TWM's Panel on Health & Nutrition

As part of TWM's three-part Focus on Fitness & Health series for National Women's Health & Fitness Week, an eclectic group of health-conscious people met at Bonobo's Vegetarian Restaurant to discuss Health & Nutrition: Perspectives from Around the World.

The six panelists represented various disciplines of health and wellness from around the world. Tammy Lakatos Shames and Elysse Lakatos, or The Nutrition Twins as they're known, gave us practical advice for adopting healthier habits. They emphasized that we should look at our diets in terms of adding what's better for us rather than what we're taking out. Milvi Vehik, a holistic health counselor, offered insight based on her own diverse cultural experiences and how our culture affects our personal health. Dr. Priyatarssini Balamurugen, a practitioner of Ayurveda, Naturopathy, Yoga & Acupuncture, spoke extensively about the ayurveda cleansing practice that rids the body of toxins. Jared Koch, a wellness counselor and author, reminded us of the importance of eating foods in the purest form you can find -- organic, unprocessed, local, etc. Dr. Mei Li, who is trained in both Traditional Chinese Medicine and Western Medicine, informed us that where and when we're born affects our health and well-being for the rest of our lives. Jessica Grippo, a holistic health counselor specializing in women's health with Laughing Sage Wellness and combining Eastern and Western perspectives, shared her personal experience to stress why it's important to always stay connected to what's going on with our bodies and become friends with our liver.

Attendees were able to take home more than just a few wise words. A resource guide was distributed with an extensive list of where to go for more information and direct services including: for nutritional and wellness services,Isagenix Happy Wellness, Sustainable Stress Reduction, Team Northrup,Christine Possemato, BEIA Insurance and Juliana Neiman; for looking and feeling fit, New York Health & Racquet Club, and A Black Bike; for eating healthy, ZICO. Goodie bags were stocked with healthy snacks, passes to health and fitness classes, and vital information from the various sponsors. Even the program had a list of home remedies from around the world for all sorts of ailments.

Everyone left having learned at least one new thing, and with the night's theme echoing in their heads: everyone's personal health and wellness is just that, personal. We must all take the time to get to know and listen to our bodies, eat local and seasonal foods whenever possible, and be open to trying new things, whether it's new vegetables, organic food or acupuncture. Not every body is built the same, nor does it stay the same throughout our lives. What works for one person might not work for somebody else and what worked for you last year might not work three years from now. Staying in constant communication with our bodies is the best way to keep our health as a top priority.

We also want to be sure to thank those who attended the other two parts of the series: Fitness in the Park with RJ's Personal Fitness and ZUMBA! Class with Alicia Harris. These events gave everyone a chance to get the heart-rate up, have lots of fun and make some new friends in the process.

For those of you who attended any of these events, please let us know what you thought of the event and what you got out of it. If you weren't able to make it, is there anything in particular you want to know more about?

Summer Reads

In case you didn't already know, we here at CHICKS ROCK! love few things more than a good book, and we're excited to announce that TWM is launching a summer book club! We've posted the details below so that you all can participate and get started this long weekend.

TWM'S SIZZLING SUMMER BOOK CLUB!
Wednesday, June 17th 6:30pm-8pm

You asked for it, we've got it! Get away this summer with a captivating book each month and then join TWM Members and guests to discuss it over classic Italian cookies & pastries at Veniero's in the East Village!

COST: $20; $15 for TWM Members
LOCATION: Veniero's 342 East 11th Street
Includes coffee, tea or soda and an assortment of Italian pastries and cookies!

RSVP to christianna@thewomensmosaic.org


JUNE'S BOOK SELECTION:

The Twentieth Wife By Indu Sundaresan
Publisher: Simon Schuster Books
ISBN-13: 9780743428187

An enchanting historical epic of grand passion and adventure, this debut novel tells the captivating story of one of India's most controversial empresses - a woman whose brilliance and determination trumped myriad obstacles, and whose love shaped the course of the Mughal Empire. Skillfully blending the textures of historical reality with the rich and sensual imaginings of a timeless fairy tale, The Twentieth Wife sweeps readers up in Mehrunnisa's embattled love with Prince Salim, and in the bedazzling destiny of a woman - a legend in her own time - who was all but lost to history until now.

Going Under the Laser

After years of wearing glasses and contact lenses, I have decided to take the plunge: I am undergoing Lasik eye surgery in a few days. No longer will I have to squint when looking at the clock in the middle of the night, or suffer those red marks on each side of my nose after wearing my glasses all day. I also won't have to worry about falling asleep with the contact lenses, and waking up with puffy, irritated eyes the next day. I am looking forward to going under the laser to improve my eye sight.

I have never had surgery of any kind before, so I feel like I am entering into a new realm. I find myself reading the fine print on all the forms I am presented, and asking all sorts of questions about the elective procedure and the post-operative steps I must follow. I know that I am not the first person to have Lasik surgery, but it is important to be vigilant when we are entrusting something as important as our eyes to someone else. I have heard enough about people not doing their "homework" before undergoing surgery and suffering a variety of consequences. I feel confident that everything will be fine, but I wouldn't be normal if I didn't feel a little nervous before the procedure. It gets me ready to face a laser and keep my eyes open long enough for it to do what it does best.

Have any of you had Lasik eye surgery? I would love to hear your thoughts about the procedure and the aftermath.

Holding Myself Accountable - Starting Today

Because May is Physical Fitness Month and I attended TWM's recent Health & Nutrition event, I've been thinking a lot lately about my own physical health and well-being.

If you recall from a few previous posts of mine, I have a hard time focusing on myself even when I know I should. Recently, my body has started fighting back because my schedule has me running around without pause. My sisters and my guy are very much focused on their health, and I feel like the odd one out. All of this has made me realize that time is up -- I have to focus on myself now, or I never will.

I started walking a lot more, and my upcoming move to NYC will give me more opportunities to be active with all of the open space to explore around me. But I know it has to be more than that. I need to carve out time to spend with myself. I need to let go of some responsibilities that I simply can't handle anymore. And what I really need to start with is a firm schedule and plan so I can start holding myself accountable.

So, I'm starting today! No time like the present, right?

I'm going to start by planning out my meals for the week, which I hope will free up time in the decision-making that often takes me an hour per meal. Next, I'll decide what my exercise to do each day, which has to be on top of the 30 minutes of walking I do now. I'm also going to come up with a set work schedule for the week with a prioritized to do list that should help me stay on track throughout the day. Hopefully all of this will work out for this week, and then I can do it again next week, and the week after that, and keep on going until it becomes a habit.

Do you have any suggestions for how I can stick to my plan? Is this something you might need to do for yourself as well? It'd be good to know I'm not alone!

Celebrity Moments

I'm discovering that there are several layers of strangeness to being an author. One is the simple fact that this thing I have written is out there for the world to read and do with as they will. Strange. Another is that people -- especially kids, who are my main audience -- now think I'm famous. Strange.

Part of my job as author is to connect with my young readers, which usually happens through author visits to schools and libraries around the country. I went to my hometown, Fort Wayne, Indiana, to visit some libraries and I was shocked -- shocked, I tell you! -- by the enthusiastic embrace of my young friends. Most of the children and teens I visited hadn't ever met a person who had written a book and actually had it published. I was a demigod.

The littlest ones, elementary schoolers, stared at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. They put out their hands to touch my skin, as if testing to see whether I was real. Some of the teens were easily engaged. Others sat sullenly in the back, feigning disinterest, but remaining suspiciously quiet throughout my talk. Most of them hadn't read the novel in advance. But at the end, every single one of them jumped up, eager to have their picture taken with me and the book.

To be honest, I could give or take the celebrity treatment, though it was certainly flattering and fun. What meant the most to me in those moments was knowing that at least a child or two had their world broadened. They saw for a second that an author is a real person that you can touch with your hand and laugh with. Maybe a child or two will be inspired to write their own stories. Maybe one or two of them will feel as though their dreams are not so far out of reach.

Friday Forum: Physical Fitness

In keeping with our celebration of May being Physical Fitness Month, we wanted to know what all of you do to keep your physical health and fitness as a top priority.

Do you follow a strict exercise regimen, work out every so often, or keep health and fitness at the bottom of your to do list? Feel free to share any tips, especially for balancing physical health with the hectic schedules most of us have!

And don't forget that you can focus on your fitness tomorrow, May 16, at TWM's zumba class!

The Story of a Writer

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes our latest guest blogger, Moria:

Moria Byrne is an editor, blogger, freelance journalist and New York native. Her articles have appeared in: Baltimore Business Journal, Maryland Daily Record, The Jewish Times, and The Narragansett Times.


Before moving to New York, I never uttered the words “I'm a writer” out loud. I lived in Maryland where writing means government grants or medical writing for Johns Hopkins. Mostly, I didn't take my writing seriously. I wrote as a freelance journalist for a few local newspapers, but editing was how I made a living.

A few years ago, I believed the world saw writers as the mechanics of the communication world. We have the talent to put things together in a functional way most people don't--yet we're not taken seriously. Maybe it was New York's overpriced coffee or polluted air, but suddenly, I believed I'd underestimated writers. We are chameleons, I told myself. (Not out loud, of course.) Our creativity takes us in endless directions: copywriters, teachers, radio hosts, what have you. I was ready to throw my proverbial beret in the air and then it hit me. How will I make a living at writing?

My transition from editor to writer would have been easier if I'd stayed in the country. But wanderlust led me to the Philippines. When I returned to the States and attended a Media Bistro event in NYC, I experienced culture-shock. I went to a panel on the "Magazines of the Future" and was accosted with words Twitter, CMS, and RSS. I realized I was MIA. I was ready to ship myself in a ground air mail package to the country I'd just returned from where at least I spoke the local language. But being a journalist at heart, I investigated. I found social media communities were happy to share free information on the new terminology.

In a city with Ivy Leagues, Fortune 500 businesses and media leaders, I have attended seminars, found cutting edge industry information, and built my skills without more than a subway pass and wireless card. My internal software has been updated and I’m amazed at where social media could take my career. But NYC serves as both teacher and muse. Despite the lean prospects for employment in this overpopulated city, inspiration is enough reason to stay for now.

Remembering My Greatest Heroines

From my childhood to my teens, I was a television junkie. Thankfully, it wasn’t the only interest in my life like it is for kids today (I have always loved books and art too), but there was something about the re-runs of Wonder Woman and Charlie’s Angels on summer days when the weather was too unbearable outside.

Wonder Woman was this tall, gorgeous woman from another planet who was as strong as Superman and could transform into her alter-ego by turning around in a circle. When I was very little, I apparently tried to copy this move to see if my clothes would change to become the famed ‘super heroine.’ I never did. But I never forgot how inspired I was by women in the media who seemed to be breaking down boundaries between the genders. They were beautiful, but they were also strong and could stand up to anyone or anything to save other people’s lives. They were women and proud of it! Somehow, my developing brain grasped the notion that women could be strong, self-sufficient, and fearless… AND be genuine, loving, and gorgeous, all at the same time.

As I grew, television became more and more underwhelming, in my humble opinion. I turned more of my attention to heroines in the books I loved most, like Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice. The main characters in these books were very different, but what both of them had in common was their desire to be respected for who they really were. I appreciated their struggles, because they were realistic and easy for me to relate to.

Of course, I always knew that the greatest heroine of my life is my Mother, who came from a small South Indian village to the United States to realize her dreams. No, she doesn’t have a secret identity and superhuman strength, but she has bravery, compassion, and intelligence, which are all qualities I admire most.

Which women (real or imaginary) have inspired you the most?

Making Moves

One of the most stressful things about renting is figuring out what to do when your lease is up. Do you stay in the place you've called home for at least the last year (often longer)? Or do you go through the apartment-hunting process all over again?

After living outside of New York City for almost two years, my guy and I decided it was probably time to make the move into Manhattan. The cost of our commute is killing us, and we figured we'd end up saving money paying a higher rent in New York. We found a friend to share the space with and set out to find THE place to move to.

We looked at a few listings, and visited a couple of apartments, but nothing that called out to us. We anticipated a long apartment hunt, at least lasting a couple of months, but after just a few weeks of looking, we already found a place! It was almost love at first sight. The neighborhood is nice, there are many more restaurants, shops, and banks near by than any of us are used to, and the commute to work won't be hard. Even though we still have to think about logistics -- new furniture, insurance, coordinating the move, etc. -- we're very excited about the move and happy to see how smooth it's been.

We're all still surprised at how quickly things happened for us, but we're also stressed out about what will happen a year from now when we have to start this up all over again. Apparently, the fact that we aren't even moving for another two months does nothing to relieve our anxiety over the next time we repeat this process.

Have any of you had to move recently? Do you find that it gets easier or harder to go through the steps each time your lease is up?

Tour Guiding, Cross-Culturally

I've recently had the pleasure of hosting international visitors - a delegation of friends from southern Africa. My friends were traveling to the U.S. on church-related business, and I was representing my church in welcoming them to NYC.

Showing them the city was a particular joy. We rode the subway and the bus. We stood in Grand Central Terminal at rush hour -- commuter culture fascinated them. We took pictures of yellow cabs, which New Yorkers find annoyingly ubiquitous, but these friends found hilarious and strange. We rode the Circle Line (a tourist cruise around the island of Manhattan) and for some of them, it was their first time on a boat!

I've hosted American guests in the city before, but tour guiding becomes quite a different job when the guests are from out of the country. It was a unique challenge to explain our culture and lifestyle to folks living so far outside of it. I felt there was no better way to be an effective tour guide than to try seeing the city through fresh eyes. I tried to observe everything, then brought in my actual knowledge to explain the significance of various buildings, vehicles, people and patterns of behavior. The experience helped me recognize and appreciate (and occasionally abhor) many of the cultural attitudes, values and activities that I take for granted on a daily basis.

Our week together was both exhilarating and exhausting. We saw so much of one another, and so much of the city life that it was overwhelming. I was sad to see them go, though, as I watched them disappear through the maze of airport security. It struck me then that it really is a rare opportunity to see one's own culture through others' eyes, up close and personal. An opportunity I hope to have again!

Friday Forum: Mother's Day

Mother's Day is this weekend, so we think this is a great time to reflect a bit on our own experiences with our mothers or as mothers.

What life lessons have you learned from your mother? If you are a mother, what lessons have you passed down, or hope to pass down to your children?

Focus on Fitness with TWM

May is Physical Fitness Month and in celebration of that, TWM has a Health & Nutrition series going on this month.

There's Fitness in the Park this Saturday at 2 p.m. and a Zumba Class next Saturday at 1:30 p.m., giving you ample opportunity to meet some new people while having fun and working up a sweat.

In addition to these events to help you get fit, there's also Health & Nutrition: Perspectives from Around the World on Tuesday, May 12th from 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. Here's a description of what's sure to be a great event:

Join TWM as we explore the world of health and nutrition! Listen to our expert panelists speak about various cultural perspectives on maintaining optimal health and well-being.

Panelists will include a mix of Western, Eastern, Traditional, Ethnic, Indigenous and other areas of expertise!

*Each guest will receive a GOODY BAG and RESOURCE GUIDE with information and products to help maintain a healthy lifestyle in NYC.*

6:00pm - 8:30pm
At Bonobo's Restaurant 18 East 23rd Street (between Broadway and Madison)

NOTE: Please contact Christianna if you are interested in being a sponsor, panelist or resource guide advertiser for this event.

TWM MEMBERS: $15
NON-MEMBERS: $20
TWM MEMBERS CAN BRING A FRIEND AT THE MEMBER RATE!
RSVP to Sally or call 917-816-0834

Can't wait to see you at one of these events! Remember to stay active and keep your health in mind every day.

My In-Between Schedule

Something happens to people when they find themselves between paying jobs. Some of us instantly jump into action to find another position by posting and sending a resume to everyone we know, and attending networking functions. Others need structure and the appropriate motivation to find out what is next for us, because despair is a serious roadblock on the road to employment, especially during the current recession. I believe that difficult times like these come to us as human beings to test us. It is a psychological "survival of the fittest" that scares us all, but we can rise above fear to explore options never considered under normal circumstances.

I consider myself one of those people who can think "outside the box" now that I am in the crossroads of my life and career possibilities. I see many roads ahead of me, so I am preparing myself before choosing which one to take. One way I do this is by establishing something many of us take for granted: a daily schedule.

I find that if I adhere to some sort of daily routine, I am far more productive. Waking up everyday by at least 6:30 AM is one way to get me motivated to complete various tasks and just enjoy more of the day. Instead of being chained to my laptop everyday for hours, I make sure to go to libraries for a change of scenery. It is important to diversify your tasks and surroundings on a daily basis when you are in between jobs, because it is easy to become complacent when one day is like all the other days before it.

There are pitfalls to a schedule that I am very familiar with. If it is too strict and doesn't take into account the unexpected, it can easily fall apart. If you just have some sort of schedule in place and make an effort to follow through with it, life is much more manageable.

Do you have a personal schedule that works for you?

School Daze

After graduating college, I returned a handful of times over the course of a few years. I've now spent the last three weekends out there and, boy, am I exhausted!

It's not that I didn't enjoy college while it lasted, I just don't understand the longing to return that everyone else seems to have. Now that I've gone back and spent a significant amount of time there, it has reaffirmed my feeling that I'm happy to be done with it. I even made a mental list of the things I do and do not miss about college. Things I miss: having most of my friends in close quarters, being able to sleep in late, having the energy to stay up late. Things I don't miss: pretty much everything else -- the food, lack of privacy, an unstable schedule, the drama, the immaturity, the daily annoyances, I could go on and on.

Looking around me, though, I noticed that these people who long for their college days really do exist. They're not the urban legend I thought they were -- they eat, breathe, and sleep college well into their twenties. Is there something they experienced that I did not, or vice versa? What is it that draws them back to the same environment I avoid like the plague?

Like I said, there isn't something that I particularly disliked about college. I had good classes, great friends, and a fair amount of extracurricular activities. I gave myself a lot of responsibilities and I also had a lot of fun. But once it was over, I was definitely glad to be done with it and I did not look back. Is there something wrong with me, or with these people who can't seem to let go? Maybe I'm just becoming old and cranky at a young age...

What was your college experience like? Have you been back since you left and did you like it? Why or why not?

Not About Me

I spent an afternoon with a six-year-old girl and her grandma, and it was totally fun. We went to a science museum that the little girl loves. I arrived bearing chapter books appropriate for her age – partly at her grandma’s request and partly to endear myself to this girl by masquerading as a cool, fun, spontaneous person. (It’s hit or miss, in reality.)

In public, I inadvertently imagine what other people might think when they look at me, and whoever I’m with. Folks who saw the three of us together probably assumed I was the mother figure in this picture. Seeing myself in this light illuminated a few things for me. One is: I do want kids. Another is: I’m not quite ready. But I’m close.

There was a time when I would have begrudged that beautiful little girl for dragging us around the museum without stopping at half the exhibits that I would have wanted to stop at. That day, I didn’t care. There was a time when I would have been annoyed to have to read stories out loud during lunch to keep her entertained, while my French fries grew cold. There was a time when I would’ve regretted not being able to fully peruse the gift shop for kitchy gadgets, because she was ready to go. None of it bothered me. Curious.

For a while now, my fear about having children has been selfishness – my own. I love my independence, and the ability to come and go as I please and the freedom make sure I’m contented before worrying about anyone else. In some ways, that selfishness is waning. It was actually great to spend a day that was not about ME.

Friday Forum: Good Advice

We've asked our readers for advice in the past and have given out plenty of advice of our own, and we've been wondering about what makes for good advice.

So, what's the best advice you've ever given and why? And what's the best advice you've ever received, and what made it the best?

Who Are You & What Are You Supposed to Be Doing With Your Life?

CHICKS ROCK! wants to highlight Kristina's work by re-posting an edited version of a review of her talk Who Are You and What Are You Supposed to Be Doing With Your Life?, originally written by Sophia Karwowski for Manhattan WCO Center.

Kristina Leonardi is founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.

Join her for Who Are You and What Are You Supposed to Be Doing With Your Life? this Saturday, May 2. RSVP to see her speak Tuesday, May 5 when she presents: What Now? Turning Job Loss into Opportunity.


On September 4th, many women (and a few men, too) came to the Manhattan Open Center for an event held by Kristina Leonardi, Founder and Director of The Women's Mosaic. She presented a talk entitled "Who Are You and What Are You Supposed to be Doing With Your Life?" an attempt to equip attendees with the tools to apply their unique talents and passions to their professional life in a practical way. Leonardi shared these life lessons in a friendly, non-judgmental way, relating to the people in the crowd as equals with stories and anecdotes from her own varied and non-conventional career path. She explained how she managed to incorporate skills and contacts gleaned from each point in her varied resume into her founding and development of The Women's Mosaic.

Leonardi repeatedly stressed the importance of people who wish to make career changes to examine what they truly want without the distraction of outside influences. For example, she said, family members and friends often persuade a loved one to refrain from making drastic alterations to their lifestyle without meaning to be harmful. Many people claim they want to "help others" in their work but often don't realize this type of work can be harmful if they don't already have a stable self-image in their own life. The only way a person can get to know their true preferences, Leonardi stated, is by spending more time alone and learning to appreciate their own company.

Another neglected aspect of the path to a fulfilling career, said Leonardi, is the recognition and acceptance of one's own unique strengths. Many people have not yet identified the specific talents they possess and that have the potential to empower them in their professional and personal lives. Paying attention to repeated compliments from others and re-visiting one's childhood quirks can offer strong hints to hidden talents that people didn't allow themselves to recognize. The most useful life lesson to come out of this self-search that people should always remember, Leonardi told the audience, is to "do what you love and the money will follow."

Is the Grass Greener?

People who know me know that I can be indecisive about my future. I have had the feeling for some time now that I am “running in place” in almost all aspects of my life, and when I have so many ideas as to what my next steps will be, it can be overwhelming, to say the least.

Some friends and family members have had great success moving to other countries and/or cities to accomplish their goals. It is a leap of faith when someone leaves everything they know to build a life elsewhere. It is nothing new, especially since a primary aspect of human history is migration. As the child of immigrants, I know from my parents how difficult it was to leave their families and friends to realize the American dream. My relatives who remain in India or live in other parts of the world believe that it far too easy for people to achieve financial success in America. Some of them claim to dislike this country and the people, even though they have never been here or had any interactions with Americans (with the exception of my siblings and cousins, of course.) Still, it is apparent to me that most of these naysayers would have jumped at the chance to come to the U.S.A., if they had the opportunity. Those of my relatives who never had any interest to visit this country at the very least (if there are any) are more than willing to ask for, and accept, American dollars from my parents when they come to visit India. “The grass may be greener,” in their eyes, but many of them don’t understand what my parents and other immigrants went through to become successful.

Relocation to another city (or possibly another country) is on the table for me now, especially since my current project is coming to an end. I am keeping myself in check by making realistic and ambitious career goals, and pray that all will turn out well.

Do any of you have plans to relocate, or have you done so already?

Rolling Up My Sleeves

I'm not sure how many of you know, but last week was National Volunteer Week. Because I have a regular 9-5 type of job, I couldn't do much of anything during the week. However, this past Saturday, I woke up just as the sun was rising to head down to Brooklyn for Hands On New York Day, sponsored by New York Cares.

I have volunteered with several organizations throughout my life, but there is always something particularly exciting about a project in the park, including a clean-up. You roll up your sleeves and work up a sweat, and the instant gratification you get must have something to do with it too. Raking leaves until you can see the ground might literally take you hours -- but when you finally see the ground, it's a sweet sense of satisfaction.

Plus, I love being outside, and have been trying to spend more time outdoors this year. If nothing else, it was quite a beautiful day to be out in a park! The sun was out and it was in the 70s for most of the day, but the trees kept us cool when we needed it.

There's also something to volunteering in general. I was a bit cranky, and more than a bit exhausted, but I was really excited to participate. I signed up to volunteer with my sister and cousins, and we had a great time being able to work on a volunteer project together. Events like these are also a good way to meet new people who also have an interest in, and dedication to service.

Did anybody else participate in National Volunteer Week or an equivalent to Hands On NY Day? Even if you didn't, do you have stories from past volunteer experiences? It's always interesting to see (or read, as the case may be) about what people like and dislike about volunteering.

Inupiaq Voices

I watched a documentary recently that rather blew my mind: Nipaa Ilitqusipta - The Voices of Our Spirit, produced and directed by Rachel Naninaaq Edwardson. The film screened in NYC and features the Inupiaq community in Barrow, Alaska. It studies the history that led to the decline of their language. Personal interviews illuminate the struggle to reclaim a language whose loss began a few decades ago when Native American children were pulled from their homes and forced to attend assimilationist boarding schools. In that environment, they were denied their traditions and made to feel shame about their culture. Consequently, those indoctrinated couldn’t bring themselves to teach their language to their own children.

It’s a uniquely Inupiaq narrative, yet, by chasing the story of one specific culture in one small corner of the world, the film touches on universal themes of home, family, self, and the search for identity. I sat, slightly weeping throughout the film because it hit pretty close to home.

I admire the film’s ability to touch emotions in someone who has no knowledge or experience of the Inupiaq culture. I was utterly caught up in the narratives, and I felt that the film was somehow telling my story, or at least part of it. The part that wishes I spoke my father's language, or my maternal grandmother's. The part that wants to travel to far reaches of the world and feel that I belong.

I'm finding I'm not alone in this feeling. It doesn't seem to matter what culture we have in our backgrounds - young Americans of many flavors are searching. Wandering. Hungry. Something has happened. Something has kept us from learning these truths. Something has happened, and we are being robbed. I wonder if we spend our entire lives hunting for puzzle pieces – a collection of words, thoughts, feelings, experiences that’ll tell us who we are and what it all means. I watch a film like this and I realize that, no matter how far I’ve come, I’m still searching. There’s a history that I carry, which I feel, but that’s ultimately unknown to me.

Where else should I be looking?

Friday Forum: Guilty Pleasures

Let's switch it up and keep it light today!

We all have some things that we really love but somehow feel we shouldn't: chick lit, soap operas, reality t.v., eating day-old pizza straight out of the box. What are some of your guilty pleasures? We promise not to judge -- just let it out. You never know who has that in common with you.

Make Your Voice Heard

Over the past few months, we've gotten the chance to read the stories of some great guest bloggers. These women have shared their experiences, adventures, advice and insight with us and it has helped make this space even more dynamic. We are happy to provide a vehicle for women to use to make their voices heard in a way they might not usually have.

But this can only continue to grow if even more women submit their work and express themselves in this space. So be sure to check out our guest blogger guidelines and email us your submissions. You can read the work of past guest bloggers for inspiration if you'd like, but we also encourage you to listen to your own voice and speak (or write, as the case may be) your own truth. We can't wait to read what you all have to say!

The Library: My Personal Sanctuary

I absolutely LOVE libraries. My mother told me that this love began before my first birthday, when she would take me to our local library in the first town I lived in. I was even issued a library card, which I would try to put in my mouth (along with the other cloth books in the children's section), but overall I was a well-behaved baby during my visits. Somehow, I imitated the adults by remaining quiet when I was in this place filled with books, and I loved to look at the pictures and listen to my mother and the library storytellers read from their colorful pages during children’s story hours.

As I grew, my love of books and the library grew with me. I was always excited to go to the library after school or on a Saturday afternoon, because there was always at least one book to discover and check out. I also found that I was more relaxed and productive if I did my work at the library rather than at home. The quiet environment and studious atmosphere continues to inspire me to complete my work.

When I lived in Indonesia for a year, accessible libraries were impossible to find. I missed how easy it was to walk into a library off the street, browse through the aisles, or read books and magazines at a quiet table. There are many book stores there, but the over-eager salespeople and loud customers were always nearby to interrupt. It was during my time in Indonesia that I realized how important libraries are to me. When my sister and I visited Melbourne, Australia right before I moved back to the U.S.A., we purposely visited the State Library of Victoria, which is a beautiful building in and of itself. My sister even took pictures of me looking around at grand library and opening books without my knowing it. I laugh at those pictures now, but at the time I was just so happy to be in a library again.

Do you have personal sanctuaries that are unique to you?

Remembering Legendary Latinas

In celebration of Women's History Month, I wrote a series of posts on my personal blog about the lives of Latinas who have been inspiring and influential to me. I entitled the series Legendary Latinas and wanted to highlight their lives, accomplishments, and what they mean to me personally.

I chose the women to profile a couple of weeks before March began, found some online sources to use, and began rough drafts of each in the hopes that most of my work would be done before the month even started. But I completely underestimated the amount of work the series would be. The posts were hard work! It took a lot of time to research, fact-check and write the posts, and finding links to facts I knew from off-line sources took even longer. Because the women I profiled are so important to me, I also put a lot of my own reflections on what they each mean to me, which added a level of emotional investment I did not anticipate when I came up with the idea.

So, let's just say that while working on the series, I figuratively kicked myself a number of times for ever announcing it in the first place.

Now that a few weeks have passed since I completed my last post, I'm really glad I wrote it. Despite the long nights and hours of work, the series gave me a chance to explore the lives of women I've admired for a long time. It pushed me to become connected to Latina history and Latina issues in a way I've never been pushed to do in the past. On top of the women I actively sought information about, I started to find out about Latinas I had never heard of before or only had limited exposure to.

I've also gotten a lot of positive feedback, and requests to expand the profiles I currently have or write new ones. I still haven't decided whether or not I'll continue the series in some form or another, but I'm definitely happy with the work I did and having accomplished my goal of giving more exposure to these legendary Latinas.

Reckless Ambition (Freelance, Part II)

Here’s the latest evolution in my thoughts about my freelance lifestyle. I’m comfortable with myself and with my work, which is writing books for teens. That’s what I do. It’s part of who I am. Even more so, it’s part of who I want to be. I have goals. I have plans. I work toward those goals. I enact those plans. Yet, at times, it seems to be not enough.

I believe I’m ambitious, because I want things and I work for them. Where I run into trouble is when I’m dealing with others. In this society, ambition is narrowly defined. This isn’t a choose-your-own-adventure kind of life, according to some. I’ve been accused of being unambitious. I’ve been accused of giving up, because I didn’t go to medical school, like I thought I might. I didn’t go to law school, like I thought I might. I’ve quit jobs I hated that could have led me to jobs I loved if I’d only stuck it out, paid my dues. Etc.

I’m ambitious, yes, but not in a way that feels real in the world, because I’m only able to motivate myself to do things I want to do. I easily stay up late at night writing. Working on my website design. Researching random topics for my books. I have to force myself to stop these activities in the wee hours. But I’d have trouble dragging myself to an office daily to plod through assigned tasks at a desk. It’s not that I can’t. I’ve done it. But I don’t want to, so I’ve built a life that lets me not have to. To me, that’s the height of ambition – making the world work for you, not the other way around. But the world looks upon me as someone who couldn’t hack it, so gave up and went away. Why?

What is ambition? Is it the drive to achieve a particular kind of success, or simply the degree of passion with which you pursue and enact your dreams? Does it imply willingness to endure any possible hardship to reach a certain endgame?

Friday Forum: Making a Living

We've talked a bit about jobs and work culture on the blog recently, and we were wondering what your own experience is.

Do you work in an office or at home? Do you freelance, volunteer, have a corporate job? In a country where our identity is often linked to our careers, do you find that you're defined by your occupation?

April's Monthly Meet-Up

For all of those who'll be in NYC on April 28th, be sure to stop by at this month's meet-up!

The Women's Mosaic & CHICKS ROCK! Monthly Meet-up:
Celebrating Earth Day & The Environment

On April 28th, come by to celebrate our planet! Say hello and connect with friends old and new while learning more about TWM & CHICKS ROCK! in the back lounge at SideBAR, located at 118 East 15th Street at Irving Place just off of Union Square.

Event from 7-9pm; OPEN BAR from 7-8pm

COST: $10 donation; FREE for TWM Members

You can RSVP any of the following ways:
If you're on Meetup, RSVP here; on Facebook, RSVP here; or simply send an email.

Can't wait to meet our readers there!

The State of Silence

In my previous post about silence, I wrote about what it's like when verbal communications break down. Silence can speak volumes, as the saying goes, and recently, I have discovered how potent silence is in professional settings. I am amazed at how much we as human beings communicate with each other without saying one word.

In my current position, my work space is located in a department where silence reverberates all around me. Since moving to my new location several months ago, I have had very few personal interactions with the people who work around me. I believe their silence towards me is mainly because I don’t have any work-related dealings with them. Saying a simple “hello” or just smiling at someone are daring moves; I am amused by their non-verbal rejections of simple politeness, because they seem ridiculous. I don’t go out of my way to communicate with them either, especially now. Through non-verbal communication, I understand they don’t want me to approach them and start a conversation. Their apparent lack of interest made me uninterested in pursuing an acquaintance with them.

There are three people who are exceptions to this -- when I see them, they have said hello and I have even had conversations with them. They have helped ease the awkwardness of my presence in their department, which I am grateful for. As for the others, I feel indifferent about their silence towards me. I don’t take it personally, because they don’t know me at all and I don’t know them. Some of them seem like nice people; I hear indistinct conversations they have with loved ones on the phone and their co-workers, I hear them laugh at jokes, and of course discuss work with other people in the company in productive ways. I realize that we just don’t have anything to say to one another, and that isn’t a bad thing. Ultimately, I understand and appreciate the silence, because at least it allows me to focus on my work.

How do you handle the "state of silence" in your lives?

Expectations and Celebrations

I've never been one to make a big deal about birthday celebrations. To me, birthdays are a great time to be a wee bit lazy and a bit more selfish than usual. But all the partying and planning just exhausts me before the day even comes. Depending on how many social circles somebody has and how they mix together, there could be a number of smaller events to plan as well. It seems to me, though, that plans always fall through no matter how simple or elaborate they are, and the disappointment that comes with that is never worth it, in my opinion.

This is what I kept telling people this year as they constantly asked me what I was planning for my big day. They all insisted I do something, but almost every attempt I made fell apart days or even hours before. In the end, I just let it all go and stuck to my gut. I knew I didn't want any hassles, and that I'd be perfectly happy with some quiet time and a break for my brain, so that's what I went with.

Because of that, I had a great birthday this year! I had dinner one night with my sorority sisters, and I relaxed for the rest of weekend with my sisters and my guy. We spent the entire weekend drinking wine, watching movies, eating pizza, and all the seemingly boring but actually pleasurable things I never have time to do.

So even though the days leading up to my "celebration" were more stressful than I would've liked, I'm happy that I got to spend a quiet weekend with the people I love most.

What Do You Do? (Freelance, Part I)

As a full-time author/writer, I find myself growing more and more frustrated with the tightness I see in people’s faces when I describe myself as such. When I say I’m an author, there’s a polite moment of conversation about what I write, but it often leads back to a follow-up question: “But what do you do for a living?” I’m forced to respond: “Umm... I WRITE. Books. Some of them are even published...” That’s when the tight expressions set in.

I’m irritated. I couldn’t care less what other people think of me – on the one hand. But on the other hand, the frequency of these reactions makes me wonder about the cause of them. Is what I’m doing really all that strange? Lots of people patch together a living in bizarre ways, right? I’m really not alone. Am I?

Since becoming a “freelancer,” I’ve become acutely sensitive to conversations about what people “do” for a living. Career is such a go-to topic in mingling conversations and small talk. I’ve come to believe that there’s a deeply ingrained stigma against self-employment. People seem to think it implies unemployment, lack of job skills, laziness, or avoidance of “real” work. Even people who know what I do constantly ask me how I’m earning money. This baffles me. Granted, writing does not pay well at my level. Any income is prized, especially in this economy. But why is it an object of fascination to so many people?

When I describe my schedule as “flexible,” people read that to mean I’m not doing anything with my time. But just because I can easily arrange to hold a meeting in the middle of the day, or leave town at a moment’s notice doesn’t mean I’m not still putting in a full day’s work – if not more.

I’m tired of defending myself to people I don’t really care about. I’m tired of hearing “well, you’re not working, so...” Should I just suck it up and smile tightly back? Or is there something I can do to educate people about my work, and that it’s not just make-believe?

Friday Forum: Spring Break

Now that we've spent a week on a virtual "spring break," we're curious to hear about everyone else's real spring break plans.

Have any of you recently gone on a vacation, or do you have plans to go on one some time this year? If so, where are you going and for how long? If not, where would you like to go if you had the chance?

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 4

Today is our fourth day of "spring break" here at CHICKS ROCK!. This week, we're going to take a break from our regular posting and instead highlight some topics we've covered.

Today, you can read up on our posts by guest bloggers and engage or re-engage in those discussions. You can also learn how to be a guest blogger at CHICKS ROCK! by checking out our guidelines.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 3

Today is our third day of "spring break" here at CHICKS ROCK!. This week, we're going to take a break from our regular posting and instead highlight some topics we've covered.

Today, you can read up on our posts about finding your voice and engage or re-engage in those discussions.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 2

Today is our second day of "spring break" here at CHICKS ROCK!. This week, we're going to take a break from our regular posting and instead highlight some topics we've covered.

Today, you can read up on our posts about diversity and engage or re-engage in those discussions.

Spring Break at CHICKS ROCK! Day 1

As we mentioned on Friday, we've reached the 6-month mark, so this week is going to be a "spring break" here at CHICKS ROCK!. We're going to take a break from our regular posting and instead highlight some topics we've covered on the blog.

Today, you can read up on our posts about personal growth, and engage or re-engage in those discussions.

Friday Forum: Meet & Greet

We launched this blog on September 15 as a way to share our stories and build a community. Now that we're more than six months in, we've got a good range of stories we've shared and even more coming up. So in trying to focus more on the second part of our goal - building a community - we want everyone to take a minute or two to quickly introduce themselves to us and to each other. There are a number of readers and subscribers, but we don't hear from everyone as often as we should.

So come on out and de-lurk, give a little shout so we know you're out there, and share something about yourself -- your name, where you live, what you do for a living, whatever you'd like us to know.

Reaching the Summit

CHICKS ROCK! wants you to welcome our latest guest blogger, Sadi:

Sadi is in finance and enjoys spending time with her family and friends. She also loves dining out and listening to live music in the village, in NYC.


December 2003: my last vacation. Since then, I graduated college, worked as a consultant, started an events company, and dove into Wall Street. Throughout these times, I wanted to keep going and accomplish the most I could before letting go and breaking the rhythm.

Finally, I was at a stopping point – Bear Stearns collapsed; I landed safely at a Hedge Fund. It was time to get away.

I took my parents with me to treat them for their support, and we chose a place not many people we knew had explored – Quito, Ecuador. We centered ourselves in Quito but took 1-day excursions away from the city. Our first day, a tour guide picked us up early and by 7 am, we were on the road to visit Cotopaxi, one of the highest active volcanoes in the world. I asked the tour guide to bring bikes, letting him know we wanted to bike around the landscape.

We arrived in the middle of nowhere and all around us was greenery, rock formations, and the one and only, Cotopaxi. He took us to the summit where hikers climb to the peak and bikers supposedly cycle down the steep path 14,000 meters high. At the summit, the climate changed from sunny to snowy, and temperatures dropped. This is where the biking was supposed to happen. Since I hadn’t been on a bike in 10 years, I felt like curling up into fetal position -- my parents decided to stay in the car and “follow” me down.

Suddenly, I was going fast down the difficult path and there was no car behind me. My body was bouncing around and I looked up and shocked myself – I was the only soul to be seen in this enormous area. My adrenaline was so high and I finally let myself go, enjoying a new feeling of pure happiness, accomplishment, and peace.

And then, I crashed.

My parents found me tangled up in the bike, on a rock as big as my body – but with a smile on. The wipeout was not the negative part of the adventure – it was simply the snowcap on the peak.

Applying Our Financial Knowledge

I am not one of those people who need a coffee fix at their favorite coffee shop or chain every morning, or buy $10 lunches at work. Even before the recession hit us hard, we all knew that using credit cards like limitless cash and paying just the minimum monthly payment are habits that will keep people in debt for life. Now that some of our worst financial nightmares have come true, I know that the “rainy days” are here to stay for a while. Instead of living in constant fear, we have to make the hard choices and change our bad financial habits for good. Even when the economy rebounds and employment rates go through the roof, I will not become financially complacent again. The lessons all of us are learning now are too painful to forget.

I have done my best to avoid debt like the plague. Refusing to use credit cards is the most effective method. I have a debit card that can be used like one, but I am always mindful of my bank balance and never go over it. Last year, I opened a credit card account at a well-known department store to obtain a discount on a purchase, but I immediately paid off my balance and have not used the account since. I still get letters promising all kinds of savings if I make more purchases on the account. I’m not tempted to do so.

Since my detox began, I hardly ever go out to dinner. If I have to buy something, I have dietary as well as financial limitations to consider. It can be frustrating, but I have to admit I feel good when I see how my cutbacks on eating out pay off. I have also always been a very careful shopper, and I will continue to be so. I try not to make frivolous purchases, and when I do I always try to make up for them by cutting back on others or returning them, if I am allowed.

Do you have any savings' tips to share?

I Went to WAM! & All I Got Was...

This past weekend, I attended the Women, Action & the Media Conference (WAM!) in Boston. It was a really great event with informative panels and inspiring media-makers.

A lot of what I took away from this weekend came from the sessions I attended. The panel about gender, non-conformity and the media really made me question how we view gender, and echoed a lot of my own ambivalence about labels. A workshop about self-publishing not only gave me practical skills I can keep in mind and share with other writers, but also reaffirmed the importance of advocating for yourself, putting your work out there, and learning how to fight for the creative control you desire. In another session, I saw a short film entitled Not Yet Rain about the realities of abortion access in Ethiopia, inspiring me to become more involved in public health and human rights around the world.

The most important thing I got out of the conference was a stronger confidence in my own work. As you would expect at an event like this, I often had to explain to people what I do, and I got to share my love for activism and writing with almost everyone I met. I really got a sense that these were my kind of people, so hearing their support of my work and sometimes even their open admiration was very validating. The thoughts I've been having lately about whether or not any of this is worth it quickly flew out of my mind after my first night at WAM! I spent the rest of the weekend trying to soak in all of the advice and affirmation I could.

Even though my trip was exhausting, it was such a good experience, and I wouldn't have changed anything about it. The things I learned and the self-confidence I gained were enough for me to get my money's worth. But my favorite part was meeting the people I've been building relationships with online through blogs and on Twitter. They're even more awesome in person, and we all got along very well. I also met a lot of new people, and learned things from every one of them.

I can't wait for the next conference!

Reflecting My Vision

On Saturday, I attended The Women’s Mosaic’s spring Visioning Workshop. Visioning is an intensive personal collage-making process that inspires people to use creativity and intuition to tap into their subconscious dreams and desires. The goal is to capture images – abstract or literal – that represent the life you want; by interpreting and embracing those images, you empower yourself to make the choices that will lead you there.

I’ve participated in quite a few visioning workshops over the past five years, and each time, the collage process seems to have something different to offer. Sometimes it manages to invigorate or refresh me. Other times, it leaves me feeling reflective. Or inspired. Or challenged by the thoughts that surface when I really give myself time to be alone with what I feel.

The magic of visioning, for me, lies partly in its familiarity, but just as much in the fact that you never can know exactly what to expect. The point, of course, is to reach inside yourself and grapple with questions like “What do I want?” and “How do I get it?” without allowing yourself to pre-judge or discredit the answers based on so-called logic or practicality.

When I’m able to enter the visioning space with a truly open mind, I never cease to be surprised by what emerges. At times it can almost be as powerful as seeing yourself through new eyes.
When I look at my latest collage, I see spaces of beauty. I see strangeness, and passion, and promise. I see adventure – not the reckless kind, but the kind that unfolds slowly and fills you with richness. I see myself at a moment in time where there are many possibilities, but many uncertainties. Where there’s a delicate balance between things hoped for and things earned, between embracing the things that truly define me and recognizing the things I allow to represent me that are merely shadows.

It seems these images are telling me to get out in the world and just be me.

Do you have a Visioning Workshop story? Even if you haven’t done the workshop, what do you see when you picture the future?

Friday Forum: Looking Forward

For the final Friday Forum celebrating Women's History Month, we want to know what hopes you have for our daughters, granddaughters, great-granddaughters and so on? What do you want for the women of the future?

Women Warriors Part II

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week:

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.

Join her at TWM's Visioning Workshop this Saturday, March 28. See her speak for free April 4 at Equinox when she presents: Spring Cleaning for the Soul.


In our Spring TWM eNewsletter, I thank the Women Warriors of the past for getting us to a place where we can now truly be whoever we want to be regardless of our gender. I think we are entering into another phase of being ‘women warriors’ in the broadest sense of the word - we are fighting for the right to live the lives we want – for our ability to be in touch with our deepest desires and having the courage to obtain them; to express who we are and what we want in a most unapologetic way.

I’d like to think of the term “warrior” here as a concept for forging our own path, regardless of what the outside world is telling us we should or should not be doing, can or cannot achieve. Now is the time to fight for your Self to fully exist. It is a time to be strong and fight for yourself like a mother bear would fight for her cub; to make your life your own, a work of art; to craft and shape it in the way that suits you best and fits your own personal definition of beauty, fulfillment and happiness. Only when we do that can we really become warriors for others, which won't always have to be in an external way - simply by exercising our right to be who we are allows others to do the same.

It has taken years of struggle and sacrifice from thousands of women warriors before us to push through to this point, where we can be the full contributors to society we are meant to be. Let us be so grateful that we do not have to deal with the severe limitations of the past and can determine our own destiny in every area of our lives.

As I mentioned in my previous post, now is a great time to do some self-reflection and find a treasure trove of strength, talent and resources we never knew we had. Make the most of this opportunity and gift that you have been given from our foremothers - make yourself better, fight for who you are, what you love, what you want to do, what you believe in. Fight the good fight, but fight for yourself, your individuality first and foremost, and all else will follow...

Escapism, to a Fault

I don’t know about any of you, but I personally get caught up in my own thoughts, sometimes to the point where I have to kick myself back into the real world. I go through these phases where I move through the daily routines of life in an almost robotic fashion, but my mind is swimming with thoughts of other places, other situations, and other people. Maybe it happens when one is in a rut, or maybe it's just me, but I know that too much escapism is not a good thing.

Ever since I was a child I had a very active imagination, and it served as an escape from the peer pressure and meanness of my fellow classmates at school. I was too sweet, too sensitive, and too brown in my small Catholic school class, and the other students and a few teachers took advantage of these “shortcomings” for their own reasons. When family life got to me at the same time, there was nothing I liked better than reading a great book, watching a good movie or TV show, or just writing little stories and drawing sketches to immerse myself in my fantasy world.

I could handle my dreams; reality was harder to deal with. Even when I went to college, met better people and had more positive experiences, I would find myself getting swept away by my imagination at times. Some people don’t surrender so easily, but I have been known to do so on certain occasions.

The Internet has become a major source of my temporary escapism, which we all know can be very addictive. I have to use the Internet for work, but I have to discipline myself more to resist the temptations that the World Wide Web has to offer. It is too easy to waste time looking up random (sometimes useless) information.

Can you relate? How do you reconcile the realities of life with your imagination?

Why Can't I Do It Alone?

As I've said in before, I'm currently engaged to a guy I love very much and love spending time with. It's great fun, but sometimes I like doing fun things on my own. So, for the past few weeks, I've been doing more by myself. I've eaten out, gone for walks, and other things I could probably do with somebody else, but just really like doing alone too. Usually, nobody really pays attention to me. I just blend in with the background or they assume I'm waiting for somebody.

The only time this is not the case is when I go to the movies alone. Loud gasps all around, oh the horror! - I know. I go up to the ticket counter and ask for one ticket, get whatever snack I want ("just one, thanks"), and find a seat without worrying if one of them is taken. The first time I went to the movies alone, I thought I was imagining it, but now that I've done it more I'm convinced that some people are really surprised to see me alone.

I once spoke to a single friend of mine who seemed embarrassed at the thought of going to the movies alone. She could do pretty much everything else on her own, but the movies? No way! That's just... weird! Only lonely, old people do that. Even when telling my guy about going to the movies alone, he suddenly acts as if this somehow means I'm lonely and he's neglecting me.

I don't really get it. Is it just me? In college there were a couple of times when I went to the movies on my own. If it was going to be a hassle to coordinate with other people and I really wanted to watch something, I went. Why is it such a big deal, why can't I do it alone?

Does any of you have something you do on your own that people usually do in groups? Do you find that being in a relationship increases that expectation?

Spring Cleaning

It feels like spring is finally on its way. As a result, I’m suddenly itching to get my apartment in tip-top shape. This is strange, because I’m not the sort of person who steadfastly believes in spring cleaning, or anything related to it, but this year it seems like this would be a good time to poke around the closets, sort through some paper piles, sell some books back to the Strand, and the like. (To be honest, this desire is not unrelated to the fact that I have an out-of-town friend coming to visit in a couple of weeks!)

A while ago, Pauline posted about battling clutter. My space, too, tends to get crowded with books, papers, clothing, etc. New York City apartments are small, of course, so it’s instinctive to think that there just isn’t enough space. But really there’s just too much stuff. Much that I probably don’t need. With the economy the way it is, I’ve been careful lately about my purchases, which I think has made me more aware of the things I already own.

Browsing in the bookstore last weekend, I bought a book about organizing and clearing out clutter. It advocates drawing a pretty harsh line between what you actually need and use, and what is extra. Seems great, right? Everything would be streamlined if I followed these directions. But at a time like this, when I still want to be careful about what I buy, I also want to be careful about what I throw out.

We pack-rats save stuff for the day when we might need it. Or for the day when we might not be able to get it elsewhere. It kind of feels like those days could be coming. Let’s hope not, but how do you justify getting rid of potentially useful things (clothes, etc.) when money is tight?

Friday Forum: Building Movements

As we continue Women's History Month, we want to reflect on the activists who came before us and got us to where we are now.

With that in mind, how connected are you to the feminist/womanist/humanist movement? Do you identify with any of these labels? Why or why not?

March's Monthly Meet-Up

For all of those who'll be in NYC on March 31st, please be sure to stop by our new monthly meet-up!

The Women's Mosaic & CHICKS ROCK! Monthly Meet-up:
In Celebration of Women's History Month: I Am Woman Hear Me Roar!

On March 31st, come by to celebrate all that it means to be a woman at the culmination of Women's History Month! Say hello and connect with friends old and new while learning more about TWM & CHICKS ROCK! in the back lounge at SideBAR, located at 118 East 15th Street at Irving Place just off of Union Square.

Event from 7-9pm; OPEN BAR from 7-8pm

COST: $10 donation; FREE for TWM Members

You can RSVP any of the following ways:
If you're on Meetup, RSVP here. Or simply send an email.

If you can't make it this month, don't worry! We've got meet-ups lined up for the next few months.

Resourceful in a Recession

There is no question that the domestic and international economic situations are pretty grim. With the highest unemployment rate since the early 1980s, many people are lamenting the current crisis and fearing it will last longer than expected. While I understand the situation and know people who have been laid off or lost property during these difficult times, we cannot give in to despair. We have to think “outside of the box” to survive during this recession. It's easier said than done, because we are all used to our routines and regular paychecks, but I think it is the only way we can weather this economic storm.

This means exploring other careers in other fields and industries we may not have thought of doing before. I recently spoke to someone who lost his job working in a dentist’s office and decided to start his own remodeling and construction business. He put his creative skills as an artist and his experience with home improvement projects to good use by working on a variety of jobs for many clients at the same time. He is feeling the effects of the recession like all of us, but is still doing well because he's flexible and willing to compromise.

People looking for specific jobs in specific fields, such as finance and communications, find themselves in fierce competition with more candidates than ever before. I recently saw a report on television about how many men have lost their jobs, while many women are still working, for less pay. One man has been home for almost a year after being laid off from his financial securities position, which he had for almost twenty years. He has been sending his resume to various financial institutions everyday, hoping for the best. In this case, the man with the MBA is not faring much better than the high school graduate.

Stories like these inspire me to be more resourceful. I am looking at other positions, attending more networking events, volunteering, and so forth. This is definitely not the time for any of us to be complacent.

Are you being resourceful during this recession?

An Extended Trip Down the Aisle

I've been engaged for almost 18 months now, and have made zero progress on wedding plans. It seems that the idea that weddings are really for your family and friends and not for yourself is especially true in my case, because everyone is getting antsy. People bring it up so often now that my guy and I agree that we wish we had never told anybody about our engagement.

My guy and I are very busy people. We barely have time to eat and sleep, let alone plan a wedding. We also aren't very big on the idea of having lavish wedding plans, or spending tons of money on one day, or any other traditional notion of weddings and marriage. We thought at first this would make it easier to plan something, but being unique takes much more time than blindly following the rules laid out in a wedding planning for dummies book.

The thing is, though, that we're completely okay with waiting. Nothing is going to drastically change for us by getting married, so we're not in any rush to have a wedding.

Unfortunately for us, everyone else seems to think it's a huge deal. They're pondering what's taking so long -- Are we commitment-phobic or otherwise freaking out about the idea of getting married? Are we not financially secure enough to afford a wedding? Are we secretly broken up and just don't want to tell anybody? The speculation and constant questioning is driving us up the wall.

We don't want to be rushed into something just to make everyone else happy, but we're also pretty tired of the drama we're creating by not making this enough of a priority in everyone else's eyes.

Does anybody else find that your wedding was more about your guests than your relationship? Did you feel pressure to get it done right away?

Writing Black

I write books for teens. I’m finding that my recently-released civil rights era novel sparks conversation about people’s experiences of race, now and in the past. I’m excited by this dialogue. I want it to continue. I’m thrilled to have created a book that resonates with people. Maybe all the nice reviews I’ve gotten are going to my head, but the great reception for my work makes me want to do this again. And again.

The thing is, I know I’ll write other novels. As a matter of fact, I’ve already written some that are in various stages, even approaching publication. But they’re not all historical, not all about race, and they don’t even all star black characters. Is this a problem? I’m starting to be worried that it is.

I feel a responsibility to put forth more books about black children. Historical, contemporary, fantasy, whatever. There aren’t enough out there. As a black author, I must notice and concern myself with filling that void. But this feeling wars with another sense of responsibility – the desire to reflect my experiences through art in ways that may require a wider range of characters to populate my books. For one thing, my life experiences haven’t been solely within the black community – after all, I’m biracial. So, should I aim to write biracial kids? (There are even fewer of those books.)

From an artistic perspective, we’re taught to tell the stories that speak to us, regardless. Self-editing for social reasons is a no-no. Self-editing at all is a worry for later. Well, it’s later. And from a career perspective I believe these things do matter. I don’t mind bucking the mold of “black author,” for my own sake, but I also think that my art stops being just about me when it is on its way to an audience.

That’s enough beating around the bush. Here’s the crux of it: As a black woman writer, do I have an obligation to write stories about black women? Black girls? Black people in general?

I’m curious what other people, readers and writers, think about this issue.

Friday Forum: Dinner Time

It's the second week of our Women's History Month-themed Friday Forums. This week we've got one of those questions that's bound to have interesting answers:

If you could have dinner with three women, from the past or present, who would you choose and why?

Guten Tag Deutschland! (Good Day Germany)

CHICKS ROCK! wants you to welcome Bridget back as a guest blogger this week:

Bridget is a senior at Vassar College, studying Political Science and Women's Studies. She loves watching movies with her younger brother and playing rugby for her school.


Ever since being abroad in Denmark for a semester, I've been fascinated how language serves as a key to understanding the fundamental values and viewpoints of a society. For instance, Denmark's value of treating people equally is reflecting in their language, as there is no formal way of addressing someone, unlike how Spanish has “Usted” and German has “Sie.” On a functional level, knowing a little Danish went a long way for me in my daily errands, navigating streets and reading menus.

Still infected with the traveling bug, I decided to take two German Studies classes last semester. I took The Culture of Transparency, a course tracing the dark undercurrents of Germany's totalitarian history and its utopian aspirations as a new international locus of culture, and a course called Marx, Nietzsche, and Freud, which drew connections between these influential thinkers, studying their analysis of political systems, entire disciplines, and even the death of God.

What drew me most to the works of these authors and thinkers was how they were “masters of suspicion.” They exposed the hidden dark and powerful forces like economic motives, unconscious desires, and the will to power that shapes our reality. In class, I was deeply jealous that the German majors were able to read the original text, extracting deeper meanings in the words' charged German context. By not fully grasping the cleverness of the German language and the author's specific word choice, I felt like I was reading a muted down version of masterpieces. Too much was being lost in translation.

Curious to know more about a culture that produces such great works like “Death in Venice” and “The Three Penny Opera,” I've dedicated myself to studying the German language intensively. Class is everyday with an extra four drill sessions a week, where a fellow German student does blitz drills to get us more comfortable speaking the language and conjugating verbs. It's not easy memorizing the words for the multitude of German sausages and meats, but I am proud I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone and I am not just 'coasting' my senior year. Also, I'm so excited that I can finally watch all the great German post-new cinema without relying on subtitles. And come April, I'll be reading Kafka's work in its original text!

Do you speak a second language? Have you ever been able to experience foreign literature or film in its original language?

When Distance is Best

There are times during conflicts when lines of communication break down. Even if one or both parties want to make things work, there may be issues they cannot compromise on. We see this in negotiations between countries, religious, ethnic and political groups in the news all the time. In our own relationships with family, significant others, and friends, we run the risk of "hitting a wall" when it comes to compromise. In my own experiences, I have learned to accept when countless negotiations just don’t work anymore, distance becomes the best option.

There is one member of my family whom I will always love and be there for, but I am giving him plenty of space because of this issue. He doesn’t seem to understand the difference between well-intentioned advice and insults, which causes constant friction. I have tried to make peace without compromising myself or the truth.

Up until this point, my diplomatic efforts have been spurned or ignored completely. He is currently not speaking to me, but it isn’t the first time he's given me or other family members the silent treatment. Months and even a few years have gone by with complete avoidance. Instead of pressing him to make peace, I have adopted what seems to the best course of action, which is staying out of his way. Even in sad, upsetting situations like these, I find myself learning to be even more patient and realistic than I already am.

When I came to the realization that a long-term friendship could be over for good, I began remembering how communications between us started to fall apart. I knew things were bad when I kept defending my actions and intentions to someone I thought understood me. Even after I thought we came to a resolution, the same misunderstandings came back to the surface, with the same tensions and resentments accompanying them. Temporary or permanent distance may be the only options we have, but I know that whatever happens, it will be for the best.

How do you deal with breakdowns in communication?

Getting Inked

I've always found tattoos to be a great way of expressing yourself, documenting things that are important to you, and a source of inspiration. I got my first tattoo over a year ago, and am ready for my next one.

The image I want for my next tattoo is the symbol for the mantra om mani padme hum. I've found many sources that speculate about the exact meaning, but there seems to be a consensus that it essentially comes down to compassion, including self-compassion.

Everyone who knows me fairly well knows that compassion for others and empathy drives everything I do. My work, my hobbies, how I treat my friends and strangers, all of it.

I do not, however, treat myself the same way. I have a lot of confidence when it comes to my abilities, but I do not show myself very much compassion or love at all. I don’t eat as well as I should, I don’t try hard enough to get good sleep, I don’t work out as regularly as I should, I beat myself up constantly over the stupidest things, I blame myself for everything wrong that happens around me. Basically, I’m a big ball of negativity when it comes to myself.

So, I wanted to get this tattoo as a regular reminder that there is strength in the compassion I give to others, and that doing more of that can only help. But I also need to remember to give at least that much compassion to myself.

For me, finalizing the placement is just as important as the design. I currently have a tattoo on my back, and I forget it’s there. Because of what this tattoo means to me, I want to get this one on my forearm (like Alanis’ breathe and gentle tattoos). I want it somewhere visible, so it can really serve as a daily reminder, and my forearm seems like the best place for that.

Do you have any tattoos? What are they of and where do you have them?

The Lunch Table

Recently, I’ve been to several writers’ retreats and conferences that involve eating in a cafeteria for lunch. Writers, by nature, tend to be introverted people, often with past experiences of being outcast in some way — but shyness and the lunchroom simply don’t mix. It’s come up in my conversations with people at some of these functions that no matter how old we get, it can still be awkward to walk into a cafeteria, tray in hand, and have to decide where to sit.

So many things go through your mind in those moments – where is there an empty seat? Who is it next to? Do they like me? Do I like them? Is this a person I can make conversation with? Or is it going to be weird? Are they saving the seat for someone? Will I ask to join them and be denied? Et cetera...

After repeated experiences entering the dining room solo, you learn that it’s best to arrive in packs. You wait to get in line until you see a friend, so you automatically know who you’ll be sitting with. Or, you cultivate your social skills enough that you can link up with new acquaintances in the lunch line. You do whatever you can to avoid starting from scratch when you walk in.

Inevitably, the experience throws us back to our younger days, when navigating the lunchroom was an everyday occurrence. It reminds some of us why we’re glad to have grown up, after all, so we don’t have to deal with this kind of stress all the time.

It’s amazing how old uncertainties can linger. These writer friends I’ve made are, for the most part, bold and self-assured individuals who are making their mark on the world in various ways. Some work in libraries fighting censorship and helping little readers find the books that will blow their minds. Some are schoolteachers, who face the toughest audiences on a daily basis with confidence and calm. Yet, we feel nervous about sitting at big tables, just like when we were kids.

Friday Forum: Inspirational Women

In honor of Women's History Month, this month's Friday Forums will have that theme.

This week we're asking you, who are the women that inspire you? What is it about them that you find so inspiring? These women can be living or dead, famous strangers or close friends, etc.

We'd love to hear your answers.

Job Loss as Personal Growth

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week:

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.

See her speak for free this Saturday at Equinox when she presents: Pink Slips: How Losing Your Job Can Be a Good Thing


If you are one of those people who has lost your job, or feel like a pink slip is on the horizon, I want you to know that I believe this can be one of the best things that will ever happen to you.

Job loss can give you the opportunity to make a career move you've needed all along but were too afraid, lazy or apathetic to do anything about. If you've been stuck in a rut, been unhappy with your career, or needed to re-shift your work/life balance, this is the time you can do it. Losing your job forces you to examine every area of your life and gives you no choice but to take action, make changes and grow. It asks you to re-evaluate your sense of self -– is your identity and self worth solely based on your job, career or salary? Those can be some tough questions, but we should all examine ourselves like that at least once in our lives and are always better off by doing so.

The loss of a job gives you the chance to assess and re-prioritize what in life is meaningful to you, and what you have or have not been doing up until now to achieve those things. One’s career choice is at the top of that list, and it is a serious reality check on all levels. But in reality, this is a good thing, because then you can start making decisions that get you closer to where you really want to be.

Right now, a lot of people are doing some serious soul-searching: they are looking to value things more important than money; they are finding internal strength and personal resources they might not have discovered otherwise. An increase in community, innovation and altruism will occur as a result of all that’s happening, and as difficult as this time is, at the end of this cycle I do think we will end up being more fulfilled and grounded than ever. Although our net worth may be less, our quality of life can improve dramatically and become enriched in other ways.

It certainly is a tough time if you haven’t prepared in any way, but it can also be a good one for those who can accept change with the right attitude and can take those proverbial lemons and make some tasty lemonade!

Have you lost your job recently or in the past? How have you grown as a result? What are some changes that have occurred?

Back to Pen and Paper

Don’t you just love it when someone sends you a handwritten letter, card, or postcard in the mail? When I see it stacked with the usual bills and junk mail, it is like shining beacon from the past. At the very least, it reminds me of a time when the Internet was not the “end all or be all” when it came to communication. Now, I mostly get emails, instant messages, tweets (on Twitter), and wall posts on Facebook, which helps me stay connected to people.

Don’t get me wrong; I couldn’t operate without the Internet. It is essential in my work and research, and it makes life so much easier. I’m sure most of you would agree that the World Wide Web is here to stay, but when I receive something handwritten from friends or family members, I am especially touched. Admiring or bemoaning the sender’s penmanship and feeling privileged that someone made the effort to create their words with pen (sometimes pencil) and paper are two reasons why I hope we go back to it every once in a while.

I plan to take my own advice and send a letter or postcard to someone I care about. If it is a letter, I will explain what I’ve been doing to someone who has not seen me in a while. I would make the correspondence interesting of course, without embellishing the truth. A postcard would require a shorter and more concise message, with the front of the card being as eye-catching as the writing itself. I tend to over-think little things like which stationary to choose, but sometimes it is worth it.

I know that going back to pen and paper can feel like a step backwards to some, but I think that being nostalgic for the past is not a bad thing. I hope that wherever she is, Jane Austen agrees with me.

Do you think we are too reliant on our computers and the Internet for everything? What are your thoughts on sending and receiving handwritten correspondence?