look forward to what you want for the future. What do you think are the top priorities for women in the years to come? Equal pay? Better representation in government? Let us know in the comments.

Ada Lovelace and Other Women in Technology

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes back Kelly this week:

Kelly lives in Brooklyn with her boyfriend, baby Jack and their dog, Pearl. Between feeding Jack and walking the dog, she is working with members of her community to start a food co-op.


Last month, I pledged to write something in honor of Ada Lovelace Day. Ada Lovelace wrote the first program for the precursor to the modern day computer. In response to the need for female role models in the traditionally male fields of science and technology, a movement started to spread her story. In her honor, I decided to write about women who shaped my own career in technology.

Teresa M. gave me a job as a summer intern in an IT department. After my second day, she told me I should consider a degree in Computer Science. I had one year left in college and didn't want to start a new major, but she gave me confidence and a connection that turned into a Help Desk job after graduation. Everybody starts somewhere!

Linda O. was a co-worker who in addition to being a whiz-bang package builder (someone good at installing software across many PCs at once), was also a very wise woman. I often strolled over for dinner in her office and she taught me how to survive in an environment that wasn't exactly hostile to women, but wasn't geared to assist them either.

Elysia B. hired me to be a data analyst when I thought of myself as a computer trainer. She had to cajole me into taking on the new role, but I’m glad she did. I became the uber-Excel-geek, setting up spreadsheets for others in the IT department, the lawyers for whom we worked, and even some fantasy football leagues.

Elysia also created a sense of community within our department. Our gatherings were legendary and special occasions came with beautifully wrapped gifts. Elysia could analyze information and make business decisions with the best of them, but I felt it was her strength as a woman that bonded the group and gave us a sense of purpose larger than "just" technology.

I've been honored to work with many talented women in the IT field – on the help desk, coding apps, and managing logistics. There is a human side to technology, and I have found that it’s often in the hands of women to make sure it’s not forgotten.

Infidelity Blame Game

I was very surprised to hear that a woman in North Carolina won $9 million from her husband’s mistress under the state’s alienation of affection law this week. The scorned spouse and her legal team convinced a jury that the “other woman” was instrumental in the destruction of her 32-year marriage. While I appreciate the plaintiff’s message to women to not have affairs with married men, I can’t help but wonder about the husband in the middle of this angst: after all, no one forced him to cheat. Shouldn’t the lion’s share of the blame be placed on the offending spouse? After all, when marriage vows are broken willingly, the problems exist between the two people who pledged their lives to one another.

I feel nauseous when I see two women fighting over the same man on reality television and talk shows. Usually, he says little or nothing at all while the two combatants for his affection scream and try to physically attack one another. In normal life, I have seen women guard their significant other from women in a variety of ways, such as preventing them from going out with their friends, calling them relentlessly when they are apart, and even warning others to stay away by issuing verbal threats. Of course, any relationship and both genders are not immune to these expressions of insecurity, but unfortunately it is still regarded as a predominantly female shortcoming. I find this to be insulting. Not all of us want to lunge at those outside of our relationships when they are plagued with infidelity. I am also not suggesting that aggrieved partners become best friends with the “other woman” or “other man” either.

I believe that when someone willingly cheats, it is that person alone who must repent the most to the scorned partner if he or she wants to save their relationship. Of course, there are those who cannot or do not want to understand, cannot apologize, and/or keep cheating.

Do you agree that blame should be shared when infidelity occurs?

Food, Friends and Finances

Last night, I had a scrumptious meal cooked by a good friend. Along with another friend, we sipped wine, busted out the Abbey Ale, and enjoyed the pleasure of each other's company. And to make it a picture-perfect evening, we worked on our taxes.

Yes, it's tax season here in the States and my friends and I turned what's usually an annoyance into a fun night of food, drinks and good company.

For my friend, it was her first time filing taxes and we thought this would be a good way to promote financial independence. Hooray for sisterhood! We were able to coach her through the process and get her feeling more confident about being able to keep her finances in order. In fact, I think this dinner, drinks, taxes combo is a great one that I'll be doing often! Any good cooks out there who need tax help? Or any awesome accountants in need of a yummy meal? I urge you all to start this tradition.

At some point in the evening, I started wondering what it is about women and finances... It shouldn't be the case that we are easily intimidated by our personal finances, and yet I find that - at least in my groups of friends - many women are. My friend, for example, was completely freaking out about her taxes. She had no idea what she was supposed to do, what she needed, or how long it would take and the panic was getting to her.

With the rest of my friends, there are some who take complete control over their finances, making sure to keep their debt down, buying property, investing, etc. The rest are completely lost, in loads of debt, not even thinking about investing or buying anything, etc.

Do you find that the women you know fall into the "don't know anything about money" stereotype? Or do they have their finances in order? I'm curious to see how much of this is an actual problem and how much has finally changed.

(Originally posted on Feministe.)

A New Vision

I attended The Women’s Mosaic Visioning Workshop on Saturday, and as usual it was a positive, healing and potentially transformative experience. Leading up to Visioning, I’m usually pretty excited. I find the collage process fun and relaxing, and I’m always eager to see what my final product is going to look like.

This time around, I felt like I was really dragging myself to get there, and I felt quite a bit guilty for giving up those six hours in the middle of a Saturday, which is usually a prime chunk of working time for me. I have a book deadline looming, plus an upcoming presentation to work on, and on top of it all, an out-of-town guest who I needed and wanted to spend time with. It was all too much!

I don’t know what inner force compelled me to follow through on the Visioning Workshop, but of course, I’m happy that I went. I know that in the days and weeks to come, when my life calms down, I will be glad to have my new collage up in my workspace. I’ve done Visioning with TWM so regularly over the past couple of years, that it is a familiar practice to glance up at the images for inspiration.

This time around, I was reminded that the Visioning Workshop is more than just a fun, artsy time of self-expression. For those of us who attend regularly, it becomes a touchstone that helps shape the year to come. A time to check yourself, and challenge yourself to be who you need to be.

Kristina Leonardi always starts the workshop by congratulating everyone for setting aside a whole day to focus on our personal needs and desires. Sometimes it’s really hard to do that, and to recognize how important it is in the midst of all the other pressures of life. I guess those moments when you think you don’t have any time for yourself are probably the exact moments when you need it the most!

Friday Forum: Guiding Our Girls

Shifting the focus from women to young girls, what are the lessons you try to teach the girls and young women in your life? Most of us have younger sisters, cousins, nieces, children, grandchildren, etc. that look up to us. Do you teach them about feminism or women's history? Do you help them make major decisions? Are you a mentor, officially or unofficially? It'd be great to see some of your responses.

Link Love for 3/18

It's time for another round-up of great things we've been reading online. Check out the links below and feel free to add your own links in the comments for things you've been reading or writing online.

Girl w/Pen considers whether or not this is a great time to be a girl.

Global Sisters has information on joining The All Girl Army - a community for young feminists.

In Good Company explores what it's like to be an extrovert in the midst of introverts.

Lindsey Pollak has predictions about the future of work that's worth checking out.

One Writeous Chicks shares her experience of writing to Corey Haim when she was younger.

Savvy Ladies wants you to secure your future with a Roth IRA.


That's what we've got for you this week. Remember to leave links in the comments or thoughts on these pieces.

Other St. Patrick's Day Observances

Do you believe in past lives? I don’t, at least not really. I just know that from all my travels, I have never had so many déjà-vu moments anywhere else but in Ireland. I was only in Dublin for a few days one summer during my college days, and I was amazed at how comfortable and familiar everything seemed. From what I saw during my stay in the capital city and in the few day trips we took to coastal areas, I realized that Ireland was more than just another travel destination for me.

On St. Patrick’s Day, I prefer to honor the holiday by watching a great film that showcases the country’s many cultural and natural attractions rather than watching the parades or visiting pubs. The crowds can get rowdy (that is such an understatement) and I don’t think that these activities do the holiday proper justice. I don’t think one has to be Irish to make this statement.

In addition to movies about and/or set in Ireland, I like to listen to Enya, one of my favorite musicians of all time, who just so happens to be Irish. Her first album, The Celts, is not only a perfect soundtrack for relaxation (I hear it played in spas all the time) it is also a wonderful mystical journey into Ireland’s mysterious history before Christianity was introduced in the country by St. Patrick. The album really transports you into another time and place, and that is a very good thing.

Through the words of Irish writers such as Oscar Wilde, James Joyce, Lady Gregory, William Butler Yeats, and Maeve Binchy, I gain an outsider’s understanding of certain aspects of the country and its people during various times throughout history. I also love Irish foods, like Irish soda bread, Colcannon (made with mashed potatoes, kale or cabbage), Boxty (another potato dish), and savory fish pies, but I don’t need to wait for St. Patrick’s Day to eat any of these foods.

How will you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?

What We're Worth

Lately, I’ve found myself in a lot of conversations about the value and worth of work. A friend of mine recently got a long-overdue raise, meanwhile other friends deserve a raise but have yet to receive one. I also have friends who aren’t currently working and are feeling greater confidence as a result of considering ways to measure success that aren’t related to a paycheck.

This got me thinking about how much of our confidence comes from our jobs. We live in a society where our work is a big part of our identity, so this makes a lot of sense. If we complete an important project or implement a new system at work, our confidence shoots up. If a project isn’t successful, then our confidence dips. This cycle seems part of a natural ebb & flow, but there’s another side to this...

For starters, what happens if your job is a supportive role rather than one that takes the lead? If you aren’t given any major responsibilities, it’s hard to feel that your job is of any importance. I have a lot of acquaintances who feel no ownership of the tasks they work on, and their confidence goes down.

Another issue that comes into play is reward. In some companies, completing a goal leads to some sort of reward. The reward might come in the form of a bonus, a promotion, a potential raise at your yearly review, a staff person for you to manage, office perks, a shout out at the next meeting, and so forth. In other companies, however, none of these are a possibility.

In my experience and that of those around me, I’ve seen all of these scenarios. In companies where every goal is met with some reward (even a small one), it definitely seems to me that morale is boosted when someone succeeds. Sadly, the opposite also seems to be true – if there are no rewards, people start to develop low self-esteem.

Has your confidence ever been affected by your work? What have you done when you felt your work wasn’t being properly compensated?

Sorry, Oscar. Still Grouching...

I've been reflecting on my previous post, about Kathryn Bigelow as the first Academy Award-winning female director. I keep trying to figure out why this particular “first” felt so distressing to me. This is what I landed on:

I've always thought of Academy Awards for women and Academy Awards for men in the same breath. On the acting side, women are always nominated, and women always win because we have our own categories. I take this in stride, but now I’m forced to wonder: does having separate categories imply that you can't compare what women do with what men do? Is there an inherent inequality there?

Women steal the focus on the red carpet, but are asked to discuss what we're wearing. Men fade into the background, brought forth to talk about their actual work. Vera Farmiga gets asked what it was like working with George Clooney on Up in the Air, while George gets asked what drew him to the character he played. If male and female actors were judged together, would women ever be nominated, or would we simply get to be someone's date? Would a woman have won best actor by now, or would we still be waiting? Would the lack of recognition in other categories have been called to wider attention, and rectified, sooner?

Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised that women are still experiencing major "firsts." I admit that I come and go from the land of feminism. I want equality, and I'm willing to argue over it and I believe I'm willing to fight for it, too, but most of the time I feel like the world is working well enough for me.

In my most cynical moments this week, I wondered if we weren't better off in the days of overt, rampant sexism, a la Mad Men, because at least then we knew what we were up against. At least then sexism didn't sneak up on you like a mosquito--just when you think you imagined the buzzing, there comes the welt. I don't really believe that women were better off before, but I hate that blind-sided feeling when I stumble on problems I should’ve been aware of all along, I just didn't see them.

Friday Forum: From Our Mothers

Continuing our Friday Forums themed for Women's History Month, we want to know what are some of the traditions amongst the women in your family?

Do you and your sisters make annual trips? Is there some jewelry or clothing that has been passed down through the women in your family? We'd love to hear how your family history is kept alive through the women in your family.

Money Makes the World Go Round

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week:

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.

Join her for TWM's Visioning Workshop next Saturday, March 20. You can also check out her series, Thursdays at Three for weekly inspiration.


Artists and musicians do it. Actors and writers do it. Designers do it. Nonprofits and entrepreneurs do it. To some extent, we all do it. We strive to maintain our authenticity, creativity and vision of who we are and what we want to express in the world while trying to earn a living in it.

Last week I attended a lovely event hosted by In Good Company highlighting the journey of fashion designer Selia Yang. She reinforced once again that for successful creative types, every decision cannot always be 100% creative - to truly exist and thrive, you must understand and often defer to the financial/commercial aspect.

These types of lifestyles are the 'roads less traveled' for a reason - if it was easy everyone would be doing it! It's a path that takes faith, determination, perseverance, and, perhaps most of all, courage.

The word courage is made up of the Latin root for 'heart'. There is no doubt that to do what you want to do in life, you need lots of heart - in the form of love for yourself, others and your work, and the passion and conviction to forge ahead, even if you don't know for sure where your next meal will come from.

There's a reason they call it show business, and although nonprofits are not for profit, they still need money to do the work they do. How to achieve that balance of being who we are and supporting ourselves is an eternal quest with no silver bullet answer. At the end of the day, we need to be able to decide as individuals just how much we can compromise ourselves for it.

When choosing to live a life that is most true to who you are, you need to be aware of what things you might have to sacrifice to make things happen. But as challenging as the path can be, there is always a payoff for sticking with it - we wouldn't have all the beauty, innovation, entertainment and opportunity in the world if others hadn't done so!

Dealing With External Pressures

In one of my first posts, I spoke candidly about the pressures women endure to marry from their families, especially those from traditional cultures. I feel the need to bring up the subject again, because I was the target of some bias during my recent trip to India.

First of all, I am really proud of the way I handled myself. There were a few relatives I met who treated me differently during my visit, and I knew it had to do with my unmarried status and having been born and raised in the United States (yes, there is anti-American sentiment shared by some members of my extended family) but I did not feel or act guilty. Why should I? It is who I am, and I make no apologies for being single or being an American with Indian roots. The former may change in the future; none of us knows what fate has in store for us. But being an American? I am proud to be one, without being obnoxious about it, and always will be.

Secondly, I have noticed that blame has been thrown at my parents, particularly my Mom. This is one aspect of the situation that really bothers me. I have my own views about life which are separate from my parents' views. They want me to marry, and I would like to get married one day too, but I am determined to find a person who is right for me, and vice versa. I am not going to fret about something I do not have at present; what is the point? My life is my own, and my parents have little to do with my present and future choices. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops when I was visiting certain people in India, but I restrained myself. I knew it would be a waste of my time.

I did enjoy my trip overall, but like an elephant (my favorite animal), I won’t forget the bad as well as the good experiences.

How do you effectively handle external pressures? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Equality: Personal & Political

I’m sure many of you know this already, but yesterday was International Women’s Day. Every year on March 8, various organizations, governments, and people around the world plan events, campaigns, days of action, and so forth to celebrate the advancement of women and to plan for the future. The United Nations chooses a theme each year, and this year’s theme was “Equal rights, equal opportunities: Progress for all.”

When I heard this year’s theme, I thought it was an interesting one. For those who don’t know, this year marks the 15th Anniversary of the Fourth World Conference on Women held in Beijing. This conference set up goals for countries around the world to improve women’s rights and this year various organizations have put out reports and documents tracking how far we’ve come, and how far we still have to go. I’m pretty sure the U.N. had this somewhere in their minds when they came up with this year’s theme.

But we can also look at this theme in a different way. Rather than simply looking at it as a reflection on politics, we can make it personal: as a commitment to the future not only for the world but for ourselves. Last week, I attended Women Hold the Solutions, an event hosted by Global Fund for Women. One of the panelists spoke about how difficult it is to raise children to be equal. Because parents themselves are products of societies where not everything is equal, they pass those ideas on to their children without realizing it. Around the world, mothers might find themselves demanding more from their daughters in terms of housework and chores, or urging their sons to take on more wives. Similarly, most of us do the same thing when we’re around our friends and families. We don’t expect or demand equality in all areas, so progress will always be that much slower.

I plan on taking some more time this Women’s History Month to think about how we can advance equality on all fronts. Just because International Women’s Day is over doesn’t mean we can’t keep it in mind for longer.

Oscar's Dirty Little Secret

Until last night, watching The Academy Awards, I had no idea that no woman had ever won an Oscar for Best Director. What in the world????

I'm a movie lover, and though I'm not always knowledgeable about what goes on behind the camera, I know a little about the industry. Even I can name a range of female directors who might, at some point in their careers, have been eligible for such an honor: Penny Marshall, Jane Campion, Nancy Meyers, Kathie Bates, Nora Ephron, Sofia Coppola, Mira Nair....the list goes on.

Yet, I learned from the NYTimes last night that in Oscar's 82-year history, only four women have ever even been nominated in the director category: Lina Wertmuller (1975-Seven Beauties), Jane Campion (1993-The Piano), Sofia Coppola (2003-Lost In Translation) and Kathryn Bigelow, who shattered yet another glass ceiling by taking home the award last night for The Hurt Locker.

To be honest, I'm slightly appalled by this. I'm glad Kathryn Bigelow won, of course, but why did she have to be the first? And going beyond gender, why did Lee Daniels (Precious) have to be the first African-American director EVER NOMINATED??? Why, in our supposedly post-race, post-gender America do we still have to overcome so many large and small obstacles?



It makes me wonder....if diversity and equality aren't reflected and respected within our pop culture, organically, then have we really embraced these values as fully as we claim?

Friday Forum: Images of Women

It's now officially Women's History Month! Just as we did last year, this month's Friday Forum questions will be reflective of that theme.

Because of the Oscars this weekend (and various other awards shows), there's a lot of talk right now about women representation in film and television. What are some changes you'd like to see in pop culture in regards to women? Is it simply more women creating media, or do you have an ideal image of what portrayals of women should be like? Is your reality close to the one being reflected back to you?

Rise and Rebuild

CHICKS ROCK! wants you to welcome Bridget back as a guest blogger this week:

Bridget is a recent graduate of Vassar College, where she studied Political Science and Women's Studies, and former TWM intern. She loves watching movies with her younger brother and playing rugby.


For the past few months, I’ve been working at a homeless women’s shelter in the 9th Ward of New Orleans. Although it can be emotionally overwhelming to live surrounded by such poverty and heartache, my experience has been positive because of the connections I have built with residents and new friends alike. If I have discovered anything here, it is that New Orleans and its residents are an incredibly heartfelt, resilient people. They are committed to keeping up traditions and celebrating their successes. It would be an understatement to say that this Mardi Gras season, coupled with the Saint’s World Championship, has been an ongoing party in the streets. They take their celebrating very seriously here!

In reality, the quality of life here in the 9th ward could be disheartening. There is a deep sense of lawlessness, abandonment, and raw sadness. The legacy of slavery and inequality have never been made more apparent or felt so immediate to me. Yet, despite the crime, lack of resources, and other adverse conditions, New Orleanians are consumed – obsessed, even – with hosting community meetings, parades, and other social events. I think there’s an unspoken understanding that everyone who has come back into the city has a responsibility to contribute to its rebirth, whether it’s through painting murals on buildings that create a collective social memory, having brass bands play traditional music on street corners, or just getting a local library card. These small acts are big statements that keep alive a sense of Home and Spirit.

The reason New Orleans is staying alive and even thriving right now is because of the resiliency and passion of its residents. If it were not for the strong sense of community and home, I fear it would just be another devastated, abandoned city. But, of course, New Orleans continues to prove itself to be much more than that and I’m proud and privileged to call it my new home.

Travel: The Best Education

I think everyone should travel to a place they have never visited before at least once a year. Whether it is within our own country or to an international destination, traveling somewhere new and really experiencing the local culture is the best education.

I speak as someone who has just had the best vacation of my life in India, my parents’ native country. I have been there before, but this time I visited places I never saw before. Delhi, Mumbai (formerly Bombay), and other locations not commonly mentioned by the tourism industry were some of my stops during the month of February, and I feel so fortunate to have had the opportunity to visit these areas. What I learned from these urban and rural areas was how different the cultures and daily life in general are from other locations previously unknown to me, even though I have visited India several times before.

One example of this is witnessing camel rides in a residential area in central India. It is a common sight to see children sitting on top of these desert animals on any given day, walking by houses and avoiding cars and trucks that pass by regularly. For someone who was born and raised in New Jersey, where there are no camels or deserts in sight, I found myself watching and taking pictures eagerly, while parents of the children on these animals just returned to their houses to have afternoon tea. I had never seen this before when visiting India previous times, so it was refreshing to experience this unique sight.

Just driving a few hours away from New York City is like entering into a different world. When I visited a farm in Dutchess County in upstate New York, I was surprised that people actually say hello to strangers as they walk by, and will cheerfully take the time to give directions to those who are lost. I had to remind myself that I was not too far from home, even though it felt like I was.

Do you have any similar travel experiences to share?