Ditching the Plan

I’m usually a very organized person, planning things well in advance. Even when I decide to do something last-minute, I still take a moment to think about a plan before getting started. This weekend took me out of my comfort zone, but I had a great time.

It started on Saturday, when I had a birthday party planned for my guy. I wanted to get up early to make sliders, chicken tenders, etc. before anybody started coming over. But it didn’t exactly turn out that way… Everyone got up late, so I couldn’t clean up or get started with cooking until quite late in the day. By the time we were getting food in the oven and on the stovetop grill, there were already several people in the apartment. My sister was surprised and said “Why didn’t you already have this done? This is not like you.” But instead of dwelling on it as I normally might, I had fun with it and focused on getting it done. I missed out on the beginning of the party, but the food was a hit.

I guess that attitude carried over to the next day. The only plan I had for the day was an early workout and then cleaning the apartment. After the workout, however, we decided to grab lunch at a cute spot nearby. Then my guy decided he wanted to get his tattoo and asked us if we were interested in going with him. My sister and I headed down, and we both ended up getting tattoos at the last minute. Then, despite being exhausted and planning to clean and sleep for the rest of the night, we thought it’d be fun to go to the movies instead.

After a weekend of ditching the plan and dabbling in spontaneity, I can definitely see the appeal. Sure, I’m beyond exhausted and the apartment is a mess, but I had a great time, I got the tattoo I’ve been wanting for a while, and spent quality time with my sister. I may be doing this more often.

Old Familiar Pages

I've taken a bit of a break from my work life over this past week. I'm calling it "vacation," as opposed to "slacking," but in reality, it's probably somewhere on the borderline. Basically I've been sitting around watching movies and new summer t.v. series by night, and by day, poring over my bookshelves and re-reading some favorite volumes.

I'm a big fan of re-reading books. They fall into different categories for me, for example: 1) books I recall enjoying, but can't remember too much about the actual story; 2) ones I read and loved and remember, and just want to dive into again to recapture a certain feeling; and 3) ones I started but never finished, for whatever reason. Sometimes I know exactly what I'm getting into, and other times I'm surprised by what I find inside a familiar cover.

This time around I've tackled Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (J.K. Rowling), The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins), I Was Told There'd Be Cake (Sloane Crosley), and a couple of paperbacks each by Lee Child and Sandra Brown. I sometimes feel a bit guilty for reading books I've already read, when there are so many new books out there waiting to be discovered. And, for diving repeatedly toward such bestsellers, when there are many new young authors like myself whose work may entertain, comfort, excite, or inspire me just as much.

Books have a way of opening new worlds for me, and nothing parallels the thrill of turning a page and truly not knowing what happens next. Still, there are times when I want to be lulled by familiar words, to turn to characters I've already met and who I can return to as one might turn to good friends, and to look forward to a particular scene or turn of phrase that meets my mood at that moment. I crave new adventures, sure, but sometimes tracing a well-traveled path is wonderful, too.

Friday Forum: Globe Trotter

Summer vacations are a great time to explore new countries around the world. Even though vacations are only a few days or a few weeks, it's hard not to imagine what it'd be like to live in the places we visit.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose to live and why?

Summer Break 2010 - Day 4

It's day 4 of our summer break here at CHICKS ROCK!

Today, we want you to read through our guest bloggers' posts. Take a look at the diverse experiences they've brought to the blog, and be sure to submit your own post.

Summer Break 2010 - Day 3

It's day 3 of our summer break here at CHICKS ROCK!

Take a look back and read through Pauline's posts to connect with her thoughts and experiences. Leave a comment and engage on a post you like.

Summer Break 2010 - Day 2

It's day 2 of our summer break here at CHICKS ROCK!

Today, look back at read back on Sally's posts and connect with her thoughts and experiences. Leave a comment and join the conversation on a post you like.

Summer Break 2010 - Day 1

It's time for our summer break here at CHICKS ROCK!

Today, we encourage you to read back on Kekla's posts and connect with her thoughts and experiences. Be sure to leave a comment and jump-start the conversation on a post you like.

Friday Forum: Marathon Miles

The spring and summer is a busy time for marathon runners. The Boston Marathon a couple of months back was a major event, but there are various races left throughout the country and abroad before the New York City Marathon in the fall.

Are you a current or aspiring marathon runner? Do you have any marathons, half marathons or 50k races coming up? What are your personal goals?

Link Love for 7/8

Since we went so long without spreading the link love around, we think it's okay to have one again so close to our last round-up, right? So here are some great things we've read online recently.

Girl w/Pen lets us know about a new workplace practice "Results-Only Work Environment" that might be a great move.

Global Sisters shares the findings of a new survey that found gender equality is universally embraced, a promising finding.

In Good Company highlights a post about why you need to take a vacation without your kids.

Lindsey Pollak's blog wants us to learn the secrets of summer career success, like swapping magazines for bios.

NYWSE has a great piece up about using your unique skills to create positive social change.

Hope you enjoy the reading material. What have you been reading and writing lately?

A Sticky Situation

I recently found myself in a sticky situation with my downstairs neighbor, who I had never met before. I just come back from a vacation, and was sitting at my computer when I heard the woman enter through the front door. I heard her rummaging through her grocery bags for a few minutes, and then I heard her get extremely agitated. At first I thought she was yelling at herself, her cat, or at someone on the phone, because I heard her do so on several occasions. When I heard her addressing “the person upstairs,” I was shocked. She complained angrily about the possibility of her eviction, confusion about the rent, her astrological sign, and how she shouldn't be messed with. In other words, it made no sense.

I immediately starting wondering what it was all about. When I am in my apartment, I move around with soft slippers, socks, and my bear feet. I put down area rugs and rug pads in my bedroom and living room, which are requirements in my lease. I also don’t have a television or other noisy appliances that would bother others in the building. In short, I am a very respectful neighbor.

When the episode was over, I met with the assistant apartment manager of my building, who told me that the woman has had difficulties with former occupants and other management personnel. He offered to meet her to ask if she needed anything, and then introduce me to her. I went along with the plan, and it worked out well; I even shook hands with her twice. I walked away from the meeting relieved and a little sad; she appears to have little social contact with people, and her physical and mental capabilities are definitely declining. We did not bring up her earlier tirade, and I sincerely hope it doesn’t happen again. If it does, I will make sure to take appropriate action. For now, I am glad I handled the situation with tact.

How do you handle difficult situations like these? What would you do differently?

Back to School for Your M.R.S.?

I was talking to some friends a few weeks ago and one of them revealed a shocker - at least to me. He mentioned that all of the women on his team at work have admitted that they went to business school was to find a husband. In the 21st century? Really?! There must be cheaper ways to meet men, no?

We didn't talk about this for very long because it was mentioned during a bigger discussion, and either way, the women weren't there for me to ask personally, but this still struck me. I'm going to have to assume, for starters, that nabbing a man was only part of the reason. Business school is expensive, after all, and these women are now working for a major corporation so it's not like they're the 1950s M.R.S. degree stereotype.

But... still. The fact that these women would openly admit that they wanted to go to business school to get a husband makes me think that 1) there must be at least some truth to it and 2) it must be more than a tiny part of their thinking. Which I find shocking and confusing.

Graduate school is really expensive nowadays, and finding something compelling enough to keep your interest for at least a few years is hard. Not to mention the fact that once you get to grad school, you have to work hard and keep your attention on your studies and advancing your career. The idea that, on top of those worries, somebody would want to search for a spouse seems strange to me.

Am I alone in this? Do any of you know somebody who went to grad school to find a husband? What do you think of this?

Twilight Too

Sally's post about the Twilight series rang a bell with me. I, too, am a devoted fangirl of Harry Potter and my new fantasy love is Suzanne Collins's The Hunger Games trilogy, yet, I can't get into Twilight. Part of me wishes I could get it, but part of me is glad to be on the outside of this particular trend.

I read the first book, saw the first movie, and had no interest or intention of continuing to follow the story. This weekend a group of friends dragged me to see movie #3, Eclipse. I confess, I enjoyed the film, despite moments of confusion about the larger arc of the plot. In talking with my fangirl friends after the fact, I began to understand the appeal a bit better--but this understanding left me a bit unsettled.

Here's my problem. The basic premise of Eclipse is that Bella loves Edward (vampire) but also has feelings for Jacob (werewolf). In order to be with Edward, her "true love," Bella must sacrifice her humanity, cut herself off from her family forever, and become a vampire. Jacob, meanwhile, tries to convince her to be with him, because he can accept her for who she is, no change required.

When it comes to choosing teams, I'm with Jacob all the way. I like a good love story, and I get that relationships involve sacrifice and compromise, but I'm uneasy with the message that a girl should give up everything for a guy, even one who promises to love her forever. My fangirl friends argue that I'm reading too much into it, and I should just go with the fantasy. What do you think? Am I a major spoilsport?

Friday Forum: Holiday Plans

With Canada Day behind us, and the 4th of July this weekend, let's celebrate!

What do you do to celebrate independence each year? Family picnic? Watching the fireworks? A weekend abroad? What do you have planned for the holiday?

U S A

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger this week.

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth. Join her at Dream Job Hunting on Monday, July 12.

I had not paid much attention to the World Cup until last week when I happened to catch the second half of the US-Algeria game. The best part was that I was watching it on Univision, so when the US won, the emotional factor went off the charts with the Latin announcers scream-singing "GOOOOAAAALLLL" accompanied by the unbridled enthusiasm that only they can express about the how and why of the win, especially after the bad calls against them in previous games. "La esperanza! La fe! El corazon sobre la forma! La lucha y el espiritu de este equipo que triunfo, que es justo!..."

If you don't speak Spanish, the gist is this: it was all about the spirit,determination, fight and heart of the team, not necessarily anything technical that got them the win. After that, I watched with excitement their dramatic game with Ghana on Saturday. Although they did not advance further, Team USA surely did not lose.

The flamboyant, gender-bending US Olympic figure skater Johnny Weir has had ups and downs throughout his career and his share of unfair marks by international judges. All along he refused to be anything but who he is and always excelled when he put the "Johnny" back in the performance along with his love of the sport, and his costumes.

Although he did not bring home a medal from Vancouver, he skated his personal best and received incredible press, speaking engagements, his own reality show and a bright future ahead. Because he worked extremely hard, remained genuine and let his spirit shine through, Johnny surely did not lose.

What both our soccer team and Weir have in common is that they represented the USA with passion and perseverance, and in true American style embraced who they are, carried on in spite of all obstacles and were victorious in their own ways.

In honor of our upcoming Independence Day, let your Unique Spirit and Authenticity overtake whatever you do and see what happens!

Independence Wasn't Easy

When visiting Massachusetts recently, I felt the strong connection between the present and the past in many of the places I visited. Many areas in New England preserve and honor American history before and after the American Revolution, which I appreciate. The holiday isn’t just about fireworks, barbeques, and pool parties; blood was shed so that thirteen colonies could break free from an oppressive monarchy to become a nation in its own right. I try to remember the meanings of holidays that many of us take for granted, including our Independence Day, because I know there are many parts of the world that do not enjoy the same freedoms that we do. As a dark skinned woman, I felt at ease traveling to various parks and other points of interest without fear; others like me in other countries may not have those same freedoms.

The historical events surrounding Independence Day did not result in complete freedom for everyone, as we all know. Slavery did not end until the following century, Native Americans were deprived of their lands and their way of life, and women did not have the right to vote until 1921, but it was still a step in the right direction. The Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution laid the groundwork for the progress in our country, and both are still admired today. In the middle of all of the Fourth of July celebrations that will be taking place this weekend, I will take at least one moment to think about all of the hard work and sacrifices made by countless people (some we know by name, and many others who we will never know) that have given us the freedoms we have today. As we know from news reports, history books, and perhaps from our own lives, living free does not come easily, even though it should.

Twi-what?

I'm assuming you've heard of Twilight, right? Unless you're living under a rock or are completely out of touch with popular culture, it's hard to think that anybody isn't at least vaguely familiar with the vampire series. Twilight has captured the attention of millions, dominating and influencing entertainment and pop culture for the past few years. Everyone from tweens to moms consider themselves Twi-hards, except for all of us who, well, don't.

Consider me in that camp.

My job requires me, among other things, to stay in tune with what's going on in entertainment, so the premiere of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse this week is kind of a big deal. Which is all well and good, except that I'm not at all a fan. I'm not into vampire lit, and I can't think of one romantic novel I've ever truly enjoyed. I watched the first film and was bored to tears. I just can't get into it. And now I find myself having to learn all about Bella, Team what's-his-face vs. Team that-other-guy, werewolves vs. vampires vs. more vampires (or something?), and so forth.

In realizing just how little I know about this series, I got a strange feeling of being an outsider. For Harry Potter, I was committed. Lost? Never missed an episode. Sex and the City... Dexter... True Blood... I can easily engage in discussions about these cultural phenomena. It makes me feel strangely disconnected to know that I'm missing out on this one.

Then again, I think I've dedicated enough time to overly excited fandoms as of late; I could use a break.

Are you a Twilight fan or have you also stayed off the bandwagon?

The BIG 3-0!

Well, as of this weekend I've officially crossed the threshold from 20s into 30s! I always planned to throw a big party for myself on my 30th birthday, but as it happened this year, the American Library Association decided to throw one for me!

Okay, not for me, exactly, but I came to their annual conference determined to get my little piece of the celebration and festivities. On Saturday I signed copies of The Rock and the River in Simon & Schuster's booth at the ALA conference expo. Then I hung out with friends from Vermont College of Fine Arts who surprised me with an Alumni Achievement Award (I cried) followed by a yummy restaurant dinner complete with key lime pie and a pink candle!

Yesterday I attended an awards banquet, where I found myself surrounded by well-known and up-and-coming YA and children's authors. Strangest of all, I began to truly feel that I could count myself among them! Which brings me to the real reason I'm here at the ALA conference: because my book was selected to receive the Coretta Scott King/John Steptoe Award for New Talent!

Tomorrow morning, at the frightening hour of 7am (!!!! I am such a night person, people. It goes against nature to expect me to function normally before the double digit hours of the morning....but for the CSK Breakfast, I will muster!), I will receive my award, and have my moment to thank the Academy...errr, the CSK selection committee. It's so exciting!

All in all, my 30th weekend did not go as I orginally expected, but I certainly feel the occasion has been extraordinarily well-marked.

Friday Forum: School's Out

For a lot of out there, summer means more than just warm weather; it also means that school's out. For students and parents alike, this can either be great or awful - it means no classes, but also too much time on your hands.

How do you spend the summer? If you're a student, do you take classes or get a job to keep you busy? If you're a parent, do you take more time off to spend with your kids? For everybody else, do you still feel like a student when the summer starts?

Link Love for 6/24

It's been a while since our last link love round-up, so here's some of the great stuff we've been reading online.

Girl w/Pen does a great job of addressing some of the concerns raised about how feminism affects the family.

Global Sister celebrated Father's Day with a piece about the incredible men who stand up as advocates for women.

In Good Company has an interesting post about whether or not having a safety net makes a new business real (the discussion can apply to other areas of life).

Lindsey Pollak's blog features a guest post exploring the jobs that matter for millennials.

One Writeous Chicks delved into the power that fear can have to spring you into action.

Savvy Ladies wants you to have some financial foreplay - getting to know your partner's money, matters.

Be sure to check out these links and leave a link to what you've been reading or writing in the comments.

Summer Resolutions

Summer officially began this week, and I already realize how fleeting the season is. The days are longer, the weather is much warmer, more people go off on vacations and wear less clothing than they usually do, but I am always amazed at how little I accomplish during this time. I already feel that this summer will be different, because I began the season accomplishing more of the things I have always wanted to do. One of these is to travel to places in the United States I have never been to before, I am currently doing that.

To keep the momentum going, I plan to continue to keep myself motivated by not overwhelming myself with too many projects that will be impossible to complete.
Many people make the same mistake when they make New Year’s resolutions, and I am determined not to repeat the same mistake for the summer season. I hope to do more outdoor activities for my health and for general wellness, because working out in a basement can’t beat sweating it out in sunshine and breathing in fresh air. I have recently fallen in love with hiking again, and I want to do more of them as long as the weather stays pleasant. I think my renewed commitment to participating in more outdoor activities comes from seeing the negative effects of sedentary lifestyles on people around me. It isn’t just physical health; I believe that our mental state is a reflection of the external world around us. Summer is a great excuse for me to do this and other things that will hopefully stay with me all seasons of the year.

What new plans do you have the summer?

Female in Relationship Seeking Friend in Relationship

It’s funny that Kekla posted on relationships yesterday, because what I’ve wanted to touch on for a while is friendship… as it relates to relationships.

I’m lucky to have a good core group of friends that I can turn to for almost anything. I have friends who I know can always make me laugh, friends who give great professional advice, friends who I have a lot in common with, and plenty of friends that I just love being around. What I don’t really have, though, are friends that I can easily turn to for relationship advice, or to simply let out my feelings about my relationship. Let me elaborate…

It’s easy enough for my friends to indulge me in general griping – when he’s made a mess in the kitchen, when he’s calling too much, when he’s not calling at all, etc. These are small things I can quickly release, make fun of, and move on from. But anything deeper than that doesn’t work. Most of my friends are single, so the number of conversations that end with “well at least you have a guy” (either in words or in general attitude) are many. Then I have friends who are in relationships, but who I don’t feel comfortable getting advice from because the dynamics of their own relationships are not what I want in mine. The advice they give me is well-meaning, but not anything I’d follow.

And so it is that whenever I am having one of those moments when I need to let out any frustrations or anxiety, or when I just need some really good advice, I usually have to look inward or get advice from a book. So far this has been an adequate strategy, but I can’t imagine it being successful for much longer. Now I’m on a mission to find more friends in relationships that I admire, but something tells me that won’t be so easy.

Do you find that you can’t talk to your single friends about relationships? Or that you can’t talk about being single with your coupled up friends? Where do you turn for advice?

Love and Longevity

Pauline has posted about the pressures on single women (especially those “of a certain age”) to get married and settle down, and Sally has posted about the pressure on committed couples to throw a wedding. I tend to land in the same place they do on this issue, which is to forget about what others think and to move along at my own pace. I don’t worry about it—I just live and let live. But the topic has a tendency to resurface.

A recent Newsweek article* discussing my generation’s shifting attitudes toward marriage cited some intriguing and comforting (to me!) statistics. For instance, the article reports that the median age for marriage in the U.S. is 28 for men, 26 for women—the highest it’s ever been. And apparently waiting isn’t such a bad thing, because: “Every year we put off marriage, our chances of divorce go down.”

The article goes on to ponder the true question of our day: “If you’re going to wait, why do it at all?” If marriage is no longer economically necessary and singledom not so strongly socially taboo, why not skip the expensive party and look for completion in other ways? A woman can make her own living these days, but is it really true that the “old maid” taboo has lifted?

I love the idea of marriage, and I’ve certainly witnessed some strong and beautiful partnerships. In fact, this weekend I attended a lovely wedding ceremony for an old college friend. Yet, I can’t help thinking about all the ways the world has changed in the last half decade. It makes sense to me that the model for marriage set by the likes of Donna Reed and Leave It to Beaver has begun to shift towards something entirely new. The old joke about women going to college to get their “MRS” no longer applies.

In the old days, marriage meant stability and commitment and protection for both parties. Today, plenty of couples commit to one another without the formality. We still value the ideals of partnership and family, and the laws are slowly coming around to support unmarried couples. So what’s the big deal? Is it the same in the end, or isn't it?

*Jessica Bennett and Jesse Ellison. “‘I Don’t’: The Case Against Marriage.” Newsweek, June 21, 2010. p 42-45.

Friday Forum: Father's Day

Even though CHICKS ROCK! is geared towards women, we know that the men in our lives are also important.

Whether it's your father, husband, son or mentors in your life, how do you celebrate the father figures in your life? Will you be celebrating with them this weekend?

Valuing Your Voice

Over the past few weeks, you've gotten a chance to read from various guest bloggers, particularly about health and wellness. Hopefully, reading the words of others has reinforced how much we value the voices of our readers. That's why we want to remind you to submit your guest posts to us!

No matter what's going on in your life, or what happened in the past that you still remember as significant to you, we'd love to hear about it. Check out guest blogging guidelines and submit your post today!

Forgiving the Unrepentant

What do you do when someone wrongs you, you want to forgive them, but they are not sorry at all? It is a dilemma that many of us face, and we handle it in different ways. Some of us hold grudges for weeks, months, and even years, while others ignore the situation to avoid conflict, but the unfair treatment constantly manifests itself. Both responses are unproductive and wind up hurting the wronged person more than the one who did the bad deed. So how do we forgive the unrepentant and move on with our lives?

I am hardly an expert, but evaluating the situation from the inside out works for me. Can I work this out amicably? Did I do anything that I have to make amends for in this situation? If so, will making the first step repair the relationship? If the answer is no for each question, I change my tactics. The first thing I do is take a step back from the person and wait to see what happens. Many people will not say “I’m sorry,” even when they know they are wrong. I prepare myself to accept that I may never hear those words from my aggressor, because pride is often stronger than admitting the truth.

Someone I care about has been in this unfortunate situation with a relative for several years now. The initial attack shook her so deeply that she collapsed and was rushed to the hospital as a result. I was angry at everyone involved, including her, because I couldn’t understand why she made herself sick over untrue accusations; I realized later that the attack roused her insecurities, and the fact that it came from someone she cared about took a heavy toll.

My advice is to accept that you may never receive the apology you deserve, but to grant forgiveness anyway. It doesn’t have to be a verbal declaration; as long as you make peace with the past and move on, good fortune will smile on you more than anyone else in the situation.

Can you forgive those who are blatantly unapologetic?

Cheap Summer o' Fun

The summer is (almost) here, which means the time has come to take advantage of all the free and cheap events in NYC! I’m not a big fan of the heat, and I could do without the bugs, but cheap fun in the city makes the summer worthwhile.

Every summer, my sister and I keep an eye out for great events that we can enjoy that cost us little or no money. Broadway at Bryant Park is one of our favorites, and last year, Shakespeare in the Park gave us one of our best stories ever (camping outside of Central Park is something you don’t easily forget). Usually, our biggest obstacle is keeping track of it all, but this year, I refused to let that be a deterrent. We spent hours going through the various summer guides and calendars that come out, picked our favorites, and made a calendar listing all of the events we’re interested in attending.

The best thing about the calendar is that now we’re able to share it with all of our friends as well. We can pick out the events we want to go to together and coordinate from there. The way I see it, if somebody wakes up and decides they want to do something fun and free that day or the next, they can look at the calendar and surely find something. Between dance classes, outdoor films, festivals, and musical performances, there won’t be a boring week all summer.

What do you have planned this summer? Is there something you look forward to each year?

Between Projects

There's nothing more satisfying than wrapping up a big, long-term project. My favorite example is typing the final scene of a novel and tacking on "The End" for good measure. It's a great feeling to have finished something important - the sense of accomplishment, and relief, just can't be beat. A short while later, though, comes this yawning moment of possibility - what to work on next?

Sometimes, in the world of assignments, tasks and deadlines, the answer comes easy. You can move on to the next item on the to-do list and start all over again. Other times, what's next is far less obvious.

I happen to be caught in such a moment now. My work is largely self-directed, so there's no boss looking over my shoulder and inspiring my priorities. Sure, I have agents, editors and publishers to please, but at this particular instant, I've done what I need to do for them, so the balls are in their courts, so to speak. Which means I can turn my attention toward anything I want. Hmmmm.

The lack of direction is simultaneously exciting, confusing, and nerve-wracking. It's liberating to be aimless for a while, but it's also an important choice, which project I dig into. Because for an author, work now means money later, and it's not always so easy to determine what type of book will serve me best a year or more from now.

So I try not to think about that. I try to run after the ideas that tease and interest me today, not worrying about tomorrow. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but most days at least it keeps my fingers flying over the page!

Friday Forum: Healthy Living 101

World of Wellness, TWM's month focusing on health and wellness, is coming to an end this weekend. We've been featuring guest posts all month and we want to turn the discussion over to you.

What is one (or two or three...) health tip you learned that made a positive impact in your life? Whether it's a workout secret you learned, a great set of healthy recipes, or a stress-reducing tip - share your knowledge so we can all learn from each other.

My Journey to Look & Feel Good

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Barbara as a guest blogger this week, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Barbara Charles lives in New Jersey and works as a full-time Ardyss International distributor. When she’s not working, she devotes her time to her 3 children and two grandchildren.


When I was first introduced to the Body Magic with its claim of “Dropping 2 to 3 sizes in 10 minutes,” I didn’t believe it, but I volunteered as a model and was amazed at the results. Rolls in the front and love handles disappeared… Instant hourglass shape… The Body Magic did not roll up or down, it was comfortable and my size 8 pants were now too big!

I decided right then and there that I would get involved in this business to help people look and feel good. I feel great when I watch the transformation of women who put on a Body Magic – I see their faces beam and their self-esteem get an instant boost. I’ve learned that it’s not just about changing the body; it’s about changing a person’s perspective and making them feel good about themselves. It’s also important to start living a healthier lifestyle, and giving them that boost of confidence is often what they need to start living that way. Everyone wants to change something about their body. Most people get overwhelmed at the thought of spending months dieting and exercising, and sometimes it’s easier to stay motivated if results are visible immediately.

The Body Magic is a product of Ardyss International, a health and wellness company. Our mission is to change people’s lives and help them maintain a healthily lifestyle. Ardyss has created a unique system, the Body Magic 2-Step System, which shapes you inside and out, transforming your outer appearance while improving your health.

Step 1: Wearing the customized Body Magic to tighten your abdomen and get the figure you’ve always wanted, while at the same time improving health. It also corrects the posture, lifts the breast and buttocks into proper position.

Step 2: Supplementing your health with the nutritional line which features Le’Vive (Mangosteen, Noni, Acai Berry, Goji and Pomegranate), in addition to a wide variety of multivitamins, fat reducers, regenerators and antioxidants, energizers, fibers, and digestive products that will revitalize you from the inside-out.

An appointment with Ardyss will change your life! As part of TWM’s World of Wellness, enter promo code 7328211020.

Low Expectations

It happens more than I like to admit: someone or something raises my expectations, and then disappointment sets in when the situation doesn’t work out. I recently spoke to a friend who was let down by a mutual friend who broke promises and trust. We have all experienced the fall out that comes from having “great expectations.” I have learned from experience that having the opposite works far better.

I am not being pessimistic or overly cautious by admitting this. I just know that by not expecting too much when I meet someone for the first time or get into any particular situation without knowing all of the facts, I am protecting myself from being crushed. I know people who are so dazzled by charismatic people that come into their lives that they give their trust and believe every word they say. I have learned to be observant and a bit reserved when I meet people who seem too good to be true; I am friendly without revealing too much of myself. Even after an initial meeting, I make sure to listen to my instincts when I am getting to know someone. After all, trust is something that should be earned rather than given away like party favors. Often the desire to build friendships and romantic relationships distracts us from listening to our consciences and picking up on vibes. Most of us walk away from bad situations with just our confidence shaken; others suffer much worse. For myself, I feel more comfortable with people who consistently keep their promises, and treat other people (including myself) with respect.

Having low expectations doesn’t mean I am unfriendly or unapproachable; people who know me know I am the opposite of both. I do have my guard up and ready if I ever need it, which helps when unexpected situations arise. This requires balance which some of us are better at than others. I just tell myself and those who care to listen that it’s better to be pleasantly surprised rather than cruelly disappointed.

Do you give your trust too easily?

A Bookworm's New Obsession

A couple of weeks ago, I was wondering what on earth I'd do now that Lost is over. A couple of days later, I realized that part of the problem is that this is the first time in 10 years that I don't have either Harry Potter or Lost to obsess over. I’ve been looking for a Harry Potter replacement for a few years now, but since I still had Lost to love, I wasn’t that worried. Until I didn't, and then I was.

Well, now I can quit mourning because my new obsession is here – The Passage by Justin Cronin. I received an advance copy of this book a while back, but between everything else I had to review, I just hadn’t gotten around to this massive text. Knowing that the release date was rapidly approaching and finally done with the other books I was reading, I picked it up and started reading over the weekend. And now, I just... can’t... stop.

I don’t really know how to describe this book, partly because I have no idea what’s going on and partly because it seems like one of those things that make you sound ridiculous when you explain it. It’s like trying to explain what a horcrux is to somebody who’s never read Harry Potter, or bringing up polar bears to people who don’t watch Lost... it’s just not worth mentioning. What I can tell you is that if you also have a hole in your soul that’s aching for Harry Potter, Lost, 24, Twilight, or whatever other work of literature or tv show you really crave, you should definitely check out this book. All 700+ pages of it.

Of course, the real reason I’m hoping somebody else will pick it up is because, like HP and Lost, it’s not something I want to experience alone. I’m having a really hard time keeping what I read to myself so – for the sake of my sanity – I hope somebody starts reading it with me soon.

Women of Substance

When I was little, my mom would sometimes say about the large black women we encountered, "Now there's a woman of substance." I think this may be a West African turn of phrase that she picked up in Cameroon, but I'm not really sure. Maybe it's just her thing. At any rate, I always liked the sound of it. Much better than "fat" or "heavyset" or "big-boned," as people used to say, and also better, I would argue, than current p.c. terms like "plus-sized" or even "full-figured."

I like this phrase because it speaks of something more than physicality, some kind of soul force that is somehow more visible in large women. A presence, a power that is inescapable. You know the kind of woman I'm talking about--the ones who bear children and run households and move mountains and can silence a room full of men with a look, but more often than not have yet to be fully appreciated in the world, despite their brilliance and grace.

I'm proud to say I recently witnessed two "women of substance" breaking through, and saw each honored for her wisdom, power and voice. I attended Yale University graduation last weekend, where the school bestowed honorary doctorates on Ellen Johnson Sirleaf and Aretha Franklin. Sing it, sistahs!

Aretha Franklin, of course, is the gospel-singing goddess known as the "Queen of Soul." She received an honorary Doctor of Music. Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, President of the Republic of Liberia, is the first woman elected to lead an African nation. She received an honorary Doctor of Laws. Of course, Yale didn't discover these divas--they've both been making their mark for years. But it is gratifying to see them being honored in new forms, in new venues, in front of new audiences, so that we may continue to be inspired by their gifts.

As women go, this pair definitely has a lot of substance!

Managing Stress in the Moments You Have

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Jennifer as a guest blogger this week, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Jennifer Edwards MFA, RYT is a writer, body-mind maven, and social entrepreneur. She teaches stress reduction privately and through institutions including the American Heart Association and New York University.


I started focusing on stress management because I grew up with symptoms of chronic stress - irritable bowel syndrome, constant headaches, anxiety, mild depression, oral ulcers, and blurred vision. I experienced this while training as a dancer and eating organic food. I was a poster-child for ‘healthy living’, yet I felt ‘sick’ much of the time. Having undergone batteries of tests and consultations with specialists, I decided, as single mom and college student, to seek answers on my own. I had only 2 questions: why was I ‘sick’ and how could I feel better. My passion became healing myself in the minutes of spare time I had each day.

I have found that modern-day ‘stress’ is a learned behavior. Just like any other habit, you can change the pattern of engaging the primal, neurobiological stress response. When you react to a stressor or trigger, your body releases a series of hormones that create the following results: your heart pumps faster, your digestion and reproductive systems slow down, fats and sugars are dumped into your blood stream for quick energy, and your immune, vascular, ocular and mental systems are (overly) stimulated. This can keep you alive in a situation of real danger - while you fight off or run from a predator. When we engage this reaction multiple times, daily or weekly, stress symptoms can become chronic conditions.

In daily life we often react to situations we perceive as threatening; judgment, others' expectations, or loosing a part of our self-identities (parent, partner, or successful businesswomen). When feeling stressed, start with the knowledge that you are not in real, immediate danger. Understanding the relationship between your body and mind is the first step in managing and reducing stress.

I teach people how to implement mindful practices in the moments they have each day – segments of 30 seconds to 2 minutes. The next ‘Stress Reduction 101’ class starts June 22. Mention TWM and receive 10% off the cost of the class series, or a series of private sessions, as part of TWM’s World of Wellness.

Toast (or Dance) to Your Health

As you already know, TWM has been celebrating a World of Wellness this month, with email blasts, and health-themed posts here on CHICKS ROCK!. For those of you in NYC, the culmination of all of this will be two live events. Check out the details below and be sure to RSVP today!

Latin-Lindy Dance Class with Larissa Velez
Saturday, June 12th, 2-3pm

A high octane aerobic workout, dancing Swing Samba, Salsa and more! Open to all levels.

COST: $12.50 for TWM Members; $20 for Non-Members
LOCATION: Ripley Grier Studios, 520 8th Ave. bet 36th and 37th, 16th floor

RSVP & Payment in Advance Required: christianna@thewomensmosaic.org

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

TWM's Healthy Happy Hour!
Thursday, June 10th, 6:30pm-9pm

Come celebrate the culmination of our TWM World of Wellness series- meet and consult with health and wellness providers, receive a Resource Guide, take home some goodies and have a drink (some studies have indeed shown this to be beneficial - but alcohol or not, it's healthy to socialize with TWM friends old and new!). Enjoy drink specials until 8pm!

COST: FREE!!!
LOCATION: SideBar 118 East 15th Street at Irving Place

RSVP to christianna@thewomensmosaic.org

Mid Year Assessment

When June arrives, most people think about their summer plans; vacations, parties, special events, the outdoors, etc. While I think about many of same things, I also reflect on what has already happened this year, and think ahead about the remaining months ahead. The halfway mark of 2010 is particularly important to me because I made some very important New Year’s resolutions last year. The arrival of June this year makes me think about what I have accomplished so far, and what needs to be done from now on.

As human beings, we are prone to procrastination. Some of us succumb to it more than others; I know that I have listened to the small voice in my head telling me to give up or delay finishing something I have started more than I like to admit. This year, I don’t feel as guilt-ridden as I have in previous years, because I have accomplished a great deal. I know I have much more to do, such as setting a course for my career, but what I have done so far gives me the confidence to move ahead with all of my unfulfilled goals.

It is a good thing to remember that every day we are given; we have a chance to do better than the day before. Whether it be exercise, diet, cleaning up the clutter in our living spaces, resolving our differences with a co-worker or loved one, reading another chapter of a great book that has been gathering dust on your shelf, each day gives us the time we need to accomplish our goals, no matter how big or small they may be. I know that unexpected occurrences always happen, but I persuade myself not to get too upset about what cannot be helped. Each day I am able to accomplish a goal, or at least move one step closer to doing so, I feel good.

Are you hard yourself when you don’t fulfill your own expectations? When do you give yourself a break?

Spring Cleaning Turned Shopping Spree

My goal for Memorial Day weekend was to do some major spring cleaning – clean the apartment from top to bottom, rid my closet of clothes that don’t fit me, organize the 8 (!!!) bags of clothes to donate or recycle, and then take said piles to Goodwill and the textile recycling at Union Square. Lofty goals for 3 days, but I was ready to make it happen.

That is, of course, until life got in the way.

On Friday night, when I was supposed to start my cleaning spree, a good friend of mine who I haven’t seen in a long time invited me out – I couldn’t resist! I spent all of Saturday cleaning furiously, and while I was able to make the apartment sparkle, my closet was still untouched. Sunday was so beautiful that another friend and I decided to spend a couple of hours reading in the sun… That turned into an evening cooking, eating and watching a movie. By the time I got home, I was too tired to attack my closet, but since I’d made plans to go shopping with my sisters on Monday (after cleaning out my closet, of course), I knew I had to get it done.

So I woke up at 6 a.m. on a holiday to sort through the 8 (!!!) bags of clothes I had, and I did some digging in my closet, but not nearly enough. Still, after lugging 2 huge bags of clothes to the textile recycling, I felt accomplished enough to take a break for the day. I’m glad I didn’t stress over it, because it was a great day with my sisters, shopping, strolling in the sun, and having lunch at one of our favorite restaurants.

Even though my closet’s still a mess and there are still about 6 bags/crates of clothing that need to get recycled or donated, getting to spend the time with my friends and sisters made it all worth it.

How did you spend your weekend?

Reflections on Memorial Day

It's Memorial Day, a day on which we Americans celebrate the men and women who gave their lives while serving in our Armed Forces. We celebrate by taking the day off work and throwing barbecues, boldly embracing the freedom they fought and died for. A fitting tribute, I think.

For me, Memorial Day isn't a terribly personal holiday. I've known family members who served in the military, but as far as I know all were lucky enough to live to tell the tale. But that doesn't make me indifferent to the cause that we honor today. As a history buff and author of historical fiction, I can't help look back at the wars we've fought with a critical and curious and compassionate eye.

By and large, I have the soul of a pacifist and the convictions of a conscientious objector. The humanitarian in me wishes we had fought fewer wars in our nation's brief history, but the realist in me understands why these things occur, and why they sometimes need to. And so, I feel grateful for those who stand up and serve, because it's not a job any of us should take lightly.

In a few weeks, I'll be traveling to Washington D.C. for a library conference. I don't know how much time I'll have to explore the monuments, but I hope to get a chance to walk around the outdoor war memorials and such. I was there a few years ago, and I found it a meaningful stroll. One of those moments when I felt like part of a much greater whole, as a citizen and an American, as a piece of the great web of history that encompasses all of our stories.

Loving Your Natural Beauty

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Faith as a guest blogger this week, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Faith Zelenko is the co-founder of Bambola Beauty along with her daughter, Kristine Hooper. Faith’s beauty obsession started at the age of 18 when she attended cosmetology school. She never lost her passion for natural skin care products, passing it down to her daughter and working with her to realize her lifelong dream.


I was the child that was the problem for my mom. That is, with my skin anyway. I had light complexion, lots of freckles along with dry and sensitive skin. So you can image the challenge my mom had when my sisters and brother didn’t experience any of that. The one who had to stay out of the sun or wear the hat was always me. But it taught me at an early age to understand the care my skin needed. I didn’t even know of SPF until I was a late teen, so I had to resort to my mom and grandmother’s potions.

First, my mom started out by telling me that as I aged my freckles would fade because of something called pigment. That doesn’t help an 8-year-old. My grandmother’s next trick (or what she called an old wives tale) was to take the spring’s early morning dew on May Day (May 1) and let my face absorb nature’s water for a healthy glowing complexion. My grandmother would continue to whip up all sorts of concoctions for my face while my siblings sat by laughing. I really don’t want to admit how many years I continued to use the morning dew trick, but it was the catalyst that introduced me to what nature had to offer.

I never lost my love or appreciation for the earth’s bounty and that is what inspired me to create Bambola Beauty, an organic luxury skincare line. Now I can pass down to my daughter, who works on the brand with me, the importance of caring for your skin with all-natural ingredients – creating age-defying results with chemicals. Be sure to check out our site and shop with a 15% discount off your entire order, a free deluxe sample and free shipping for TWM's World of Wellness using the code "Wellness" thru June 30.

Making the Time

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes back Sasha as a guest blogger this week, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Sasha is a Cornell University alumna. She loves spending time with her sisters, listening to music, eating, and bettering the world in any way she can.


As a weight loss coach in a women’s gym, I interact with busy women every day – the type that do not listen to what I advise because they are simply too busy to eat breakfast as soon as they wake up, eat another five times a day, and take care of their health. Having been a person who juggles tasks and responsibilities like the air I breathe I can certainly relate to these women. It has always been difficult for me to make time for myself because I am so busy taking care of a billion other things that I forget that I matter too. But I do matter and I cannot expect to give my best to others if I am not first giving back to myself.

Surely it is and will always be a struggle but I have come a very long way. For many years, I was the kind of person who lived life for other people. It took a great deal of time for me to realize that this is my life, not anyone else’s. I came to this realization about two years ago and since then beautiful things have happened: I completely changed my eating habits (resulting in 45-pound weight loss), attained a new attitude and positive outlook on life, developed a deeper relationship with myself, and acquired a passion for something I never thought I would be interested in – nutrition!

There is clearly a lesson to be learned from all of this. However difficult it may be, we must make the time to take care of ourselves before we take on the weight of the world. It is true most of us do not have the luxury of spending more than 5 minutes – if that – alone every day but it is imperative for our health and sanity to pencil ourselves into our own schedules every once in a while. We are responsible for our own happiness just as others are responsible for their own happiness. As my older sister says, “Be a little selfish because no one can ever be selfish for you.”

Eating Right For Life

As I mentioned in last week's post, I decided to take on a juice fast, which I just completed earlier this week. I feel like a new person after my experience; I may have been tempted by sweets and other carb-filled treats, but I never indulged. The "old me" would have snuck in a bite of cake or some ice cream, but the "new me" always stopped before picking up a spoon. I now realize that when I began my juice fast last week, I was in the right mind set to do so.

Now that my juice fast is complete, I want to maintain my positive outlook by making sure I eat as well as possible. This means planning ahead, which has always been a problem of mine when it comes to food. Buying groceries for the week and living off of them exclusively is a novelty for many, but I am doing it without any complaints, so far. I have found that I save a great deal of money by doing this, which is extremely beneficial during this difficult economic period.

Organic fruits and vegetables are not cheap, but I make it work by buying and using them all during the week. I think buying organic produce is important to my ongoing quest for maintaining health, so I will continue to do so. For anyone who is intimidated by the organic food movement, I say don't be; stick with organic produce as much as possible, if nothing else. You really will taste the difference.

I feel relieved and happy when I look at my refrigerator and know that all of the food in it is good for me. I know the next few weeks will be challenging, but I am looking forward to it. I am physically and spiritually inspired to continue eating right indefinitely!

Do you have any similar food stories to share?

Mourning My TV Buddies

In two days, I had to say goodbye to two of my favorite shows with the series finales of Lost and 24. It was great to have such awesome television back to back, but I woke up this morning feeling a bit bummed about it.

I don’t actually watch that much tv, so I think losing two of the few shows I do watch was a bit too sad for me. Either way, it’s incredible just how attached I became to something as inconsequential as a tv show. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m any less sad about it, and I figure what good is a blog if I can’t use it to mourn a little? So please indulge me for a bit, and feel free to jump in if you’re also a fan of either show so I don’t feel so alone!

My guy and I have been watching Lost for the 4.5 years or so, after renting the first season and watching it in less than a week. Over the next couple of years, we got a couple of other people hooked and, together, we kept up with the major fan sites, related ABC websites, and other random geekiness thrown in here and there. I’m still a bit disappointed in this final season because I think the writing and storytelling just wasn’t as good this year as it has been in the past, but I’m satisfied with the finale and ready to re-watch the entire series.

With 24, it’s been completely different. A few months ago, my guy and I decided to try watching season 1 on DVD because people seem to love it so much. Funnily enough, we were partly looking for a show to watch once Lost was over… only that just as we got hooked, it was announced that 24 was ending!

So now it’s over, and I’m suddenly wondering what on earth I’m going to do to de-stress and keep myself entertained with great drama that exercises my brain. Any ideas on how to fill the void? What are some of your favorite shows?

How to Stay Fit and Focused

We're changing the pace a bit to remind you that TWM's World of Wellness is in full swing, urging all of us to focus on our health and fitness this month.

In addition to the health-related posts we've featured here at CHICKS ROCK!, there's been a weekly email blast jam-packed with great resources. Here are some highlights from the latest blast:
Laser Cosmetica's offering a discount to TWM's World of Wellness guests,
The New York Chiropractic Life Center, recognized as the "Best of New York Chiropractors," are dedicated to helping you achieve your wellness objectives,
Dynamic Outdoors presents personalized outdoors adventures, to stay fit the fun way,
Bambola Beauty has a great line for your natural skincare needs.

Sign up for TWM's mailing list so you can get the rest of the blasts scheduled for TWM's World of Wellness filled with great links and discounts. In the weeks to come, you can also look forward to fitness classes and a live health fair event. And, of course, check in at CHICKS ROCK! for more guest posts all about health and wellness.

Don't forget you can also contact TWM if you're interested in being a sponsor for this great event and want to be featured in the future blasts and posts.

Take Back Your Health

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Drs. Josh and Jay as guest bloggers this week, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Drs. Josh and Jay Handt are Chiropractors located on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Their office, The New York Chiropractic Life Center, has been serving NYC since 1978, and has been consistently recognized as the "Best of New York Chiropractors."


Chiropractic as an alternative to conventional drugs and surgery looks at your health in a very different and unique way. Chiropractic is the second largest primary health care profession in the world, focusing on the detection and correction of interference to the proper functioning of the nervous system (master control system). This interference is caused by misalignments in the spine. Knowing that your nervous system controls everything that goes on in your body from breathing to healing, you can begin to see how any interference to it can affect every aspect of your health and life.

When it comes to women's health, the trend has been to categorize normal female body functions as diseases. This fact alone has generated billions of dollars for the medical and pharmaceutical industries with little or no improvement in the quality of women's health and longevity. The creation of medical specialties in the field of women's health care for such things as Female Sexual Dysfunction, PMS, fertility and menopause has created over 300 drugs geared specifically to women, which are being pushed on the unsuspecting female population.

In our office, we analyze your health and spine through in-house x-ray, computer diagnostics (certified by the Space Foundation), which measures your level nervous system function, in addition to computerized posture analysis, a thorough history, and a hands on Chiropractic exam to enable us to provide you with the safest, gentlest chiropractic care available. Our goal is to bring good health to life, especially yours.

Now that you are ready to take control of your health, call our office within the next 4 weeks and receive a free no obligation consultation and spinal analysis ($210+ value). This is our gift to you as part of TWM's World of Wellness!!

Showing Up

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Judy as a guest blogger this week, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Judy Griffin is a Certified Holistic Health & Wellness Coach, loving wife and mom of four. Her life long passion for health and wellness led her to a career where she can empower busy women to nourish their way to a vibrant life.


I recently lost a special friend and one thing that struck me is how her presence touched so many lives. Sue always showed up with love, sunshine, grace and compassion. She shared in your happiness and celebrated the good times but more importantly she listened, supported and embraced you in the sad times. She rarely if ever chose to complain, judge or gossip. Sue was a true gift and we will miss her smiles, hugs and beautiful nature.

This got me thinking about how much showing up matters. How do you show up in your life? Is the best of you shining through? Or is something holding you back? Managing our emotions plays a key role and when in balance, our authentic self is released.

Of course balance is a constant challenge. Can you remember the last time you felt inspired and energized? Perhaps you can’t because you are feeling depressed or stressed. As women, nurturers and caretakers we can often get lost in the shuffle and minimize the importance of self-care. This can have detrimental effects on our health so we need to remember that it’s all connected! Our emotions are in the driver seat so we can’t thrive if we suppress them.

Feeling disconnected is a signal to tune in and assess what is driving your emotions, behavior and cravings. It often starts with the many faces of nourishment and making a nutritional shift can have a positive impact. When we neglect ourselves in some way, we feed an imbalance that can result in unhealthy habits which compromise our system, leaving us susceptible to illness.

"Food is a meditation, a sadhana and a prayer.
Good food is a virtue. Food can change your attitude,
your behavior, your future, your present;
it can change your health, wealth, happiness, everything." Yogi Bhajan

Mindful choices and awareness connect our body, soul & spirit. Take a moment to turn your focus inward to assess your health, choices, and intentions. Determine if the real you is showing up and if not, then I warmly invite you to visit my website, complete a health profile and schedule a complimentary breakthrough session. Together we will explore your lifestyle to determine goals and action steps in order to carve out your unique path to optimal wellness.

Juicing and Detoxing My Way

When I make big changes in my life, I want to make a fresh start. This requires considerable effort from me, and one of the things I have decided to do is to concentrate on my health. My days of going through drive-through windows may not be over, but I plan to make much healthier choices when it comes to the food I eat. One way I plan to do this is by starting a juice fast and avoiding two staples in my diet.

This isn’t the first time I have done a juice fast. A few years ago, my sister and I went through one together for a few days, and it was very enlightening. I found myself not craving solid foods at all during the process, because all of the vegetables I was consuming in one glass filled me up. My vision was sharper, and I felt an overall sense of positivity.

When Kristina suggested a juice fast at last week’s “Thursdays at Three” meeting, I knew I had to do it again. I took her suggestions into consideration and did my own research to create a plan that is right for me. I will do a juice fast this week using the knowledge of experts on the subject of “juicing” and overall health. Even after the fast in complete, I will use my juicer weekly to supplement one meal with a fully satisfying glass of vegetable and fruit juice.

I don’t believe in dieting, but I do believe in eating healthy and knowing which foods to minimize or avoid all together. I never drink soda, I hardly drink store-bought juice, but I do have dairy and wheat products often, and I will be giving both up for the next month as part of my detox program. Giving up wheat will be very difficult, since it is in everything! But I am determined to choose gluten-free alternatives and to read all labels.

Does anyone have any juicing and/or detox advice to share?

For the Love of Wacky Challenges

One thing I’ve noticed lately is that I love a wacky challenge! It seems that ever since my sister and I started talking seriously about our ever-growing desire to compete on the Amazing Race, my competitive spirit is starting to rise to the surface much more than usual.

Most recently, this came up when a foodie friend of mine mentioned the Foodie Photo Scavenger Hunt. A food blogger that she loves was running his second annual scavenger hunt in NYC to win tickets to a major charity event, Toast to the Children. The hunt would take us around NYC doing things like holding a spotted pig outside The Spotted Pig, trying to cut the line at Shake Shack, and snapping a shot with five guys outside Five Guys Burgers. Her excitement about the prize and my excitement about the challenge sealed the deal and, with only 24 hours to map out a plan of action, we were committed.

We had our setbacks – a late start, a few unplanned pit stops, strange weather, major subway problems, etc. – and we spent entirely too much money, but it was one of the best times I’ve had in a while. In the end, we had over 100 photos documenting our adventure (you can check out a bunch here, though I’m not in most of them – I was the photographer). We didn’t end up winning, but we did get second place which still got us tickets to the event.

Of course, it wouldn’t have mattered if we hadn’t gotten second place, because the experience itself was great. But it sure was exciting to find out that the 50 hours we spent running around the city was being rewarded.

Standing in Solidarity

I recently participated in a demonstration by the Uyghur American Association, urging the United Nations to defend the human rights of the Uyghur people of Northwest China. I learned of the issue from a writer friend, who wrote a novel about the region.

Until recently, I (like most Americans) had never heard of the Uyghurs, a Turkic, Muslim people who reside in East Turkistan, in the northwest province of China. Like the people of Tibet, the Uyghurs are a minority group being oppressed by the Chinese government. Increased police presence has forced the Uyghurs to practice their religion in secret, as their language and culture is slowly stripped from them by the Han Chinese majority. Teenage Uyghur girls are frequently exported (and exploited) to labor in factories in Southern China. All live under fear of “disappearance,” especially those who show any political activity.

I haven’t done much demonstrating lately, so it felt good to be walking with a sign, even for a cause I can’t really claim as “mine.” The air was chilly, and the crowd small, but they made up for their numbers with fervor. I meant to make a token appearance, but I ended up marching enthusiastically alongside the group of excited teenagers who formed the bulk of the demonstration. A sixteen-year-old Uyghur-American boy brought all his school friends to help out. I felt excited to see these young guys standing up for something important. Their hand-lettered signs showed they had put a lot of thought into the event beforehand.

The organizers secured permits for the demonstration route, but we met with a lot of resistance from several building staffs. My pulse raced with righteous indignation when one building manager came out of a high rise to shoo us away. “We own this sidewalk,” she said, threatening to call the cops. “It’s private property.” When the police came, they stood up for the demonstration, confirming our permit and our right to stand on a public sidewalk. I admit to being a bit jaded about law enforcement at times, but these four officers restored my faith as they protected our right to free speech and assembly. I felt proud to be an American right then.

Smile in Your Liver

CHICKS ROCK! is happy to have Kristina back as a guest blogger, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Kristina Leonardi is the founder of The Women’s Mosaic. She is a career/life path consultant, speaker, seminar leader and expert in the areas of women, diversity and personal growth.


In the best-selling book Eat, Pray, Love, Liz Gilbert visits a holy man in Bali who gives her a meditation to 'smile in every part of your body, even in your liver'. This is a great way to activate the feelings of joy within...even just reading that makes you feel a little lighter and more relaxed doesn't it?

Well, if that doesn't do it, then what will? Whatever the thought or image is, make sure you get a daily dose in order to keep yourself young, happy and at peace. Doing so has numerous health benefits and when identified and used properly, is cheaper and better than any diet pill, drug or food out there!

Whether savoring a scoop of gelato, relishing in a job well-done, experiencing a romantic moment, or watching an episode of Glee, recognize and cherish those moments you feel joyful. Try to sustain and bathe in the sensation for as long as you can and be able to recall it when you need it the most.

I recently attended a friend's musical that had me smiling from ear to ear, and from my heart, gut and, yes, even my liver for an hour and a half. If he had not followed his calling to create, I would not have enjoyed the positive mental, physical and emotional benefits that came along with it.

Everyone has the capacity to bring joy to the world, or at least to someone else. If you don't believe me or are not quite sure how, gimme a buzz -because my work gives me such joy, it would be my pleasure, literally, to help you figure it out!

Find Your Own Groove

CHICKS ROCK! welcomes Robin as a guest blogger today, as part of TWM's World of Wellness:

Robin Fischman is a Certified Holistic Health Counselor who works with busy professionals to help them reach their health and wellness goals. She creates a supportive environment where people are coached to make gradual food and lifestyle changes that last a lifetime.


When was the last time you talked to someone about your health?

Are you confused about all the health and diet information that's out there? Are you asking yourself should I be eating a low carb diet? Are all fats bad? Do you find yourself mindlessly eating? Are you having trouble losing those last 10 lbs?

Health and wellbeing is a personal journey. What works for one person may not work for another. It's important for each of us to find our way to the diet and lifestyle that supports our well being.

Here are a few simple things you can do to discover what the best foods are for you.

1) Slow down and tune into your body. Eat slowly, chew thoroughly and focus on the meal you are eating. Check in with yourself after eating a meal. How do you feel 20 minutes after eating? How about two hours later? How is your mood? How is your focus? Do you feel tired? Or do you feel energized?

2) Eat whole foods and grains and avoid processed foods at all costs. The more processed a food is the less nutritional value it has. Foods that are closer to the source are more easily digested and provide your body with the energy it needs to get through your busy day.

3) Find exercise and movement that make you happy. Turn up the music and dance. Try a power walk outside in the fresh air. Take a lap or two around the office in the middle of the day. Change up your exercise routine, try a new class.

4) Talk to a Holistic Health Counselor who is trained to listen and help you to find what works best for you. You will work together in a supportive environment and make gradual diet and lifestyle changes that will help you find balance in your life and allow you to reach your health and wellness goals and live the life you love. Do something good for yourself! Schedule a FREE health consultation today.

Everyday Health and Fitness

We are constantly inundated with health advice that is very confusing at times. One report may say that eating meat is better for weight loss; another says eliminating all animal products is the best option. Exercising three times a week is adequate according to some reports, but recently I heard that one hour every day is essential. I know that each person is unique, with different health concerns and metabolism levels, so what works for some may not work for others. Consultation with a trusted doctor is our best bet to formulating effective fitness and health plans, but most of us don’t even think of it. I know I haven’t, and I have health insurance.

Starting and maintaining a fitness regime is difficult because most of us are intimidated by the time and effort required to make it successful. Time management and discipline are key factors, and most of us struggle with both. I know that I do, and I make a concerted effort to do something physically active every day. I take stairs instead of an elevator whenever I can, I make sure to walk rigorously whenever I can, I stand up and do leg stretches every hour if I am sitting in front of the computer for extended periods of time, etc. I have to remind myself constantly to do these things, but it is worth the effort, in my opinion. I have much more to do, but I do believe that I am on the right path when it comes to fitness.

Do you find daily physical fitness a challenge or is it a natural part of your everyday routine?

A Change in Resolutions

If you remember from my posts a few months ago, I made a short-term resolution for the start of the New Year to focus on my health and fitness. For the first three months, I tried going to the gym as often as I could, I went to hot yoga at least once a week, and I paid more attention to the food I was eating. At the end of March, I felt great! Since then, however, it’s been a spiral back to where I was before.

Part of the problem is the fact that I have so much going on right now; my health is the last thing on my list. As I mentioned last week, I can barely keep up with the networking, brunching, wining and dining – making time for the gym seems near impossible. Remembering to eat is becoming a problem because I get so focused on my tasks at work. Add to that the endless supply of soda in the office and the free (not-quite healthy) munchies we often get, and my diet is definitely not at its best.

Funnily enough, my guy’s commitment to his own physical fitness is starting to intimidate me. He goes to the gym every day, no matter what. If it means getting to the gym at 10 following an after-work event or getting up early on a day when his schedule is packed after work, he does it. Even when I was focusing on my health, there were several days I just didn’t make it to the gym. It almost feels like if I can’t be as committed as he is, it’s a waste.

So even though my resolution for the second quarter of the year was to get my travel plans lined up, I’m going to bring the focus back to health and fitness for the next couple of months. If I don’t make the effort, then I won’t see the changes, so I’m ready to get back on track!

Seeking: Fitness Options That Fit

I'm kicking off our week of blogging about health and fitness, as part of TWM's World of Wellness month!

I consider myself a fairly healthy person. I eat my veggies. I get my check-ups. But, I must admit, it would be a bit of a stretch to say that I focus strongly on fitness in my daily life. I've thought about this quite a bit lately. As a work-from-home author, there are days when I barely leave the confines of my little apartment, let alone get any significant exercise.

I do enjoy walking regularly, and when the weather's good I'm willing to walk home from just about anywhere in the city. But I don't tend to just go outside for a walk, unless I have a place to go and purpose for going there. So it doesn't happen every day.

A year or two ago, I tried working with a personal trainer, which worked out for a while. It gave me a consistent time to exercise, and he showed me how to use weight training machines, which I partially enjoyed. I stopped when my first batch of sessions ran out, because weight training isn't really what works best for me, personally. I need aerobic exercise more than I need to build muscle. My natural strength and muscle tone emerges when I keep my heart pumping regularly.

The thing is, I know what I really want to do for exercise. I want to swim or resume the ballroom dancing lessons I took years ago. The challenge has been finding an option for either one that is both convenient and affordable. That's probably not a great excuse. Maybe it's time I started seeking new options again!

Friday Forum: Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day weekend, a great time to celebrate not only ourselves and our mothers, but also the other women who have influenced your life.

How do you celebrate the mother figures in your life? Will you be celebrating with them this weekend?

We Want YOU for a World of Wellness

As we announced last week, TWM is celebrating a World of Wellness this month (you can still sign up to be a sponsor!). Part of this focus will carry over to CHICKS ROCK! next week as we feature posts all about health, wellness, and fitness.

Have you been looking for a chance to guest blog on CHICKS ROCK! but weren't sure what to write about? Or have you been a guest blogger before and want to come back? Here's a great chance to write about something that affects so many of us. Do you have a physical or mental health problem? Do you struggle to maintain a healthy weight or diet? Did you recently reach a health or fitness goal?

Check out our guest blogger guidelines and submit a guest post! We can't wait to hear from you.

Thoughts On Forgiveness

Forgiveness is difficult for most of us; for some it is almost impossible. I am will to forgive anyone who has wronged me if they are sincere. But what do you do when you find yourself forgiving someone many times for the same thing? When does forgiveness end and detachment begin?

When I was recently asked to accept an apology I have heard many times over the years, I was surprised at how calm I was. I was relieved for other person, because he was obviously wracked with guilt and remorse for what he had done. As for myself, I was just glad the whole ordeal was over, but there were no other stronger feelings (negative or positive) that were aroused in me. The only way I can explain how I felt was that I accepted the other person for who he is. He also told me that he will never change, which deepened my acceptance of the situation.

Forgiving and forgetting are two things that should be done together, but I am wary of the latter. I can certainly forgive, but forgetting is an entirely different issue. If the wrong done to me was one-time incident, then I can do both. But I think that both become irrelevant if the transgressor is a repeat offender who continues to do the same thing over and over again; I never want to think of myself as a gullible fool who is constantly taken advantage of by those who think that kindness and forgiveness are acts of weakness. I also find that I cannot forget someone else's transgressions towards me completely, because the lessons learned from the experience would be lost as well.

The trick is to never sink to the other person's level, especially if they play dirty. I would never treat anyone the way I was treated, which makes me feel especially good. I feel like I am breaking the cycle of negativity so I can move on to more positive things in my life.

Can you forgive and forget completely? Why or why not?

Over-Scheduled, Under-Organized

One thing I’ve always been good at is staying organized. Ever since high school, my planner was my best friend. I never went anywhere without it and if it didn’t fit in my bag, I’d carry a small pencil and some of those tiny post-its so I could write down an important event and stick it in my planner when I got home. Yep, I was that anal about it.

For some reason, it’s been really hard to keep up with things lately. I wrote a bit about this when I left my iPhone behind a few months back, but it’s only gotten worse. I have at least one event or outing I’m invited to every day, whether it’s an after-work networking event, dinner with friends, the NY Tech Meetup, a relative’s birthday party, a Sunday brunch, etc. It feels nice to know that there are so many people in my network of friends and acquaintances, and that work-related functions like workshops and conferences are interesting enough to keep me busy… but it sure is hard to balance it all.

All of these invites mean that I often agree to spend time with somebody without realizing I’ve already committed that date to something else. In the past few weeks, I’ve double-booked not once but three times! A friend of mine keeps jokingly telling me I need to hire an assistant to keep track of my social calendar. And to think that just over a year ago, I was complaining about not having enough to do.

Needless to say, it’s about time for me to get myself organized again. My planner is small, but not small enough to take with me everywhere. My iPhone would be an obvious solution, but I’m not a fan of the calendar. Maybe I should buy some tiny pens and post-its to go back to my college routine.

How do you stay organized? Do you have a hard time keeping track of your social calendar?

Controversial Cleavage

The clothing company Lane Bryant recently reported that a new ad featuring a plus-size model has been censored from prime time network television because the models were "too sexy" and showing too much skin. Meanwhile, the same networks aired a Victoria's Secret ad in prime time. A case of size discrimination? Here is a link to a Jezebel article that better outlines the controversy, but I thought I'd post the video here, too.

This is the Lane Bryant ad, which ABC and FOX have reportedly refused to run during Dancing with the Stars and American Idol, respectively:

Now, I'm the first to agree that the plus-size model (she's size 16) is sexier than any size 0. (Full round hips vs. protruding hip bones? Generous cleavage vs. exposed ribs? No contest.) We've all known for a while now that, although it's great to be slender in a healthy way, women's bodies are meant to curve and carry a bit of fat in certain places. (Let's face it, there's a reason why we need lingerie in the first place....)

What I actually find fascinating about this is how any television network can argue with a straight face that they believe bigger women to be sexier. These are the same network execs who have spent the last few decades spoonfeeding us images of increasingly thin women, calling them sexy, and turning the regular girls among us upside-down with self-doubt, because it's just not real to be that thin.

The networks have denied the accusations of discrimination, and may ultimately even run the ad. Still, it would be naive to think that the TV studios are coming around to a healthier way of looking at women. No, I believe that they are using "sexy" as an excuse to keep these images out of the public eye as long as possible. Because once these sexy, full-figured ladies make the limelight, the lies the networks spent half a century building will begin to break down. The public might just start to demand "sexy" women in all their TV fare. For networks built on such a... slim... foundation, that would mean starting over from scratch. And they don't want to.